Submission To Black

by Rice, Rachel E.

  “You are so beautiful,” Max said, looking at me as if I were a painting by Monet hanging on his wall. I guess when a woman feels loved, she is beautiful, but that was hardly how I felt. I was hungry, and my breasts and feet were swollen like a Botero sculpture.

  “Can you believe that the first job I had was working in my foster parents’ restaurants? I started as a bus boy and made my way up to a waiter. Every summer during my college years I could count on that job. I was good at it. I learned about the restaurant and hotel business.”

  He placed the tray across my lap. “Good morning, sleepyhead.” Then he leaned forward and kissed me on my cheek.

  “Max, you didn’t have to do this.” I sat straight up, and before my words could drop, I had a piece of toast dangling from my mouth.

  “I know, but I wanted to. I want you to see that we can have a good life together and I will take care of you. If you marry me, I’m going to sell some of my business ventures.” I looked up with raised eyebrows. “Especially the hotels in Las Vegas,” he said. “We can raise our son together. Go to Little League, soccer, or football games. Do something besides roam the world looking to build more hotels and never enjoying the money I’ve made. I want to take you to Paris. It’s not fun if I can’t give you something. What’s the purpose?”

  I realized how unhappy Max had been. I wanted to make him happy, but I needed answers that he refused to give me. Max sat on the bed. I fixed my tea and took a sip. “Max, what are you going to do about Jonas?”

  “Until the truth is uncovered, there isn’t much I can do. He can’t do time; he’s mentally unstable. Now he’s worried about Crystal leaving him for Joshua.”

  “Max, I know you love your brother, but don’t do anything to Joshua to cause him any problems. I know Joshua. He will bounce back from Crystal, and Crystal likes Jonas a lot.”

  “I wouldn’t do anything. I have enough problems with you.” We glanced at each other and he took my hair and placed it behind my ear.

  I looked casually at the clock on the wall, and then I screamed.

  “What day is it? I was supposed to be at work this morning. I will lose my job.”

  “You don’t need a job. I called St. John and told him that you will no longer work for him.”

  “Why would you do that, Max?”

  “I thought that because we were finally intimate, everything was better between us.”

  “You don’t know women. You must have thought that you could fuck that Beaumont woman and say it was over between the two of you and that was that. Well it wasn’t. And what you did by calling Charles is unforgivable. Where is my phone?”

  “Alex, if you call St. John and don’t marry me now, then it’s over.” Did he just say that? Am I supposed to beg him not to leave me? Just like that after he has fucked me all night? I can’t believe what I’m hearing. If it’s not his way, it’s the highway? Weren’t those supposed to be my words? Clearly someone has gotten full of himself. He wasn’t acting that way until I told him I have never had another man but him. That’s what I get for confessing.

  I grimaced at Max and retrieved my smartphone. Max stood watching me as I hit a button, and then Charles came on the line.

  “Charles.” I glanced at Max, standing and waiting, daring me to continue. “I want you to disregard what Max said. I’m not quitting my job, and I am not marrying Max.”

  Max was silent, and his eyes were glazed over as if he couldn’t see me. He walked out of the room, into the next. I placed the tray on the table with the breakfast Max had cooked for me. I tried to get up, but I was too weak.

  Oh, how I wished it was yesterday and I could go back.

  I pulled the covers up to my chest and closed my eyes. I heard Max talking, and somehow I fell back to sleep. When I woke, I felt someone staring down at me. “I’m leaving now, Alex. Stay as long as you want. Hell, I’ll give you this apartment.”

  “I don’t want anything from you but my son.”

  “He comes with the father. Take it or leave it.”

  “That’s your compromise?”

  “I don’t compromise.”

  “That’s a threat,” I said.

  “Absolutely!” And Max walked away from me leaving me in his bed. I scrambled to get to my feet. I wasn’t going to let him have the last word, but I was too late; he had gone. Where? I didn’t know. I never knew.

  Would I know where he was if I were his wife?

