Be My Love

by Lucy Kevin

  “It’s good to see you girls getting along again,” Ava said from the doorway. “Does that mean that you’ve decided what you’re doing next, Hanna?”

  “I’m going forward with the documentary. And Grams, I know you won’t talk to me about what happened, but do you have anything from that time? Joel’s family kept all of Poppy’s old notebooks, so maybe you have something like that?”

  “You know what, I might have something. You’ll have to look through quite a lot of my old things, though.”

  Ava led Hanna upstairs to her bedroom and opened her closet, revealing an old trunk at the bottom. “I suspect there will be one or two letters or photos in here that will interest you. Take it down to your sisters. I’m sure they’ll want to help. I’m going to stay up here and head to bed. Goodnight, honey.”

  Hanna kissed her grandmother goodnight, then hauled out the trunk. It was heavier than it looked, but that was a good thing because it meant that there was more inside.

  A lot more, as it turned out when she got it down to her sisters. Mementos from practically Ava’s whole life. There were scrapbooks with clippings about the dance studio, photo albums filled with pictures of the five of them, and before that, pictures of their mother and father. There was even an old program from a club in Seattle, and a few letters that Hanna scanned one by one, looking for something relevant to Poppy’s disappearance.

  The others seemed to be enjoying the chance to go through Grams’ old things just as much, but they didn’t have the same sense of purpose as Hanna. Every so often, Paige would stop to comment on some of the dancers’ costumes in an old picture from the school, or Rachel would ask a question about someone mentioned in a note. Emily, meanwhile, seemed satisfied with collecting the pictures of their mother.

  Hanna finally found what she was looking for near the bottom, tucked away in an envelope. It was a single, unframed photograph, showing a much younger Ava standing with an arm around another woman’s shoulders. Without the research she’d already done, Hanna wouldn’t have recognized that second woman.

  But now she knew Poppy Peterson immediately.

  Still, she couldn’t keep from saying aloud, “How can this even be possible?”

  Why would Ava ever have her arm around Poppy? They should have hated one another. Poppy should have hated Ava at least. Yet there they were, both smiling. As far as she could tell, the picture wasn’t taken anywhere on the island. Where could they have met?

  Hanna stared at the photograph, looking for clues. There were buildings off to one side, on an angle, but it was the far background Hanna was looking at. The skyline had obviously changed a lot in the decades since, but she was sure that was the historic Times Square Building just visible in the corner. There might be no Space Needle or skyscrapers behind it, but this picture had definitely been taken in Seattle.

  “Hanna?” Emily called after her when she immediately stood up and headed for the door. “Where are you going?”

  “I have to tell Joel that I just found a picture of his great aunt and Grams together,” Hanna explained, holding up the photograph. “And then…I think I’m going to need to go to Seattle in the morning to see if I can figure out exactly where they were.”

  “Seattle? Just like that you’re leaving?” Emily threw up her hands in obvious surrender. “Okay, I’m not even going to argue. We both know you’ll end up doing what you want, just like you always did when you were little.”

  Hanna turned around to give her big sister a hug. “I love you, you know. Even if you are the bossiest, most overbearing big sister in the world.”

  “I love you too,” Emily said. “Even if you have always been the most troublemaking little sister in the world.”

  And as Hanna headed for the door, just for a moment she wondered if Emily had ever wished that she could run off to Seattle on a moment’s notice, rather than taking care of the half-dozen things she probably had planned to take care of around the house and yard tomorrow? Somehow, though, Hanna doubted it. She and Emily had always had different dreams and goals for life.

  But Emily was still the best sister Hanna could have asked for.

  CHAPTER TEN

  The morning ferry leaving the island wasn’t particularly crowded as people were still more interested in getting onto the island than leaving it during whale season. There were a couple of teenage girls heading over to Seattle talking about a festival, a few islanders on shopping trips, and what looked like one of the marine biologists going to check back in with the university.

  Plus Hanna and Joel.

  They were headed to Seattle in the hope of finding out more about whatever time Poppy had spent there, armed with no more than a photograph and a lot of hope.

  Joel was quiet beside her on the open deck, staring at the photograph. Hanna was slightly worried that the sea spray would damage it, yet, she didn’t ask for it back, not when she knew Joel still wasn’t entirely convinced that his great aunt could have been anywhere with Ava. After all, if two people should have hated one another, it was those two. The sheer incongruity of that photograph was likely what had brought him this far and had him taking a day off of work, when he’d previously told her how busy his schedule was becoming as the summer boating season ramped into overdrive.

  Still, she couldn’t help but hope that the photo—and the mystery it presented—wasn’t the only reason he’d hopped on the ferry to Seattle with her. Because despite the boat not being overly crowded, Joel had chosen to sit right next to her. Close enough that she could feel the touch of his skin against hers when the roll of the boat pushed them together. A couple of times during the ride he’d looked over at her like he wanted to say something, but each time he turned back to the picture in silence.

