What He Fears: Desires Book 4

by E. M. Denning

  “I hope you’re enjoying yourself, cub.” Rory slid his hand down Andrew’s stomach and grabbed his cock. When he slid his hand up Andrew’s shaft, his eyes fluttered shut and he let out the most beautiful groan Rory had ever heard. “Get the lube and get him prepped Nicky.”

  Andrew whimpered. His eyes were open again and trained on Rory. The adoration in Andrew’s gaze took Rory’s breath away. How he got so lucky, he had no idea. Rory heard the lube bottle open, and he saw the change in Andrew’s expression. His lips parted, his cheeks flushed and his chest heaved. Leaning down again, Rory slanted his mouth over Andrew’s. He wanted to taste his desperation. He wanted to feel Andrew’s need rise like a crescendo. He kissed him thoroughly, licking at the inside of his mouth, eating his whimpers and lust-choked mewls.

  Pulling away, Rory petted Andrew’s cheek. “Help me turn him, Nicky. I want his mouth.” Rory watched Nick grab Andrew under the shoulder, he shoved an arm under his ass and spun him carefully. He checked the ropes again, making sure nothing pinched or bit or was tied too tight.

  Rory locked gazes with Nicky and his heart practically burst. Two beautiful men. It felt surreal. He’d wanted Nicky for so long and a dozen times he almost gave in and took him, despite knowing it wouldn’t be fair. “Go on, Nicky. Take him.” He wanted to tell Nick that he’d earned this, that they deserved it, all three of them did because they’d all been so patient while they waited for life to cut them a break.

  But it wasn’t life. It was Andrew and the scrap of bravery he found post rejection. It was Nicky and his loyalty. His devotion to Rory, to Andrew, to everyone he cared about. And it was Rory too, for not letting Nick take less than he deserved. And he deserved everything. They all did.

  Transfixed, Rory watched Nick sink into Andrew. He watched Nick grab a hold of Andrew’s hips as he dragged his cock slowly out and thrust inside, hard and deep. Andrew gasped, and Rory looked down at him. His head hung off the end of the bed, forcing him to look up at Rory. Rory gripped his cock with one hand and Andrew’s cheek with the other. Rory smiled, Nicky had thought of everything. “If you need me to stop, Cub, tap my leg, understand?”

  Andrew swallowed, nodded, and forced the words out. “Yes, Sir.”

  Biting his lower lip, Rory slid his cock into Andrew’s open mouth. “I know you haven’t done a lot of this.” Rory said as he tested out a few shallow thrusts. “If you need me to stop, I’m not going to be disappointed, okay, Andrew.” Andrew closed his eyes and took a deep breath, then flicked his tongue against Rory’s cock. “That’s a good boy.” Rory cupped Andrew’s head gently and inched his cock toward Andrew’s throat.

  Andrew’s eyes watered when he started to gag and Rory pulled back. “It’s okay, Cub. You’re doing so good.” Rory lifted his gaze and stared at Nick. He wanted to get a photographer in here to capture the look in Nick’s eyes and the flush of his skin. He wanted to immortalize the ripple of his muscles when he thrust inside Andrew. He needed to capture the moments and hang them on the wall of their room. Andrew’s skin, bound in rope, would look amazing on the wall next to a picture of Rory’s hand on his throat, feeling his cock through the layer of flesh and muscle.

  His gaze trailed back up to Andrew’s face. Glassy eyes stared back at him, tears leaked down his face, he blinked and more spilled. He watched Andrew fist the sheets and close his eyes. Andrew released his hold on the sheets with a sigh and every muscle in his body relaxed. He watched Andrew let go and Rory’s heart soared.

  “Roar.” Rory’s gaze snapped up and held Nicky’s. Nicky, who would submit for no one else, submitted for him. Nicky, who needed both sides of the coin, balanced on the razor thin edge for him, for them, and stood before him, begging for his own release. “Roar, please. Roar.”

  Everything Rory had always wanted and never dared dreaming about had landed in his hands. Happiness swelled inside him like a sunrise. “Make the cub come first, Nicky.”

