“Yeah.” Juanita swiped the back of her hand across her eyes. “I wish I could call my sister, but I can’t afford the rates they charge for cell phone service. And Ca—” She coughed to cover up her error. “Juanita has other things on her mind to worry about right now, without me whining to her about my troubles.”
Nancy reached out and patted her knee. “I’ve got three daughters. The youngest is only a little older than you. I promise, I’ve listened to my share of whining over the years. I’m used to it. And whatever it is, I expect you’ll feel a lot better once you get it out.”
Juanita knew Nancy was right. She desperately wanted to talk about what had happened with someone. She didn’t dare tell Nancy the full story—the older woman surely wouldn’t report her to immigration, but Juanita didn’t want her to get in trouble for knowing and not telling if things went wrong.
But maybe it would be enough to describe things in vague terms. “Okay. Ryan… we haven’t really known each other very long. Things were going great, but then he started saying things I’m not ready for. I probably won’t ever be, actually. And I don’t think he meant it. Not the way he’d have to mean it if I was going to consider it. I think he just feels sorry for me. And I hate it. I don’t want him to pity me. I want him to… admire me, see me as an equal, care about me. Not some lost puppy he can rescue, you know?”
Nancy nodded slowly, although Juanita could tell she hadn’t followed everything. She understood the most important part, though. “The way you care about him? You do, don’t you?”
“Yes,” Juanita whispered. “I do. Very much.”
“But he doesn’t?”
Juanita stared blindly across the table. “I thought he did. Before he started saying all that about helping me and protecting me, I was sure of it. I guess he might. I mean, it’s normal for guys to want to take care of girls they like, and protect them, and fix all their problems, right? It can be annoying, but it doesn’t necessarily mean there’s something wrong.”
Nancy had the most calming voice, quiet and warm and accepting. “What do you think?”
“I don’t know.” Juanita picked up her spoon and turned it around and around in her fingers. “I wish he hadn’t said it. I was really looking forward to… tonight.” Her cheeks warmed. “I wish I’d walked away and not heard it. Then I could have kept believing he actually wanted me.”
“You’d still have needed to deal with this issue eventually, though.”
“I guess.” Actually, they could have avoided it completely. They could have enjoyed each other’s bodies for the rest of the cruise without delving into any topic deeper than their respective sexual preferences. But Juanita couldn’t say that to Nancy, because she was pretty sure the older woman disapproved of sex outside of marriage.
Juanita didn’t, though. She would have been perfectly happy with a solely physical relationship with Ryan. It wouldn’t have bothered her to kiss him goodbye at the cruise terminal before they went their separate ways. She wouldn’t have missed him. She wouldn’t have thought about him every day. She wouldn’t have fought the temptation to call him and invite him over. She wouldn’t have wondered if they could have more. Even—maybe, eventually, someday, far in the future, when they’d been together a long time and knew each other much, much better, after lust and infatuation had had the chance to mature into something deeper and truer and longer-lasting—marriage.
Who was she trying to fool? Juanita scrunched her eyes closed to contain the welling tears. It had been too late for a casual relationship before they left Cozumel. Ryan was Ryan, not some random stranger. Something in Juanita had connected with something in him that first day, and the bond had only grown stronger since. Their current estrangement didn’t negate that. If anything, it confirmed it. She wouldn’t have reacted so strongly to his words if she didn’t care how he felt about her. She wouldn’t be miserable at the thought of losing him if she wasn’t falling in love with him.
She gulped, sniffed, scrubbed her eyes with her napkin, and turned back to Nancy. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s all right, honey.” Nancy patted her knee again.
Juanita took a deep breath. “What do you think I should do?”
Nancy held up her hand. “It’s not my place to say. It’s your life, and you have to make the decisions.” Her expression softened. “But for what it’s worth, I think you should talk with him. Tell him how you feel, and listen to what he says. It’s pretty obvious the two of you have something special. It would be a shame to give up and let it slip away without doing everything in your power to work out your problems first. At least that way, even if you fail, you’ll know you tried.”
