by Marni Mann
His back abruptly straightened. His lids then squinted as if he was trying to read me. “What about him?”
I could tell by his expression that he knew I wasn’t talking about the renovation work anymore. “I hear you used to be friends.”
Brady’s warning continued to resonate but I ignored it. Saint and I were just chatting…there was nothing wrong with that. The truth was I didn’t care if they had been friends. I just wanted to keep him talking. I wanted more from him.
And no matter how much I tried to fight that feeling, the desire wouldn’t leave.
I thought about David and how I felt nothing for him—whatever had been there was gone. I didn’t even want his friendship, which was why I still hadn’t returned his calls. But there was something about Saint that I already couldn’t get enough of…and I’d hardly spent any time with him. I hadn’t even tasted him yet.
He stood, his fingers lifting off Bella. He slid them into his pockets, and a deep laugh followed. I couldn’t tell if it was an honest reaction or as sarcastic as Brady’s had been. “He told you that?”
I nodded.
“That kid’s got fucking balls.”
I was still clinging to the rock, motionless. My body was starting to go cold. My fingers released and I glided out a foot into the water, treading to warm my limbs again. “It’s true, then?” He didn’t answer, which told me everything I needed to know. “So what happened between you two?”
“It would just be a story to you, Drew. One of many.” I didn’t know what that meant. His eyes didn’t give me any clues. And when I opened my mouth to ask, he cut me off. “You’re shivering.” His teeth bit down into his bottom lip. “You better get back to your swim.”
“You’re not going to join me?”
I regretted the invitation as soon as it left my lips. I didn’t need Saint in the water with me. This was my space. Being that close to him, I didn’t know what feelings would be drawn from me or how I’d react to them.
He shook his head. “Not tonight. Goodnight, Drew.”
He turned his back to me and started walking down the rocks. When he reached the end, the moon illuminated his back and the ink that covered it. There was no question what it was, even in the subdued light I could distinguish the rectangular cages, all aligned in rows that ran the entire length and width of his back. Why would he have chosen to have cages permanently marked on his skin?
And why did I even care?
CHAPTER TEN
I COULDN’T HELP BUT THINK this town was loaded with secrets and considering I had unknown family members, I knew my mom fit into it all somehow—and in some fucked-up guilt-by-association way, so did I. I was still so torn about how much I really wanted to know. It wouldn’t bring my parents back; I couldn’t ask the Coswells for details. And as far as I knew, my aunt still hadn’t returned Paul’s inquiry.
And now, the mystery extended beyond my family.
Whatever had happened between Saint and Brady wasn’t my business, but there was a chance it would show me a little more about this puzzling man who had the ability to create silence. I didn’t know what I found so interesting about him; I barely knew more than his name and his tattoos. But something strong was pulling me to him. Only two days had passed since he’d interrupted my swim. It felt like it had been much longer than that…too long, actually. And it had taken everything I had not to join him in the water last night.
I knew the best thing for me was to get out of this state as quickly as possible. There was nothing here for me except a past that might be too ugly to risk digging up, some people I didn’t really need to know, and memories that were most likely better off dying with my mother. But I was stuck here for a few more months so I had to make the most of it. That included changing the way I ate. For the last ten days, I’d been living off coffee, tiny amounts of peanut butter and bagels. My body couldn’t keep running on that, considering I’d almost passed out after my morning swim. So when Irving, the man who owned the corner store, asked if I’d eaten in any of the restaurants around town, I told him I hadn’t and that I needed some recommendations. I figured going out would force me to eat more. He patted me on the shoulder and said, “There’s lots of seafood pounds around here, but that Trap House is the best. I bet you’ve never had no lobster like it.” I’d wandered into the town’s village several times and walked Bella up and down its few streets, but hadn’t seen a sign for that one. I made it a point to seek it out.