  ***

  I dreaded returning to my bungalow because I had to face Crystal and her questions. I walked in the door and found Crystal sitting facing the television but not watching it. Her cheeks were red and her eyes swollen.

  “Where have you been, Alex? I called everywhere looking for you. I saw St. John yesterday at his restaurant, and he asked about you. No one could find you.”

  “I was with Max.”

  “You said…”

  “I know what I said. It’s been a long day.” I threw my things down in the dining area and lumbered to my room. Crystal followed me into the room, waiting for answers. I started to undress, and when she could no longer wait for me to respond to her, she questioned me.

  “What is happening to Jonas? Did Blackstone get him out of jail?”

  “I don’t think Jonas can get bond because he’s a flight risk.” She put her head in her hand and sank into a chair near my bed. “Max has too much money, and the judge knows he would do anything for his brother.”

  “I need him out of jail,” Crystal said, flailing her arms.

  “I’m sure he doesn’t want to be there, Crystal. You need to calm down and have some patience.” Here I was, giving advice to her when I never took anyone’s advice.

  “Do you think he could have done such a thing to that woman, Alex? Not Jonas, I mean Max,” Crystal stated. I grimaced. “He has a dark nature,” Crystal said, trying to convince me of Max’s guilt.

  “No. No, neither one is capable of doing that, Crystal. Max will take care of everything.”

  “If he did it, he might want to frame Jonas.”

  “Stop it, Crystal. Nothing is going to happen to Jonas, and blaming Max is not helping the situation.” I climbed into my bed, and Crystal stayed curled up in the chair looking for reassurance, which was a waste of time because I needed some myself.

  Chapter 11

  I showed up to work the following day feeling exhausted and out of it. I shouldn’t have even been there but I didn’t want Charles to feel as if I was taking advantage. I was aware that I wasn’t doing the work I had being paid for, and by the stares, whispers, and looks on everyone’s faces on my floor, they felt the same way I did. However, I was determined to make this work without Charles’s intervention.

  “Good morning, Ms. Bishop,” one of the eager interns said. By the smirk plastered on his face, he was used to kissing ass and knowing secrets. His eyes and raised eyebrows said it all—you can’t fool me; you got your job by fucking the big boss, and you will be moving up soon and I will have your job. As he passed, nodding in my direction, I received a call.

  The voice was professional and warm. “Ms. Bishop, can you come to my office at this time?” It didn’t have the salacious sound of Max when he first hired me in San Francisco, but the tone had the same intent.

  “Yes sir. I’ll be there in a minute.” I didn’t know what I would find, but I hoped it wasn’t a naked Charles St. John because I would have to quit on the spot. How could I think such a thing? Charles has been more than a gentleman.

  I clambered to the elevator and in seconds, I was at the top floor. I rang the bell, and when the door opened, Charles stood there in a pair of gray slacks and a white V-neck silk sweater. He looked deliciously handsome. “Come in, Alex.” I walked into the room and stood with panic on my face. I just knew he was going to fire me. But wouldn’t he let someone else do that?

  “I have good news for you.” My breath eased out. “The judge in family court agreed to hear your case, and my lawyers are preparing to argue before
him. I know a few judges myself. If everything goes well, you will have your son back within a week.”

  I ran to Charles and looped my arms around his neck. Looking into his cool blue eyes, I leaned into his lips and his mouth met mine. My head began to swirl as if I was on a merry-go-round. I felt dizzy, I felt happy, I felt faint, and I felt his kiss and his evasive tongue. It did something to me. I had to admit I liked it. Pulling myself away from him before I would regret the next step, which was climbing into his bed, I said, “Thank you.”

  All of a sudden the hold that Max had over me did not appear to be as strong. I could see, think, and feel again. Charles was a handsome man. His blue eyes and slanted smile seduced me in a way Max had not. His easy manner was the opposite of Max’s direct stand-your-ground attitude. But I wasn’t ready to give up on Max, and I wasn’t ready to be unfaithful to a man I had wanted from the moment I laid eyes on him.

