Submission To Black

by Rice, Rachel E.

  I could always recognize the truth when I heard it, and my good sense told me to swallow my pride and take his car. It wasn’t like I was dealing with Max. Charles was a different person.

  “OK, but I’m bringing it back when I return to Seattle.”

  “Don’t stay gone too long, Alex.”

  Chapter 7

  As I stepped out of the building, a valet handed me the key to Charles’s BMW parked on the circular driveway; I hopped into the driver’s seat. Looking around to get my bearings and acclimate myself to the luxurious car, I stayed too long fidgeting with the buttons. Soon workers began lumbering out of the building. As I turned to check the mirrors, my eyes met curious glances from workers I recognized from my office. Their eyes narrowed and their gazes turned to one another and they leaned in to whisper.

  “Oh shit. Now everyone will think that I’m having an affair with Charles,” I mumbled, turning the wheel. He’s not just any boss; he owns the bank, and he’s a billionaire. There go my first and last friends, I thought, letting out a gigantic sigh.

  I put the car in gear and headed out, but not before contacting Jonas. I asked him to look in on Maxim and make sure the nanny was taking care of him. Jonas being a good sport and, I’m reluctant to say, a good uncle, agreed to care for Maxim instead of remaining at the bedside of Max. Jonas revealed that Max was still unconscious, but the doctors expected him to be lucid soon.

  I couldn’t get to the hospital soon enough, but I welcomed the drive. It was a way to leave behind some of myself. I pulled into the entrance where there was valet parking and handed the attendant the keys. I turned before he entered the car. “Take care of it. It’s not mine. I can’t afford to even pay the deductible.”

  The young man smiled as if he understood my predicament.

  Stopping at the information desk, I asked for the critically injured patients. A girl about my age instructed me to turn right at the corner, and there I would find the elevators. I hit the elevator button.

  Walking in, I hit the button for the eighth floor, the elevator stopped, and I got off looking for the room. At the end of the hall to the left, there was his room. I rinsed my hands and stepped inside. The nurse and doctors were walking out. “How is he?”

  “Mr. Blackstone is doing fine. My team stopped the bleeding, Mrs. Blackstone. It was a superficial cut to the head. We gave him something to rest and we’re feeding him intravenously. He had a bad night. Other than insect bites and a concussion, he will be fine if he gets some rest.”

  I thanked them and walked into the room and looked down on Mr. Black. I touched his hand and held it. He appeared to respond, but that was just me hoping for the best. It was strange seeing him so vulnerable with his head bandaged and tubes in his arm, mouth, and nose.

  “Max, can you hear me? I love you.” Tears fell from my eyes, rolled down my cheeks, and landed on his face.

  His heart monitor went haywire. Then his eyes opened. “Alex, darling,” he said with slurred speech. “I heard your voice and then something struck my face.” He placed his left hand on his cheek.

  It’s a tear, you handsome fuck.

  “It’s my tear, you intolerable, stubborn, handsome man. Good to see you alive.”

  He managed to look up at me, and then, searching his surroundings with his intense green eyes, he mumbled, “What am I doing here and why are you here?”

  Because I love you, you beautiful, crazy fuck. “You were in an accident.”

  “Now I remember. I headed out alone in my plane after I realized that you had left me.”

  “Don’t talk. You need to sleep.”

  “Only if you promise me that you will stay with me all night.”

  “You bet. I’m not going anywhere.” I took off my jacket and laid my purse down and held Max’s hand. He closed his eyes and fell back to sleep. I guess he needed it after what he had been through. A meal was brought in for me. The room wasn’t fancy, but he did have the best room in this country hospital, complete with an extra bed and a couch.

  At about midnight Max was still sleeping when my phone vibrated and woke me.

  “Alex, this is Jonas.”

  “Yes, Jonas, how is Maxim?”

  “He misses you and Max, but Crystal and I are taking good care of him.”

  “Where is the nanny?”

  “I gave her a few days off.”

  “What do you mean? You and Crystal are taking care of my baby?”

  “Crystal cooks…”

  “I’ve never known Crystal to cook anything.”

