Fight or Flight

by Jamie Canosa

  “Please don’t make me leave. I have nowhere else to go.” Em’s voice cracked, and though she remained silent after that, he could see the way her shoulders shook as she dissolved into tears behind a veil of hair.

  Dammit. He couldn’t stand seeing her cry. Especially, knowing he’d been at least partially responsible for the tears. His fingers itched to touch her—comfort her in some way. So he did, covering her small hand with his own. She flinched, but this time she didn’t pull away. Whatever had happened to her, whatever she’d been through, it really was worse than this. And that pained him to think about.

  “Hey. It’s okay. It’s all right, Em. Come here.” She didn’t like being touched—and maybe that had to do with more than just him—but she didn’t fight as he pulled her into his arms, rocking her gently. “Shh. It’s okay. You’re not going anywhere. You’re all right.”’

  Jay could feel her tears soaking through the front of his shirt as he held her, feeling utterly inadequate. He wished he knew what to do to make it better, but he didn’t even know what it was. Just that it was bad. Bad enough she didn’t want to talk about it. Bad enough that life here with him was preferable. Just bad.

  Eventually, Em cried herself to sleep and, knowing he’d have to get some rest himself if he was going to be any good to either of them tomorrow, he reluctantly laid her down across her bed of newspapers. More than anything he wanted to lie down beside her and continue to hold her close. The feel of her in his arms could easily become an addiction for him, but he knew that it probably wasn’t a good idea.

  He’d chipped away at her walls tonight, but after what had just happened, he knew they’d be back and fortified with a damn moat by the time she woke. It didn’t matter. He’d keep trying. Sooner or later, he’d break through to her. Doing the respectable thing, he slid into his own makeshift bed, and lay there, watching her sleep from across the room until the early hours of the morning.

  ***

  She was still sleeping when he woke again at first light. He couldn’t blame her; it was early and she’d had a rough night. She had a lot of those. He’d heard her thrashing around and crying out softly at least twice. Nightmares. Both times he’d called her name quietly—not wanting to make them worse by touching her—and eventually she’d settled down and drifted back to sleep.

  He debated letting her rest, but his mind was already made up. He was done trying to keep her hidden away until she gave up and went home. She couldn’t go back there. That was all she’d told him, but it wasn’t a statement made on inexperience. It was a fact. Whatever waited for her there, she couldn’t go back to it. And a sinking feeling in the pit of Jay’s stomach told him he didn’t want her to. That meant teaching her how to survive out here. It wasn’t much, but it was the best he could do for her.

  “Em. Em, wake up.” He couldn’t help smiling when she rolled over with an annoyed groan and buried her head in her arms. Not a morning person then. “Em, come on. We gotta go if you want breakfast.”

  “Breakfast?” Jay laughed. Apparently, food trumped sleep in her book. “What’s so funny?”

  “You are. Now get up if you want to come with me.”

  “What time is it?” Her gaze drifted to the dim light filtering through the window.

  “Just after dawn, and if we don’t hurry there won’t be anything left. Now, come on.”

  “You’re taking me with you?” She blinked away some residual sleep as her head seemed clear.

  “Do you want to come?”

  “Yes.” She smiled at him and he knew, without a doubt, that no matter what the day brought, he’d made the right decision.

  Outside, the morning air was brisk. Em was still wearing her sweater from the day before. The only shirt of her own she had left, and by far the warmest thing in either of their wardrobes. Still, Jay noticed the way she shivered and wrapped her arms more tightly around herself. They were going to have to do more than just get breakfast today.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Em

  At the end of the block, a good fifteen minutes later, Em spotted a small shop with a hand painted wooden sign hanging over the door. It had a smiling cupcake on it and ‘Cathy’s Cakes’ scrawled in pretty handwriting. It was old and faded, but in a warm, welcoming sort of way.

  Em found herself drawn to the shop, though that may have had something to do with the unbelievable scents wafting out the door each time it opened, something it seemed to be doing a lot. Lots of people coming and going, and most of them, Em noted, looked as disheveled as her and Jay. These weren’t customers. These were street kids.