Juanita nodded slowly. “You’re probably right.”
Nancy grinned wryly. “If I am, it’s because I learned the hard way. I wish someone had told me back when Dave and I first met. It could have saved us both a lot of heartache. Of course, I was young and stubborn and thought I knew everything, so I probably wouldn’t have listened.”
She laughed, and Juanita chucked in response. Then Nancy sobered and took her hand, squeezing it tight. “We all have to grow into love in our own way and our own time. I hope you and Ryan are ready. But even if you’re not, don’t give up. Someday, with someone, the time will be right. Happily ever after really does exist, and it’s worth whatever it takes to get there. I know, because I’m living it.”
Juanita clutched her hand and squeezed back. She felt as if she’d been drowning and Nancy had thrown her a life preserver. “Thank you.”
Nancy released her and sat back. “Go on, now. I wouldn’t want to make you late for the show.” She made a shooing motion, then picked up her fork and returned her attention to her half-finished carrot cake.
Juanita scrambled to her feet and made her way between the tables, swaying a little when the ship’s subtle motion disrupted her balance. Nancy had given her a lot to think about. She wasn’t sure what she was going to do with it. But the despair that had nearly crushed her was gone, replaced by scary, painful hope.
She arrived at the theater with plenty of time to find a good seat. She chose one of the two-person boxes along the edge of the balcony. The view was great, and it was close to where they’d sat each previous night, so Ryan would look for her in the area.
Over the next fifteen minutes the theater grew more and more crowded. Several people asked Juanita if the place next to her was available. She told them it wasn’t. She kept twisting around to scan the doors and aisles. But when the lights went down and the music started, Ryan still hadn’t appeared.
She swallowed her disappointment and tried to focus on the rousing rendition of “There’s No Business Like Show Business” unfolding on stage. Eventually the strong singing and vigorous dancing sucked her in. There was even a reasonably well-done story linking the eclectic mix of songs. When the cast transitioned into a lovely arrangement of “Oh, What a Beautiful Morning” from Oklahoma!, she settled back in the seat and gave them her full attention.
As the baritone belted the final notes, a hand fell on her shoulder, making her jump. “Excuse me,” a soft voice murmured in her ear. “Is this seat taken?”
She gave Ryan a tremulous smile and patted the cushion. “It is now.”
He settled next to her. He didn’t put his arm around her, but he scooted close enough Juanita felt the warmth of his body along her side. “Did I miss much?”
“Only a little.” Juanita pointed to the stage. “He’s a businessman who plans to tear down an abandoned theater. She’s an actress who’s trying to persuade him to renovate it and invest in her theater troupe instead, by putting on numbers from all the classic hit musicals that played there in the past.”
“Let me guess. They’re going to fall in love before it’s over.”
Juanita quirked him a smile as “Getting to Know You” from The King and I began. “It is a musical. A love story is practically a requirement.”
Ryan nodded. After a moment he said, “They don’t
always end happily, though, do they? Like the one this song’s from. Doesn’t the king die?”
“It’s bittersweet,” Juanita admitted. “But it’s still beautiful.”
He nodded. Juanita studied him for a moment, then returned her attention to the stage. They watched the show in silence.
Midway through, the female lead sang a gorgeous “Far From the Home I Love” from Fiddler on the Roof that brought tears to Juanita’s eyes and a lump to her throat. Ryan shifted and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. She leaned into him. His body felt good and right against hers. She relaxed into its solid warmth as the songs continued and the male lead gradually softened, won over by the power of love and music.
Finally, alone on the dark stage, lit by a single spotlight, he launched into “Some Enchanted Evening” from South Pacific. Shivers thrilled along Juanita’s spine. Ryan’s arm tightened around her. She felt as if he were singing the lyrics directly to her. They might have been written just for the two of them. Seeing a stranger, and somehow knowing from that first moment, beyond all reason or explanation, that you were meant for each other. That you must seize the chance and hold on tight or it would slip away forever…
The leads joined for a touching “Suddenly Seymour” from Little Shop of Horrors. Then the whole cast celebrated with an energetic medley ending in “You Can’t Stop the Beat” from Hairspray.
