Oslo

by J. T. Rogers

  SAVIR: You asked for a toast.

  (To Mona) He did, yes?

  (To Larsen) So let me toast.

  LARSEN: Ah. Yes. What I meant was—

  SAVIR: You asked for a toast. So I am going to toast. What is the problem?

  (No one moves. Larsen smiles.)

  LARSEN: None at all.

  (He gestures to Savir: “Be my guest.”)

  SAVIR (Glass raised high): To new friends.

  And to the future. May it be different. And may it come soon.

  A phone rings.

  Mona, alone, speaks out to us.

  MONA: Al-lo?

  (Egeland appears, speaking out to us as well.)

  EGELAND: It’s me. I need you here at the Ministry now.

  MONA: Jan—

  EGELAND: There’s been another leak. My press secretary just called, in a panic. Agence France-Presse is reporting a secret Norwegian channel between Israel and the PLO. A small piece, buried, but our press have read it and they want to know what the fuck is going on.

  You and I have to figure out how we’re going to break this to Holst.

  MONA: You haven’t told him yet?

  EGELAND: No, I called you first.

  MONA: Good. We’re not going to tell him.

  (Silence. They stare outward.)

  EGELAND: . . . Mona.

  MONA: Because this isn’t a problem. If it were, it would be our duty to tell him. But this is not.

  Have your press secretary release a statement: this is all a misunderstanding. Agence France-Presse is clearly referring to the meeting on the Palestinian refugee situation that we—officially and openly—are about to host.

  EGELAND: And the next leak? Because you know there will be one.

  MONA: And we will deal with it then.

  (Silence.)

  We are not lying, Jan. We are choosing our words carefully.

  (Neither moves.)

  Please. Do this for me.

  Borregaard Estate. Reception room. The next morning.

  Savir stands with Hirschfeld and Pundak. Qurie and Asfour are across from them, as Qurie gestures to Toril and Finn who stand in the entranceway.

  QURIE: Come, come!

  (To Savir) You must meet our precious host and hostess. This is—

  SAVIR: Toril, of course. And Finn.

  (To them, in Norwegian) [Good morning. It is nice to meet you.]

  TORIL (To Finn, in Norwegian): [Did you hear that?]

  FINN (To Savir, in Norwegian): [The pleasure is ours.]

  HIRSCHFELD: You speak Norwegian?

  SAVIR: A few sentences. Picked them up on the plane.

  (To Qurie) In our business, one must always be prepared.

  QURIE: You do not know things, because you are new here, but this one, you will discover, cooks like those from above.

  Do I lie, Hassan?

  ASFOUR: Comrade Toril is to food as Vladimir Lenin is to land reform.

  SAVIR (To Toril): Then I await tonight’s meal with feverish anticipation.

  (He bows to her, takes her hand, and kisses it. She beams. Qurie does not.

  The door to the room opens and Larsen strides out.)

  LARSEN: Ah, good. You’re all here.

  Mona sends her regards. She will join us for dinner.

  The room is prepared for today’s session.

  (To Asfour) Dunhill cigarettes . . .

  (To Qurie) Turkish coffee . . .

  (To them all) . . . and copies of the current draft of the DOP.

  QURIE: Is my coffee sweetened, Larsen?

  LARSEN: Of course.

  SAVIR: Pens and pads of paper?

  LARSEN: As requested.

  SAVIR: Good.

  (To Hirschfeld and Pundak) You two are taking notes from now on.

  (Silence. Everyone stares at Savir.)

  HIRSCHFELD: But . . . Ron and I . . . we are the ones, with Abu Ala and Hassan, who created this draft document.

  SAVIR: And I’ve read it and I’m up to speed.

  HIRSCHFELD: Yossi has explicitly instructed us about our duties. I, I must insist that we be allowed / to participate.

  (Savir points behind Hirschfeld.)

  SAVIR: Oh! Look! Look over there! It’s Yossi Beilin!

  Oh, no. I was wrong. He’s not here.

  I am here. And I am in charge.

  (No one moves.

  Savir turns to Qurie. He gestures toward the door to the negotiating room.)

  After you.