  “We have plans to take him…”

  “Hold on, Jonas. Where are you staying?”

  “I’m staying at your house to make sure Maxim is taken care of.”

  “Jonas, don’t do anything I’m going to be sorry for.”

  “Don’t worry, Alex. I’ve got this.”

  “That’s why I’m worried. I should be home tomorrow. Max is doing fine; he finally caught up with his rest.” My phone signaled another call was coming in. “I have to go. Jonas, take care of my baby.

  “Charles, I’m sorry I didn’t call you, but I was tired.”

  “I just wanted to know whether you made it safely. That’s all, and since I’ve heard your voice, I’m a happy man.”

  “Charles, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  “No, take another day.”

  “Good night, Charles.”

  Max stirred in his bed and asked for water. He appeared to be dreaming. It was a nightmare and he screamed for his mother. I ran to his bed and shook him, waking him. I wanted to cradle him in my arms and tell him it would be all right, but I knew he would resent me for knowing that he was not the master of the universe. There was a little kid hiding beneath his façade.

  His eyes caught mine. He appeared embarrassed lying in bed with no control of his surroundings because my Mr. Black was a stickler for control.

  “You were having a nightmare. You screamed for your mother. And then you had this look on your face and said, ‘Alex, Rebecca,’ and then you repeated, ‘St. John.’”

  “I thought I heard you call out to St. John.”

  “I was talking to Charles,” I said, not knowing the effect it would have on Max.

  “Why were you speaking to him?” Max said in a demanding but weak voice.

  I raised an eyebrow to signal my discontent with him. “Charles was the one who sent a helicopter to rescue you. And I would not be by your side if he hadn’t let me use his car.”

  “You drove here in his car?” Max tried to lift his tired, perfect body. “Alex, you don’t understand that man. You can’t handle a man like him.”

  “I think I heard the same thing about you.”

  “I forbid you to see him.”

  “You can’t forbid me to see anyone. You have my child, and now you want to control my life. If it wasn’t for Charles, you wouldn’t be here today.”

  “That’s not the complete truth. I would have made it out without his interference.” I didn’t doubt Max’s stubbornness and grit. He might have survived and made it out of that wilderness, but Jonas and I didn’t want to take a chance on never seeing him again.

  “Can’t you admit when you’re wrong and stop looking for excuses?”

  Max turned his back to me. He lay facing the window, with his hard ass displayed through the gown. I wanted to snuggle up behind him and tell him that I would marry him, but two stubborn people were cancelling each other out. Something had to give.

  The rain fell hard but not so as to drown out Max’s words. “I want you, Alex. I want you to myself.”

  Could I trust my handsome, sexy man with the truth? Or would I fall prey once more in a moment of my weakness? Even after we made love, it didn’t prevent him from exercising his will over me.

  He’s brazen when he tells me that he wants me. He’s telling me that no matter what I want, he means to have me. I need to fight him to claim my son, my mind, and my body because he intends on taking all of me, leaving nothing of
me I can recognize.

  “You had me, Max, but now…” He turned, facing me. That face and body would make any woman drop to her knees and beg for one more day with him. But I tried to hide my yearning for his incredible body. What would I do if I can’t have him?

  “I can change, Alex.” He sounded so convincing that I almost relented.

  “I don’t see it coming soon. Since you are better, I’m going to leave in the morning.” I walked to the bed opposite his, climbed into it, and watched Max close his eyes. He didn’t want to admit how exhausted he had become and how exhausting the conversation was. Max has to be heavily medicated for him to fall asleep speaking to me, I thought. I had better leave before he wakes and convinces me that he is the only man in the world for me.

  Waking the next morning, I saw the remnants the rain left behind—raindrops covering the windows and clinging to the trees, a dreary, damp morning. I bent and kissed Max on his cheek and forehead. He reached for me with weary hands. His eyes were like slits on his face. I stood looking at him. I could never get enough of that dark, curly hair, that strong jaw and dimples, that hard, rippling chest, and those dark, secretive green eyes. I wanted to stand there for hours and drink him in like a thirsty man finding water in the desert, but I didn’t.

