The Good Life

by Gordon Merrick

  “You have a house?”

  “It’s part of the property, but it’s completely separate. It’s mine. It’s just a little gardener’s cottage, but I love it. I thought we might go this evening, but if you’re waiting for Bet, I daresay we should make it some other time.”

  “I don’t know. It’s about midnight? She might be another hour, even more. Do you want to take me and bring me back, or should I use my car?”

  “Oh, no. It’s my show. I want to take you. Would you really like it?”

  “I’d love it.”

  “Super.”

  It was time for a show of independence. Let her wonder what he was up to. She might share the misery he went through. He took a swallow of his drink and smiled at Trevor, touched by his devoted eyes. He wished Bet looked at him like that. “You ready? We better go before she gets here.”

  “I’m over the moon. My parents are off playing bridge somewhere. They’ll be sorry they missed you, but my house is so cut off from the main house that they won’t know you’ve been there until I tell them. You’ll see.”

  They finished their drinks and stood. “Tell Miss Bettina I’ll be back soon if she comes,” Perry said to Sylvain as they left.

  They were soon on winding country roads that seemed to be leading out toward the end of the peninsula. Perry didn’t think he’d come this way before, but Trevor obviously knew where he was going. Perry could feel his working up to something.

  “Do you mind if we talk about things?” Trevor blurted after a few moments of silence.

  “Not at all. What about?”

  “Well, about me. About Bet. I’m frightfully keen on her but not in that way, if you know what I mean. I didn’t tell you quite everything about that night we went swimming. To be perfectly frank, I’ve never been attracted to girls. That night, for some reason, I thought I might be. I don’t want to sound caddish, but I had the feeling she was willing. I made sure she knew what I wanted — it wasn’t an accident — but the minute she touched me, it was finished. I had to tell you. I’d have taken her behind your back if I could have. It was jolly dishonest to tell you a bit of what happened without telling you that.”

  “You don’t have to worry. You have as much right to try to get her as I have or the heir to the throne of Sweden. Girls make up their minds for themselves these days.”

  “You don’t mind my being a poof?” he asked. “At school we were shut away in our own world. All the chaps had crushes on each other. It was what was done. Usually it’s just forgotten after, but some of us carry it into later life. I don’t know why. I have the most tremendous crush on you.”

  Perry put a hand on his shoulder and ran it along to the nape of his neck, stroking the soft golden hair. “Don’t let it worry you. I’m not a poof, but I liked kissing you. Does your house have a bed in it?”

  “My God, Perry. Would you?”

  “It’s an idea.” It would help pass the time. Dedicating himself to Bet wouldn’t get him anywhere. She was with a man now and would be with others until she found the right husband. He wasn’t in the running. That was understood. She was only playing with him. He could play too. She couldn’t get Trevor, but he could. Trevor was a score for his side.

  He saw the lights ahead of them, and they drove through a cluster of thick trees on a narrow dirt road and around the side of a small house and stopped. Trevor looked at him, his eyes shining in the dark.

  “Here we are,” he said. “You see? This is my own entrance. Come along.”

  They let themselves out and walked across rough grass, around shrubs, and past some flowering trees. They stepped up onto a roofed terrace comfortably furnished with garden furniture. A modest stone house with three French windows ran along at the back. Two lamps shed a muted light.

  “There isn’t much of it, but it’s very pretty in the daylight,” Trevor said proudly. “The trees are beautiful, and there are gardens all over the place. There’s a real view of the sea out there. You’ll have to take my word for it tonight.”

  He led him through a French window into a living room with a low-beamed ceiling. Comfortable upholstered furniture made it look unpretentiously like home.

  “That’s the bed, and the bath of course.” He left the door open so that Perry could see a big four-poster bed and took a step toward a wooden screen. “There’s a sort of cupboard thing back there that’s been fixed up so I can give myself a cup of tea and fix drinks and so forth. I have a fridge. Now a spot of something for us.”

