Boys

by Ella Hickson

  BENNY. What’s your costume?

  MACK. I’m Tinkerbell. I’ve just got very tiny wings. I’d prefer it if you didn’t draw attention to them – I’m pretty self-conscious about it.

  Beat.

  TIMP. Look! Fucking look at that – (Spots a crumpled up old ironing board under all the mess.) You remember this?

  SOPHIE. Tobog-ironing!

  MACK. The tobog-iron!

  LAURA. I can’t see – show me!

  No one shows her.

  Timp – can – we, can I /

  TIMP. Calton Hill – fucking king of the slopes on this bad boy; could have gone professional.

  LAURA. That was the night we had the snow party.

  SOPHIE (sings). Snow-body does it better!

  TIMP (kissing and playing with LAURA). You got your little party-Nazi out.

  LAURA. Can I get up now?

  MACK (robot voice). ‘Dance. Dance, everybody dance or I’ll kill you, what’s the point of a party unless you dance. Ahhhh, do not sit down, I will annoy you. Do not sit down, I will annoy you.’

  SOPHIE. Wasn’t the only thing you got out.

  LAURA. Oh God don’t.

  SOPHIE. If you don’t dance I’ll get my rat out!

  LAURA. What can I say? I’m a woman of my word. Please can I get up? Timp, it’s starting to itch.

  SOPHIE. Right in the middle of the dance floor.

  TIMP. That you did, I was so proud.

  SOPHIE. Benny, didn’t you get off with Cat Logan that night?

  BENNY. Did I?

  BENNY walks over – silently whilst the hubbub goes on around him and he begins to take all the sushi off LAURA. There’s something gentle about it – he removes it all – plates it all up and helps her up to her feet. When he’s done – LAURA looks at him a moment – kisses him on the head, he nods at her.

  SOPHIE. She’d come dressed as the devil – which made no fucking sense, bless her – and was completely covered in red paint.

  TIMP. Fuck – yeah I remember this. It was fucking brilliant! Cam had taken those mushrooms and was going all spacky trying to lift up the carpet looking for little people. Little people! Oooh, little people – you remember that, Mack? (Suddenly pointing to MACK.)

  MACK. Fuck off.

  TIMP. We’re at – at – aaa fuck where was it, it was brilliant –

  MACK. Massa.

  TIMP. We’re in Massa – sittin’ in those booths, you know – all dark – and this one is fuck-faced – and he’s talking to this girl. She’s like, you want to come home with me – Mack’s all – yeah yeah – so she shimmies out of the fucking booth and his eyes nearly pop out – she’s only a fucking little person – a dwarf – she was tiny – very fucking funny that was.

  SOPHIE. Benny – don’t you remember you got off with Cat Logan in the shower and all her body paint went everywhere?

  MACK. Cam burst in here – turns the music off and is like ‘There’s been a murder! There’s been a murder in the shower!’ He fucking believed it too – look on his face.

  BENNY. That wasn’t Cam. It wasn’t Cam that took the mushrooms and ran in, it was /

  TIMP. Then you walking in looking like you’d gone five rounds with a fucking Rottweiler.

  LAURA. Which basically you had. Cat Logan is a dog, no two ways – she fucked Mike Elliot and tried to use Scotch as lube.

  MACK. Fuck off?

  TIMP. He had to go to A+E. Stingy todger.

  LAURA. Poor wee guy – worst thing about it was it was a bottle of Balvenie twelve-year-old his dad had got him for his twenty-first. If I were him I have spent the next three weeks sucking on my bedsheets.

  TIMP (sings). Once, twice – three time a laydeee – and I looove you!

  LAURA. Fucking Balvenie twelve-year-old, you know what that costs?

  TIMP. Who wants more disco biscuits?

  TIMP starts handing out pills.

  BENNY. It wasn’t Cam that ran in.

  TIMP. Come on, you!

  BENNY. No.

  SOPHIE. I remember you two meeting. It was in Stereo; we’d only just met you.

  MACK. I met you at football.

  TIMP. I remember thinking fucking students – bunch of fucking layabouts no thanks.

  MACK. Right.

  TIMP. Never done an honest day’s fucking work.

  SOPHIE. Anyway – you looking across the bar and going ‘Oh shit – that’s it – I’m fucked.’ I took a step back cos I thought you meant you were going to be sick.