Since it was still tourist season and the restaurant didn’t take reservations, I opted for lunch thinking it would be less busy. I loaded Bella into the backseat and drove into downtown. It was only a few miles from the Coswells’ place, a small, quaint Main Street with all the roads running down to the water. The shops looked like little houses with their white siding, green and blue shutters and ornate trim work. People rode bicycles on the sidewalks; parents pulled their children in red wagons. All the dogs smelled Bella as we passed.
The back of the Trap House faced the water, with a dock sitting off to the side. Antique brown siding covered the building and different colored buoys hung from it as decoration. I knew they wouldn’t allow Bella inside, so I chose one of the picnic tables behind the restaurant. But first I stopped at the hostess stand to request Rae as my waitress. She was Irving’s niece and he really wanted us to meet.
I settled in at the table as Bella took a comfortable spot next to me. A waitress soon approached with a glass in one hand and a bowl of water in the other. “It’s not as sweet as the tea you Florida folks love,” she said, placing the glass in front of me and the bowl on the ground next to Bella. “But it’s all we’ve got.”
“Rae?” I asked. “Rae Ryan?”
She nodded and confirmed with a big smile. “It’s so nice to meet you, Drew. My uncle has told me all about you…as much as he knows, at least.”
“Nice to meet you, too.”
Irving had told me that Rae was two years younger than I was. She was several inches taller with a frame a little leaner than mine; her straight, golden blonde hair was worn in a high ponytail and the striking white of her teeth set off her dark coffee eyes. But those eyes didn’t show the happiness that her smile did. I couldn’t help but wonder if it had something to do with her scar. It started at the corner of her right eyelid and circled her entire cheek, stopping just before her top lip. The center was filled with smaller swirls and jagged edges, as if her skin had been repeatedly mangled and hacked rather than being sewn together where it had split. She angled her body in such a way that her unmarked cheek faced me. I didn’t stare at either.
“And Miss Bella, I’ve heard lots of good things about you, too,” Rae said, reaching down to brush her fingers over Bella’s furry head. Bella’s tail wagged in response and her ears tilted back. She even started panting.
“She likes you,” I said.
Bella liked everyone, I just didn’t know what else to say to Rae. New people typically asked a lot of questions. I was just waiting for it to begin. There weren’t many I’d be willing to answer at the moment… not when all of my recent stories had ended in someone’s death.
“Well I like you too, girl.” She pulled her fingers away and grabbed a pen from her apron. “So what can I get you?”
I skimmed the menu, which was printed on the paper place mat. “What’s your favorite?”
“There’s only one thing to get here, of course. That’s the lobster. Some get it boiled or baked stuffed. I prefer a lobster roll. It’s less messy and all the work is done for you.”
“Does the roll come with fries?” I asked. She nodded. “Sounds perfect.”
She kept smiling as she wrote down my order, and even spoke through smiling lips when she told me she’d be back in a few minutes. I wondered if that was part of her waitressing act or if it was something extra added for my benefit.
Bella lay on the rocks by my feet and I leaned back onto the bench, crossing my legs, wrapping my arms around my stomach. I wished I had a sw
eater. It was much cooler by the open water than it was at the house. It was also much busier. Several boats passed by, all different sizes and shapes. One even pulled up to the dock. The driver tied a rope around one of the rails and turned off the engine. Once the boat was secure, he unloaded at least ten coolers, stacking them onto the dock. Then he climbed out, pulling himself up the wooden ladder, and I saw more than just the top of his head. Tingles immediately burst through my belly.
Saint…
Bella noticed him as well, and her tail reacted, thumping against the ground with each wag.
Rae ran down the dock to meet him, picking up one of the coolers and carrying it inside. A second waitress did the same and the two girls continued to make trips until they were all brought in.
He’s tied to this restaurant, too?
Saint busied himself with cleaning the boat, spraying it down with a hose and scrubbing it with a long brush. The only time my stare broke from him was when Rae dropped off my food. I looked away long enough to seem casual about it as I thanked her.
