Fight or Flight

by Jamie Canosa

  She really didn’t want anyone seeing her like that, especially someone like them. Someone who wouldn’t understand. “No. I think . . .” she glanced around for a reasonable excuse. “I think I’m going to take a look at a couple of the stands.”

  “All right. I’ll be right back.” Jay strutted off towards the group of guys lounging in the sun, while Em made her way over to the tables displaying a variety of goods.

  It had been so long since she’d gone shopping—even window shopping—she got a sudden thrill. Wandering from table to table, listening to other shoppers choose their purchases, Em tried to decide what she would buy if she had any money to spend.

  A pair of dark sunglasses caught her eye at the end of one table. Obviously knockoffs, they were still pretty with wide frames and a swirling design up both sides. Slipping them on, she glanced in the mirror sitting in the middle of the table. They even made her worn, hollowed face look nice.

  “Hey!” The angry shout took her buy surprise, and Em glanced around to see who was being yelled at only to realize, it was her. “What do you think you’re doing?”

  A large man with a thick accent was headed straight for her. Instinctively, she took a step back and he snatched her wrist. “Where do you think you’re going?”

  Her crutches dropped to the ground as she struggled to get away from him. His breath stunk of onion and garlic, but all she could smell was her uncle’s cologne as her mind brought her back to a place she tried so hard to avoid.

  “You think you can steal from me? All of you street kids. You’re all the same . . .” Em watched—horrified—as his face morphed into her uncle’s right before her eyes, and she fought harder to free herself. When he grip only tightened, she screamed.

  A moment later, the man was gone—shoved fiercely away from her—and Jay was there. She could see his lips moving, but was having a hard time hearing what he was saying over the roar of blood in her ears. Slowly, his words began to sink in and pull her back to reality, away from her waking nightmare.

  “. . .okay? Are you all right, Em?”

  “No one steals from me!” The man roared over Jay and advanced on them again.

  Em immediately shrank away from him, and Jay moved in front of her. “She wasn’t stealing anything. Leave her alone!”

  The man’s fist connected with Jay’s jaw before Em even saw it coming. He reeled sideways, but only for a moment. Then, he was right back, putting himself between them.

  “Bullshit! She still has my glasses on.”

  Em’s brain finally caught up and she snatched the glasses off of her face and tossed them on the table like they were hot. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know . . . I didn’t mean . . . I just . . .”

  “It’s all right, Em.” Jay took her hand before turning back to the man still glowering at them. “She wasn’t stealing them. She was trying them on. Don’t people have a right to try on your sunglasses?”

  “People do,” the man snipped and the remark cut right through Em.

  “You son of a . . . Who gave you the right to decide—”

  “Who steals from me? The law, speaking of which, I’m calling them now. I’ve had it with you kids thinking you can help yourselves to whatever the hell you like.”

  Coward. Again she was letting Jay fight her battles for her. Useless coward. Not anymore. She wasn’t that girl anymore. “Don’t! Stop. Please.”

  “Why the hell shouldn’t I?”

  “Because . . .” Em had always been able to think on her feet. A necessity that came from living with secrets for so long. “Because then you’ll have to explain this.” She gestured to Jay’s bruised face. “You press charges for theft, then we’ll press charges for assault.”

  “You really think they’ll take your word over mine?”

  “Even if they don’t, they’ll still have to take a report and ask questions. Who knows how long that would take? Is that really how you want to spend the rest of your day? How much business would it cost you? Is it really worth it when we’re just going to leave?”

  The man considered her threat for a few minutes, while Em waited anxiously beside Jay. “Fine. Get the hell out of here, but if I ever see you around here again, I’m calling the cops.”

  Jay scooped up her crutches, and they headed off further down the path before he could change his mind. Once the man and his shop were out of sight, Em released a pent up breath. Her entire body shuddered with residual fear both from the encounter and the memories it had brought back. Her hands shook so badly, one of her crutches slipped into a crevice and she tripped over it.

  “Hey. You all right?” Jay steadied her.