  LAURA. You said that?

  TIMP. Can’t remember.

  SOPHIE. I remember it exactly – you said it like there was nothing you could do about it. It was amazing.

  LAURA. Oh, Timp. That is, Timp – that is /

  TIMP. Alright alright it’s not fucking Jeremy Kyle.

  BENNY. We have to get rid of this.

  TIMP. I told you we’re waiting till we all come up – we’ll be like twenty times faster. We’ll have it all done in no time – all of us lot – if we’re high, five minutes, tops. Like Billy Whizz.

  MACK. Billy the Kid?

  TIMP. Billy Whizz – the fucking Beano.

  MACK. Who’s Billy Whizz?

  BENNY. All of us – we have to all lift it, because I can’t – not on my own.

  SOPHIE. You alright, Ben?

  MACK. He’s fine.

  A pissed, hazy drunken hum continues – dancing, laughing – MACK looks on, TIMP cackles and jokes – LAURA fawns over TIMP. As they get high – and smoke fills the room – it gets hotter and hotter – they start sweating, gurning, sweat pouring off them – it sweats, it thumps – laughing, smoking – sitting, eyes rolling. There is a sense that it could always be this way – nothing forward, nothing backwards – there is something utopian and yet claustrophobic, this should last for just long enough that we feel it may never change. BENNY just sits – looking at it all – feeling increasingly desperate.

  CAM enters, still in his suit – carrying his violin, he is excited – bursting with success. He looks at the scene – he seems so composed, so smart. For a moment the others do not see him – they continue to sway and stagger and for a moment it looks as if CAM might want to leave.

  BENNY. Cam! Cam! Cam! Cam!

  CAM. Alright, Benny?

  BENNY. How was it?

  TIMP spontaneously rugby-tackles CAM to the floor.

  LAURA. You look like a little penguin! Doesn’t he look like a little penguin?

  CAM tries to get up, TIMP rolls around laughing – CAM can’t help but laugh.

  Like he’s on ice – look at him – trying to, it’s like Bambi. Bambi!

  CAM. What the hell happened in here?

  TIMP. We’re tidying; we’re just at the bit where it gets worse before it gets better.

  SOPHIE. How was it? How did it go?

  BENNY goes over and takes his hand – desperate to hear him speak.

  BENNY. Tell us it went okay.

  MACK. Anyone want another beer?

  BENNY. Will you tell us?

  SOPHIE. Give him a second.

  CAM. God – it’s nice to be back here. It was fucking intense.

  BENNY. Will you tell us?

  TIMP. Go on then – tell us how it went, you little homo.

  CAM. It was – pretty amazing. I’ve never – I was really fucking nervous but… I don’t think I’ve ever seen that many people – I mean except for football matches, but…

  BENNY. Did you play well? The stars – the guy with the stars on his knees – the Russian – did he – did you impress everyone? Did they clap?

  CAM recounts the evening but there is something about his passion, his excitement that cools everyone else a little – as if he has brought a draught in from outside.

  CAM. I was so fucking nervous, I kept having to dry my hands, I swear I was actually sweating through my fingertips and I was so worried I was going to… but you know waiting to walk out there and you can just about see all those people and the lights are real bright and �
� fuck, my heart’s still beating like the fucking – and you stand there and you see the glint on glasses and the odd grin but not much else so you’re not really sure that they’re there and – they start clapping and man – that many people – and the noise, the noise was so loud it make the stage shake a little bit, I felt it through my feet, the clapping, it was mad. And all the moisture goes out your mouth and suddenly you’re standing in front of them and it’s dead dead silent and – that was sort of the best bit – just when I was about to play and my bow is just a wee way off the strings – just waiting there – hovering – and it’s there and you’re still and then you hear this little tiny noise, this little fucking seat creak and you realise that fucking hundreds of people just leant in – just a fraction – to hear what you’re going to do next – waiting for you to start.

  Beat.

  TIMP. You did your thing?

  CAM. Aye – I did my thing.

  TIMP. Big old hoo-ha after?

  CAM. Aye – big old hoo-ha after.

  TIMP. Well there we go – lovely jubbers. Pass me a beer, Mack.

  Everyone goes back to their own business – CAM stands a moment, unsure whether to join in. BENNY sits still looking at CAM wanting more.

