Fur Magic Boxed Set: Talisman, Sage, Fawn, Lola: Paranormal Romantic Comedy

by Colleen Charles

  “It’s okay,” Luke replied, “I’ll help you find her. But first we have to get this sorted out. Are you okay with that?”

  Penelope nodded, and the tension eased from her shoulders. Just a few words from Dr. Luke and she was okay. So much for all those purrs and rubs I’d given her. All that kitty support meant nothing, apparently. There was just no pleasing this woman.

  Don’t be a sour puss.

  Did I ask for your opinion, Mr. I Love Cloaca’s?

  Too far, cat patooty, too far. I think I spy a dingleberry hanging from your posterior fur.

  Dr. Luke stepped away from Penelope, casting a glance back at her to check she’d be okay. She gave him a nod of encouragement. I walked over to her and sat beside her right ankle to enjoy the rest of the show.

  All I need now is some popcorn. Sprinkled with coffee grounds.

  “That’s enough!” Luke said, in a clear commanding tone. “You’re making a spectacle of yourselves.”

  “He – started – it,” Elias Stout managed.

  “No, you did, when you decided to kidnap Amelia.” Eldris wriggled the man’s head around. At least Eldris wasn’t stammering like some kind of handicapped parrot.

  Can it truly be called kidnapping when she’s over twenty?

  That’s what you’re focused on right now, Sage?

  I’m just saying, if you’re going to accuse someone of something, do it right. I think he belongs on the registered sex-offender listing of Arizona.

  I rolled my eyes.

  A siren whooped once, and a member of the local police department puttered around the corner in a cruiser. The flashing lights had a profound effect on both sweaty, red-faced brawlers. Where were cell phone armed teenagers when you needed them?

  Viral anyone?

  Eldris and Elias popped apart and straightened their clothes, casting threatening looks at each other, then simpering ones at the officer, emerging from the car. Dr. Luke nodded to himself, and walked back to Penelope.

  “It looks like the cavalry has arrived. I’m going to stay here for a couple minutes and give a statement. Will you be fine until then? I’ll walk you home afterwards and we can talk all about it.”

  “Yes, thank you, Luke,” Penelope breathed. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

  She waited for him to head back to the center of the disturbance – a crowd had gathered and everything – then set off back toward the house.

  Uh oh. Here we go again. Looks like Penelope wants to take matters into her own hands, after all. What kind of a wife is she going to be? She should take a cue from Lola. Compliment your man and follow his lead. Good grief.

  That is one item on which we agree. I’ve got the aerial view. Sage took off and swirled around in the air above our heads, circling and swooping along to keep track of our beloved Pen.

  Pen balled her hands into fists and marched along with her nose poking out. A determined walk. Her ‘I’m up to no good’ walk. The walk of another life lost for me. Whatever emotion the fight had brought out in her, sadly, it could lead to only one outcome.

  Damn.

  Chapter 6

  Penelope meandered down the pathway, wrapping her open cardigan around her chest. It was one of those flowy, long-sleeved things she preferred, which didn’t provide much warmth. She resembled a hippie at a desert festival.

  What did the Deadhead say when he ran out of weed?

  Man, this music sucks.

  Bada bing.

  Fashion was beyond my scope of comprehension. Clothes were clothes. I didn’t understand the human obsession with them. But that was probably because I looked fabulous all the time.

  Modest much? Sage flapped overhead, unbeknownst to our mistress, who had her head down against the cold wind. Why was it so cold all of sudden?

  Hey, when you’ve got it, flaunt it.

  Sage didn’t bother replying.

  I focused on Penelope and trotted up alongside her. I stroked against her leg, trying and failing to get her attention. She was officially spiraling in the toilet bowl of helplessness toward the suction of depression.

  If I didn’t get her to snap out of this, and realize that there was work to be done, she’d lose Amelia and her powers as well. Hell, maybe even her life.

  But what was Chokecherry up to? Why had she summoned Pen out to the mansion? The last thing we needed was her to go rushing in there to save Amelia. No, the quiet approach, like Papa DeLacroix had advised, was the way to go.

  I bumped Penelope this time.

  Where does she think she’s going? Sage’s question was an echo of my own.