  He went behind the screen and reemerged with two drinks. Perry admired his gentlemanly restraint. Trevor wasn’t rushing him into bed but giving him a chance to change his mind. Sex could be civilized. And was.

  They tidied up in the bathroom and dressed. Perry accepted a goodnight drink, and they took glasses back to the divan on the terrace. Perry was in no hurry; he wanted to be reasonably sure that Bet would be home before he was. She wouldn’t be later than 2 o’clock.

  “I’ve never known a chap like you,” Trevor said.”You may like girls, but you’re fabulous with me. Bet won’t know about it, will she?”

  “Not if you don’t want her to. I don’t care. She knows I’ve done it with chaps, as you call them.”

  “She’s very sophisticated, of course. Forgive me if I seem to be prying. I assume things that I shouldn’t. I’m sorry.”

  “It doesn’t seem like prying to me. I’ve known Bet only a few weeks, remember. I’m crazy about her, but we don’t really know yet how important it is to either of us. May be she’ll decide to be the queen of Sweden.”

  “He’s very attractive for his age, don’t you think?”

  “I guess so.” Perry leaned forward and kissed Trevor’s beautiful mouth. “I know you are. It’s been wonderful.” He stood, and Trevor followed him reluctantly to his feet.

  “There’s no hope of your staying, is there?”

  “I mustn’t.”

  “Of course. You’re heaven. My crush is incurable now. I know you don’t want to have an affair, but I’m easy to find if you want me. Thank heavens we see each other all the time.”

  Perry put an affectionate arm around his shoulders, and they picked their way through the trees in the dark and found the car. Going to bed together left a residue of good feeling that meant more to him than the act itself. He gave Trevor’s shoulders a little hug from time to time to let him know that he still felt their bodies’ intimacy.

  When they came to a halt at the foot of the gangplank, the activity around the port had subsided, and there was no sign of life on board. He looked into the extraordinary depths of Trevor’s devoted eyes and gave his hand a squeeze. “See you tomorrow.”

  The boat looked so firmly shut up for the night that he was sure Bet must be there. He was careful not to rattle the gangplank when he climbed to the deck. As he reached it, Sylvain emerged from the shadows. Perry heard Trevor drive away.

  “You’re the last,” the cabin boy said with breezy informality. “She got back an hour ago. There’s been a change of plan. We’re leaving in the morning. If you—”

  “Never mind,” Perry cut in, resolutely denying him the satisfaction of being the bearer of important news. “I’ll hear about it tomorrow. I’m ready for bed. I should think you would be too.” He modified his manner with what he hoped was a friendly smile. “I’ll try not to let you catch me doing anything I shouldn’t.”

  Sylvain responded with an equally false smile. “You’ve stopped going to her cabin. I’m giving up hope.”

  “Get a good sleep. You work too hard.”

  Perry hurried below and shed his clothes in his cabin. He pulled on his dressing gown and went to Bet’s door, keeping a lookout but making no attempt at stealth. He tried the handle silently. The door was locked. He rapped twice as lightly as he could. The silence was unbroken on the other side of the door. His hand remained poised in front of it while he considered knocking again.

  He swore at himself for not letting Sylvain tell him the news. May
be there was some reason for her not wanting to see him. She was back. That was all he really cared about.

  Billy might still be awake. Perry didn’t want his knocking on her door to bring Billy to his door. He started to turn away but heard a muffled sound inside the cabin. He waited, knowing she was moving around when he heard more indistinct sounds. What in the world was she doing?

  The handle turned. He heard the faint click of the lock, and the door opened an inch. He sprang forward, prepared to push it open, but force wasn’t necessary. It swung open to admit him and closed behind him. She locked it behind him.

  “You’re finally here,” she said in an almost inaudible voice, not loud enough for him to gauge its tone. She also was wearing a dressing gown. “Where have you been?”

  “It’s all right. Nobody will hear us,” he said, keeping his voice down. “Why did you lock your door? I almost knocked it down.”