Juanita and Ryan joined the rest of the crowd in a standing ovation as the cast took their bows. Then the lights came up and people started moving toward the exits. Ryan reached for her hand. “What do you want to do now?”
Juanita summoned all her courage. “Let’s go somewhere quiet. I’d like to talk.”
Ryan studied her for a moment, then nodded. “The secret balcony?”
“That would be perfect.”
Neither of them said anything as they shuffled with the crowd out of the theater, rode the elevator up to the tenth floor, and walked down the corridor to the nondescript door. Outside, the night was dark and only slightly windy. The ocean stretched before them, unimaginably vast, reflecting the brilliant stars that arched overhead.
Juanita propped her forearms on the railing and lifted her face to the breeze. Beside her, Ryan looked up at the stars. Juanita followed his gaze, drinking in the spangled expanse without trying to discern any patterns. But eventually she became aware of a familiar shape directly ahead. “There’s the Big Dipper.”
“Mm-hmm. We’re heading north. Going home.”
Juanita nodded, her throat tight. For a long time neither of them said anything.
Ryan pointed to the left, at a bright dot low on the horizon. “I’m pretty sure that’s Venus. See how it shines instead of twinkling?”
Juanita studied it, seeing what he meant. “And it’s making a path across the ocean, like the moon does.” The faint but distinct streak glowed on the dark water, a straight line linking them to the planet.
“Wow. It is. That’s amazing.” The wonder in his voice was too genuine for Juanita to doubt he meant it. “It will be setting soon. We should stay here and watch until it does.”
“If you want.” They had the deck to themselves, so it would be safe to speak of private things. But they were still in public, so there was a limit to what could happen unless they both made the deliberate choice to return to their room.
Even so, they lapsed into silence again, and it was a long time before Juanita could bring herself to break it. What she needed to say might shatter the fragile accord they’d settled into. But if it went unsaid, they’d be stuck in limbo, unable to come together, unwilling to move apart. Sooner or later they’d be forced into having this discussion, probably under circumstances a lot less conducive to honesty and vulnerability than these were.
So she finally gulped and blurted it out. “Ryan, I think I overreacted to what you said this afternoon.”
He shrugged. His voice stayed carefully neutral. “You told me the truth about how you felt.”
“So did you.”
“Yes.” He kept staring at the imperceptibly sinking planet.
She knotted her hands together. “I’ve been thinking about what you suggested. Maybe… maybe it’s not as impossible as I thought.”
She plowed on over his indrawn breath. “Not marriage. Not for a very long time, at least. I won’t put you in that position. But if you really do want to keep seeing me after we get back, I might be willing to give it a try for a while.”
He turned to look at her. His voice stayed quiet and grave. “I’d like that very much.”
“Okay.” Juanita’s breath came easier. “I’m sorry I said all those things. I’m sorry I accused you of only agreeing to sleep with me out of pity. I know it’s not true. I mean, it’s been pretty obvious right from the beginning that no matter how much you wanted to help me, that’s not all there was to it.”
“Not by a long shot.” He reached hesitantly for her hands, and she wrapped her fingers around his. “You affect me in ways no other woman ever has, Juanita. It would have been the same no matter how we’d met. I want to help you, but even more I want to know you. I want to spend time with you. I want to talk with you about stars and musicals and swimming and barbecuing and a million other things. Two more days is nowhere near long enough to do everything I want us to do together. I don’t think two more months will be, either. Or even two more years.”
His words fed the yearning deep in Juanita’s heart, but at the same time they terrified her. Her voice was shaky. “Let’s just take it one day at a time. There’s no need to rush into promises we might not be able to keep. It’s enough to agree that we want to be together now. Here. Tonight.”
“I want that.” He let go of one hand to reach up and stroke her hair. “Do you?”
“Yes,” she whispered. “I do.”