  “Yeah. I’m fine. I just—”

  “Here. Let’s take a little break.”

  He led her off the path and under a large Oak tree that still had most of its leaves. They danced and swayed in the afternoon breeze allowing random rays of sparkling sunlight to break through the canopy. Jay settled in the grass against the trunk and helped her down beside him.

  “What are we doing?”

  “Nothing.” Jay brushed some stray hairs from her face, tucking them behind her ear. “We’re just relaxing for a little bit.”

  She couldn’t remember Jay ever taking a break before, but the idea sounded wonderful. Between all of the walking they’d been doing and the scare she’d just had, Em was tired already and they still had a long walk back. Allowing her eyes to shut for just a minute, she felt her head dip onto Jay’s shoulder, but she hadn’t the energy or desire to do anything to change that.

  Chapter Twenty-seven

  Jay

  They hadn’t been sitting more than five minutes before Em passed out. He knew she was exhausted. The walk alone had been too much, but the jackass back at the stand had scared the crap out of her. Jay had never heard her scream like that, and that had scared the crap out of him. He’d wanted to rip the guy’s head off for touching her like that, and he probably would have gotten himself into a lot more trouble if Em hadn’t stepped in when she did. Once again, she’d saved his ass.

  She looked so peaceful sleeping on his shoulder. It meant something to him that she could look that way while resting in his arms, when the touch of that other man had sent her into a screaming fit. It meant she trusted him. Something he was certain she didn’t do easily or often, maybe ever. He couldn’t figure how he’d earned that kind of trust, but he was sure as hell going to live up to it. Everyone in Em’s life that she trusted had left her or let her down. He wasn’t going to let his name get added to that list.

  “Excuse me?” An older man stood over him, holding a cooler. “I’m sorry to bother you. I don’t want to wake her, but I was wondering . . . Well, I made a couple peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for my grandchildren.” He inclined his head towards two kids jumping around on the sidewalk near the parking lot. “It turns out they don’t like peanut butter and jelly. We’re headed out for burgers, but I have these sandwiches here that are just going to go to waste. Would you like them? Or do you think she might?” He glanced down at Em.

  “Really?” Jay was stunned by the man’s generosity. It seemed every time they turned around they were facing the worst the world had to offer. It was easy to forget sometimes that good people existed, too.

  “Of course.” The man dug around in the cooler and produced a couple of wrapped sandwiches and juice boxes. He laid them on the grass and was on his way again without another word.

  “Hey!” Jay called quietly after him, afraid of waking Em. “Thank you.”

  “You’re very welcome. Just take care of her.” He nodded towards Em, and Jay smiled.

  “I plan to.”

  After watching the man and his grandkids pile into their car and drive away, he debated whether or not to wake Em. She needed her rest, but she needed food more. The calories in peanut butter would do a lot to help her body heal and she hadn’t eaten anything but a Danish all day. Neither had he.

  “Em.” He nudged her with his shoulder and her head loll
ed to the side. “Hey, Em.” He tried again and this time she grumbled something in her sleep that made him laugh. “All right, Sleeping Beauty, up and at ‘em.”

  He shook her again, this time succeeding in rousing her, and she blinked up at him.

  “Mornin’, beautiful.” That made her smile. Score.

  “Hardly,” she laughed. “I’ve had what, one shower in the past . . . two weeks?”

  “Yeah, well, I think street chic works for you.”

  Her face looked soft and sweet, peeking up at him through dark lashes from where her head laid on his chest. The dark rings under her eyes just made the blue look bluer somehow, and her lips? Well, he couldn’t even think about her lips without taking the whole thing way too far and risk driving her away completely. He’d only kissed her the once, briefly at the hospital, but he’d other things on his mind at the time. Like not getting caught stealing. If they were ever going to go there for real it would have to be her call.

  “Look what I’ve got.”

  Chapter Twenty-eight

  Em

  “Em, up. You gotta get up. Now. Come on.”

  Em blinked sleepily up at Jay, who was standing over her, shaking her shoulder.

