Used

by Bijou Hunter

  Mike studies me then his hands. Finally, he looks at me really hard. “You promise you love my daughter and will help her raise that baby? If I leave here and you bail, I won’t be around forever to help her out in a new place. Here, she doesn’t have much, but she has something. The club will give her money for the baby. It won’t be a great life, but she won’t be alone. I need you to promise you won’t throw a fit again and run off on her.”

  “I swear it,” I say, taking his hand and shaking it. “She’s mine and so is the kid. I’m not letting the club take anything else from me again. They’re mine and I protect what’s mine.”

  Mike leans back and looks a little defeated. “I guess I’m moving to Wyoming. Yee haw.”

  “I don’t think there are many cowboys there.”

  “Well, I guess we’ll find out. Sydney’s at the doctor’s office, getting an ultrasound to show Johnny. Better catch her before she sees him.”

  Bolting out of the booth, I forget about the six shots of whiskey I downed. I just want to get to Sydney before she does something we can’t undo. The first few blocks, I drive like a madman then I remember I’ll be a dad soon. A man with responsibilities probably shouldn’t run red lights.

  When I arrive, Sydney is sitting at the bus stop and looking at what I guess is the ultrasound picture. I park at the curb and hurry to join her. The alcohol doesn’t seem to bother me until I try to rush to her and nearly trip over the curb.

  She laughs at me stumbling. I grunt with irritation which only makes her laugh harder. Suddenly, she remembers the last day and her smile fades.

  “I fucked up,” I say as a greeting.

  “The first step is a doozy,” she says, looking sad now.

  Giving a glare to a dirty fucker lingering nearby, I sit next to Sydney on the bench.

  “I fucked up,” I say again like these three words explain everything.

  Sydney smoothes my hair behind my ear. “You’re drunk.”

  “No. I’ve been drinking, but I’m not drunk.”

  “You smell drunk.”

  “I burped a lot on the way over.”

  Sydney smiles despite her sadness. I nudge her then scoot closer.

  “You knew I was an asshole when you fell for me. You can’t be surprised that I would freak out. In fact, you were hoping I would, so I’d leave town. Well, you’re half right, Syd.”

  “Despite your eloquence, I don’t understand what the hell you’re talking about.”

  Glancing around, I take a deep breath and decide to trust her like I don’t trust anyone.

  “You, me, the baby, and your dad are flipping this place off and starting over in Wyoming.”

  “My dad?”

  “I guilted him into coming. He loves you and he’ll do what’s right and leaving is the right thing.”

  Sydney bites at her lip then glances around. We both feel exposed, but I need her to understand. While I’d like to take her back to the trailer, I’m not sure it’s safe for me to drive.

  “The baby’s a girl,” Sydney says, showing me an ultrasound picture.

  Even unable to tell what the hell I’m looking at, I smile. “She deserves to grow up in a place where people don’t think her mom is a whore. I want her to see you the way I do.”

  Taking my keys, Sydney looks at the Harley and I realize she’s planning to drive us home.

  “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I just wanted you to be safe,” Sydney whispers. “I’m not playing you.”

  “Oh, I knew I had you hooked too. You never hid your obsession with me very well.”

  Sydney smiles and lifts her lips. I don’t need more of an invitation. Stealing her breath, I want to own every inch of her, inside and out. I wish to be the only man she remembers. I need Sydney and life owes me this one pleasure.

  Chapter Twenty Two

  Sydney

  Loving Everything about You

  Everyone’s shitting themselves over Wendi’s upcoming birthday. I don’t get the big deal. She’s turning twenty five which isn’t a momentous birthday in my opinion. Of course, I didn’t make a big deal out of my sixteenth or eighteenth birthdays. I doubt my twenty first will be much better.

  Then again, I have Bo now. A baby on the way too. Yeah, this birthday will be the best, but I still don’t get why the club is freaking out over Wendi turning twenty five.

  “She’s a stuck up bitch,” Bo says when I mention her while placing our dinner on the table. “World revolves around Princess Wendi.”

  “You hide your hatred well.”