  Nick wrapped his hand around Andrew’s cock. It only took a couple of strokes before Andrew shouted around Rory’s cock and spilled cum all over his stomach, coating Nick’s fingers. Nick’s hips snapped and Rory looked on, his own release pooling in his balls, his breathing ragged and desperate, as Nick thrust deep and came with a shout.

  Pulling out of Andrew’s throat, Rory stroked his aching cock hard and fast, the way he liked it best, and painted Andrew’s chin. His lips. His cheek. Andrew opened his eyes and blinked at Rory as he poked his tongue out and licked the cum off his lip. Rory bent down and brushed a kiss against Andrew’s cum-covered lips.

  He stroked Andrew’s cheek. “You best get the cub untied, Nicky.” Though Andrew looked sated and limp, Rory worried about his comfort and his circulation. Nicky obeyed instantly, quickly untying his legs, he lowered them down to the mattress gently, one at a time. Nick undid the ropes from Andrew’s thighs and tossed them aside before gently pulling out. He gathered Andrew into his arms and sat him up.

  “Wrap your arms around me, Cub. That’s a good boy.” Rory climbed onto the bed and sat behind Andrew. He watched Nick find the knot of the harness and undo it. Nick, he realized, could tie someone up while blindfolded and that bit of knowledge sent shivers down his spine. He stroked Andrew’s skin and watched as Nick cradled Andrew against him and undid the harness. It was a bit awkward, and it probably took a bit longer this way, but it was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

  When the rope finally fell away and the only thing that remained were faint red marks that would soon disappear, Andrew fully relaxed in Nick’s arms. “Lie down with the cub, Nicky.” Rory leaned close and stole a quick kiss from each of them. “I’ll get us some water.” Rory grinned at the streak of cum on Andrew’s cheek. “And maybe a cloth. We made a mess of the cub.”

  Nick grabbed at his hand, clutching his fingers. “Stay. We’re fine. Don’t need water, only you. Besides,” Nicky swiped a finger through the cum on Andrew’s cheek and licked it clean. He repeated the action until Andrew’s cheek and chin were relatively clean. “You taste good.”

  Rory shifted them around until he could sit at the top of the bed, with his back against the headboard. Nick and Andrew lay together, half tangled with each other, half laying on him. He gazed down at his men and traced the lines of their cheekbones. The shell of their ears. He touched their sweat-damp hair, brushing it off their foreheads. “You two are the most beautiful and precious things in the world. I love you.” Rory thought of the collars that were still safely stored in his office at work and he wondered if it would be too soon. They’d all decided that they were it for each other. They wanted this, and no matter how unconventional it looked to other people, they didn’t care. That wouldn’t stop them from wanting it.

  His men dozed while Rory watched over them, raking his fingers through their hair, gazing at them. He’d want these moments captured the most of all. These precious moments when they’d let go of everything and simply existed with him, free of worry and angst and fear and filled with hope, love, and peace.

  Nick blinked at him a few times, then smiled softly. “Hey you.”

  Tracing a finger across Nick’s lips he shushed him. “You’ll wake the cub.”

  “The cub is already awake.” Andrew muttered sleepily.

  “How are you feeling?” Rory asked him. He worried about Andrew most of all. He wanted to make sure he never regretted falling for not one, but two men. He wanted every moment and every encounter to be as special for them as it was for him.

  “Hungry. Sticky. Need to piss.” Andrew snuggled closer. “Happy.”

  He smiled down at Nick and raked a hand through Andrew’s hair. “Get the cub into the shower, Nicky. I’ll get dressed and get us something to eat.”

  He watched Nick climb out of the bed first. He reached for Andrew and tugged him to his feet. “You should join us.”

  The thought was tempting, but Rory needed to put the rope away and get them something to eat. He thought about eating the leftovers from earlier, but then he thought
that they might want Thai instead, it was their favorite. “Next time.” Rory winked at them as they left the room.