  I slipped out of the room and out of the hospital and headed down a lonely stretch of road back to my son.

  ***

  I arrived in Seattle just in time to see Jonas and Crystal drive off with Maxim in the backseat. Because they didn’t see me and didn’t hear the blowing of my horn, I couldn’t stop them. I needed some rest, so I took that as a sign to get in some needed sleep. Before I could run into the shower, I checked my smartphone and noticed that I had missed calls from—of all people—Max and Josh.

  A text came in soon after. I blinked, took a deep breath, and then read it.

  Alex, y did u leave me?

  Max, r u trying to make me feel guilty? But of course u r.

  I miss u. When r u coming back?

  The doctor said that u r fine and u need some rest.

  I need u. I can’t function without u.

  If u mean fucking me, u will have to find someone else.

  I couldn’t believe I wrote that. I didn’t want him to find another woman. I just wanted him to change.

  There were no other texts coming in, and I used that opportunity to take a shower. I stood under the hot water for what felt like an hour. I must have used all the excess water in the reservoir. Finally, I exited the shower, exhausted and ready for sleep.

  Before I could dress and fall in bed, I read Joshua’s texts.

  Contact me. Heard about Max.

  Do u ever answer ur phone or texts?

  Where is Crystal? I haven’t heard from her in a week.

  I owed Josh an answer.

  Josh, Max is OK. And Crystal is being Crystal.

  What could I say to my dearest friend? She has fallen for a handsome, rich psycho. I’m sure that wouldn’t go over well.

  I’ll see u soon, Alex. Tell Crystal I love her and miss her, and to turn on her phone.

  The thought of Joshua flying in made me anxious and nervous. I had to speak to Crystal, but first I needed some sleep. Lying across the bed with my eyes closed, my body went numb. I woke to the sound of laughter and the smell of fish wafting from the kitchen.

  Throwing on a robe, I pulled my hair into a ponytail. Crystal and Jonas were in the kitchen, hanging over a frying pan and giggling. Jonas was standing behind Crystal, pressing into her butt, nibbling on her ear, and nudging her neck with his nose. He whispered something into her ear, and she let out a cackle, as if she was a hen who had just laid a perfect egg and couldn’t wait to show it off.

  “I hate to interrupt what appears to be a tender moment, but where is Maxim?”

  “He’s sleeping in my bed,” Crystal said, turning with a smile.

  “In that bed?” I questioned.

  “Don’t worry, I changed the sheets,” Crystal stated, tucking her chin under as Jonas tickled her chin. He whispered into her ear as if I was invisible, and she let out a mischievous snicker.

  “That’s not what I’m worried about,” I said, returning to my original thought. “Joshua called and said for you to turn on your phone.”

  “Oh, I was so busy…”

  “I can see that.” Crystal leaned back into Jonas. His hands circled her waist. She caught his hands and held them in a loving embrace.

  Breaking away from the embrace, Jonas turned to watch me in the doorway. He reached for a cup of coffee, and there, between his thumb and forefinger, was the tattoo of a star, which confirmed what I knew. He had been impersonating Max at Charles’s company team-building night. He was so convincing that Charles hadn’t known, but then, no one knew there were two of them. It was the best-kept secret. But like everything in life, the sun would shine on that too.

  Jonas reached for Crystal’s hand and said, “Crystal and I are going to spend some time together. She will be staying at my place for a few days.”

  “Not that…” His eyes flashed at me. I read the darkness in his jade eyes and knew not to continue, as I had done when Max was angry. “You two have a great time. Jonas, I need to speak to you,” I said. I was as firm and demanding as I could be without alarming Crystal. While Crystal continued cooking, I pointed for Jonas to follow me.

  We stood outside of Crystal’s viewing and hearing range. “What’s going on, Jonas? She’s vanilla in your world. Crystal is one step from milking cows on a farm.”

  “You were vanilla once,” he stated defensively. “That didn’t stop you from accepting my brother’s world and falling for him.”

  “I’m out of that now. There is no going back to that for me.”