  (Qurie and Hassan look at Savir. Then they look at Hirschfeld and Pundak . . .

  Then they turn and walk into the room.

  A moment. Then Hirschfeld walks into the room, followed by Pundak.

  Savir follows them. He looks at Larsen. He winks. He closes the door.)

  In the negotiating room.

  Savir stands on one side of the room, Hirschfeld and Pundak seated behind him, pens and paper in hand. Facing them, on the other side of the room, are Qurie and Asfour.

  Savir picks up a copy of the DOP.

  SAVIR (To Qurie): This DOP, the idea of it was yours, yes?

  QURIE: Yes, it was.

  SAVIR: It is nonbinding, of course, but we are willing to reference it as we go forward.

  QURIE: This Declaration of Principles is not a reference. It is a road map, forged by both sides.

  (Pointing to it) What is your official response to our concrete proposals therein?

  SAVIR: I have no response to an unofficial document.

  What I have is a mandate to negotiate—in full—with you. What you have all done in this room so far is discuss the idea of peace. I have been sent here to try and negotiate an actual peace.

  So, let us put our cards on the table.

  In my country, we see you as terrorists and murderers who wish to drive us into the sea.

  You have killed our athletes in Munich, murdered our schoolchildren in Ma’alot, invaded us and spilled our blood on Yom Kippur, the highest holy day we have, and you call—daily—for our extermination. So you will understand when I say that we do not view you as ideal partners for peace.

  QURIE: Mr. Savir, in my country, we see you as a savage nation whose army shoots our children for sport. Your people—persecuted for your faith, murdered in pogroms—fled to Palestine, where you were met with open arms, and left alone to pray and strive and grow strong. And when you became strong, you burned our homes, drove a million peoples from Palestine, and claimed—to this day—that there was never such a thing as Palestine.

  So you will understand our mistrust of you as “ideal partners for peace.”

  (No one moves. Then:)

  SAVIR: Well, now that we’ve both swung our dicks, let me say this: we are tired of being at war with you. We are committed to ending this cycle of violence and enmity. But I want to be clear. Israel will not sacrifice its security.

  QURIE: And you will never have that security, Mr. Savir, until you make peace with us. For our region of the world will never accept you until we accept you.

  (Savir picks up a copy of the DOP.)

  SAVIR: Much of this we are willing to discuss. But first you must remove your demands in here that you know are impossible.

  QURIE: I can think of no demands we have made that are not eminently possible.

  SAVIR: Israel will not negotiate—in this room, or in any document—over the sovereignty of the city of Jerusalem.

  QURIE: We will never relinquish our right to Jerusalem, just as we will never relinquish our right to a Palestinian State.

  SAVIR: The possibility of a Palestinian State—without Jerusalem as its capital—is a viable topic, if you are willing to drop your further impossible demand that all issues not resolved in this DOP be referred to third-party international arbitration.

  QURIE: You are Goliath to our David; the disparity of power between us is beyond measure. / A neutral arbitrator is essential.

  SAVIR: All right. Okay. Listen. Give me one country that voluntarily cedes national sovereignty l
ike you are proposing we do.

  QURIE: The newly formed European Union comes to mind.

  SAVIR: Not those fucking pansies, I mean a real country.

  You see my point?

  We’ve both got to be flexible here. Otherwise we are just pissing on each other’s shoes, and I only brought one pair, anh?

  ASFOUR: When one travels, comrade, packing too lightly can be dangerous.

  SAVIR (To Asfour): Is that like—what?—one of those pointless Arab sayings? Because I have no fucking idea what that means.

  (To Qurie) We can talk in circles, or we can start to get something done.

  Now, we are willing to relinquish control of Gaza—

  QURIE: Which we will accept, on condition that you relinquish control of Jericho to us at the same time.

  (Savir stares at him.)

  SAVIR: Are you fucking serious?

  QURIE: Gaza alone would make us an island surrounded by a sea of Israeli forces. We must have Jericho as well, for our protection.

  SAVIR: I have been talking of nothing but Israel’s concern for our security, and now you are asking us to give you control of a city twenty kilometers / from Jerusalem?

  QURIE: I am talking about our city in our West Bank. Your country divides my people in two. So we must have a foothold in Gaza and the West Bank.