  He tidied the rope, put the lube away and gave the room a cursory glance before deciding it was good for now, then headed down to the kitchen. He opened the drawer below the coffee maker and pulled out a stack of menus. Spreading them on the counter he looked at the options. He braced his elbows on the counter and let it hold some of his weight. Part of him regretted not joining them in the shower, but he wanted to make sure they were taken care of. He could shower later.

  “Roar?”

  Rory turned his head and blinked at Nick. “Hey.”

  Andrew stood behind Nick. Both were damp from their shower and wore low slung cotton lounge pants and matching looks of concern.

  “You were lost in space. You okay, Roar?” Nick put a hand on Rory’s shoulder and urged him closer.

  Rory blinked. “I’m fine. I was trying to decide on what take out I wanted.”

  “You didn’t get dressed.” Nick sounded more concerned than amused.

  “Is something wrong with him?”

  Nick, like a fucking superhero, swept Rory up into his arms. Rory would normally protest, but he didn’t have the energy.

  “He’s fine. Just a little Dom Drop.”

  Rory snuggled into Nick and breathed in his freshly showered scent. He listened while Nick took him to the couch and wrapped him in a blanket.

  “Dom Drop is like Sub Drop, but it’s a little less common. Sit here, Andrew, wrap your arms around him. That’s a good boy.” Rory let himself be passed from one man to the other. “It only happens to Rory occassionally. I didn’t know what to do the first time, so Rory, being the control freak that he is, gave me standing orders to put him on the couch, cuddle him and tell him if he did a good job, and then feed him and hold him while he sleeps through one of his favorite movies.”

  Andrew kissed the top of Rory’s head. “I can do that.” Strong hands smoothed up Rory’s back, and he felt like purring. Nick had draped a heavy blanket over them and Rory was glad he was naked, or he’d have been too hot curled up against Andrew. As it was, it felt pretty perfect.

  Once Nick made the takeout order, he settled in on the couch and pulled Rory’s feet into his lap. He rubbed in slow circles, kneading the muscle gently.

  “This is nice.” Rory mumbled, still cradled in Andrew’s arms.

  “This is perfect.” Andrew said, holding Rory a little tighter.

  “I’m keeping you. Both of you.”

  Nick laughed softly, “You couldn’t get rid of us if you wanted to.”

  “Keeping you.” Rory repeated, as he dropped closer to sleep. “Forever.”

  Epilogue

  Rory

  Rory smoothed his hands over the seat of his black trousers and looked around the dining room. They’d taken the tables and chairs out to accommodate the arrangements of blue roses and the photography equipment. Nolan had toured the house the week previous and deemed the dining room the best room for the shoot because of the large French doors that led out onto the seldom used deck.

  He turned in a slow circle, assuring himself that everything was perfect. Nolan had set up his equipment and circled the room taking a series of test shots. Along the farthest wall, there was a buffet. The usual trinkets were cleared off and, in their place stood tall white candles. Two square velvet boxes sat on the polished surface. Silver collars sat inside waiting for submissives. His submissives. He smoothed his hand over the tops of the boxes, then pulled his hand back and turned to Nolan.

  “Have I thanked you yet for doing this?”

  Nolan stopped and looked at Rory. “Have I told you yet that photographing three extremely attractive men is no hardship.”

  Reaching up, he touched his newly dyed hair, smiling at the memory of Andrew, who insisted he get to help. “Well, two attractive men and a sort of cute queen with blue hair.”

  Nolan grinned and shook his head, hiding his face behind his camera again. Laughter filled the house and Rory smiled as it got closer to the dining room. Rory took a deep breath. This was it. It was the moment Rory never knew he’d always been waiting for. Nick and Andrew were his everything.

  It had been six months since Andrew and Nick moved in and Rory waited for five months before tentatively broaching the subject of permanent collars. Nicky had clung to them both and quietly explained the meaning and significance to their bewildered cub. He’d never forget the way their eyes shimmered, glassy with emotion, when Andrew had said yes, followed by Nick’s cheeky reply of what took you so long?

