Flawed (Blaze of Glory #2)

by Cherry Shephard

  I wake at some point during the night when he rolls over and gathers me into his arms, brushing the hair away from my shoulders and kissing the back of my neck.

  KEETS

  Throwing back another mouthful of coffee, I rub my bleary eyes. I barely slept a wink last night, not at all helped by the way she’d felt in my arms. It’d been a mistake to kiss her, and even more of a mistake to pick her up and carry her into my bed. I was definitely a mistake to fuck her senseless. But my worst mistake of all had been lying in that bed next to her, holding her in my arms all night. Even when my arm had cramped and gone to sleep, I’d stayed in that one position, scared to move in case I disturbed her sleep. It was only when those first rays of the early morning sun had streaked across the bed that she’d rolled over, taking the blanket with her, leaving me in nothing but a pair of briefs and a raging hard on. As much as I try to deny it, I can’t help myself; I’m attracted to Natalie Harper.

  The only problem is there’s nothing I can do about it. She’s almost half my age, and I’ll be gone soon. Everything is screaming at me to stay away from her. The office door opens and she steps out in a pair of denim shorts and a white tank. Despite all logic, I find myself hurrying over to offer her a coffee, trying desperately to keep my eyes on her face, rather than on the hard nipples that are blatantly obvious though her thin tank top. She declines the coffee and instead makes herself a cup of tea, and we sit in silence for a few moments, each apparently unable to think of something intelligent to say.

  “So,” I finally break the silence. “What did you study in college?”

  “Art,” she replies, putting her mug of tea down and toying with the end of her hair. It seems to be a nervous habit. I wish I knew how I made her nervous so I could stop doing it.

  “Art?” I smile, thinking back to the sketch I made of her last night. Maybe we do have something in common after all. “Why art?”

  “I don’t know,” she confesses with a shy smile, tucking her hair behind her ear. “I guess I like to see the beauty in things. It makes me happy when I do.”

  Just like me. Clearing my throat, I speak again. “I do a little art myself,” I admit, and I swear she blushes, excitement evident in her beautiful clear blue eyes. My mind drifts back to the sketch I made of her last night, and I inwardly curse at my carelessness of leaving it on the table.

  “Really?” she asks, feigning innocence. “Like what? Will you show me?”

  I shake my head then immediately regret it when the smile drops from her face and her shoulders slump in defeat. I’ve never intentionally shown anyone my art; it’s always been a deeply personal thing that’s helped me get through some of the darker moments in life. Until recently. “Maybe later,” I say, noncommittally. She seems happy enough with that and drops it for the moment.

  “So, what do you normally do around here?” she asks, looking around the bar.

  I pause to think about that. Normally right now, I’d be giving the girl of the moment one last fuck before putting her out the door, but I can’t exactly tell Nat that. “There’s a TV in the back,” I say, gesturing toward the office. “Usually, I lie in bed and watch movies until it’s time to open the bar.”

  “That sounds kind of boring…” she says, scrunching up her nose. “And lonely.”

  “It can be,” I agree, nodding. “Sometimes, I’m lucky enough to have some company.”

  “You mean… a-a woman?” she squeaks, and I inwardly punch myself.

  Way to go, Keets.

  There’s no point lying to her. “Sometimes,” I reply, not able to meet her eyes as I say it. There’s a moment of tense silence as she absorbs this information. I’d give anything to know what she’s thinking right now.

  “Well,” she finally says with a small smile. “I’m here now, so why don’t you show me what movies you have.” She goes to stand but I grab her arm, effectively stopping her in her tracks. I remember all too clearly the movie that’s currently in the DVD player, and somehow I don’t think it’s the sort of movie Natalie Harper would want to watch. Desperate to change the subject, I stupidly decide to turn the tables on her.

  “Natalie,” I start quietly, caressing her inner wrist with my thumb. “Why do you cut yourself?” She pales and pulls out of my grip, crossing her arms over her stomach protectively, refusing to meet my gaze. I stand and try to draw her into my arms to give her a small measure of comfort, but she’s as still and firm as a statue. Sighing, I shake my head. “Okay, I won’t push it,” I tell her, finally getting her to look at me curiously. “But you will tell me one day why you feel the need to do this to yourself.” She says nothing, but nods once and allows me to take her hand, leading her back into the office.