  SAVIR: We’ll give you Gaza, and when you show you can stop the killing of our soldiers in Gaza, then we will talk about Jericho. (Cutting Qurie off before he can speak) That is from Shimon Peres himself. Take it or leave it.

  QURIE: I leave it. And when you and Peres come to your senses, it will be there for you to pick up, revise, and re-offer.

  SAVIR: The offer is Gaza and Gaza only.

  QURIE: Mr. Savir, perhaps in Tel Aviv, giving orders and negotiating are seen as one and the same. But in Tunis, we understand the difference.

  (Savir and Qurie stare at each other.)

  SAVIR: Abu Ala. We are going to have an interesting time together.

  A shift. Later.

  Larsen and Mona, alone. They face outward.

  LARSEN: Mona! Where are you?

  MONA: I’m on my way, I’ll be there soon.

  LARSEN: But you were to be here before dinner and it is almost midnight!

  MONA: Terje, there are other crises in the world that / I have to deal with.

  LARSEN: Darling, listen to me. Abu Ala and Uri—it is like dealing with two bulls in one china shop. They are knocking back whiskeys, they are pawing the earth, and things are getting a little—(Fluttering his hand) la la la.

  I need you here. Now.

  Borregaard Estate. Later that night. The drawing room.

  Savir is mid-story, surrounded by Hirschfeld and Pundak, Qurie and Asfour, and Larsen and Thor—all with glasses of whiskey.

  SAVIR: Kissinger is standing, right there—in the palace, in Beijing, this momentous summit—just he and Mao.

  (To Qurie) This is the other Chairman, Abu Ala.

  (Laughter as Qurie points his index finger to his eye and then at Savir.)

  Everyone else is gone. They’re the only ones left. And Mao, he is staring at him—eyes locked.

  PUNDAK: My God, what did Kissinger do?

  SAVIR: Exactly what I asked him. You know what he told me? (As Kissinger) “Well, Uri, I met his gaze and I said, ‘Mr. Chairman, as a fellow student of history, what do you think is the most important lesson of the French Revolution?’”

  Mao stares back, and do you know what he said?

  “Too soon to tell.”

  Anh? Anh? I mean, come on! For a communist, that is not fucking bad!

  HIRSCHFELD: How do you know Kissinger, Uri?

  SAVIR: Shimon introduced us. Now, Kissinger and I, we get together, we talk, we drink, we drink some more. It’s a hard life, but someone has to do it.

  THOR: I know Kissinger.

  When he comes to Norway, I run his security detail.

  PUNDAK: So? / And? Tell us.

  HIRSCHFELD: What do you think of him, Thor?

  (Thor looks at Larsen.)

  LARSEN: Absolute discretion—guaranteed.

  THOR (To the room): What a fucking asshole.

  (Laughter; whoops of delight.)

  SAVIR: You say that, my friend, but there’s not a man in this room who doesn’t want an asshole as big as his.

  (Raising his glass) To Kissinger’s asshole: one day, may all of ours be so deep and wide!

  ALL THE MEN (Glasses raised): Deep and wide!

  (As Mona bustles in . . .)

  Mona!

  MONA (To them all): I’m so sorry. Work. Will you forgive me?

  QURIE: It is already done!

  (To the men, pointing to Mona) This one is like a daughter to me; I hold her in my heart.

  MONA (To Savir): How was dinner?

  SAVIR: Abu Ala was right. That woman is a national treasure.

  QURIE: Ah, just you wait. For now we are approaching the hour of the waffles!

  (To the men) Come! We must toast Mona!

  (The men rise to their feet with exuberance.)

  HIRSCHFELD: / Absolutely! We must!

  PUNDAK: Yes, let’s give her a cheer!

  (As Mona starts to protest—)

  SAVIR: No, no, no: we are going to praise you, you cannot stop us!

  (Qurie and the other men raise their glasses as one.)

  QURIE: To Mona. Without her, we are nothing.

  ALL THE MEN: To Mona!

  MONA (To us): The next morning. Only a few working hours remained before Uri would have to rush back to Paris and then to Jerusalem to keep his cover story intact. The clock ticked. They pushed on.