  Bo grins at me like his life is the easiest fucking thing in the world. “Who cares what they do?”

  Dad shuffles into the room, exhausted after packing for our impending escape. Only a few days stand between us and Wyoming. I already have most of my stuff in the same suitcase I used when Dad and I arrived in the Grove.

  “They’re making a big deal because morale is low,” Dad says sitting at the table. “Something’s wrong. I saw a couple Gutters at the liquor store today and they had a vibe about them. Edgy like they thought they were being followed.”

  “Cal said another club was coming here to get payback,” Bo mutters, digging into the cheesy chicken casserole I made. “The Gutters probably know their time is up. Or maybe the Feds or Georgia cops are closing in? Johnny and Snake don’t do much to hide how they control the town. All the drugs flowing easily through this area is bound to have caught a government type’s eye.”

  Sighing, I sound sadder than I feel. “Good thing we’re leaving then.”

  Bo caresses my lips then focuses on the food. “I love how you cook.”

  Grinning now, I roll my eyes. Bo never says he loves me, but he keeps saying he loves my hair or my fat feet or my burps. Eventually, he’ll say the words, but I won’t say them first. I know he’ll feel pressured, so I just tell him how much I love his smile and his kisses and the noises he makes when he comes. We are working our way to the big moment.

  The next morning, Bo gets close as he tells me goodbye.

  “I love everything about you,” he says then squeezes my ass to ensure the moment doesn’t get too serious.

  My hands find the curve of his ass cheeks. “I love everything about you too.”

  “Of course, you do.”

  We laugh, keeping the moment light. It’ll be easier to get serious once the Grove is behind us. He’ll no longer be a Gutter and I’ll no longer be a club whore. As soon as we start over as Bo and Sydney, those words will be a hell of a lot easier to say.

  Chapter Twenty Three

  Bo

  Shit Blast from the Past

  I’ve been back in the Grove for weeks without seeing Wendi. With the upcoming weekend party at Johnny’s place, her name is on everyone’s lips. I remember how when I left prison, her name sent me into a rage. Back then, I blamed her because it was safer than blaming Johnny or Snake. Hell, blaming her was easier than blaming myself for being a sap.

  Now, I have Sydney. All of my rage from the past is dulled when I know she waits for me at the trailer. Once we leave the Grove, we’ll build a new life in a place where no one knows our histories. Our baby will grow up with me as her dad rather than a fucker like Kelly. With that future awaiting me, Wendi is a vague memory. Besides, she doesn’t live in town, so I never worried about running into her.

  Except she’s now standing in front of me.

  I nearly skipped my visit to the deli to buy donuts for the next day’s breakfast. If I had, I’d have dodged the bitch. Fate isn’t on my side.

  “Hey, Bo,” she says in that sexy way she says everything.

  “Wendi.”

  She’s snaps her gum and I struggle not to show my irritation.

  “You’re not still holding a grudge, are you?” she asks. “I mean I would have waited for you, but Dad said I had to marry the VP of another club. I had no choice.”

  “Fair enough.”

  She runs her finger down the front of my shirt and my skin crawls at her touch. “Are
you coming to my party?”

  “Of course.”

  “You bringing that club whore?”

  “Depends on what kind of chicks will be at the party? I don’t want to get there and need a release and have to use my hand.”

  Wendi laughs in a super fake, slightly unhinged way. I notice as she covers her mouth that her wrist is scarred. I don’t know if she cut herself or Mister Club VP did. I just know Sydney wasn’t wrong about the life Wendi leads. I see the girl I’ve hated all these years and understand her situation for the first time. I know what it’s like to be under her father’s boot, worrying over my every fart so I don’t end up dead in a ditch. Wendi might not die for crossing her dad, but she’ll suffer. Maybe even a punishment worse than death.

  “I’ll see you at the party,” I lie, turning to get my donuts.

  Wendi doesn’t say anything until I’m walking outside. “I didn’t think you’d do six years.”

  After setting the bag of donuts into the storage compartment on the Harley, I climb on. “Shit happens, Wendi. Don’t stress it.”