  MACK. What am I a fucking vending machine?

  TIMP. Well if you will stand by the fridge.

  LAURA. Come dance – Cam.

  LAURA grabs him and spins him round and round, then puts him down and wanders back to TIMP.

  CAM (almost shouting). Everyone fucking talking to me and offering me shit and that guy – the Russian –

  SOPHIE. Oop – exotic.

  CAM. He wants to teach me – one on one – in fucking Vienna – I don’t even know where that is!

  TIMP. It’s not anywhere near here.

  CAM. They all stood and clapped and – it was – it was – great. It was really really great. (Pause.) You guys are totally fucked.

  BENNY nods.

  TIMP hands CAM a rolled note and indicates a plate with coke on it.

  TIMP. Go on – get your snout in that, wonderboy.

  CAM does a line.

  BENNY sees that CAM is a little disjointed – apart – BENNY goes to hug CAM. CAM steps back – takes his tie off and directs his attention to the rest of the group. BENNY stands alone.

  CAM. Let’s fucking party!

  LAURA. Are we going to get to say we knew you when you were younger when we’re older?

  BENNY looks out of the window.

  BENNY. Cam, did you see what the white vans were? Cam?

  CAM parties in with the rest of them, not wanting to be left out.

  CAM. They’re police vans.

  BENNY. What? Why?

  CAM. Don’t know – they’re parked right down Princes Street – helmets and batons the lot. Must be a march or something; fuck knows.

  TIMP. Benny – come on!

  TIMP holds out a pill on his finger.

  Come on – gobble gobble.

  BENNY. Why are there police vans? Is something happening?

  TIMP. Come on – swallow some smiles.

  MACK still at one side watching BENNY all the time.

  SOPHIE approaches MACK – drunk – dancing – being overtly provocative. MACK desperately tries to contain her – to shut her down.

  SOPHIE. Come on, grumpy – let’s dance.

  MACK looks at SOPHIE with threat.

  Change the track, Timp.

  MACK. I’m alright, Sophs.

  SOPHIE. Come on.

  TIMP. Batting above your average, Mack.

  MACK. I’m alright – thanks.

  SOPHIE. Don’t make a girl beg.

  MACK. Honestly – I’m –

  SOPHIE begins being pretty explicit with MACK.

  Stop it.

  LAURA catches sight and tries to pull SOPHIE away.

  SOPHIE. I’m mucking around.

  LAURA. Sophs? Don’t.

  BENNY catches sight.

  BENNY. I wouldn’t touch him with a bargepole, Sophs – you might catch something.

  TIMP. Bargepole? You joking? Toothpick more like.

  SOPHIE. As if I would.

  TIMP. I bet you’re horrible in the sack, Macky.

  MACK. Horrendous.

  BENNY. I bet it’s with his eyes closed and his teeth clenched and thinking furiously of his mother.

  MACK. Spot on.

  LAURA. You ever been in love, Mack?

  TIMP. Ah, come on – as if!

  MACK starts to laugh.

  BENNY. Have ya – have you ever been in love?

  TIMP. Only with toddlers.

  SOPHIE. What?

  CAM. Didn’t you hear about last night? He fucked a seventeen-year-old.

  Beat.

  SOPHIE. You did what?

  BENNY. Go on Mack – tell us.

  Pause – the others, excited – willing MACK to speak.

  MACK. You won’t guess what Timp did.

  SOPHIE pours herself a shot and knocks it back.

  TIMP glares at MACK.

  Timp was fucking hilarious he /

  LAURA. What did you do, babe?

  BENNY. Mack fucked a drunk seventeen-year-old. Didn’t you, Mack?

  SOPHIE. Did you? That’s funny – God, Mack – what are you like?

  MACK. I – I –

  MACK stands looking at SOPHIE, a glass in his hand not able to move.

  BENNY. Proud of it ’n’ all – thinks he did her a favour, gave her what she asked for. Didn’t ya?

  CAM. She did say please.

  SOPHIE. Oh, in that case.

  LAURA. What did you do?

  TIMP. I got my cock out.

  LAURA. Boring.

  SOPHIE. Was it good?

  BENNY. Yeah – was it?

  MACK throws his glass against a wall and it smashes.