  “Thank heavens you didn’t. I’ve had enough for this evening.” She held herself aloof from him, not getting close enough for their usual passionate kiss of reunion. Something was wrong.

  “What’s going on?” He took a step toward her. He had thought his little fling with Trevor would reconcile him to letting her sleep in peace, but her withdrawal made him want to get them back on their normal footing. She looked rather lost. “I hear there’s a change of plans,” he said. “What’s it all about?”

  “I’m afraid I’ve made rather a mess of things. That is, I didn’t make a mess, but I let it get rather out of hand. If you’d been here, you might’ve helped.”

  “Helped what? And stop whispering.” He turned and opened the door and looked out. The passage was empty. He locked the door again and turned back with a shrug. “There’s nobody there. You don’t have to shout, but I want to hear.”

  “It’s all so silly,” she said plaintively. He wished she’d stop turning into a little girl. He was touched by her obvious plight, but her stalling made it difficult for him to know how to behave. “That boy Sylvain told me Daddy wanted to see me when I got back. That had never happened before. I knew Daddy was intrigued by the prince’s attentions, but it didn’t seem very important to me, so I didn’t bother to prepare any lies for him. He was as bright as a bird. He wanted to know who else had been there, so I said the first name that came into my head. Johnny Markham was there that evening we went for drinks, but I had no way of knowing he’d left this morning. Daddy knew. It made an awkward start. I can’t stand being cross-examined. Why should I be? You’re my only secret, so I told him the truth.”

  Perry’s muscles tensed. “What was that?”

  She looked at him with childlike defiance. “You don’t have to get started. There wasn’t anybody else.”

  “Just the two of you? A big seduction scene? What did you do?”

  “What do you suppose? I felt utterly ridiculous sparring with him. It was like those old movies with the fair maiden defending her virtue. ‘Unhand me, villain,’ and all the rest of it. It was so undignified. I was embarrassed for him, so I let him do what he wanted.”

  “You little slut.” He sprang at her and hit her hard across the face with his open hand. It resounded in the cabin. Tears started in her eyes.

  “You pig.” She lifted a trembling hand to her cheek. “You hit me,” she said incredulously.

  “You’re damn right.” His voice sounded hoarse with the strain of keeping it low. “That’s just the beginning. Don’t change the subject. Go ahead. Tell me all about it. Did you like it?”

  Her head lifted with defiance again. “I told you I had to find out what it was like with another man. I know that you’re not the only one who knows how to make love. Even so, doing everything right like a pro doesn’t necessarily make it exciting.”

  “So now you’d better try again so you can figure out what makes the difference. A younger guy next time, May be.”

  “May be.”

  “You little bitch.” He seized her and tugged roughly at her dressing gown and got it off. He couldn’t look at her sweet breasts without melting with tenderness. He flung her from him. She crumpled onto the bed.

  He tore off his own clothing and was on her, kneeling over her. He lifted her hand to his cock. “There. Just to remind you. That’s exciting, isn’t it?”

  “Oh, yes, Perry. It’s beautiful.”

  “I’ll let you have it, but I might not another time. You’d better think about that.” He made a hard thrust into her, and she uttered a sharp cry. She lifted her hips to him and continued to utter little animal yelps as he drove deeper into her. “Shut up,” he growled.

  “I can’t help it. It’s all you. There’s nothing to keep you from me. It’s what I’ve been waiting for. It’s so different like this. I can feel you filling me. You, darling. Only you.”

  “You haven’t got your thing in?”

  “No. I didn’t think you’d come so late. Oh, darling, isn’t it miraculous? You could give me a baby. I can feel it.”

  His outrage was seeping away. She made him feel that only he could possess her. How could she give herself to anybody else? It was a childish kink in her that she would soon get over. She had found a new game that she couldn’t imagine having serious consequences. May be realizing that what they were doing could make her pregnant would bring her to her senses.

  All the harshness in his body softened into gestures of love. He kissed and caressed her adorable body until she was crooning with ecstasy. He didn’t know how he’d been able to hit her.