  Her gray eyes once seemed too beautiful, but I find them average now. Nothing about her screams perfection anymore. I even find myself feeling bad that her house painter boyfriend ended up dead. As I drive away and realize Sydney’s made me a softie, I can’t help smiling.

  Chapter Twenty Four

  Sydney

  Everything has a Beginning and an End

  The baby’s movements feel like butterflies in my stomach. I read on the internet how one day the kicks might hurt. For now, I enjoy each time my little girl dances around inside me.

  Waiting for Bo and Dad to return, Romeo and I lounge in the bedroom. My thoughts return to how hard Bo laughed when the cat fell off the dresser that morning. He finds Romeo endlessly entertaining and gives commentary at night when the cat does his lame hunting moves.

  Romeo isn’t thinking about Bo. He’s daydreaming about getting outside and killing everything he hunts in his mind. I’m ready to be free of the trailer too. Tomorrow, I’ll make the dream a reality.

  When the cat turns his attention to the front of the trailer, I listen for signs Bo is back from his Johnny errands. Dad is at the doctor for the next few hours, getting his final appointments done before we leave.

  Lifting my head, I struggle to hear past the Randy Travis song I have playing. Finally, I’m sure there’s movement in the kitchen.

  I walk out of the bedroom to find the last fucking person anyone wants to see these days.

  “Where are your pictures?” Kelly asks, staring at the table where our photos usually rest.

  Lying quickly, I say, “The cat knocked them down, so I put them away.”

  “Want me to fix that cat of yours?”

  The butterflies of the baby’s movements are replaced by cold fear. “He just gets scared in thunderstorms,” I say, walking past Kelly into the kitchen.

  Kelly follows me. “You aren’t free,” he mutters. “Being a guy’s favorite don’t mean shit to me.”

  I force my gaze to meet his. “Why are you upset?”

  “Where’s Cal?”

  I shake my head. “I don’t know. He hasn’t come around since Bo got out. They don’t get along.”

  “Cal’s hiding from me.”

  Kelly wants me to ask why. Though Bo told me what Cal saw with the VP’s daughter, I fake dumb as usual around these fuckers.

  “Do you want me to make you a sandwich?”

  Kelly leans down and whispers, “I’m going to fuck you. When Bo comes back to your shitty trailer, I’m going to keep fucking you. He’s free to join in and we’ll tear you open. You like that idea, Syd?”

  Wanting to run, I know I won’t get far before he catches me. Wanting to scream, I’ve seen what he does to girls who cry for help. If Kelly gets me into bed, I won’t survive. He’s in that kind of mood and I’m about to pay for his past sins.

  “I’m pregnant,” I say as a last ditch effort to stay out of the bedroom. “Four months, so it’s not Bo’s.”

  A smirking Kelly slides both hands into my hair then lifts me up until I’m on my tiptoes. “I already got enough kids.”

  “Kelly, don’t.”

  “Everything has a beginning and an end. Don’t think me ending your life makes you special.”

  I’ve always wondered what the girls did to set off Kelly. Did they laugh at his dick or not laugh at his jokes? Were they insufficiently impressed by his lazy fucking skills? Did they breathe wrong and he decided they should stop breathing altogether?

  Now, I realize Kelly wakes up wanting to kill someone. With Cal in hiding, I’m the unlucky recipient of the psycho’s blood lust today.

  He yanks me off the ground and shakes me by my hair. I reflexively cover my stomach as he tosses me out of the kitchen and against a small side table my mom bought at a flea market. I crash against the table then fall onto the floor. An old lamp shatters under me, leaving a chunk of ceramic in my bare thigh.

  Kelly walks casually towards me and shakes out his shoulders. My whole body hurts and I can barely focus until I think of my baby’s life. Settling my fear, I wipe blood from my nose then dig the ceramic piece from my flesh.

  “I could have done time,” Kelly says, looming over me. “I wasn’t scared of going to prison, but I have a life to lead. Your boyfriend was an easy chump. He had nothing going on. No reason to be free. He’s a loser. You know that, right?”