  I have no idea, but this isn’t the way home. This was the path to the forest. Maybe she thought she’d find my hunky human form waiting for her.

  “I won’t let this happen,” Penelope murmured.

  I looked at her face for the first time since Dr. Luke’s office, and blinked. She didn’t look depressed. She looked angry, and determined. Now, that back bent, eyes forward thing was anything but sad.

  I quit bumping her and followed along. No doubt, dearest Penelope would need saving before the end of the day. What was new?

  The crunch of Penelope’s flat-soled pumps on the rock and debris on the sidewalk was our soundtrack. The forest was close, and out here, where the highway started and the sidewalk became grass that flattened out to blacktop, dust and grit was a constant.

  I picked over it and hurried along.

  Penelope picked up the pace, charging toward the spot I’d taken her to when I was in human form.

  Uh oh. What if Chokecherry’s close?

  Do a sweep of the forest, birdbrain. Report back.

  You take me for granted, I hope you know. But Sage peeled off and flew to the left, over the tops of the trees and toward the mystical – make that evil – clearing where Bianca had done that voodoo that she did so well.

  Do it your way, Sage.

  Whatever you say, Sinatra.

  And then he was gone, disguised by the treetops or hiding in the canopy. Penelope folded her arms and stopped exactly where we’d been the day before. She glared into the forest.

  “I know you’re in there,” she said.

  Whatever conclusions my mistress had come to were likely twisted and completely wrong.

  “You’d better come out and explain all of this. I know you’re working with the Chokecherry family.” Penelope grated the words out. She was clearly unimpressed by my human form’s constant interference.

  “Well, I wouldn’t say working with them,” a man said, “but I do live with them. I’m planning on moving out soon, though.”

  Penelope’s eyes widened and she turned. I went with her.

  Damien Chokecherry stepped out from beneath a stand of nearby trees, wearing that shit-eating grin. My fur stood on end and I had to restrain myself from hissing at the creepazoid. The enemy. The hunter.

  I pressed myself against Penelope’s ankle and she looked down at me, then back up at Damien. Her eyes narrowed. She knew Damien was a cruel asshole, or at least she suspected it. Part of the reason she’d never allowed a Chokecherry to adopt a pet. It might end up in his hands. Snapped in half.

  She could’ve let him have Casper. He’d give Damien a run for his money. He could parkour all over that douche bag’s head. Sage’s thought was crystal clear. He was close.

  Casper would end up as his dinner. Goat stew. This guy…

  I know. Sage did know. Damien had taken shots at him before. The clearing is, well, clear, by the way. I didn’t see this poaching ass face until it was too late.

  Penelope lifted me from the ground and tucked me against her chest as my fur stood on end like I’d tipped my tail into an electrical outlet. I couldn’t summon a purr. I was rigid with anger at the sight of a Chokecherry near my mistress.

  “What are you doing here?” Penelope asked, and her voice rang out in the quiet space.

  The sun was bright overhead, but the road was free of cars. The silence, the lack of any other
life or awareness apart from our little group and the Chokecherry made my fur want to eject from my skin like millions of hot needles.

  Aim for the eyes.

  If only. I had to keep from extending my claws and digging them into Penelope’s arm. Or his smug face.

  “I’m taking a stroll. I assume you’re doing the same. Though why you’d bring that, uh, cat, is beyond me.”

  I hissed a ‘kiss my litter riddled ass.’

  Language.

  Peck me.

  “That cat happens to be Talisman. And I’m here looking for a friend of yours.”

  “A friend of mine?” Damien stroked his broad chin with two fingers. An evil mastermind if ever I’d seen one. “That’s strange. I don’t have any friends. At least not behind their backs.”

  Penelope blinked. She didn’t have a response to that one. Nobody did. It was true.

  Damien grinned and walked toward us, swaggering as he always did. “Business partners, yes, friends, not so much. And lovers,” he said, stopping in front of Pen. He lowered his head and stared into her eyes. “Definitely lovers.”

  Ew. A million times ew. I pushed back against Penelope’s chest, trying to force her further away from this monster.

  Disgusting creature.

  Now might be a good time for one of your aerial hair attacks.