  Once she’s settled on the bed, I quickly take out Candy’s Shizhole when she’s not looking, and put in the DVD of Paranormal Activity 4, smiling when her eyes light up with excitement. “I haven’t seen this one,” she says, bouncing up and down a little on the bed.

  I grin and indicate the spot next to her. “You like horror movies too? Mind if I sit?” In response, she scoots over and wraps her arms around her knees. I climb on the bed next to her and rest back against the pillows. She sits rigidly for a few moments, and I find my eyes straying to her frequently. “Are you okay?” I finally ask. “You seem a little distracted.”

  “Hmm?” she says, glancing at me. “Oh… no, I’m fine. Sorry.”

  “You’re sure?” I grin. “You look like you’re about to run right out the door.”

  She relaxes a little at that, and returns my grin. “Sorry.”

  “Here,” I say, sitting up more on the pillow and stretching my arms out for her. She hesitantly shuffles back between my legs and I wrap my arms around her from behind. She’s stiff for a few moments, but as the movie progresses I feel her begin to relax and melt into my embrace. Her head lolls back to rest on my shoulder, and my arms tighten slightly around her, my fingers stroking the tiny sliver of bare skin on her stomach that her shirt has exposed. She shivers and goosebumps break out across her skin, and I take the opportunity to sweep her hair to the side and place feather-light kisses against her shoulder and the side of her neck.

  She moans a little and wriggles against me. I feel my cock growing hard in my jeans, and there’s little doubt that she can feel it, too. She jumps at something in the movie, and her ass jolts firmly back against my cock. My fingers inch higher until my whole palm is touching bare flesh. She’s as soft as satin; I could touch her forever. My hand finds the underside of her breast, and the movie is forgotten as she shifts in my arms and my hand covers the soft mound, tweaking the nipple with my thumb. Her lips part and her eyes drift closed, her fingers clutching at the denim of my jean-clad thighs.

  I use my other hand to turn her face to mine, pressing my lips firmly against hers as I tease her nipple into a hardened point. Natalie groans into my mouth and shifts, turning to face me as I lie back against the pillow, dragging her with me so she’s straddling my hips. Positioning her pussy directly over my cock, I move her hips back and forth, rubbing her against me as I kiss her. She groans again and breaks the kiss, sitting up as she works to push my tank top up my chest. I help her shrug it off then lie back again as her small, pink tongue darts out and snakes a long trail from my neck all the way to one of my nipples, nipping at it lightly. My hand fists in her hair as her kisses continue south, all the way down to the waistband of my jeans.

  Grabbing her wrists, I pull her back up and capture her lips once more, rolling her over until I’m lying over her, my cock pressing firmly between her thighs. I trust hard once against her, hearing her groan of satisfaction as she strains against me, trying to get closer. A knock on the door has her freezing, and I drop my face into the crook between her neck and shoulder, letting out a small groan of annoyance.

  “Just ignore them,” I whisper, sucking lightly on her neck as my hand moves down to the waistband of her jeans. The knock sounds again and I curse savagely, climbing off the bed as she si
ts up and tries to look like she hasn’t just been thoroughly kissed. Stalking over to the door, I swing it open, ready to tear whoever it is into pieces.

  “Zeke,” I gasp. “What the hell are you doing here? Where are your parents? Has something happened?”

  “I left,” Zeke says simply, pushing past me into the office. “I couldn’t handle two weeks of watching them sucking face.” He stops dead when he sees Natalie on my bed and turns to face me, his face bright red. “I-I’m sorry,” he stammers. “I didn’t know you had someone here.”

  “It’s okay.” I laugh, my earlier anger forgotten. “This is Natalie, Shannon’s sister.”

  He turns back to Nat and studies her closely. “She’s hot,” he finally announces, like it was something I didn’t already know. “So, I guess this makes you my aunt or something, right?”

  “Excuse me?” I ask. Where the hell did that come from?