  “Huh?” Her brain was still half asleep—maybe because it was still dark outside—and nothing was making much sense.

  She remembered their trip to the park, and their impromptu picnic lunch under the Oak tree, and then coming back to the squat. Jay had gone out to get them something for dinner and she’d fallen asleep not long after he returned. None of that explained why he was waking her so early, or why he looked so flustered.

  “We gotta get out of here. They’re here. We have to go.”

  “Who’s here?”

  “The police, Em. It’s a raid. Come on. Let’s move!”

  Police? Now she was fully awake. “What do we do?”

  “We get out of here. If they catch us, we’ll be charged with vagrancy.”

  Em jumped to her feet, sending a shock of pain from her ankle up to her knee, but she shook it off.

  “Are you all right to make a run for it?” Jay looked skeptical, but she knew it wasn’t really a question.

  “Yes.”

  “Take these.” Jay tried to hand her the crutches, but she waved them off.

  “They’ll slow me down. I can’t run on crutches.”

  “But, your leg—”

  “Will be fine. We’ve got bigger problems. Let’s get out of here.”

  They stopped in the hall long enough to check Ace and Skunk’s room, but they were both gone. Just as they reached the top of the stairs, the front door burst open and two uniformed men stepped inside. Jay pressed Em against the wall beside him and they watched the officers from the shadows.

  “What do we do now?” Em whispered.

  One of the officers roamed the first floor rooms, while the second stood watch at the front door—blocking the only way out.

  “Take this.” Jay shoved a blanket he must have snatched from the room into her arms. “When they leave, you run for it. Head toward Sam’s.”

  “Where will you be?”

  “I’m gonna draw them off.”

  “You can’t. Jay, if they catch you—”

  “They won’t. Listen to me, Em. We’re not getting out of here unless we run and right now I’m a hell of a lot faster than you . . . and them. So, quit worrying and get ready to move. I will meet you at Sam’s. Do you understand?”

  “But, Jay—”

  “Tell me you understand what I’m saying, Em.”

  “I understand.”

  “Good. Now get ready. As soon as they follow me out of here, you go. And you don’t look back.”

  “Jay—” Em tried and failed to keep the whine out of her voice. She didn’t want him to go. She didn’t want to be left alone. She couldn’t lose him. Not again.

  Jay’s warm hand wrapped around hers and gave it a quick squeeze. “I’ll see you soon.”

  He held her a moment longer and then turned and flew down the staircase. At the bottom, he didn’t hesitate to run straight through the man at the front door, sending him to the ground on the front porch. The officer sent up a cry and the second joined him. In moments, they had both disappeared out of the house, chasing after Jay.

  Hugging the blanket close to her chest, Em rushed downstairs and out onto the dark street. She broke into a jog as soon as her feet hit the sidewalk and didn’t stop until her leg threatened to give out. Hobbling into a dim alley, she leaned against the filthy wall and sucked in lungful’s of oxygen. She’d give herself five minutes to get it together. Who knew living on the street required the ability to run sporadic marathons in the middle of the night?

  When her breathing finally returned to normal, she stepped back out onto the sidewalk and nearly stroked out when a hand closed around her arm.

  “Whoa. Whoa. It’s me.” Jay grabbed her arm again to steady her and this time she didn’t fight him. “You okay?”

  “Where are the police?”

  “I lost them. I told you not to worry. It wasn’t even hard to do.”

  Jay smirked, but Em’s still pounding heart kept her from finding the humor in the situation.

  “What will they do? About the squat?”

  Jay sobered. “They’ll board it up. And they’ll watch it. We can’t go back there. Not for a while.”

  “Then, what do we do? Where are we going to go?”

  “Right now? We go get some breakfast.”

  Chapter Twenty-nine

  Jay

  He knew he hadn’t fooled her. The situation they’d just found themselves in was serious and she wasn’t an idiot. Still, he hated to make her worry. As they wandered the pre-dawn streets toward Sam’s, Jay wracked his brain for a solution. Losing your squat was just about the worst thing that could happen out here any time of year, but now—with winter just around the corner—it could be fatal.