  She supposed she should have been surprised by how right it felt to be here with him, heading off to Seattle together to piece together Poppy’s past. But as they sat beside each other on the ferry, she simply couldn’t imagine taking this journey without him.

  Every time she risked glancing at him, she caught him looking right back at her. The heat she’d seen in his eyes in the attic, in the cave, in the archives, was even hotter now...so hot that it almost made Hanna’s skin burn.

  “Don’t you want to pull out your camera, Hanna?”

  Her fingers fumbled a little as she reached for it. “Good thinking.” But even though it was a perfect summer day on the water, the sparkling blue water all around them couldn’t hold a candle to Joel. “You look so right out here.”

  He smiled right into her lens. “I love being on the water. I always have.”

  Her video camera captured his wistful glance out across the Sound, and she suddenly found she had to swallow a lump in her throat as they headed into the city ferry terminal. If ever a man belonged on a boat rather than in an office, she thought, it was Joel.

  A few minutes later when they’d arrived in Seattle, Joel leapt down onto the dock and extended a hand to help her down. Her foot caught slightly, so that for a moment she tottered there. She needed a hand free to catch her balance, but that would mean letting go of her camera. But she couldn’t do that and lose everything she’d shot today.

  Joel solved the problem by catching her around the waist and lifting her down to the dock. As he held her in the circle of his arms, she thought he actually might kiss her this time. But at the last moment he pulled back.

  Just like he always had before.

  “We need to hurry if we’re going to find this place in the photo before it’s time for the ferry back,” he said.

  He was right. Of course he was right. They only had a few hours before they needed to head back and she should be feeling excited about Poppy and the documentary...not feeling sorry for herself because Joel didn’t want to kiss her.

  She took out the photograph, staring at it. “One house in the whole of Seattle—it might not even be there anymore.”

  “It’s not the whole of the city, is it?” Joel pointed out, more positive than she was f
or once. “It’s just like navigating a boat around the island. We simply need to look for landmarks.”

  Hanna nodded. She’d already identified the Times Square Building. So in theory, if they started there and set off in the right direction, she hoped they might actually be able to find it.

  The ferry skipper interrupted that thought. “I hope everything’s all right, Mr. Peterson? It isn’t often you come aboard like this.”

  “Yes, Phil, everything’s fine. I just needed to get to Seattle.” Joel took the photograph from Hanna and showed it to the other man. “Do you know where this could be, apart from the Times Square Building? The picture was likely taken in the late forties or early fifties.”

  Phil shook his head. “Sorry, I’m afraid I don’t. You really should talk to Frank as he’s the only one who’s been around long enough to remember the way the city used to look back then. He’s piloting the ferry back this evening.”

  “Thanks for the suggestion, Phil.” Joel turned back to Hanna. “Looks like we’re going to have to do this the hard way.”

  “Spending the day with you in Seattle? It doesn’t sound that hard to me,” Hanna said before she could think not to.

  Fortunately, Joel smiled back at her as he said, “We should get started.”

  What a long way we’ve come already, she thought, remembering the way he’d all but kicked her out of his office a week ago.

  It was slow going in their taxi as the streets were full of hundreds of stalls and attractions set out in the sun for thousands of people to enjoy. Once they got to the Times Square Building they walked around it, taking in its square, heavily arched shape and the old architecture of the place, trying to work out the angle of it in the picture. Quickly realizing that the changes to the city since the 1950s would make following an orderly search through the city streets especially challenging, Joel bought a map of the city from the gift store, then took out a pen and drew a straight line out in the direction that they believed would get them to the location in the picture.

  Heading out on foot, the area they were searching was right at the heart of the festival. Though Hanna knew they couldn’t really afford the distractions, how could she resist pulling out her camera to film the colorful booths and displays and street dancers? And when her stomach started grumbling, Joel not only bought them both a spiced lamb kabob from a Moroccan food stand, he ended up eating half of hers as well. Almost as if, she found herself thinking, they were a real couple.

  After four years at the university, Hanna was always struck by how quickly Seattle transformed when a festival was in town. Each festival had its own character, and yet she suddenly realized that these seemingly strange and incongruous new elements were actually more like lenses and filters than completely different scenes—simply different ways of seeing the city to get through to the heart of it.

  As they headed through the city, Hanna found herself thinking about Joel, and all the different facets of him that she’d discovered during the past few days.

  He was a Peterson, the head of a long-owned family company, who needed to take charge of papers and meetings and phone calls, even while it seemed to her that the ocean was what really called to him.

  He was the guy who’d been the star quarterback, the respected member of the island’s small community, who was good looking and successful enough to have any woman he wanted, but was still unattached.

  And he was also the man who hadn’t been to a movie in years, who’d nearly kissed her half a dozen times by now...and who had actually been receptive to the shocking idea that his great aunt might not have taken her own life in 1951.

  As much as Hanna knew that she should keep her camera on the festival or the surrounding neighborhood they were searching, it kept creeping back again and again to Joel.

  “You love to look at everything through your camera, don’t you?”

  “I don’t want to miss the chance for great footage.”