  Nick and Andrew rounded the corner, hand in hand, both shirtless, like Rory and wearing matching black trousers. The subject of nudity for the shoot had been discussed, and they’d collectively decided that they wanted pictures they could share with people. Those pictures had been taken a few minutes ago. Before they knelt, Rory would get the joy of watching them disrobe.

  “You’re beautiful.” Rory exhaled, the tension leaving his shoulders. “Both of you.”

  Behind him, Rory was vaguely aware of a camera shutter clicking in the background. Rory stood in the center of the room and waited for his men to come to him. They approached, Andrew following Nick’s lead, like always.

  Nick ordered Andrew out of his pants. As he stripped the camera clicked furiously and Rory relished in the knowledge that he’d forever have these moments. He watched them strip then kneel and finally, wait. They’d wait there for hours if Rory wished it, but he didn’t. He had everything he’d always wanted, and his patience was too thin now that the moment was here. He didn’t want to prolong it.

  He fetched both velvet boxes and brought them back to his submissives. “I made these special for the two of you. I’ve had them tucked away in my office for months.” He opened the first box and took out the silver chain he’d crafted. Handing the box to Andrew, he unclasped the necklace and slid it around Andrew’s neck. It was a simple chain that fastened together using a latch system that he’d crafted to look like a carabiner. The silver chain was fashioned to look like rope. He whispered his promises to Andrew, to love him, to protect him, to keep him safe as he secured it. He kissed his newly collared sub sweetly, lingering for too long, and not long enough. But he had time to come back to that later.

  He opened the second box and removed Nick’s necklace, a length of chain with a clasping device that looked like handcuffs. He repeated the process, sliding the chain around Nick’s neck. He repeated the words, made the same promises then kissed Nick. It was a hard-won kiss full of years of want and need, devoid of fear, full only of hope. When the kiss ended, Rory licked the taste of him from his lips and exhaled a breath heavy with emotion.

  Rory took the empty boxes back to the buffet then turned. Two men kneeled for him. Two men relied on him to look after them. To protect them. To love them and nurture them. Rory took a deep breath and blinked at Nick, who’d somehow produced a smaller velvet box.

  The camera continued to click softly in the background. “What’s this?”

  Andrew flushed pink. “We wanted to get you something.”

  Rory took the box from Nick and opened it, then smiled. He remembered the rush order for the custom bracelet. A silver rope and a silver chain braided with a strand of smooth metal. The bracelet was an infinity bracelet and Rory teared up at the symbolism. The camera had stopped clicking and Rory glanced up in time to see Nolan quietly retreat. He caught Rory’s gaze, smiled, nodded, then left him alone with his boys.

  He sucked in a deep breath. “You two are the craftiest boys ever.” Rory slid the bracelet onto his wrist and admired it. “I love it. And you. Both of you. Always.”

  The End

  Acknowledgements

  This book took months to write. And were it not for the constant nagging encouragement from Kate Hawthorne and Lynn Van Dorn, it might have taken longer. But they loved my boys and wanted more and when Andrew was being particularly stubborn, they were there for me to vent to.


  I want to thank my beta readers, Melinda, Samantha, Sissy, and Jessie. You guys helped soothe my fears about this book. A huge thank you also to Courtney and Barb.

  As always, a huge shout out to my cover artist, Dana Leah from Designs by Dana.

  And to my readers. Thank you for sticking with me. Thank you for loving my boys.

  About The Author

  E. M. Denning is a married mom of three and a writer from British Columbia. She loves her family and her animals and anything cute and fuzzy. She writes romance for the 18+ crowd because she is both a hopeless romantic and a dirty old woman.

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  Other books in the Desires Series

  What He Needs (Book One)

  What He Craves (Book Two)

  What He Hides (Book Three)

  Other books by E. M. Denning

  Bright Lights

  *Christmas Lights

  *(available only in the boxset The Bells of Winter)

  All For Him

  Boomerang

  Revenge

  Little Love on the Prairie

  Measure For Measure

  The Studio Collection

  Alpha Tango

  At The Barre

  Jazz Hands

  Break

  The Forbidden Dance