The Light in My Heart

by Jerry Rosendorn

  I drove to Teresa and Joe’s home, which turned out to be the largest unit in a historic apartment building they owned near the Twentieth Century Fox Studios. The studio had owned the building; housing their actors and actresses who were working on films. Teresa claimed that Clark Gable stayed in their unit.

  When I arrived, they showed me around their home. The highlight of my tour was walking up an ornate grand stairway that led to two bedrooms on the second floor. Afterwards, they invited me into the living room where I found high ceilings framed in detailed crown moldings and beautiful beveled glass windows looking out into a private bricked courtyard.

  As soon as I sat down, Teresa began hammering me with legal questions. I thought this was a good trade for her: Dinner for legal advice. But, where was the friend she wanted me to meet? Did she cancel and Teresa didn’t have the heart to tell me?

  Just as Teresa asked another legal question, she looked at her watch and said, “I don’t know what’s keeping her; I hope she didn’t get lost.”

  I was thinking just the opposite; hoping it would be an early evening. Just as I checked the time on my watch, there was a knock at the door; Joe got up to open it.

  As she walked in, I slowly rose to get a better look; I couldn’t believe my eyes. Was it really her after all these years? The face was the same, more mature, yet so sophisticated and beautiful. With the same short dark hair now styled like a Paris model, and those beautiful dark eyes.

  Theresa’s voice slowly filtered through the shock that shrouded my thoughts, “Jake, Jake, do you remember Sharon? She works with us remodeling our buildings.”

  My eyes opened wide and I struggled for words.

  “Sharon, is it you?”

  “Yes, Jake.”

  I froze where I stood; I was so happy to see her again.

  Teresa felt compelled to break the ice so she talked on and on about the beautiful job Sharon did designing and remodeling the units.

  Finally, after sounding like a broken record, she invited us into the dining room; where I was directed to a seat across from Sharon. With dinner being served and Teresa monopolizing the conversation, I had to be content to look at Sharon’s face and dream about having some time alone to talk with her.

  It was nearly nine-thirty when the dinner plates were removed and my patience was thinning; I decided to take a chance.

  “Teresa,” I said in an authoritative tone, “I have an early appointment tomorrow, I need to leave.” Then, without waiting for her response, I looked at Sharon, “May I walk you out to your car?”

  Looking confused until she caught on to what I was doing, Sharon smiled back, “Okay.”

  Suddenly, things were moving too fast for Teresa. “What about dessert and coffee?” she demanded. “And, I want the two of you to stay here so you can get reacquainted.”

  “Teresa, it’s been a great evening; we’ll do it again,” I said, not giving in to her. “I’ve got to get going. I promise while I walk Sharon to her car, we’ll talk. Good night to you. Thanks, Joe.”

  The cool night air began to ease my tension as we walked out to Sharon’s car; she had parked right behind me. As I escorted her, I asked, “Would you like to talk for a few minutes?”

  “I thought you had an early appointment tomorrow,” she said as if she caught me with my hand in the cookie jar.

  “Sharon, you know I made that up. I had to get out of there and I was hoping you’d come with me. I’m still in shock; pinching myself it’s really you. I need some time to talk to you.”

  We stopped near my car.

  “Please, sit with me for a little while,” I pleaded. “I’ve been stuck listening to Teresa go on about her tenant issues until I was ready to jump out of my skin. Please, please sit for a while.”

  She laughed in agreement; we both got into my car. She spoke first.

  “Jake, that’s the price you pay for representing Teresa. I know she’s a challenge, but look at the pay-off. Tonight,” she paused for comic effect, “you got a home-cooked meal.” I thought she was going to say something else as I smiled and silently thanked Teresa for inviting me over. Then, I laughed.

  Sharon smiled back. “When I started working for Teresa and Joe, they told me they had a wonderful lawyer. As you became more and more successful, Teresa told me about your accomplishments. She showed me some articles about how great you are as a mediator. What do they call you? Oh yes, Mr. Mediator. That’s quite an honor for a boy who grew up in the Valley.

  “After a couple of years, I finally worked up the courage to tell Teresa I knew you from school and that you’d always been kind to me. She asked me if I wanted her to set up a dinner and invite you over. I told her I couldn’t, I wasn’t ready; I was still hurting from my divorce. She told me she understood; assuring me when I was ready, you’d be there.”

  Before she continued, Sharon touched my right shoulder. “Jake, I always knew you liked me. Do you realize that we’ve known each other since the age of twelve?”

  She laughed at the thought of how young we were and then she corrected herself. “Actually, we only knew each other for a few years; then there was this big gap, but during that time your friendship was very important to me; you listened and you were kind to me. Those were two things missing in my marriage and after going through a divorce, I didn’t want to meet anyone new.

  “A couple of months ago, I was thinking about you, wondering what it would be like to see you again. Just the fact I was thinking about you convinced me I was ready. So, I asked Teresa to invite you over. Even though I didn’t expect to be sitting across the table while you were giving out legal advice; I am grateful you’re spending some time with me now. I want you to know this whole experience of seeing you again is so good for me. I hope you feel the same way.”

  “I do,” I said smiling from ear to ear.