The lobster roll came in a red plastic basket, fries filling the entire bottom. The roll was set on top, at least twice the size of a normal hot dog roll and overflowing with what must have been more than a pound of meat, lightly mixed with mayo and a few pieces of lettuce.
“This is…insane,” I told her.
She stood at the table, waiting for my reaction. “Isn’t it? It’s also great for breakfast…just mix in a few eggs with your leftovers.” The smile was back. I wasn’t sure if it had ever left. “I’ll go ahead and grab you a to-go box during my next trip out. Be sure to save room for dessert. We’re also known for our blueberry cobbler and our whoopie pies.”
“Whoopie what?”
A piece of her hair stuck to her lip gloss when she laughed. It was a light pink and the perfect shade for her fair skin. “I’ll grab you one of those, too.” She added a wink to her grin, and turned to head back inside.
While Bella gazed at me and silently begged for a piece of lobster, my eyes drifted over to Saint. He had two boats…I hadn’t seen this one at his grandparents’ house. He must park it somewhere else. My mind wandered past the obvious questions about what he did for work. I even wondered what was in the coolers, as if it wasn’t obvious. But those questions were just thoughts to ward off the loneliness. Until this moment, I had never eaten at a restaurant by myself. I wasn’t even sure I was comfortable doing it now. Bella did make it easier with her face resting on my knee, her begging becoming louder. So instead of fighting my mind against the tugging thoughts of my parents, the issues that had arisen this morning during one of the repairs, and Gianna’s most recent text to ensure I was eating, I focused completely on Saint.
It wasn’t terribly difficult to do.
He had such a better body than David, and in the full light of day I could see it in much greater detail. His back muscles shifted and flexed beneath his thin T-shirt as he shook the nozzle on the hose; his biceps tightened when he leaned into the boat. His tattoos peeked out at the end of his sleeves. They were blue waves and each crest was outlined in white. Those were the details I had missed the other night.
“Now that is a whoopie pie,” Rae said, pulling my attention away from Saint to the cake-like lump that she placed in front of me. “It was baked this morning, so it’s fresh and yummy…I know because I had one for lunch.”
I tilted the plate and realized it was more of a sandwich, with two disks of chocolate cake holding white frosting in between. I used to have a serious sweet tooth, but I hadn’t had one lately. I guess that had dissolved with the rest of my appetite.
I pushed the lobster roll to the side and cut off a piece of the whoopie pie. I stuck it in my mouth while Rae watched.
“It’s wicked, right?”
I nodded, covering my lips with the back of my hand. “Wow. Yes.” I cut off another piece and took a second bite. I could no longer remember why I hadn’t been eating chocolate. This wasn’t just good; it was amazing. The cake wasn’t overpowering. It was rich and moist. The icing wasn’t too sugary, and there was just enough of it.
Rae laughed as she watched me. It was a light, carefree sound, much the opposite of the pain that seemed to emanate from her eyes. “I’ll get your check.”
“Wait, Rae…can I ask you something?” I hated to put down my fork, but I did. I also hated to ask this question, but something was driving me to find the answer.
“Sure,” she said. “What’s up?”
I nodded toward Saint. My interest was now more than simple curiosity. “Does he work here or something?”
Her eyes followed my nod and landed on Saint before they came back to me. “Yeah. His grandparents own this restaurant, and he owns the boats.”
“He…fishes?”
She responded with an even brighter smile. “He caught what you ate for lunch.”
So he was a lobster fisherman. That wasn’t what I expected, not that I had any idea of what he did or even knew enough to guess. Maybe that explained his build and the size of his muscles since I assumed it was rigorous work, and why he spent so much time in the water.
“And he uses that small little boat to catch lobsters?” I asked.
Unless her expression was a lie, she seemed genuinely eager to answer anything I asked.
“No. That boat is just a dinghy that he takes back and forth. His lobster boats are much farther out and he doesn’t pull them up to the dock.”
I reached for my fork and stuck another bite in my mouth to stop myself from talking. For some reason I really did care what Saint did for a living and why he was at the restaurant and what boat he used. But Rae didn’t need to know that.