  Duly noted. Sage exploded from the canopy and soared toward Damien, claws outstretched.

  I tensed and prepared for the fallout. It never came.

  Sage swooped overhead, hooted once, and evacuated his bowels with a huge swoosh of air.

  Splat! The sound of poop hitting Damien’s perfectly styled hairdo was the happiest noise I’d ever heard.

  “What the –?” He touched his fingers to the mess and pulled them away, then stared in horror. “What the hell!”

  Penelope’s lips twitched into a smile for the first time since Amelia’s disappearance. “There’s an old wives tale that being pooped on by a bird is good luck. Seems today is your day.”

  Damien glared at his fingers, then up at the sky. He gritted his teeth at the sight of Sage soaring off into the distance, out of range. “That stupid bird. I’ll pluck it. I’ll roast it alive.”

  “No you won’t,” Penelope said, squaring her shoulders. “Because he belongs to me and if you hurt him, I’ll be very unhappy.”

  Damien’s grimace turned to a sickly smile. He laid his gaze on my mistress again. “Then I guess I’ll have to settle for you. You will make me very happy.”

  Chapter 7

  I hissed and spat at Damien.

  He studied me with disdain, but he didn’t fear me. Kinda like a swatter wouldn’t fear a fly. Except I wasn’t a damn fly. I was Talisman, magical cat to the DeLacroix family and I was two claws away from ripping this guy a new sphincter in the center of his forehead.

  “Back off,” Penelope said, and the strength in her voice made me hiss again.

  My mistress was pale, the lack of magical power and the slow draining of her energy was apparent. However, Penelope was a DeLacroix from tibia to ossicle. I bet you humans didn’t think us felines knew our anatomy

  Psych.

  “Why should I? What are the glorious Penelope DeLacroix and her retarded cat going to do if I don’t? Nothing, that’s right, nothing.” Damien sniffed and smiled, showing whitened teeth. They looked like Chiclets. Brought me back to the days of disco and my kitty afro. “You know, my sister’s been waiting for your reply. Anxiously, I might add.”

  So he did know about it. His determination to ‘date’ Penelope hadn’t been about a conquest, well partly, but more likely about getting her to his sister.

  I struggled to form concepts in my mind, lines which connected Bianca to Lucinda to Damien. Who was in charge here?

  Penelope backed away from Damien, shaking her head.

  He closed the gap, strolling easily. He thought he had us now. No, he knew he had us. If I could squirm free of Penelope’s grip, I could transform into human form and kick this guy’s scrawny ass.

  Okay, far from scrawny ass, but I’d still kick it back to the center of town. All without clothes. Like a nude ninja.

  “Come on, come with me. Leave the cat there. I’ll take you to see your friend. Bianca’s had a lot of fun with her, but she’s more interested in spending quality time with you,” Damien said, in an intimate whisper. He reached out, presenting his palm to Penelope.

  She looked at him as if he’d presented her with a plate of soggy kibble. Or a stinkbug. Or a dead rat – that was unfortunate, I’d tried my best to make her understand it was a gift, but she’d still hated it.

  Damien was upfront about Amelia’s abduction. Did that mean he thought Penelope was helpless? That no one would believe her if she told them?

  “Penelope, you know this is the right thing to do,” he soothed. An opaque quality tinted his eyes as if he could coerce her with only a glance. It was a spell.

  “No,” Penelope said.

  “I’m not asking,” Damien replied. Pen obviously still had enough power left to fight it off, so he dove for us.

  I yowled and Penelope dodged backwards. The tips of Damien’s fingertips brushed her arm and alighted on my fur for the briefest moment, then slipped off again. He growled low in his throat.

  Sage, where are you?

  Incoming! Sage appeared on the horizon, wings stretched wide and soaring faster than I’d seen before. And I brought help. Took longer than it should have. He’s not the most perceptive of humans, admittedly.

  A car zoomed down the road in his wake. It screeched to a halt behind us. The car door opened and Dr. Luke got out, red in the cheeks, gaze flashing dangerously.

  “Penelope,” he said, then strode to us. He grasped her elbow gently, and my fur relaxed a second later. Damien Chokecherry wouldn’t try to take Dr. Luke on; the popular veterinarian had too much sway with others in the town.

