As I stared at her I couldn't even believe she was the same person I'd thought I'd fallen in love with eight months ago. Maybe I hadn't been paying attention all this time either.
I got up off the couch and walked over to the sliding glass door that led out onto the balcony. When I opened it up the smell of the ocean and forest overpowered my senses. The scent in the air and the feel of the cool breeze on my skin was almost intoxicating. I stepped out and crossed the patio, closing my eyes as I wrapped my hands around the edge of the glass railing. I wasn't going to let Brittany ruin this for me. I wanted her to be happy, but if she wasn't even capable of listening to me when I talked about the place we were moving to, her apparent misery was her own fault. There wasn't much I could do about it now.
I walked over to a telescope on the far west corner of the balcony and removed the cover, then lowered my eye down to the viewfinder and scanned the nearby forest, trying to get the hang of focusing the thing. I had no idea where I was going to build my house or the one I had planned for my parents, but I had an idea. I wanted it to be close enough to the water that there was easy to access the beaches, but then I worried that it might be too far from the main road for my parents. They were getting older and I wanted them to be comfortable. I didn't want them to have to trek around too much to get anywhere.
But I also didn't want to have too much of an impact on the area by adding more access roads than necessary. I thought about having them out for a visit soon. They could give me their input and moral support. This was one of the most exciting times of my life, but I still needed someone around who would be supportive. I sure as hell wasn't getting that from Brittany.
I moved the viewfinder toward the ocean and scanned the coastline. Even from this distance I could see a few green turtles floating along the shore. I kept moving the telescope until I came to the curved sandy beach of the cove. I was surprised that there was such a clear view from up here. But I could see just about the whole cove through an open section in the trees.
I smiled at the idea of that place actually belonging to me after all this time. A warm feeling filled my chest when I thought about walking on that beach with Maggie again. After all these years I could still picture the way the fading light in the sky reflected off her eyes, and the sexy part in her lips just before mine touched them.
Something caught my eye near the surf and I refocused the telescope on a woman in a red dress. At first I was surprised to see someone on such a secluded beach. It was public land, but it was pretty remote. There were no roads that led up to the beach itself. The only way to access the cove, or any of the beaches along this entire corner of the island, was to park along the gravel service road, then hike in on one of the many miles of trails.
But as I watched the woman walk along with the waves lapping at her feet, I remembered that Maggie had been wearing a similar dress when I'd seen her a few hours ago. I watched the woman for a long time, her long dark hair blowing gently in the breeze along with the skirt of her dress. It had to be her. The way she moved and the gentle stillness that had always drawn my curiosity. It felt a little weird to be watching her without her knowledge, but I couldn't stop myself. The longer I looked at her through the viewfinder, the more I wanted to know her again.
"Anything interesting?"
I jumped a little when I heard Brittney's voice, then turned and looked at her.
"I'm sorry, Shane. I didn't mean to start a fight. I know how much you were looking forward to coming back here, and if it means that much to you I'm willing to give it a try."
I put my arm out so that she could stand next to me, then I closed it around her. "That's okay. I know this was a difficult move for you. I'm sure you'll get used to it here, maybe even grow to love it as much as I do." I wanted to believe the words that I heard coming out of my mouth, but a voice in my head told me not to hold my breath.
"What were you looking at?"
"Oh, just a part of the land that I'm purchasing." I looked back through the eyepiece and the woman in the red dress had disappeared. I wondered if it really was Maggie that I watched as she wandered along that same spot where we kissed ten years ago, or if it was just wishful thinking.
"Look through here. You can see a little cove that's completely circled by the forest. It's a really beautiful spot." I moved Brittany in front of me so that she could look through the telescope.
"Neat," she said without much enthusiasm. "How do you get down there?"
"There's a trail. It's not a rough hike at all. Maybe fifteen minutes," I said with a hopeful enthusiasm that I suspected was not going to be returned.
"No flats, remember?"
"Oh, yeah. Well, we'll figure something out."
LATER THAT NIGHT, around midnight after the sky was black and the stars were out, I went out onto the balcony and took in the amazing sight of the star-filled sky and the reflection of the moon on the rippling waves. I really loved it here. I knew there were plenty of other places in the world that were just as beautiful and where I would be very happy, but there was just something about this island. I wasn't completely sure but I had a feeling it had to do with Maggie.
I felt Brittany move up behind me. She didn't touch me but I could just feel that she was there.
"Isn't the sky amazing?" I asked. "The stars are so much more visible since there's not as many city lights on this side of the island."
"More like no city lights at all."
"Yeah, you're right," I said as I turned and pulled her closer to me. It didn't sound like she was too impressed with the stars, but I chose to ignore the implications in her tone. "And no lights down here means brighter lights up there."
"Shane …"
"Yeah," I said, kissing the top of her head.
"I don't think this is going to work."
I pulled back a little and looked down at her, but her eyes didn't meet mine. "What, this house? Is it really that bad?"