“I’ll get your check,” she said.
“Thank you.”
I glanced over at Saint, and he was busy wrapping up the hose and putting the brush away. If he planned on heading into the restaurant, there would be no way he’d miss me. I was sitting directly in the path that he’d have to take to the door. Did I want him to stop and talk to me, or did I hope that Rae hurried up with my check?
I knew I wanted the silence that he brought whenever he was close to me.
“Here you go,” Rae said, placing the handwritten check in front of me. I scanned it quickly and handed her cash. “Let me get you change,” she said.
Just as I was about to tell her to keep it, I felt his eyes on me. It was the same feeling I’d gotten a few nights ago when I was swimming, but it was even more intense this time. And here, I couldn’t hide in the darkness and the black water. I was completely open for his viewing in a short pair of cutoffs and a tank top instead.
He stopped in front of my table as Rae glanced between the two of us. Her expression hadn’t changed, still a beaming smile. Something felt different. I looked up at Saint. In the bright sun, his eyes appeared more gold than caramel and when they traveled over my face, he gently licked his bottom lip, though it didn’t appear dry.
“I’ll be back with—”
“It’s all set,” I said, interrupting Rae. “I don’t need any change.” She thanked me and headed inside, leaving Saint and me completely alone.
His hands went to Bella’s head, scratching behind her ears and under her chin. “I know she’s not stalking me,” he said, nodding toward her, “but are you?”
“Stalking?” I rolled my eyes. I was sure he couldn’t see through my dark sunglasses, which was probably a good thing. “Wow…”
He shrugged. “You’ve invaded my restaurant, after taking over my water. If I didn’t know better…”
What the hell?
“Your water? My swimming hasn’t stopped you from getting in that ocean every night.”
I realized what I just admitted and the expression he wore showed he recognized it, too. His eyes narrowed and his lips turned into a slight grin.
“I don’t like to share what’s mine, Drew.”
I didn’t like what those words or their tone did to my stomach. And I definitely didn’
t like the way his gold irises seemed to penetrate straight through my skin. If this was banter, he was playing it much cooler than I was.
“I don’t think you have to,” I answered, straightening my back and once again wrapping my arms around my stomach. “There’s plenty of water in front of your grandparents’ house to swim in. Hell, you don’t even have to see me or cross my lane.”
His lids stayed narrowed, but an emotion had entered his face, his eyes. It was one I recognized. One I could relate to. “Is that where you want me? Away from your lane?”
The questions caught me off guard. I couldn’t tell if he was kidding or if he actually expected me to answer. Either way, nothing more was coming out of my mouth today. I’d already revealed enough. So I stood from the table with Bella’s leash in my hand and gave him the best smile I had. He could take it any way he wanted.
I turned my back to him and moved away from the table without saying good-bye. But several paces toward the parking lot, I heard him call out behind me, “I’ll see you tonight.”
I didn’t want to admit it but the sound of that made my heart flutter.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
SAINT DID SEE ME LATER THAT NIGHT. I had jumped into the water at around ten o’clock, knowing it would give me enough time to finish my workout before he got home. But that wasn’t what happened… I was interrupted only a few minutes after I had started. I noticed something moving in the water as I headed back to the peninsula closest to his grandparents’ place. It was too dark to tell what it actually was so I swam toward it cautiously. As I approached, I realized it was Saint’s feet. He was sitting on the rock.
I stopped when I reached the side, clinging to a spot not too far from him. “I thought you didn’t like to share,” I said, pushing my goggles up to my forehead. My hair was knotted on top of my head and I pulled out the elastic, letting my long chocolate locks fall around my face.
“I don’t intend to.” He leaned back and placed his hands behind him, using his palms to hold his weight. It was such a relaxed position. He wasn’t even shivering, despite how cold it was outside and the fact his shorts and wife-beater barely covered him. “I’m just here to watch.”