  “Here we are.” Jay pulled open the door and waited for Em to step past him. The first thing that hit her—besides the wonderful smell of the place—was the warmth. The whole place was sweltering. Behind the counter, the ovens were all cranking and it felt great.

  A deep laugh floated over the continuous ringing of the bell tied to the door handle and Em’s gaze drifted to a large, potbellied man with a friendly smile standing behind a folding table near the rear wall.

  “That’s the owner, Sam.” Jay’s breath stirred the fine hairs near her ear.

  If Sam was the owner, then . . . “Who’s Cathy?”

  “Cathy was his wife. They used to run this place together, but she died a few years ago. At least that’s what I’ve heard. Apparently she started this whole outreach program, but Sam kept it going after she died. He’s good people, Em.”

  Laid out before Sam was an array of pastries. Bagels, croissants, donuts, and muffins covered most of the table top, and her stomach chose that moment to declare how delicious they all looked to the entire shop. Embarrassed and ashamed of her greedy body, Em ducked her head, allowing her hair to shield her face.

  “Ah, Jay. How are you doing this morning?”

  “Fine, Sam. Thanks. How are you?” Em followed quietly as he moved across the shop toward the man behind the table.

  “I’m doing just fine, thank you. And this must be the little friend who’s been staying with you for the past week.”

  Em peeked out from behind her hair and caught Sam smiling widely at her. Surprised—and a little annoyed—that Jay would tell someone about her, she shot him a look.

  “Don’t worry, Sweetheart. Jay didn’t say a word. I just noticed he’s been helping himself to a double portion lately and he’s not the type to take more than his fair share.” Sam smiled at her again and, this time, she managed to return it. She didn’t know why, but she liked that this man had such a high opinion of Jay.

  “I’m Sam.” He offered his hand and left it up to her whether or not to give her name in return. She liked that, too.

  “I’m Em.” His hand felt warm against her cold one and she fought the urge to flinch, only partially succeeding.

  “Help yourself, Sweetheart. Whatever you’d like.” He waved his hand over the vast spread that Em was barely keeping herself from drooling on.

  She picked up a blueberry muffin that smelled like heaven and stepped aside to wait for Jay. After relishing in the scent for as long as she could stand, she took a big bite of sweet deliciousness. A groan she couldn’t suppress slipped out Just as Jay rejoined her.

  “That good, huh?”

  She felt her cheeks flame at Jay’s teasing, but chose to ignore him. The muffin was too good to be distracted from enjoying every last bite. Whatever Sam’s recipe was, this was the best muffin she’d ever had in her life and she told him so.

  “I’m glad you enjoyed it.” The way his belly shook when he laughed reminded her of Santa Claus. A Santa Claus who brought hungry kids pastries. She couldn’t think of a better kind. “You come back and see me again tomorrow, Sweetheart.”

  With a quick nod, Em reluctantly followed Jay out of the warmth of the bakery and back onto the chilled street.

  “He must like you.” Em glanced at Jay as he chuckled. “He never tells me to come back. Then again, I’ve never groaned over his baking before, either.”

  Em smiled and Jay
grinned back at her for a moment before the expression slipped into something more serious.

  “Em, listen. Sam’s a good guy. You can trust him. If you ever . . . If there’s ever a time you need something and I’m not around, you can go to him, okay?”

  Not around? Why wouldn’t he be around? Was this it? His way of saying goodbye? He was too nice to just dump her, so he’d brought her with him and introduced her to Sam to help soften the blow?

  “W-Why won’t you be around?”

  She could feel the panic rising up and Jay must have seen it, too. She’d never had much of a poker face.

  “No. Em, I will be. I’m not going anywhere, okay?”

  His fingers flexed like he wanted to touch her, and she couldn’t decide if she wanted him to or not. Last night things had been different. She’d been a complete mess, and his touch had been comforting—nice, even. But here, in the harsh light of day, on a public street, the thought sent waves of anxiety coursing through her.