  “Well, she’s my stepmother’s sister,” Zeke explains, looking at me like I’ve grown two heads.

  “Oh, right, of course,” I say, giving Nat a helpless look. She’s sitting on the bed with an amused grin on her face, clearly enjoying my discomfort. I change the subject. “What do your parents think of you coming home?”

  “Well… that is… they don’t know,” Zeke mumbles, unable to look me in the eyes.

  “What?” I roar, causing them both to flinch. “You ran away?”

  “I couldn’t do it!” Zeke yells back. “What did you want me to do, Keets? Pretend we were all just one big, happy family while they completely ignored me to make out the whole time? I bet they don’t even know I’m gone.”

  “That’s bullshit and you know it,” Natalie says, climbing off the bed and walking over to join us. “If you knew anything about my sister you would know she cares more about family than anything else.”

  “Well, I hate to burst your bubble, Auntie Natalie,” he sneers, “but that was the old Shannon. The new Shannon doesn’t care about anything but kissing her new husband and acting like she’s a damn teenager. I’m the teenager, not them.”

  “Zeke,” I snap, getting more pissed off every minute. “Don’t you dare speak to Natalie that way; She’s not the enemy here.”

  “No, I am,” he sulks. “I always am.” Turning, he practically runs out the door and disappears from the bar. I turn to grab my shoes and follow him, but Natalie’s hand on my arm makes me pause and glance down at her. “Leave him be,” she says quietly. “I remember what it’s like to be fifteen. It can’t be easy losing his mom only to get a new one a few weeks later.”

  I sigh and drop my head, touching my forehead to hers. “You’re something special, Miss Harper. You know that, right?” I kiss the top of her forehead and step away. “I have to call Stone and Shannon, they’ll be going out of their minds.”

  “Okay.” She gives me a small smile. “I’ll see if I can find Zeke, maybe have a bit of a chat with him.”

  “Good luck,” I scoff. “He hasn’t spoken more than a few words to anyone in weeks.”

  “I’ll talk to him.”

  NATALIE

  As it turns out, I don’t have to go far to track down my new nephew. I see him sitting on a wooden fence next to a corral, watching a beautiful horse canter around the clearing. Is that Lady? As I near him, I see him glance my way, but he doesn’t acknowledge me. Awkwardly climbing onto the fence next to him, I say nothing as I watch him, watching the horse.

  “I’m sorry I was rude,” he apologizes in a quiet voice, not looking at me. I’m not sure what to say, so I remain silent. “I’m just so tired of being ignored, you know?” he continues, and I nod in agreement. “Like, I didn’t even know Dad existed until a few months ago, then I found out Mom was dying and I was forced on him. He was so messed up, all he did was drink and yell at Shannon and me. But for a while, things got better, and I thought maybe it’d work out. But since they got married…” He trails off and finally looks at me.

  “You feel like you’re ignored,” I finish for him. “You feel like you don’t matter, that they wouldn’t even notice you weren’t around. And why should they, right? You’ve only been in your dad’s life a few months.”

  “Exactly,” Zeke agrees. “Why should they care about me, when I’m nothing but a burden on them?”

  “Oh, sweetie,” I say, my heart breaking for him. “I know just how you feel. Growing up, Shannon was always the ‘good child’, and I was never anything more than a burden on my momma and daddy. When Shannon left with her boyfriend for the big city, everyone blamed me. The whole town, in fact. They kept telling me if only I’d been nicer to her, if only I’d stopped being so selfish, she might have stayed. Look,” I debate on how much to tell him, he’s just a sweet child.. “I know where the path to self destruction can lead you. I’ve travelled down that path so many times I’ve lost count.”

  “So why don’t you stop?”

  Such a simple question, from such an innocent boy. It almost brings me to my knees in pain, but I force myself to explain, to try and make sure he doesn’t go down the same path. “I wish it were that simple,” I tell him in a sad voice. “I think, when you’ve been feeling the way I do for as long as I have, the darkness becomes the only thing you feel safe in, like you have control. Does that make sense?” He shakes his head and I inwardly curse. “When I was younger, I used the darkness like a release of pent up anger and frustration. I won’t lie, it felt good, you know? But it only lasts a short amount of time. Do I regret being so angry all the time? Yep, of course I do. If I could go back and do it all over again, I would never let myself go down that path. But quitting isn’t as easy as turning off a light switch. I live in a world of constant shame and guilt for what I do to myself, and to my family and friends.”