  We sat in my car for over two hours. I was pleased to learn she had realized her dream of becoming an interior designer; that she lived in a condominium in Encino and worked in Santa Monica near my office. But, she had a lot of stress in her life starting with her marriage; then the divorce from Egal.

  I began to tell her a little about myself when I realized how late it was getting. “Let’s get together again,” I suggested. “We have so much more to catch up on.”

  Sharon nodded her assent and responded, “You know, since I was a teenager, my father has always been there for me. He comforts me when I’m low and raises my spirits by telling me how proud he is of me. Occasionally, he throws in a pearl of wisdom to guide me. One piece of advice he gave me was if I meet someone I like and he suggests we get together, I should always say, ‘When?’ So Jake, when would you like to get together?”

  “Are you free for lunch on Friday?”

  “Yes, I am. It’s a date. You know, I haven’t been out on one of those in a very long time.”

  “Can you meet me at noon at The Beach Grill on the Promenade?”

  “It’s two minutes from my office. I’ll be there.”

  Chapter 38

  February 1998

  Sharon had developed into a stunning woman, but I didn’t know enough about her inner being. I wondered what the passage of time, plus a divorce, did to her. I felt conflicted: Should I have left the wonderful image of that teenage beauty alone and just said “good night” at the end of our evening at Teresa’s house? But, I couldn’t, something strong was drawing me to her. Was she the one I was searching for?

  On the morning of our lunch date, I paced around my office trying to stay busy, all the while, my thoughts were with Sharon. Just before noon, I walked to the restaurant where I found her seated at a table near the back. I walked over and joined her.

  She smiled as I approached. I couldn’t contain my happiness; my mouth stretched into a broad grin.

  “Hello, Sharon.”

  “Good afternoon, Jake. Or should
I call you, ‘Mr. Mediator?’ In an effort to impress me, Teresa constantly refers to you that way and says you have a great legal mind. She also told me you are very picky with the women you go out with.”

  “That seems to be one of her favorite phrases.”

  Sharon smiled; she knew how Teresa worked on both of us. Looking around for the waiter, she said, “I’m having a glass of wine. Would you like one?”

  “No, thank you. I don’t drink much and not during working hours.”

  “Mr. Mediator, are you afraid of losing control?” She giggled as she spoke, “Don’t worry, I won’t take advantage of you.”

  Not wanting to say the wrong thing, I looked down before I spoke.

  “In truth Sharon, I feel guarded sitting with you. I always wanted another chance to see you. You see, I have warm feelings for you.”

  I was stunned by my own words; I looked away from Sharon to regain my composure. Then, as my eyes came back to see her, I noticed how lovely and exotic she looked. She was wearing a beautiful blouse that revealed a hint of her breasts. Her dark brown hair matched her gorgeous brown eyes, each highlighting her high cheek-bones and full lips. Had I not known she was Jewish, her smooth olive complexion would have led me to believe she was Greek or Italian.

  The waiter took our order and while she was talking to him, I caught myself staring at her. I felt like I was back at my elementary school graduation trying to work up the courage to ask Ronnie for a dance. My lack of composure rattled me, until I realized she was probably feeling the same way. With that thought in mind, I took the lead.

  “When I saw you at our high school graduation, I would have sworn it was for the last time.”

  She nodded, “From time-to-time, I’ve thought of you, wondering how you were doing. Then, around five years ago, by luck or maybe by some divine intervention, I started working for Teresa. As you know, she and Joe have been buying old residential buildings; I’ve been designing the interiors and working with their general contractor to supervise the remodeling. When she first talked about her attorney, Jake, I had a feeling it was you. I remembered you once told me in high school you wanted to be an attorney.”

  “Sharon, it is mind-boggling to think thirty years has gone by. Tell me about those thirty years.”

  “It hasn’t been easy. There were good things like my wedding, our travels in Europe, my study of art and design, and getting my college education. I think, my greatest accomplishment was establishing my business and fulfilling my dream to become an interior designer. But, on the other hand, there was my divorce and what it did to me.”

  She paused to ponder her last thought as our meals were served, then continued, “You know, I am very nervous and a little scared to be here with you. So many issues are swirling around in my head. Most of all, I’m beating myself up over whether or not I deserve to be happy. It’s like I had my chance and blew it. Sometimes I think life doesn’t offer a second chance.”

  Her face became consumed with unhappy thoughts. To steady herself, she took another sip of wine and refocused on me. “Jake, you asked me to tell you about myself. Well, I need to know about you and those same thirty years in your life. More than that, the big question is: What should I do with those warm feelings you have for me?”

  Realizing how important that question was to her, I needed to explain.

  “I’m getting too old for games so probably the direct approach is the best one,” I started. “Sharon, before I saw you at Teresa’s house, I looked for a kind and loving woman. I even saw a therapist to learn more about myself. Then, I saw you.”

  Sharon seemed to be a little shocked to respond, as she turned and waved down the waiter. Turning slowly back to me, she looked into my eyes. “I think I need some more wine.”