  When Jay tucked his hands in his pockets, leaning back a bit to give her some more space, she breathed a sigh of relief. Crisis averted, she was able to concentrate again.

  “But, then . . . Why did you say—?”

  “Just in case of emergency, okay? That’s all. You can’t always be sure of things out here, and it’s good to have a backup plan.”

  Backup plan. That made sense. And he wasn’t leaving her. That was fine. Good. It was a little scary to realize just how dependent she’d become on him, but she’d worry about that later.

  “Hey, I’ve got an idea.” Em glanced nervously at Jay, wondering why that statement sounded more like a challenge. And he was grinning again. Oh boy. “You up for an adventure?”

  “An adventure?” Her nerves cranked up another notch. “What kind of adventure?”

  “The kind you’ll be glad we went on tomorrow.”

  That sounded . . . ominous. But what could she really say? She’d been asking him to take her out with him for a week. She’d finally gotten what she’d wanted; she couldn’t turn back now.

  “Okay.”

  ***

  Never in a million years did Em think their ‘adventure’ would include an airport, but that’s right where Jay led them.

  “What are we doing here?”

  “Shopping.”

  “Shopping?”

  “Well, more like . . . acquiring.”

  “Acquiring what?”

  “A new wardrobe. You need something besides that sweater to wear and I need to upgrade to some warmer stuff.”

  “How do we do that?”

  His gaze shot to the conveyor belt circling lazily through the baggage claim.

  “So by acquire, you mean steal?”

  Jay grimaced at the word, but conceded to its accuracy. “Technically. But, anything lost during travel is compensated for by the airline, so really it’s the company that takes the hit and not the individual.”

  Em stared at him for a moment. He’d really looked into it. The thought of stealing bothered him that much. Now she felt bad for bringing it up at all. He was right, they needed something besides what was on their backs to wear and with winter on the way, they’d probably be needing a lot of it to keep warm.

  “All right.” She glanced back over at the baggage claim which was beginning to fill with harried looking passengers. “How do we do this?”

  Chapter Fifteen

  Jay

  She went for it. Jay honestly couldn’t believe it. He’d been sure he was going to be making another trip back here tomorrow to get what he needed after taking care of her today, but she’d stepped up. She was scared. He could hear it in her voice and see it in the way she kept running her fingers though her hair, but somehow that only made her even braver in his eyes.

  It wasn’t dangerous. Not really. He’d done it several times already and never had a problem, and there wasn’t a chance he was about to let anything happen to her. Still, she didn’t know any of that and he wanted to make her as comfortable as possible. Confidence was key and nerves would just get in the way of that.

  “It’s simple. Just look like you belong. Walk up to the carousel like you’re looking for something and wait with everyone else. Let the bags go around a couple times. That way you know whoever’s bag it is isn’t standing right beside you. Then look for one that suits you. You’re a girl, so look for anything pink or flowery. Odds are there’ll be women’s clothes inside. Just don’t grab anything that looks too young. No cartoon backpacks or anything.”

  “Then what?”

  “Walk away.”

  “What if someone stops me?”

  “They won’t, Em. You’re gonna be fine. And I’ll be right there. Okay?”

  She worried her lower lip between her teeth, and Jay was hit with the sudden desire to replace them with his own. Where the hell had that come from?

  He cleared his throat, mainly to refocus his own wayward thoughts, but it served to wrangle hers as well. “Okay.”

  As soon as they hit the baggage claim, Jay veered away from her. Em’s eyes widened, but with a nod from him, she kept moving. He wasn’t going far. Just far enough not to be conspicuous. One roughly dressed, poorly maintained person is easily overlooked. Hell, people did it every day. But two together becomes a bit of an eye sore—a noticeable eye sore.

  He picked his way around the carousel until he was opposite Em. It was obvious to him how nervous she was, but she was doing a pretty decent job of hiding it from everyone else. He tried to catch her attention, to let her know where he was, but she was trained on the bags passing by in front of her.

