Cake (Bitterroot Saga Book 1)

by Jove Belle

  “No, Dad. I’m not. I’m not young at all. I’m thirty-two years old. I own a successful business, my own home, and I’ve been managing my own sex life since you caught me with my hand up Valerie Donahue’s shirt when I was fourteen. You had a chance then to talk to me about my leanings, and you both opted to ignore it. You treated me like the goddamned dirty little secret for this long, you don’t get to suddenly have an opinion.”

  So, maybe pissed off wasn’t her best choice. She’d learned far too long ago not to speak when she was angry. She said nasty, awful things that she really didn’t mean, with no way to take it back. Except this time, she might have meant it. A little bit. She needed to calm down, before she said something to make it even worse.

  “She’s been arrested!” Her father flipped over the picture and pulled out a copy of a police report. She recognized her brother’s name, along with Elana’s.

  “I know. She told me about it.”

  “You knew who she was and you still…did…that?” Her mom wore the same appalled look she did when her dad used to slip off his shoes under the table as they were eating dinner, only this time, it was as if she smelled a thousand sweaty feet instead of just two.

  The fight drained out of Kelly as quickly as it came upon her. Her parents didn’t like that she was a lesbian. That wasn’t news. Getting pissed because her mom actually said it only distracted from the crux of the issue. Elana was Brianna’s ex-girlfriend. Family loyalty should have placed her clearly on the do not touch list. And Kelly had touched. She hoped to God her parents didn’t know how much she’d touched and enjoyed being touched in return.

  “Yeah, Mom, I knew,” she said quietly. She owed them, David especially, some sort of explanation, no matter how much she disliked it.

  “Kelly-nugget,” her dad said, shaking his head slowly, “what in the world were you thinking?” He patted her knee. That, combined with the use of her childhood nickname, meant he forgave her outburst. He was always quick to let things go when it didn’t serve his goal to hold on to them.

  What had she been thinking? She’d thought Elana was hot. And then she thought she was vulnerable. And then, completely without her permission, something in Elana spoke to her, reaching inside her heart in a way that no other woman before her had. It was too soon, and the potential for disaster too high, for her to give it much weight. But it was there. She felt it with every pull of breath into her lungs. Elana called out to her, and Kelly doubted she was strong enough to resist.

  “I just…” Kelly shook her head and held her hands out, palms up in the universal “I don’t know” sign. “I just like her. Okay?”

  “You like her?” Her mom said the words carefully, as if afraid of setting Kelly off on another fit of temper. “Couldn’t you…I don’t know…like someone else?”

  Kelly laughed humorlessly. Only her mother would ask a question like that.

  “It’s a valid question, Nugget. What makes her so special?”

  Okay, her mother and her father. No one else on the planet would consider that to be a rational question.

  “You two realize that you sound insane, right?” Kelly said, but there was no fight in the words. They were all settling into their roles as adults now that the initial emotions were out there. She looked at them both pointedly, but neither seemed prepared to retract the question, so she tried to find the words. “I don’t know. She just is. I’m not promising that she’s the one, but I’m saying that I like her. And that hasn’t happened for me in a really long time. And, for what it’s worth, she likes me, too.”

  “But how do you know that?”

  “She ran over your brother’s mailbox. Twice!”

  Her parents spoke at the same time. Their words got tangled together, but Kelly understood the basic meaning. She focused on her mom. “I’m pretty sure she won’t run over mine.” Then she turned to her dad. “How did you know that mom was special? Could you have explained it to your parents if they asked you to?”

  “This is different. You know it is.”

  She nodded. She may not want to admit it, but denial wouldn’t change the truth. It was definitely different. “Yeah, I know. And I’m sorry.”

  “Are you planning to see her again?” Her mom brushed her fingers over Kelly’s arm, smoothing away an invisible wrinkle like she used to do when Kelly was a teenager and her mom didn’t know how to hug her anymore.