  “We’re making a baby,” he murmured, his lips lightly brushing hers. “It makes me feel sort of holy.”

  “Yes, darling. Your body feels divine. I’ll never let anybody take me again unless I know it can be complete like this.”

  “Yes, baby. Never again just because you’re embarrassed for them.”

  “It sounds so stupid, but it’s true.”

  “I’m about to come.”

  “I know. I feel as if I’m going to drown in you. Let me have all of you, darling.”

  When he had withdrawn from her, he washed quickly and then sent her to the shower with orders to do a thorough job. “We’ll talk when you come out, but don’t hurry. This is serious.”

  He lay listening to the purposeful sound of splashing water and wondered if he was crazy to imagine life with her, settled into marriage. Having a child with him eventually was bound to alter her attitude about a lot of things. May be she’d even begin to want him entirely to herself.

  When she had been gone long enough to satisfy him, they lay naked together with their arms around each other and resumed a muted conversation. “You’d better tell me how things stand on board,” he said. “Does Billy know about the prince?”

  “Just that I was alone with him. I don’t think he’d believe me if I told him what happened. He’s much more determined to preserve my virginity than I ever was. He’s in enough of a state just knowing that the prince broke his promise. Daddy doesn’t want a row with royalty, but he won’t see him again. We’re taking off in the morning for Cannes.”

  “I see. Are we going to hide out for the rest of the summer?”

  “Daddy thinks the poor man will guess that I snitched on him as soon as he sees we’re gone, and he’ll stay away. I rather imagine that he will. He wouldn’t want to be hounded by an irate father.”

  “Well, it’s nice to know we might come back if we want to. Have you thought about what we’re going to do if you’re pregnant?”

  “Won’t it be glorious? It doesn’t matter whether I am or not. I know now what it’s like to really give myself to a man. My tiresome business is about to start. That won’t prove anything. If everything works as usual in another month, I suppose we’ll know that I washed carefully.”

  “What’ll we do if you haven’t?”

  “Monique will help. The Swiss are experts with abortions. There’s nothing to it.”

  “I forgot. I’ll be in Paris in another month. We have so little time.”

  “W
e’re lucky in a way. It would’ve been too dreadful to have had any sort of trouble while I was with Daddy.”

  “You mustn’t let it happen again no matter how expert the Swiss are. Abortions can be dangerous. I’ll be worried sick if that’s what you have to do.”

  He found it difficult to share her matter-of-fact acceptance of abortion, but he supposed she knew how to take care of herself.

  He tightened his arm around her. “We took an insane risk. You warned me, so it was my fault too. We’ve both got to be serious. Don’t ever let it happen again. Promise?”

  “If you say so, but I know now that that’s the way it should be — natural and complete with nothing in between us. Everything else is just sex.”

  “Just sex? If the prince taught you that sex is not necessarily the greatest thing in the world, we should be grateful.”

  “One has to have experience. I can tell Monique a thing or two now. Did you have a good time with Trevor?”

  “Did Sylvain tell you where I was?”

  “You arranged for him to pick you up?”

  “No. It was his idea. When he found me sitting around waiting for you, he suggested going to see his house.”

  “Is that what you were doing? It must be rather like Versailles. You could easily spend two hours seeing Versailles.”

  He laughed, delighted. She actually sounded annoyed. “Very subtle. You shouldn’t expect me to tell you everything I do with a friend. It’s his business as much as mine.”

  “It’s mine too if you have him.”

  “I didn’t, not the way you mean. You’re not supposed to know anything about it. He has romantic ideas about you. Poor, innocent child.”

  “Don’t be beastly.”

  “I can’t be as beastly as I ought to be.” He lifted himself over her and kissed her face slowly and adoringly. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

  “Of course you did. I liked it. You’re just the way I want a man to be. Most men wouldn’t dare hit a girl.”

  “I’m a roughneck. If we don’t go to sleep, it’ll soon be time for breakfast.”