  Dragging his eyes away from her—easier said than done—Jay forced himself to concentrate. He scanned the bags on the belt. Women’s luggage was easy to pick out. Men’s was more fifty-fifty. A black bag could go either way, and there weren’t many done up in camo or anything blatantly male. As he watched, a black bag with a green tag passed by on its second revolution. That was probably his best bet.

  Inching forward, he tried to remain as inconspicuous as possible while pushing through a rather large group of people, making it to the front just as the bag slipped by. In one fluid movement, he reached out, snagged it off the line, turned to go, and was brought up short. A balding man in a business suit blocked his path. He stood a good two inches shorter than Jay at least, but the professional attire and look of disgust he wore made him intimidating, nevertheless.

  “I believe you have something that belongs to me.” The man’s eyes dipped to the bag in Jay’s hand.

  Crap! This had never happened to him before and now of all times—having Em with him—it had to happen now? Jay’s eyes dropped to the bag as he pulled it up, pretending to take a closer look. His gaze drifted over the name tag and then back up to the man in front of him.

  “Shoot.” He laughed. “Sorry about that. Bags all look the same.”

  He passed the case over, hoping that would be the end of it. It wasn’t. The man stood there staring at him like he was trying to make up his mind. Probably about whether or not to call security. Jay had to do something. And he had to do it fast.

  Glancing back over his shoulder, Jay noticed another black bag making its way around the belt. “Oh, there it is.”

  He backtracked to the belt and scooped the second bag off the carousel, praying no one stopped him this time. The man hadn’t moved. He glanced around waiting for someone else to step in, but when no one did, he turned with a sharp huff and disappeared into the crowd. Jay forced a deep breath and headed for the door. He wanted to stay and keep an eye on Em, but hanging around the baggage claim after he’d already claimed his baggage would draw attention and he’d already done enough of that for one day.

  Out on the sidewalk, Jay settled in near the door, looking to all the world like anyone else waiting on a taxi. From where he stood, he had a clear view through the sliding glass doors. His gaze darted through the crowd searching out Em’s slight form. She wasn’t standing near the carousel where she h
ad been and his heart rate picked up. What if she’d been caught? What if she’d panicked and run off? His eyes danced back and forth, face to face. She wasn’t there. She wasn’t anywhere. Shit! How could he have let this—?

  The door slid open with a whoosh of air, and Jay nearly tripped over his bag when Em stepped out onto the sidewalk wheeling a large purple and white bag behind her. She’d done it.

  “No problems?” Jay tugged out the sliding handle to his bag and headed toward the parking lot.

  “None.” She was grinning from ear to ear, and it made him smile.

  He was surprised to find just how impressed he was with her. She’d done it. Better than him. And on her first try. Maybe—just maybe—they could make this work.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Em

  Em’s cheeks hurt from how hard she was smiling. Jay was right, it had been easy. When she’d seen Jay get stopped by that man, she nearly gave up. Ran for the nearest exit and never looked back. But he’d handled everything so smoothly. He never even looked frazzled. If he could do it, so could she.

  By its third trip around the carousel, the crowd was beginning to thin out, and it was becoming obvious that the purple bag’s owner was in no rush to claim it. Snatching it off the belt, she’d half expected to be hauled off by airport security immediately, but nothing happened. One step at a time, she’d walked through the lingering passengers and straight out the exit to Jay. The look on his face had been worth whatever years the stress of the whole situation had taken off her life.

  For the first time in a long, long time, Em actually felt good about herself. Yeah, sure, someone was about to have a not so happy start—or end—to their vacation, but she wouldn’t think about that. Instead, she focused on the case she was wheeling along the sidewalk behind her. It felt like a grab bag, and she was excited to see what was inside.

  Jay was walking just ahead of her since the two bags made it difficult to walk side-by-side. So when he stopped, she nearly tripped over his bag.