  He raised an eyebrow. “Why don’t you admit it? You love what he introduced you to.” His gaze swept over me, acknowledging that we shared a secret. He knew, and I had to admit it.

  “I loved it because it was just between me and Max. Something happened when he sent me to Pandora’s Retreat and didn’t tell me that I would meet you, his brother, and that woman who you sent to his room in Vegas. Frankly, I haven’t been able to forgive you and myself for being so stupid. And as for that dead heiress…” I stopped cold because of Jonas’s expression and body language. He raked his fingers through his black, curly hair over and over until he saw my eyes following his hand. Then he tucked it into his pocket to hide his nervousness.

  “Alex, everyone has secrets plaguing their lives. If I didn’t forgive myself for all the things I have done that I’m ashamed of, I would be dead or a wreck.”

  “You are a wreck. And you may have just begun to destroy Crystal. She is too young for you.”

  “You were barely twenty when you met Max,” he stated, not expecting an answer.

  “That’s different. Crystal is a farm girl. I lived on the streets as a teen, went to college, and learned lessons in New York that made me aware of life. You have got to give her a chance.”

  Jonas turned with a solemn face. His head low and his eyes traveling into the distance, he headed for the kitchen. I heard Crystal say, “Food is ready.” Standing in the entrance, I saw Jonas embrace Crystal from behind. It was a caring and loving embrace, and it was what I wanted and desired from Max, but he never stood still long enough to be my man in the kitchen, or to hold my hand and tell me he loved me without sex being on the menu.

  I refused Crystal’s invite. I needed eggs, bacon, and an English muffin. I cooked after they exited the kitchen and sat in the dining room. Jonas and Crystal ate hurriedly and brought the dishes back into the kitchen to lay them in the sink. “I’ll wash them. No dishwasher,” I said, looking up at Jonas.

  “I’ll send one,” Jonas said, smiling at Crystal. He was caught up with the allure of a fresh body.

  Crystal smiled at him. “Alex doesn’t want a dishwasher. She likes doing the dishes. Me, I hate it—too many brothers and too many dishes.” She dropped the plates in the sink, and she and
Jonas strutted out holding hands.

  Turning, Jonas met my gaze. “Crystal and me, we’re going to my place. I have an apartment downtown.” I looked curiously at him. “Max is never there.” He hunched his shoulders. “Spend some time with Maxim before I bring him back to Montana.”

  “I thought I would have him with me until Max was released from the hospital.”

  “His doctors released him this morning. They said that he could recuperate at home in Montana. He called me and said to bring his son home. He’s angry with you for leaving.”

  “What else is new?” I said, staring at Jonas. “Did he say any more?”

  “No. I’m sorry, Alex.”

  “What do you mean you’re sorry?”

  “Just that. I meant nothing by it.”

  “Is there something you’re not telling me, Jonas?” I grabbed his arm, wheeling him around.

  “I told you everything I know. I’ll be back to get Maxim tonight at eight,” he stated with a dismissive stare.

  Chapter 8

  Jonas took Maxim and brought back Crystal. It wasn’t a fair exchange. When I woke the next morning, Crystal lay snug in her bed. Good thing she hadn’t quit her day job, because Jonas was not a man you could depend on; but I didn’t have time to tell her that, and I didn’t want to be the messenger of bad news.

  I drove Charles’s car to the front of the bank, and a valet hopped in and drove it away. Walking slowly, I entered the building and let out a content sigh. I was excited about losing myself in my work. I knew little about the insurance side of banking. Marianne guaranteed me that with her help, I would be a fierce businesswoman in no time. All I had to do was follow her lead, not ask too many questions, and go to all of the meetings and keep my mouth shut. In other words, “fake it until you make it.”

  I knew that I could do that for now. Especially the part about not asking many questions and keeping my mouth shut. I didn’t know enough to know what questions to ask. Sitting at my desk and reviewing the papers from the day before, I began checking everything to make sure the signatures matched and that the individuals signing the checks were who they said they were. It was lunchtime, and I hadn’t heard from Charles. I picked up the phone to call him and tell him that I had brought his expensive BMW back without a scratch and that I was thankful.