  The next morning. Borregaard Estate. The drawing room.

  As Toril and Finn arrange the room—the door to the negotiating room flies open and Qurie storms out.

  Savir comes out, followed by Asfour and Hirschfeld and Pundak—notepads in hand.

  QURIE: I am packing my bags!

  SAVIR: Abu Ala, we don’t have time for this. My flight leaves in two hours.

  QURIE: And by then we will be gone!

  (Hirschfeld gestures to Toril: “Go get Terje now!”

  As Finn and Toril leave . . .)

  SAVIR: I have been blunt and honest, as a sign of my respect. And I give you my word that we will / consider this.

  QURIE: Your word is written on ice, under the sun!

  Yesterday, in there, you said, “The eventuality of a Palestinian State / is a viable topic for this discussion.”

  SAVIR: I did not . . . I did not!

  “Possibility of a Palestinian State” is what I said.

  (To Pundak) Why are you still writing?!

  PUNDAK: But you said my job is now to / record minutes.

  SAVIR: There, we are negotiating; here, we are off the record: learn the fucking difference!

  (Larsen and Mona enter, followed by Toril and Finn.)

  LARSEN: My friends, please! Lunch is about to be served. It is never good / to argue on an empty stomach.

  SAVIR (To Qurie): You want to discuss the idea of the eventuality of a Palestinian State? Then first you must address our security concerns.

  QURIE: Your “concerns” are demands, and I will not / be demanded to.

  SAVIR: We must have proof that the PLO will cease all terrorist / activities against all Israeli citizens.

  ASFOUR (To Qurie, in Arabic): [He is exactly as I told you he would be. / Give in on nothing else.]

  SAVIR: Hassan, I’m right here! You want to say something about me, say it to me. We are here—finally—to speak to each other, yes? So be a man and do it!

  ASFOUR: You stand there, comrade, with your colonial superiority, dictating what our future will or will not be. Yet somehow with your intelligence service, your army, your nuclear weapons—you are threatened by us.

  So are you the master who must be obeyed or the victim who must be coddled? Because you cannot be both!

  SAVIR: Tell me, Hassan, did you get those talking points mai
led to you from Moscow or did you copy them down yourself?

  ASFOUR: / Your future will be dictated by us! Your nation is surrounded by three-hundred-fifty million of us!

  QURIE: Do not impugn this man’s integrity!

  SAVIR: If you think we are going to roll over on the issue of our security, you are sorely mistaken!

  QURIE: You will have no security until we have our dignity!

  SAVIR: Until we have security, you will have nothing!

  (Simultaneously) You are wallowing in your grievances, just like always!

  QURIE (Simultaneously): Now you reveal your true face! Now we see the scoundrel you are!

  (Larsen steps forward and puts his hand on Qurie’s shoulder. Qurie whirls on Larsen with a roar, arm raised to hit him.

  He freezes, arm in mid-air. No one moves.

  Finally . . .)

  (To Mona) Forgive my outburst. It was unworthy.

  (She stares at him. Silence.)

  Please allow me to make amends.

  (Mona gestures with her head toward Savir.

  Realizing what she means, Qurie gestures back: “No, not that.” She repeats the gesture more forcefully: “Yes, that!”)

  (Turning to Savir) Perhaps you and I . . .

  (Mona gestures to Qurie with her fingers: “Take a walk.”)

  . . . could walk. Together.

  If you wish.

  The estate grounds, moments later.

  As snow falls, Qurie and Savir walk together.

  Behind them, at a discreet distance, Larsen and Mona follow.

  QURIE (Not looking back): Are they still following us?

  SAVIR (The same): Yes.

  QURIE: They are like the KGB those two.

  SAVIR: I was thinking Mossad.

  QURIE: No, they are not that good.

  SAVIR: I thought you were really going to hit him. That would have made my day.

  QURIE: Believe me, whenever I am with Larsen, I wish to hit him.

  (They walk on in silence. Then:)

  SAVIR: I admire the way you fight.

  QURIE: Thank you.

  I admire . . . your passion.

  SAVIR: My daughter says, with me, “passion” is another word for “pigheaded.”