  “I would never hurt my family,” Zeke says fiercely. “But sometimes I wish I could just run away. I’m such a damn burden on everyone. I can never do anything right!”

  “Zeke, you’re anything but a burden on them. Shannon has told me so much about you.”

  “She has?”

  I nod. “She has. She’s told me about how special you are, and how much she loves you.”

  “But that’s just it,” he says, kicking the fence with the heel of his running shoe. “I love her, too.”

  “How is that a problem?” I ask, confused.

  “Because,” he replies, his voice barely above a whisper. “I miss my mom.”

  “Oh, honey,” I exclaim, realization finally dawning. “You’re worried that you’re betraying your mom by loving Shan.” He nods, and an overwhelming sadness sweeps through me. “Sweetie, no one can ever replace your mom, don’t you understand that? Not Shannon, not me, no one. And trust me, she’s not trying to. It’s not wrong to love Shannon. In fact, I think your mom would be incredibly proud of how strong you are.”

  “You think?” he asks, hope filling his eyes before quickly dying away again. “No,” he argues, shaking his head. “I’m a terrible person, and the sooner you realize that the better.” He climbs down and starts walking away.

  “Zeke!” I yell, struggling to move off the fence. My foot slips and I would’ve fallen if it weren’t for the strong arms that wrap around me from behind, catching me, steadying me.

  “Whoa, are you okay?” Keets asks, helping me to stand. I struggle out of his arms and look around for Zeke, but he’s nowhere in sight. “He’s gone,” Keets says, as if reading my mind. I sigh and shake my head sadly. That poor kid. I can’t begin to know how to get through to him. I know all too well the pain of living in the darkness, I wouldn’t wish that feeling on anyone, let alone a child.

  “Did you get a hold of them?” I ask, turning my attention back to Keets who nods.

  “Yeah,” he answers, stepping back and hooking his hands into the back pockets of his jeans. “They were going out of their minds, but I convinced them to enjoy their vacation. I told them that I’d look after the kid until they get back. Did he talk to you?”

  I nod, tears filling my eyes.
“That poor boy,” I cry. “He’s so worried about betraying his mother’s memory that he refuses to let anyone get close to him. He’s convinced they’ll take her place in his heart.”

  “Damn,” Keets says softly, pulling his hands out of his pockets and holding them out to me. I step willingly into his embrace; it’s quickly becoming my ‘safe’ space. The thought doesn’t sit well with me, but I can examine what it means later. Right now, though, I crave this touch, this comfort. Even if it is only for a moment. I allow the tears to flow freely, his hand stroking my back in long, slow movements. I cry until there’s nothing left inside me, then I finally pull away, my face flaming when I see the wet patches on the front of his tank top. “I’m sorry.” I smile, giving a small hiccup as I turn my face away.

  “Hey,” he says quietly, turning my face back to his. “Don’t ever apologize, okay? You’ve done nothing wrong. We all need some comfort sometimes.” I nod, too choked up to say anything. “Besides,” he continues, a grin splitting his features. “This shirt needed the wash.” He winks at me and I burst out laughing. It feels damn good to laugh; it feels like forever since the last time I did.

  ***

  It’s ten pm and the bar is packed with locals. My feet ache from standing on them all night, and I think I’ve ended up with more beer on me than in the glasses. How the hell does Keets make it look so easy? I watch as he fills ten shot glasses in quick succession, without spilling a drop. He makes it seem effortless, and I’m once again reminded of my own shortcomings as beer promptly overfills the glass I’m pouring and splashes over my hand. “Dammit,” I mutter, grabbing a cloth and wiping up the mess.

  “Hey, darlin’,” a loud voice calls. I look up to see an extremely overweight man grinning at me, one of his front teeth missing. “The beer goes in the glass.”