  “I don’t know, possibly. Probably. Yes.” Kelly tried sidestepping by saying she didn’t know, but the words felt wrong in her mouth. And when she said “yes,” the weight in her chest gave way to the most delightful lightness. “I hope so.”

  “You know this is a bad idea.”

  She nodded. There was no point in saying anything else. Bad or good, smart or dumb, right or wrong, it didn’t change what she new to be the truth. If Elana was willing, so was she.

  CHAPTER 12

  Kelly added the flour to her Hobart mixer, allowing it to drift in a slow line from the measuring container into the hopper. This time of year, orders for wedding cakes tripled. The increase meant she couldn’t manage with her regular staff, so she brought in students from the local community college. They had a decent culinary program. Not world class, but decent.

  Still, she was busy enough that she hadn’t had time to confront the Elana situation. Her parents had given her the emotional equivalent of an ultimatum. They hadn’t used those words, of course. But the message was clear. She could spend time with her family. Or she could spend time with Elana. But not both.

  It was shitty, but there wasn’t anything she could do about it while baking a cake. So, she opted for denial and avoidance. As strategies went, it wouldn’t work forever, but for now, it was a solid approach.

  “Kelly.” Amber, her full-time assistant and all-around cool chick, cupped her hand over the phone receiver. “This woman wants to talk about a booking for next week. Can you take it?”

  Amber generally handled client calls with ease. If she needed to hand this off to Kelly, it was more than just a casual request to substitute sugar cookies for cupcakes. She dusted the flour off her hands and glanced at the timer. The Hobart was set to mix for another four minutes. “Sure. Listen for the beep?” She took the phone. “This is Kelly. Amber tells me you have some questions. How can I help?”

  “You can help by telling me what you’re wearing,” Elana said, her voice pitched low and sultry.

  Kelly moved into her office and closed the door. “Elana?”

  Rather than following up with another request about what Kelly had on, Elana laughed. “I’m so glad you recognized my voice. Otherwise, this would be really awkward.”

  Kelly settled into her office chair and rolled herself into the only corner that wasn’t visible through the window in the door. “Did you really call to find out what I’m wearing? Because I’ll tell you, but I’m afraid you’ll be disappointed by the answer.”

  “Disappointed? Not a chance. I’ve seen what you have under those clothes.”

  Kelly’s face flushed with heat, and she was thankful that she’d moved out of view from the kitchen. “Mmm, that goes both ways. Maybe you should tell me what you’re wearing.”

  Elana laughed softly and they drifted into comfortable quiet. After a moment of listening to each other breathe as if they were teenagers, Elana said, “Is it weird for me to say I miss you?”

  Weird wasn’t the word Kelly would use. Perhaps it was too soon, but it made sense to her. If Elana felt even a fraction of the intensity that Kelly felt toward her, then it was understandable. “Weird? Not really. Dangerous, maybe.”

  “Dangerous?” Elana asked cautiously.

  “We’re not supposed to like one another.”

  “Oh, right. I forgot. I’m off limits for you, is that it?”

  Kelly flicked a piece of stray fuzz from her pant leg. It sounded very junior high when Elana said it, as though she was breaking a social rule by dating her best friend’s ex. Except this wasn’t junior high and th
ere was much more at stake. “Something like that.”

  “Did something happen?”

  “My parents.” Kelly sighed. She didn’t want to rehash that conversation. It’d been unpleasant enough the first time around.

  “Did they give you a hard time?”

  Kelly chuckled. “My dad brought home a copy of your arrest report.”

  “No!” Elana sounded genuinely upset. “Where the hell did he get that?”

  “He didn’t say, but he’s friends with the chief of police, so…”

  “Oh God. Did you read it?”

  “No. He was going for shock value. It lost its oomph when I told him I already knew. Apparently, you’re supposed to treat it like a deep, dark secret.”

  Elana groaned. “Do they hate me?”

  Hate probably wasn’t the right word. Although, her mom had mentioned taking out a restraining order. “They’re not starting a fan club anytime soon.”

  “What did you tell them?” Elana asked, her voice a timid counterpoint to her earlier confidence.