  Em didn’t say a word the entire way and he knew what that meant. She was worrying, quietly. But for now, he appreciated it. He needed to think, and if she asked a question, he didn’t want to lie to her. She was walking so close to his side that he actually felt it when her body began to tremble. He didn’t know if it was from fear or the cold, and cursed himself for not being able to do much about either. Taking the blanket from her, he draped it around her shoulders. She silently snuggled into it and kept walking. She knew what he needed, and she was doing her best to give it to him. Time. Time to figure things out.

  “Hey.” Em tugged him to a stop, dragging him from his thoughts, and pointed across the street. “There’s Ace.”

  Jay followed her line of sight and sure enough, there were both Ace and Skunk, headed back to the squat after a long night of partying. Shit. This was going to be an annoying conversation, but he couldn’t just let them walk into trouble.

  “Hey! Guys!” Leaving Em on the sidewalk, he rushed out into the street, not even bothering to check for cars. A couple of horns honked at him, but he made it to the other side in one piece.

  “Yo, Jay! What’s up, man?” Skunk stumbled to a stop and Ace practically plowed into him, causing them both to laugh so hard they doubled over, slapping each other on the back and apologizing profusely. Oh yeah, definitely an annoying conversation. They were decent enough guys, but he did not have time for this right now.

  “Listen, we got a problem. Cops raided the squat last night.”

  “You’re shitting me.” Skunk was the first to recover.

  “No, man. Em and I had to make a run for it, but they’re sitting on the place. We can’t go back there.”

  “Where is Em?” Ace scanned the sidewalk, but from the way his eyes were glazed over, Jay doubted he was seeing much. He liked Em, a little too much for Jay’s taste.

  “She’s fine. She’s actually waiting for me, so I gotta run. Just wanted to give ya a heads up.”

  “Right. Thanks, man. Where you headed?” Skunk slapped him on the shoulder.

  “
Breakfast.” And please do not come with us.

  “Right. Well, looks like we’re off to find a new damn squat. This sucks, man.” Skunk didn’t seem to really be talking to him anymore, so Jay took the chance to bail.

  “Good luck with that. See ya around.” With a quick nod to each of them, he slipped back across the street.

  When he reached Em, her face had gone pale and she was staring at him like he’d lost his mind.

  “What? What happened?”

  “What happened?” Jay cringed at her near screech level volume. He was obviously missing something. “You just ran out into the road! In front of all of those cars!” The blanket dipped off of her shoulder as she pulled her arm free. “You. Could. Have. Been. Killed.” She punctuated each word with, what he was sure she thought was, a tough punch to his arm. In reality, it felt more like being hit with a Nerf dart and he had to really work to conceal a smile.

  She was right. It had been a stupid move. And she didn’t exactly have a great track record with crossing streets, so he understood her fear. He’d just been in such a rush to get it over with so he could get back to worrying about what really mattered that he hadn’t really thought about it.

  “I’m sorry. You’re right. From now on, I promise to look both ways before I cross any streets.” His smile slipped loose and a laugh came along with it. “I’ll even let you hold my hand.”

  Em punched him once more for good measure, but she wasn’t having any better luck concealing her grin than he was.

  “All right. Come on, Rambo. I’m starving.”

  ***

  Sam was just opening the doors when they arrived.

  “You two are here early. Rough night?” Sam ushered them inside and made sure they each got a cup of coffee.

  “You could say that.” Jay didn’t elaborate, and just like always, Sam didn’t pry.

  The shop was emptier than usual, so they lingered, eating their breakfast in a back corner and soaking in as much warmth as they could. It was going to be a long, cold day. But the longer they stood there, the more time Em had to think. And the more she thought, the quieter she got. All of the playfulness from earlier was gone, replaced with a look of distress so strong it strangled Jay to see on her. She was chewing her bottom lip hard enough that he was afraid she’d break the skin, and her fingers were practically knotted in her hair.