  The minute he went missing, there’d be an outcry. Torches raised and all that.

  Already, news of Amelia’s absence had spread. She hadn’t come into work that morning. People thought she was ill. But soon … they’d know and it would be boots on the ground.

  “What are you doing out here?” Dr. Luke asked, and it wasn’t that clear who he was asking.

  Penelope and Damien both looked at him, as one.

  “I’m going for a walk,” they said, in unison, then looked at each other and grimaced at the same time. Seriously, creepy. I didn’t like Pen and Damien sharing anything, not even reactions. They were not a couple. Not of one mind.

  “What are you doing, Collier? One of your precious pets on the loose?” Damien sneered. “Did a Pekingese waddle away?”

  “No, but I was missing something else even more precious,” Dr. Luke replied, then gave Penelope the side-eye. He blushed like crazy and his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down.

  Penelope’s cheeks colored too, and her lips formed a perfect oval.

  Perfect timing, right? In the middle of a potential abduction via the poaching prick of Shadowcreek and they’re stopping to compliment each other. Sage flapped his wings.

  Better late than never. I think Dr. Luke got his romantic coaching from the Brothers Grimm.

  Damien backed off slowly, never breaking eye contact with Penelope. “It was lovely to see you again, Penelope. I hope we can repeat this encounter sometime soon. Very soon.”

  I hissed for good measure and leapt from Penelope’s arms. Now that Dr. Luke was here, I felt more qualified to protect my mistress. Three against one and all of that.

  Assuming we count you as a full one.

  What’s that supposed to mean?

  That you’re a few hairs short of a pelt.

  Anyone ever told you your feathers smell? Strange oily stench, really. I’m sure Tweety would be happy to help you with it. You could perch up and groom each other.

  Curse you, cat. Sage took off in a flurry of feathers and launched himself toward Penelope’s home. Our home. I’d really pissed
him off this time. Mentioning his Tweety crush was a big no-no. Only I knew what he fantasized about during his REM sleep.

  Ah well, he’d get over it.

  “Penelope, are you okay?” Dr. Luke asked, and turned her toward him. She had her arms jammed against her sides, hardly romantic, but Dr. Luke’s palms were flush with her pale skin. “You look tired. Can I take you home? We can figure out our next step from there.”

  Our next step?

  “Our next step?” Penelope mirrored my thought. This was why I loved her. We just clicked. Penelope DeLacroix and I flowed on the same wavelength. Groovy, baby.

  “You didn’t really think I’d let you face this alone did you?” he asked with an expectant look. “Penelope, I’ll do whatever I can to help you find Amelia.”

  “Please tell me you didn’t mention it to the cops?” Pen chewed her bottom lip. So she had considered going to the Chokecherry mansion after all.

  “No, I didn’t. Why?”

  “It’s just, uh, I’ll explain it when we’re back at my place,” Penelope said, and glanced around at the trees. She shivered.

  I didn’t blame her. Lately, it felt like we were being watched. Closely.

  Chapter 8

  Dr. Luke helped Penelope inside and sat her down at her kitchen table. He busied himself making coffee, chatting amicably as he did. Clearly, it didn’t have the effect he desired. I stood below Dr. Luke, hoping for grounds.

  Give up my guilty pleasure, you say, because it’s toxic and bad for my constitution. Never!

  Pen stared out of her kitchen window, a deep frown wrinkling the skin of her forehead.

  I stood beside my empty milk bowl, yearning for a little somethin’ somethin’ to go with the coffee fallout.

  How about me? Lola asked, sidling out from under the kitchen table. I missed you, Tali.

  I missed you too, gorgeous. But I had serious matters to attend to. Penelope matters. I licked the top of her head, then nipped her ear, lovingly.

  She rubbed her head beneath my chin, purring. Yup, she was my woman now. Here to stay. Except for the whole sneaking into the Chokecherry mansion thing.

  Chokecherry mansion? Lola was great at picking up on my thoughts. Particularly the ones I didn’t want her too, dammit. Every day she got better. Since she’d been alone for so long in her former owner’s apartment, she’d lost a lot of her telepathic powers. But they were coming back full force with the animal cotillion at Penelope’s.