"It's not just the house. It's everything. I guess I really had different ideas about what it would be like when we got here—how we would be living. I mean, we can both afford a lot better than this, Shane. Between us we could probably buy one of the skyscrapers in downtown Honolulu and live on the penthouse floor, but instead we're here."
"You make that sound like a bad thing. To me this is the kind of place that, usually, money can't buy. It just so happens that my money can buy it this time, though. I'm in the right place at the right time with more money than I ever dreamed I'd have, thanks to some really good investments. Do you have any idea how lucky I am to have this opportunity?"
"Opportunity for what? There's nothing here, Shane." I could see in her eyes how serious she was, but I just couldn't believe it.
"How can you look around and say there's nothing here? That incredibly blue ocean, the forest, the beaches and this amazing sky all in one place. It's perfect."
"It may be perfect to you, but it's not to me. I don't want to live here in this house, or down there in that jungle. I just don't. I'm sorry, but we want different things."
I stood there and stared at the moon reflecting in the ocean for a moment while Brittany slipped out of my arms. "I guess you're right. I'm sorry I brought you here."
"Don't apologize. It was my fault too."
"I'll fly you back in the morning."
"That's okay, I already booked my flight. I just need a ride to the airport, since I'm assuming there's no cabs on this island."
"Well … there are cabs here, but I'll take you myself. It's the least I can do."
"No, Shane, the least you could do was be the totally understanding person that you are. Thank you for not making this hard for me. I haven't been particularly pleasant since we got here and you've been really sweet, as usual."
"Of course." I wanted to wrap my arms around her, mostly because endings always made me sad and I knew it would make me feel better. But I also knew it was best to let her go. Best for both of us.
CHAPTER 5
MA
GGIE
"Hey, what do you think of this mortar and pestle for my kitchen? It matches the tiki theme I've got going on in there."
I heard the words coming out of Janine's mouth, but for some reason they weren't registering. Well, I knew the reason. I hadn't been able to stop thinking about Shane—not for one second—since I ran into him yesterday. "Sorry, what?"
"Are you okay, Maggie? You seem kinda down today. Is it about that land? Where your cat is buried?"
"Yeah, but … it's more than that, Janine."
"What, sweetie?"
I felt like I had to talk to Janine about how I was feeling. Maybe not tell her all the gory details about how in love with Shane I'd been these last ten years, but I wanted to at least tell her about what happened. I needed feedback and support. I couldn't just wallow forever. "I didn't tell you everything yesterday. I just … I've never really told anyone and it's not really … I mean, I don't want to make a big deal out of it."
"What's going on?"
"Promise me you won't make a big deal out of it."
"I promise! Will you tell me already?"
"Okay, well, you know Shane Holloway …"
"Uh, yeah—the guy you turned beet red in front of yesterday? Yeah, I think I know who you're talking about."
"You're kidding! I did? Oh god, now I'm even more embarrassed that I was yesterday, and I didn't even think that was possible. Do you think he noticed?"
"Well, from the little I know about him, I'm pretty sure he's not blind."
"Great."
"So, come on! Out with it!"
"Okay, you asked me how well I knew him back in high school, before he left for Hollywood, and I told you not that well. That was true, we hung out throughout high school, but mostly in larger groups with other friends, until …"
"Until?"
"Well, just before he moved away he asked me to go down to the cove with him."
"The cove? Your cove?"
"Yeah. And he kissed me."
"Oh my god, Maggie! What was it like?"
"It was the most amazing kiss I've ever had in my life, Janine. I've never been able to stop thinking about it, and now that he's back here and I've seen him in person again, it's like my memory of that night has gone into overdrive. I keep picturing that night on the beach. His gorgeous eyes looking down at me … and his perfect lips moving toward me … until they touched mine. Oh God!" I covered my face like a star-struck teenager.
"Oh my God, Maggie, you're hilarious! You've got a crush on Shane Holloway!"
"Shut up!"
I heard Janine laugh and I knew she was laughing with me, because I knew just how hilarious this whole thing was. I was a grown woman for christ's sake. "But that's not a bad thing, is it? Having a crush on him? I mean, he's just a dude. He may be famous, but underneath all that he's a pretty regular guy."
"Well, considering everything, his model girlfriend and the real estate deal, and not to mention me spazzing out like a total idiot when I saw him—including but not limited to the blushing—I'd say it's pretty bad."
"Oh yeah, I forgot about all that."
"Thanks."
"I'm kidding! Okay, let's think about this. The model girlfriend is not a definite thing. Relationships end all the time, so that problem is not a total dream killer. And you spazzing out is absolutely not an issue, I can guarantee you that."
"How? I knocked over all those trays. I made a complete idiot out of myself right in front of him and the entire restaurant, Janine!"
"Yeah, but like I said, you're way too hard on yourself. Everything you do, even when you're knocking over a stack of trays, is pretty damned cute. You've got a total hot, cute thing going on that a lot of guys are into."
"I don't know about that," I said. I could feel my face growing hot again.