  Kelly took a deep, cleansing breath. “Well, I didn’t tell them the part about you fucking me in the storage room at the reception.”

  “What? That was the best part!” Elana laughed.

  “The best?” Kelly wasn’t able to pick one.

  “Okay, one of.”

  “That’s better.”

  The timer dinged. Kelly sighed. Work called, but she wasn’t ready to say goodbye yet.

  “I like you, Kelly.”

  “I like you, too. More than I probably should.” Kelly moved the chair back to the desk and looked out the window. Amber was scraping the sides of the Hobart bowl with a spatula. Kelly needed to get back to work.

  “That’s good, because I really like fucking you, too. I’d be sad if I never got to do that again.”

  Kelly sputtered. Of all the things Elana could have said, Kelly definitely didn’t expect that. Still, she rolled with it. “Yes, that would be a tragedy.”

  “So, come see me.”

  Kelly held her breath. “When?”

  “This weekend? Saturday, maybe.”

  Kelly reviewed her schedule in her mind. She’d finish up her deliveries early that morning, and was free for the rest of the day. She hummed. “Mmm…I might be able to do that.”

  “Might?”

  “I have to work in the morning.”

  “Come after.”

  Kelly nodded. At thirty-two, she should be capable of dating a woman without her parents’ approval. But, because she was thirty-two, she knew how much difference that approval would make if things between her and Elana became serious. “I’ll try.”

  She ended the call, feeling like a fraud for saying she’d try when she knew full well if she had to try to do anything, it would be to not go.

  * * *

  “Who was that? Your girlfriend?” One of her students—Charlie, maybe?—walked into the room, followed by a steady stream of other inmates.

  Elana stuffed her phone into her pocket. “Nunya.” It was a completely immature response, but she was only twenty-eight. She could get away with acting like a kid for at least two more years. Then she would have to trade in her sense of humor for a pair of grown-up pants.

  “Ah, don’t be like that. We know you’re family.” Liz approached her desk. “So, did you talk to the warden, like you said?”

  It took a moment for Elana to realize what Liz was talking about. It seemed like forever had passed since her last session at the prison when Liz had asked her about her job as a life coach. “I did. She said we can do some group exercises.”

  “That’s great.” Liz pulled her hair around to the front and started folding it into a loose braid. “I’m nervous about getting out, you know? I don’t want to fuck it up and end up back here.”

  “Why would you?” Elana grew up in a world where people commanded their own fates. Her parents taught her to fight for what she wanted, to work hard, and to never give up. With dedication and focus, she’d eventually get where she wanted to go. Of course, that all went a little haywire when she plowed over David’s mailbox and ended up with community service in this place.

  “Because,” Liz shifted restlessly, “it’s hard out there. I don’t know anybody who isn’t either in jail or on their way here.”

  “For real?” Elana took Liz seriously for the first time since meeting her. That was a heavy thought. “What about your parents?”

  “My dad’s gone…dead…missing…locked up… I don’t know. And my mom’s in here with me.”

  “Okay, so we need to get a plan in place for you.” Elana stood and stepped to the center of the room to begin the class. “How about the rest of you? Anyone else worried about what life will be like on the outside?”

  A cluster of hands went up, and Elana forgot about her almost-date with Kelly for the coming weekend.

  CHAPTER 13

  The tulips were in full bloom, lining the front of Elana’s house with vibrant reds and yellows. It’d been two weeks since the wedding, and two weeks since Kelly had seen Elana. Two weeks of texting, late night phone calls, and one unexpected, intense session of phone sex, a first for Kelly. She’d come so hard to the sound of Elana’s low voice in her ear, she was sure her neighbors had heard her.

  Last Saturday, Kelly had been tied up at work until late. Elana had said she should come anyway, but Kelly was tired and cranky and didn’t want to take it out on anyone else, especially not Elana. The further she got away from the wedding, the more she questioned what she was doing. Sure, Elana made her blood boil in a very good way, but she upset every other part of her life. It wasn’t smart for her to be here, staring at Elana’s house, contemplating going inside.