  Numb now, I show no reaction as I stare into his cold eyes. All of my options feel wrong. I need my daughter to live. I can’t let my father return to find me beaten to death by this fucker. Finally, I know Johnny will make Bo take the fall for my murder. Everything is about to be ruined and I only see one way out.

  Kelly drags me to my feet with the ease of a man twice my size. I don’t even try to fight him. I just think of him free for six years while Bo remained locked away. Kelly has destroyed enough lives.

  Tearing open my shirt and ripping my bra, he squeezes my left nipple. Disgusted by his touch, I shove the bloody piece of ceramic into his throat. Kelly doesn’t react and I think he’s indestructible. In my fuzzy mind, I see him as a demon bent on destruction and incapable of dying.

  Kelly yanks out the ceramic piece like it’s nothing. Our eyes meet and he grins like I’m a fucking idiot. His smile fades when his blood splashes across my face.

  “Fuck,” he mutters, covering the gushing wound. “Fuck.”

  When I run for the door, he grabs for me and I end up on my knees. Crawling now, I don’t go for the door because he’s expecting that. I make my way for Dad’s bedroom. The lock isn’t strong, but it might slow him down.

  Kelly’s blood loss slows him down even faster. As I reach the doorway, I glance back to find him fumbling with his phone while pressing a hand over the wound.

  “Bitch,” he mutters, sounding scared.

  We both hear a Harley arrive and our eyes meet. If fate’s on my side, Bo will enter and finish off the fucker. If Kelly’s good fortunes continue, my life will end and Bo’s suffering will only be beginning.

  Chapter Twenty Five

  Bo

  Speechless

  Cal is already on the run. After Johnny asks earlier about him, I call my brother twice. I’m careful not to leave a detailed message. I don’t know why Cal is already hiding. Or if the club will catch him then come looking for me because I know his big secret. Whatever is happening, I need to get Sydney and Mike out of the Grove earlier than planned.

  Riding home, I let my mind wander to Sydney and our new life in Wyoming. From a throwaway phone, I called Teddy to see if his job offer was still good. He not only sounded happy to hear from me, but excited about me taking the job. I hadn’t been sure what to expect, figuring he might blow me off now that he was free. Something about how open Teddy is to my request makes me wonder if other people are as nice in Simpson, Wyoming. The Grove feels unwelcoming these days and I want my kid growing up in a good place like I did.

  So f
ocused on my future, I barely register the Harley parked in front of the trailer. Seeing them everywhere in the Grove, I never think anything of it. This is my home with Sydney though and the club has no right to touch her ever again.

  My bike barely comes to a stop before I’m off it and running to the trailer. My whole body readies for violence because I’m sure the Harley parked outside belongs to Kelly. Throwing open the screen door, I’m right about the owner, but I wasn’t expecting the scene awaiting me.

  On his knees, Kelly holds a phone in one hand while his other hand presses against his bleeding neck. He’s deathly pale and covered in blood. Panicking at the sight of him, I know his death will bring hell down on Sydney, Mike, and me.

  Once I see Sydney bleeding on the ground near Mike’s room, I lose the ability to think past this very moment. Never have I felt such rage as when I lunge for Kelly. As my anger takes over, I hear Sydney’s voice. She’s not yelling or even crying. Her voice is soft and comforting, but I ignore it.

  Kicking Kelly onto his back, I see his hand struggling to stop the bleeding. I wish I could say I think of all the people he’s killed and I’m giving them vengeance. My anger isn’t about the greater good though.

  Kelly hurt the one I love and he needs to die now. Nothing more complicated than that.

  My boot stomps down on his hand holding his neck. In one violent kick, I break his fingers and tear open the wound. Kelly bellows in pain until my boot finds his face. I hear him choking on teeth, but my gaze is focused on the gushing wound. By the time I look back at his face, I find his eyes open and empty.

  Killing someone who deserves to die doesn’t make the kill feel any better. I’m not like this piece of shit and stealing away a life doesn’t make me a man. Killing him leaves me feeling tired and emptied out. The world is fucked up and ugly. I don’t know when everything turned to shit, but I see nothing past the horror of what the Grove has become.