"Believe me, you do. I'm sure, if he has any interest in you at all, he didn't care about what happened at the restaurant. In fact, he might have even been nervous to see you too."
"Yeah, right. He acted like he barely remembered me. So what about the third thing?"
"The land deal? Yeah that's a tough one. I'll look into it at work, see if there are any permits being taken out yet. You never know, he might not be planning anything too major there."
"Just the fact that that whole area is turning into private land is major enough. I can't fathom not being able to go there whenever I need to—which is pretty much all the time."
Janine turned to the stall owner and handed her some cash. "Well, all you can do at this point is wait and see what happens. I'll look into it, don't worry. So, do you wanna get something to eat?"
"Yeah, sure, I think that amazing hand pie place just opened up a stall around here somewhere. I put their card in my purse," I said fishing around inside the big shoulder bag I carried with me everywhere. I spotted it way down at the bottom, and tried to get it out from amongst all the other crap, but dropped the whole bag, contents and all, onto the ground when I felt someone slam into me.
I looked down at my turned over bag, and everything in it, as it lay scattered on the ground. When I looked back up at who I'd run into I wanted to die. It was Shane. He was standing right in front of me, his body practically pressed against mine, and before I could move or say a word, he grabbed both of my arms.
"Maggie, are you okay! I'm so sorry, I was looking at all the stuff on the tables and I wasn't paying any attention to where I was going." I looked up into those big, dark eyes of his and I saw that he was smiling—with his eyes and everything this time. There he was, standing incredibly close to me. Our bodies were almost touching, just like that night on the beach. He stood there with his hands on my arms—looking into my eyes and smiling down at me—and neither of us saying a word for a long moment.
"That's okay," I managed to get out. "I wasn't looking where I was going either."
"Birds of a feather," he said, both of his hands squeezing my arms and then letting go. "Here, let me get this for you," he said as he knelt down and started to pick everything up. I dropped down and shoveled makeup and tissue packets into my bag—wondering why I needed to carry all this crap around with me everywhere—while Shane picked up the loose change that had scattered for three feet in every direction.
"Funny running into you again," Shane said. "I'm sorry about yesterday."
"What do you mean?" I asked, my eyes still on the ground.
"I wasn't very friendly at the restaurant. I mean, I hadn't seen you in so long and I don't know … I feel like I should have—."
"I think that's everything," I said as I stood up. Then when I looked at the genuine concern in his eyes I touched his arm. "Don't be silly. You were perfectly friendly."
"Well, if you say so," he said with that dazzling smile. "But, still, I'd like to make it up to you. Are you free for lunch?"
"Well, I …" I looked around for Janine but didn't see her anywhere. "My friend was here just a minute ago, but I don't see her now." I felt my phone vibrate and pulled it out to see a text from Janine.
* * *
GO FOR IT!
ttyl
* * *
"WELL, it looks like my friend had to leave unexpectedly, so yeah, it looks like I'm free for lunch." I smiled up at Shane. "You're sure you don't have anywhere to be?"
"Nope. I'm all yours."
We wound up back at the same restaurant where we ran into each other the day before and took our time eating and talking. At first I didn't ask too many things about his life. I didn't want to pry into his personal life or launch into an attack about the land, so I let him ask questions for a while. But the conversation eventually turned to his life after he left Kauai. It was nice hearing him talk about how nervous he was at first to be making movies with other well-known actors, and how scared he was when he walked down the red carpet for the first time. He talked about all the parties and what it was like to travel all over the world, but, after a while, he stopped. "I don't want to keep talking about myself, Maggie. I can't imagine that it
's all that interesting for you."
"No, it is. I really am interested, Shane. I've wondered many times about how you were doing since you moved away and … well … became famous. God, that sounds so terrible. Like you turned into a different person or something."
"Well, it's true in a way. That's the way it feels sometimes, like I'm a different person now—at least the way other people see me. I get treated differently now, that's for sure. I can't say that I love it, but it is what it is. I'm glad you said it that way instead of calling me a …"
"What? A movie star?"
"Yeah," he said with a laugh. "I mean, I know they're just words, but that name has always made me feel a little funny. It makes me feel even more separated from people when they call me a movie star. Like I'm from another planet or something."
"No, I know what you mean. I've never thought of people who do things in the public eye as any different than the rest of us," I smiled. "Or compared them to a ball of gas in the sky."
Shane laughed out loud at what I said. "Well, when you put it that way…" He laughed a little longer, then a serious look came over his face. "It's really great to talk to you again, Maggie. I haven't felt this comfortable talking to anyone in a long time."
"Really? How come?"
"Well, it's the classic problem that some people with a lot of money or fame have to deal with. It's probably kind of hard to understand if you've never experienced it before, though. I never know if someone wants to talk to me because they're genuinely interested in me as a person, or if they only want to be seen with me … or want something from me. Sometimes I'm talking to someone and I look into their eyes and I can tell they couldn't care less what I'm saying. They're just fixated on the fact that they're talking to a celebrity."
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