  She sat in her vehicle, engine idling, and stared at Elana’s front door. When Elana had asked, her voice hesitant and stilted, if she’d come over today, Kelly had put off answering. There was a part of her—a very large part—that jumped up and sat at attention at the invitation. That part of her wanted to charge headlong into an affair with Elana, consequences be damned. But the other part, the part that loved and was loyal to her family, held her back. Her relationship with them was strained during the very best times. Kelly seeing Elana again might break them apart completely.

  Still, here she was. When she woke that morning, she went through her routine as usual—gym, shower, bookwork for her business…normal Saturday stuff. At some point, roughly between reviewing her work schedule for the next week and completing an inventory of ingredients, Elana texted her. Almost as if under the thrall of the lesbian version of the pied piper, she ended up in her car and, without stopping long enough to think about what she was doing, drove the two hours to Elana’s house.

  The front door opened and Elana stepped out onto her porch. She stood with her hands on her hips, head tilted to the side, and stared thoughtfully at Kelly. She gave her a small smile, then made her way to the passenger side with careful, measured steps. Kelly disengaged the lock, and Elana climbed inside.

  “Hi,” Elana said as she gently picked up Kelly’s hand from the console and laced their fingers together.

  Kelly closed her eyes and let herself enjoy the feel of Elana’s palm against her own. After a moment, she opened them again and turned to face her. “Hi.”

  Elana brushed the back of her fingers against Kelly’s cheek, then cupped the side of her neck and leaned in to kiss her softly on the mouth. “You came.”

  Kelly nodded. “I did.” She didn’t want to talk about it, even though they really should have, so she pulled Elana into another, deeper kiss. Elana’s lips were soft, yielding, and insistent at the same time. It was a heady combination that made Kelly forget everything, all of the reasons this was a bad idea, and she surrendered to the simple beauty of kissing Elana.

  Before Kelly was ready, Elana pulled away. With one hand on Kelly’s chest, keeping her from pressing forward, Elana said, “Were you planning to come in?”

  Kelly sat back in her seat. “I w
asn’t planning on any of this.”

  Elana smiled, her eyes soft and a little sad, and opened her door. She exited the Escalade, walked around to Kelly’s side, opened the door, and held out her hand. “Come on.”

  Just like that, the decision was made. Kelly loved her family, loved her brother, but she couldn’t say no to Elana when she looked at her like that, as if the balance of the world rested on whether or not she took the hand being offered to her. She took it and followed Elana into the house.

  “So, what do you have planned for us?”

  “Not much. I thought we could watch a movie or something simple like that.”

  The thought of curling up on the couch together, their hands touching as they ate popcorn out of the same bowl, gave Kelly a warm, melted-marshmallow feeling in the pit of her stomach. Kelly shook her head to clear that thought. Generally, her fantasies about other women, Elana especially, didn’t feel like they’d gone through a strainer titled Martha Stewart’s Guide to Domestic Bliss. Still, the idea didn’t suck. “Sounds good.”

  Elana led her into the house. This time, since she wasn’t on a quest for the bedroom, she took a moment to appreciate her surroundings. “This is nice.”

  “Thanks.” Elana pulled her into a one-arm hug and kissed her lightly on the lips. “You want to pick the movie? I’ll grab us some drinks. Beer okay?”

  She nodded absently, already distracted by Elana’s movie collection. She had an entire bookcase devoted to TV series that included a bunch of stuff Kelly hadn’t heard of. She moved to the next case, which seemed to be devoted to action movies featuring women. She settled on Cat Run. She hadn’t heard of it before, either, but according to the cover, part of it was in Serbian. That was a first for her.

  She set the case on the coffee table and settled on the sofa. Elana’s house had a warm, emotional resonance. It smelled of rich, dark coffee, with an underscore of something earthy. Sage, maybe. Being here filled her with a sense of ease, a calmness she hadn’t been able to find since talking with her parents almost two weeks ago. This place, surrounded by all things Elana, just felt right.