He smiled at her, warm and breathless, the skin around his eyes crinkling in the way she loved so much. Then he drew her toward him, sliding one arm around her waist and the other hand to the back of her neck. She yielded to his pull, pressing her body into his, wrapping her arms around him and tilting her face up. The kiss that for a few terrible hours she’d been sure she’d never feel again touched her lips, sending pleasure lancing through her body. She opened her mouth and reached for his tongue. It met hers in a rush of powerful sensation. She turned her hands loose to roam wherever they wanted, up to his shoulders and down to his buttocks, around to his chest and over his stubbled cheeks and into his hair. He stroked her hips and belly and breasts, drawing moans of pleasure and longing from her throat.
After a long, heady time exploring each other, he wrapped her in a crushing embrace. “Let’s go to our room. Otherwise I’m going to start yanking your clothes off right here, and I don’t think either of us would like it if someone walked in on us.”
“That would be embarrassing,” she agreed. But she couldn’t quite bring herself to separate from him far enough to move, yet. She laid her head on his chest and listened to his thudding heartbeat.
Ryan’s grip on her didn’t loosen. His voice rumbled in her ear. “In a minute.”
“Mm-hmm.” Juanita closed her eyes and soaked in his warmth.
She didn’t know how long they stood there. Eventually his voice came again, softer. “Look at Venus.”
She twisted in his arms until her back was pressed against him and followed his gaze. The planet touched the line where sky and sea met, dimmer than before, its light golden. “It’s going to set any minute now.”
“I think so.” His hands slid up to cup her breasts. “We don’t have to wait if you don’t want to.”
She rubbed her butt against the hard length pressing into it. “Do you?”
It took him a moment to reply. “Um. Maybe. As long as it doesn’t take too long.”
“All right.” She let her head fall back against his chest, keeping her eyes fixed on Venus and her body pressed tight to his. She rocked her hips in a slow side-to-side rhythm, rubbing against him. He slipped his hands u
nder her shirt and caressed her nipples through the satin fabric of her bra. Need surged higher with every circle of his thumbs. She couldn’t bear to wait much longer, but at the same time she never wanted their slow, patient dance to stop.
Venus moved a fraction lower, then another. It dimmed as it descended. Both of them stilled, holding their breath. Juanita forced her eyelids to stay open, determined not to miss it.
One instant the planet was there, the next it was gone. Ryan’s indrawn breath echoed her own. The horizon stretched dark and unbroken.
Juanita rubbed her eyes. “I didn’t expect it to happen so fast. It just vanished.”
“I know.” Ryan sucked in a deep breath and blew it out. He stepped away from the rail and extended a hand to Juanita. “Let’s go.”
“I thought you’d never ask.” Juanita grabbed his hand and practically dragged him back to the door.
Juanita would have run all the way down the corridor, but when Ryan slowed, so did she. No sense in drawing attention, or waking anyone who’d already gone to bed with noisy footfalls. Besides, when they wrapped their arms around each others’ waists, their bodies rubbed against each other in delightful ways as they walked.
Ryan fumbled to slide his card into the slot. Juanita relished the way his hands were shaking and clumsy. She couldn’t doubt he was as intensely aroused as she was. He wanted her the same way she wanted him, physical and urgent and immediate. There was nothing one-sided about this. He would take as much as he gave and give as much as he took. And so would she. There would be no losers tonight, only winners.
He flipped on the light and followed her in. The door made a satisfying click as it swung closed. Juanita pulled Ryan a few steps further, out of the cramped entryway to where the room opened up, and turned to wrap her arms around his neck.
He met her kiss with fierce demand. Juanita welcomed his tongue into her mouth and thrust hers deep into his. She slid her hands under his shirt and glided them over his body. He pulled away just long enough to yank his shirt over his head, then he was back in her mouth and his fingers were groping to unbutton her blouse. She pushed his hands away and did it herself, smoother and quicker than he could. He slid it off her shoulders and she pressed her deliciously bare skin into his.
Tropical Tryst: 25 All New and Exclusive Sexy Reads Page 209