  “Alex, have a seat.” I found a chair facing the window looking out into the city. I tried to read Charles’s magnificent face, which concealed his feelings, and he hesitated and then said, “Would you marry me?”

  My mouth opened wide, and I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t say no and I wouldn’t dare say yes, but I said, “Wow. You know how to sweep a girl off her feet. Me, why me? Why do you want to marry me?”

  “I want to take care of you. I want to take care of you and your son,” he said, cupping my chin with a soft touch of his hand.

  “You know very well that Max will never stand for…”

  “For me marrying you?” he queried.

  “No, that’s not exactly what I wanted to say. He will not stand for another man raising his son.”

  “So you are not going to marry Max, and you can’t marry anyone else because of him.”

  I hadn’t thought of it that way. Charles had me pondering my future. I was too young to think about that. But now I had to. “I can give you the things you need to prevent Max from taking your son from you again. He can cite the bungalow as an unsuitable home for his child. And you are unable to pay for a private school.”

  “But once I have him in my custody, he will have to pay child support and I can afford better living conditions and a school.” I thought my argument was convincing, at least to me.

  Charles went to his knees in front of me, meeting my eyes, placing his hands on mine. “Max can claim that he would be a better parent because you are not married and you never told him about his child. There are so many things that he may say, true or false. Furthermore, there is the issue of someone kidnapping his son.”

  Confused and bewildered, my face lifted upward, my eyes closed, and my head dropped back. Charles had thrown every reason in the world at me why I should marry him.

  “What do you say, Alex? Will you?” I held my breath. He saw me hesitate and my eyes search the room for an answer. He added, “I promise you that if you don’t think we are compatible, you can get an annulment. I will pay you enough money that you won’t have to worry about Maximilian Blackstone unless you want to. I will do you one better. I will let you have access to my lawyers for an annulment or divorce if it doesn’t work out and I will put everything in writing.”

  “Give me time to think about this. It’s too much,” I said, shaking my head.

  “I’m taking the day off. Take a ride with me to the beach.”

  “I don’t know if I can.” He grabbed my hands and pulled me to my feet.

  “My car is downstairs, and I feel as if I’m twenty again.” His smile lit up my heart and made me feel safe and secure. I agreed. We took an elevator reserved for Charles. I was happy to sneak past all the people looking to gossip about me, especially the mole Max had planted in Charles’s bank.

  He placed his hand behind my waist and led me through the doors. When I stepped out, there was an expensive silver sports car waiting with an attendant opening the door. Charles opened my door, and someone rushed up and took our picture. “That’s what happens when I drive instead of taking my limo.” I thought nothing of it and sat and swiveled my legs around, planting then in the car on its lush floor mats. He walked around and sat under the wheel.

  Looking to him, I asked, “What kind of car is this?”

  “A Maserati Quattroporte.”

  “Oh. OK.” I giggled a little. It must have been the nervous laugh that gave me away. Glancing my way with a smile, Charles knew I had never seen one before.

  “Max is a collector. Why hasn’t he taken you for a ride in it?” He queried.

  “He’s been busy, and we have had a contentious relationship. Can we talk about something else?” I shook my head, closing my eyes.

  “Whatever you wish. You haven’t had lunch.”

  “I want a big, juicy cheeseburger,” I said with the eagerness of a teenager.

  “Me too,” he said with a wide smile. I couldn’t imagine Charles driving up in that car to a fast food window and ordering a hamburger. I thought he was trying to show me that he was human and just a man, which was more than I could say about Max. In some ways I was in awe of Max. He had control of his feelings. Maybe that was why I tried so hard to force emotions from him with my constant denial of him.

  I might have been secretly afraid of losing him because I would go so far with him and then give in. I never wanted to lose that man. I never wanted him out of my life, and I never wanted him not to pay attention to me. But Charles was forcing me to examine my life and what I wanted from it.