  After a short pause, Sharon smiled and said, “We seemed to be involved in a heavy dialog for two old friends meeting for a casual lunch. You see, I have similar thoughts. But, I didn’t think there was any way I was going to tell you those things today. You need to know my emotional system can’t take a rejection from you. But, since you’ve opened the door, I need some wine to calm down; my heart is racing.”

  Her second glass of wine arrived and she took a long sip followed by a relaxed sigh. “I need to find my way past some emotional roadblocks created by my marriage so we can get to know each other better.”

  “Tell me about those roadblocks.”

  After another sip of wine, she took a deep breath and began.

  “I was married for almost twenty-five years. Egal was smart and charming; I thought he was my soul mate. But, when things got bad for us, I knew he was the wrong man for me. We got divorced around five years ago. Thankfully, we had no children, though I had one miscarriage. At that time, I was feeling low, now I see it as a blessing; God was looking out for me.”

  “Why did your marriage break up?”

  “He was cheating on me. For about the last ten years of our marriage, I was supporting us because Egal’s business failed, and, he was as he put it, ‘looking for the right opportunity.’ I’m not sure if that meant a business or a personal opportunity, but he was clearly looking for it.

  “There I was, getting up early and working hard. When I left for work in the morning, Egal was still in bed. When he got up, he treated our home like a hotel room; waiting for the maid to clean up. When I got home, the household still needed to be taken care of. Instead of working with me as a partner, he was selfish and self-absorbed.”

  “Did he find another business or did he find a job?”

  “Neither. A couple of years before we got married, and during the first ten years of our marriage, he and his business partner owned two restaurants in the Valley. But, they got into a dispute and the restaurants closed. It got so bad that Egal thought his partnership would have to file bankruptcy. So, I worked hard and he stayed below the radar to avoid the creditors who were looking for him. I went along with all of this because I loved him.

  “After closing the restaurants, he had some cash in the bank. I told him to find another business, buy it, and get back on his feet. Until then, I felt it was my job to support us, which I did, and he did nothing except find comfort in another woman’s arms.

  “I was providing our only income; whatever I earned paid our bills.”

  “How did you find out he was cheating on you?”

  “The way he was acting and my intuition. When I finally confronted him, he admitted it. I think he was relieved it all came out.

  “I should have left him then, but he begged me to stay. I kept thinking of our years together and couldn’t bring myself to divorce him, not just yet. The truth is I didn’t want to admit I failed. My business was doing well; I thought I had the ability to solve my own problems. I kept pushing myself to patch things up with Egal.

  “Yet, as determined as I was to save my marriage, my self-confidence was slipping; I was scared to death of being on my own. But Jake, one morning I woke up with the revelation I’d been on my own for a long time. For many years, he wasn’t my partner; he wasn’t there for me. Even though he didn’t work and I was okay supporting us, he never asked me about my day or how I felt about things. He was too wrapped up in his own issues. He avoided our marriage so he could get a quick fix with another woman; he quit on me. That morning I realized I was already on my own; I didn’t need him. My decision was made; I moved into my own apartment.

  “This was a terrible time in my life. I was so sad and distraught; I didn’t think I’d ever trust another man. But, I vowed to become a stronger person.

  “Jake, I got so scared when you told me you have warm feelings for me. There is a saying if you are once bitten by a snake, you’re always afraid of white and black rope.”

  I reached across the table and touched her left hand.

  She sighed and nodded. “Getting comfortable with you will take time. When Egal rejected me for some
one else, I kept asking myself: Why didn’t he love me?”

  I listened to her words and no response was needed from me. The important thing was for her to know I was listening.

  “Sharon, I want to see you again.”

  “Remember what my father told me?” She smiled and inquired, “When would you like to get together again?” Then she added, “Jake, I’ve been doing a lot of talking and sharing. What about you? This has to be a two-way street. Even though you may have come to the conclusion you want to see me again, I need enough information to make my own decision about you. I want to know everything about you. Please, don’t hold back.”

  I nodded and smiled at her in a way that told her I would be more forthcoming. “I won’t, Sharon. Before we leave, may I have your cell phone number?”

  After Sharon gave me her number, we got up from the table; I bent over and kissed her on the cheek. She responded with a warm smile. We walked out of the restaurant together and I said I’d call her later. I watched her walk away; then turned and walked back to my office.

  At the end of the workday, I walked out to my car and dialed Sharon’s number. After two rings, I heard her lovely voice.

  “Hello.”

  “Hello, Sharon. I had a wonderful time at lunch. Thank you for meeting me. And, please thank your father for his great advice.”

  “My pleasure; I’ll tell him. You know Jake, I thought about our discussion. I’m surprised I told you so much. Was it the two glasses of wine or do you make me feel so comfortable I suddenly have loose lips? Maybe it was the wine because I still feel a little buzz. Did I tell you my shoe size? I seemed to have told you everything else.”

  I was willing to try and guess her size; maybe it would impress her.

  “Sharon, we didn’t get around to your shoes, but I want to show you how well I’ve been observing you. I am guessing you wear size eight.”

  “You are close. I’m size eight and one-half. The important thing is the very smart Mr. Mediator is paying close attention to me. Is there anything else you want to know? Would you like to know my measurements?”