  “But aren’t you missing out on just experiencing some of it?”

  “I think sometimes, I get to see more with the camera. People will open up to me in ways they never would otherwise.” She gestured to a passing street performer, who was juggling flaming torches. “I get to see into the heart of things.”

  “Other people’s hearts, maybe,” Joel countered. “But what about yours?”

  Her professor had said the same thing, yet coming from Joel, it felt like more. Hanna lowered the camera for a moment, looking at him. “What do you mean?”

  “You’re so interested in the rest of the world,” Joel said, “but what about the things that are important to you?”

  It was such a personal question that Hanna was momentarily stunned silent. “Doing this documentary on our families is important to me. And without it,” she risked adding in a soft voice, “I would never have gotten to spend all this time with you.”

  Joel’s eyes held her for a long moment before he finally said, “I get the feeling that you’re going to be spending a lot more of today with me. You’re right that looking for the location of this picture feels like trying to find a needle in a haystack.”

  And it was true. Finding one old house in a city the size of Seattle was seemingly impossible. Still, Joel didn’t seem to mind looking with her as he asked her questions about landmarks like the Space Needle and the entrance to the Underground City. Unfortunately, though she’d spent four years at the University, for some reason she’d never made it a point to actually check these places out.

  When she grew silent, he said, “Don’t worry, Hanna, we’ll just keep looking until we find it.”

  “No,” she said with a small shake of her head. “That’s not it. I mean, I know there’s a good chance we won’t strike gold today, but I’m dogged enough to keep looking even if we draw a blank this afternoon.”

  “Then why did you suddenly look so sad?”

  Once again, he’d noticed her feelings. Even better, he’d asked her about them...almost as if he was really and truly beginning to care about her.

  “I was just wondering, suddenly, why after four years at school here, I’ve never gone to the top of the Space Needle? Why did I stay in my little bubble and never really venture outside of it? Especially when I know I need to experience the world to be able to show it to other people through my films?”

  “Well, since you took me to go see a movie at the old theater on the island, maybe I should take you to see the Space Needle now?”

  Hanna thought he was joking, until a half-hour later when she found herself looking down at the city from way up high. “I’m pretty sure,” she said in a voice that was full of emotion she couldn’t manage to hide, “this is the first time a Peterson and a Walker have been to the top of the Space Needle together.” As he laughed at what had become a special joke between them, she said, “Thank you for bringing me up here. Especially when I know we should still be down there looking for the house.”

  “Think of this as research,” he said, although his eyes were warmer than she’d ever seen them. Almost as if he couldn’t fight his feelings for her any longer, either. “We should work out where the landmarks are. Is that the Seahawks’ stadium over there?”

  Over the next half hour, they tried to pick out houses that looked like they might fit with the photograph, but from way up high, it was impossible. After heading back down, they passed a cluster of clubs with façades suggesting they went back a long way, but they were all so busy with paying tourists that no one had time to talk to Hanna and Joel about the old photographs. And since most of the staff were Hanna’s age, she guessed that none of them would be that interested anyway.

  Which was a problem, because it was starting to get late. They’d been walking around the city for hours now, and they still didn’t have anything to go on.

  “We’re going to have to head back, aren’t we?”

  Joel nodded. “If we don’t want to miss the ferry.”

  They took a taxi back to the docks where the ferry was wai
ting. Since they were at least a couple of minutes past the sailing time, Hanna guessed that the skipper knew his boss was coming. And when an older man, well weathered by the sea, with a beard that made him look like every caricature of a ship’s captain Hanna had ever seen, met them out at the dock, how could she resist filming him?

  “Mr. Peterson, there you are.” The man raised a surprised eyebrow. “And Ms. Walker too. We were just getting ready to go.”

  “Thank you for waiting for us,” Joel said, shaking his hand. “We won’t keep you waiting any longer, Frank.”

  “Frank?” Hanna remembered what the skipper on the way there had said: that Frank had been doing this route long enough that he might remember the city back from the early 50s. It was a long shot, but after a day of looking, even long shots were worth trying. She put down her camera and took out the photograph of Ava and Poppy once more. “The skipper this morning said that you might know where this was taken. We’ve been looking for it most of the day.”

  Frank stared at it for a few seconds before nodding. “I believe it’s from an old street of bed and breakfasts that artists used to stay in. I can give you the street on the way back if you like.”

  “Actually,” Joel said, “it would be really helpful if you could give us the address now.”

  “But if we go looking for it tonight,” Hanna reminded Joel, “we won’t be able to return to the island until tomorrow. And I know that you probably can’t afford another day away from the office just to go running around Seattle with me.”

  “It’s worth it to me,” Joel said. “As long as staying in the city tonight is all right with you.”

  “Of course it is.”

  He took the address Frank had written down, then said, “Let’s go find this B&B.”

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  Hanna held up the photograph, checking it against the house in front of her. The background had changed and it had clearly been repainted and repaired many times since Grams and Poppy stood in front of it, but the building was still undeniably the same, with a pre-war façade that stood out from the other buildings on the block.