  ***

  Charles dropped me at home at the end of the day. And as soon as I walked into the house, placed my purse on a table, and kicked off my shoes, I drifted into the kitchen to get a bottle of water, but I heard a knock at the door. “Who the hell is it this time?” I grumbled. The knock was loud; I knew that knock. It was the big, bad wolf. All of me said don’t open it, but I did. Max burst through the open door.

  “Do you understand, Max, I’m not the only person that lives here?” I said standing near the doorframe. “What are you doing here? Please leave.”

  “What is wrong with you, Alex? What is going on with you? I leave you for a moment and you are fucking St. John.”

  “Leave, Max. We have been through this a thousand times. I don’t think we have any more to say to each other.” Max turned on his heel, not expecting me to send him on his way, and then he swung around. He had more to say, and I was not going to dismiss him.

  “I can’t leave. What is it you want from me? I have my son and Jonas to deal with, and every minute I am worrying about you.”

  “I’m not your concern. Our child is. I’m not your child. I’m a woman. Not that girl you screw when you can’t sleep. I have my wants and desires. I have a life away from you.” Max walked in my direction, and I backed up, moving away from him. “You have no excuse for what you have done to us, Max.” I saw a crack in his armor. His eyes telegraphed his concern, and sadness blanketed them. “You have taken my child from me. I knew you were a lot of things, but I never knew you would be ruthless and cold with me.”

  “I’m trying to change, Alex. It’s not enough that I love you and want you with me and our son?” he questioned.

  “No it’s not enough. I have to be able to make my own decisions and not have you manipulate a situation to gain control of me.” Max acted as if I had been talking to the wall. His eyes wandered around the room and settled on my lips and then my breasts.

  “Are you fucking him? Tell me, Alex.” He came close to me with fiery eyes.

  “Did you fuck that Beaumont woman?” I said to counter. His eyes calmed.

  “That was a long time ago. She’s acting as if it was just yesterday. I’m handling the matter.” I’ve heard that before. I closed my eyes and shook my head. Max understood my body language.

  “Max, Charles asked me to marry him, and I’m considering it.”

  “He’s using you to hurt me. He knows that I’m weighed down with Jonas, and now he realizes that Jonas was part of the strategy to take business from him. He want
s you and my son. He’s trying to destroy me.”

  I looked at Max in disbelief. “You are creating something that doesn’t exist. What are you talking about?”

  “His dead wife, she is the mirror image of you when she was your age. She died without having children for him, and he’s trying to replace her with you and my son. Can’t you see that?” He held my wrist. I pulled away from him. “He’s not genuine. He wants to make you into the image of his dead wife.”

  I stepped back. “That is ridiculous,” I said, raising my voice higher than normal. “I can’t see anything other than you wanting to disrupt my life, and I don’t want to deal with you now.”

  Max turned and walked away. I couldn’t read his expression. My heart pounded out of control, and I had to brace myself on the doorframe. I was afraid—afraid that he would never come back. I closed the door behind me, and when I looked through the window I saw Max leaving and Blake driving up and parking.

  Waiting at the door until Blake walked to the porch, I was out of breath. He rushed up the steps. “Are you all right, Alex? I saw Max through your window, but I couldn’t get here in time.”

  “It was nothing, Blake. Max wouldn’t hurt me.”

  “What’s wrong, Alex?”

  “I don’t know what to do. I’m caught between two billionaires.” Blake brought me into his arms and held me for a few. “Do you want some coffee?” Blake nodded yes, and I asked him in.

  Crystal appeared in the doorway to her room. “I didn’t know you were here, Crystal.”

  “I just talked to Jonas, and he’s having a terrible time in jail. He can’t stand the confinement. And Max hasn’t been there to see him. Please ask Max to do something.” I held Crystal until she felt better. She disappeared into her room and closed the door. I glanced at Blake.

  He watched as I prepared the coffeemaker. It only brewed one cup at a time. I brought it to him, and he sat quietly looking down into the cup. “Can you do something to help, Blake? Do you think Jonas killed that girl?”

  “I can’t discuss the case, and no I don’t think he did it.” Please don’t say Max killed her. I couldn’t handle it, I thought.