  CAM. Fucking hell!

  MACK laughs wildly.

  SOPHIE stands stock still.

  TIMP throws a bag of icing sugar all over MACK.

  TIMP stares at MACK, the threat of violence is palpable.

  Beat.

  They break – they laugh.

  TIMP. You’re a fucking mentalist!

  MACK gasping – gulping for air, still stares at SOPHIE.

  MACK (snapping – wild). You want to dance – let’s fucking dance!

  BENNY. Did it make you feel like a man?

  MACK. Shall we – shall we! Turn it up – Timp – come on! Hey! You fucking remember – down south we went to Alton Towers for the day – we fucking remember this and I’m sitting next to Benny-boy – and we’re waiting for this ride to kick off right and he’s so fucking scared of this rollercoaster, such a fucking softy – he starts – he starts singing to himself – he starts singing – (Sings a couple of lines from ‘I Just Can’t Wait to be King’ from Walt Disney’s The Lion King.) Fucking put it on, Timp, find it, let’s dance – let’s have a fucking dance!

  TIMP starts looking for the track – CAM delighted by the hysteria starts leaping around with MACK – they start singing the song – MACK knows the words.

  You remember, Benny – you remember how you cried?

  SOPHIE. Stop it, Mack.

  BENNY. You know the words.

  MACK. Like a little lion all scared and /

  BENNY. You took my hand and you sang it with me and you said I’d be alright – cos you knew I fucking hated heights.

  There is a beat – MACK and BENNY look at each other for moment whilst the dancing leaps around them, there is something impossibly tender about it – but MACK can’t stomach it – he belts out another line of the song. Pandemonium ensues – MACK drags everyone into the song – they are all singing. MACK gets to SOPHIE who looks up at him intensely – with one arm he pulls her up and close to him so their faces are almost touching – and he shakes his head to say ‘no’ –

  No one else sees this – MACK then turns her away and carries on chanting for people to get up and dance. He is wild, untameable – a chant begins that
sees him leaping from chair to chair – the distances are dangerous, the act is daring.

  ALL. Mack! Mack! Mack!

  He leaps.

  BENNY stands apart, silently watching.

  BENNY. It wasn’t Cam that ran in from the shower…

  MACK. Come and dance – Benny-boy.

  ALL. Mack! Mack! Mack!

  He leaps.

  BENNY. I don’t want to dance.

  ALL. Mack! Mack! Mack!

  He leaps.

  BENNY (louder). I don’t want to dance!

  ALL. Mack! Mack! Mack!

  He leaps.

  BENNY (louder still). I don’t want to dance!

  MACK tries to leap a final time but he has arrived at the chair that has not yet been touched. MACK goes to leap and he can’t – he can’t touch it – everybody stops – the moment is too great to ignore.

  Beat.

  I want to know why my brother killed himself.

  Lights down.

  Scene Four

  It still isn’t dark – the husky blue of twilight lingers in the air. Debris from the party can be seen but the kitchen is empty, except for BENNY who sits alone at the kitchen table. He gets up and goes over to look out of the window.

  CAM enters – he’s still in his shirt from the concert but has now paired it with shorts.

  CAM lingers by the door.

  BENNY. Eh-up.

  CAM. Hi.

  BENNY. Y’alright?

  CAM. Yeah.

  BENNY. Where you all hiding?

  CAM. Bathroom. Not hiding – just they wanted a bath. Cold water or –

  BENNY. Probably figured lions don’t like water, big cats, aren’t they?

  CAM. What?

  BENNY. Nothing.

  CAM. It’s nice, it’s like kids – we’re doing bubble beards. You should come.

  BENNY. I’m alright.

  Beat.

  CAM. Those pills were shit, eh? Can’t feel a thing – Timp reckons they’re duds. Everyone’s mellow as fuck.

  BENNY. I guess there’s a mood.

  Beat.

  CAM. I wanted to say thank you.

  BENNY. What for?

  CAM. Earlier – for making me go.

  BENNY. You would have gone anyway. You seen this?

  CAM. Are there more than earlier?

  BENNY. Yeah – been building all night; hundreds of them. (Beat.) Exciting, Vienna though – great that is. Only way is up. It’s good.

  CAM comes over and looks out the window with BENNY.

  CAM. What are they doing? They’re just standing there.