Goddess, Guilted

by Jacqueline M Green

  She listened a few moments, a half-smile breaking out on her face. When she clicked off, she turned her body back toward mine. “Good news: They’ve released Angelica. She is at home with Mama and the boys already!”

  “Josie, that’s awesome. Did they find the real killer?”

  Josie paused, playing with her phone, then looked back up at me, her face tight with worry. “That’s the bad news. They’ve arrested Tamara and Deangelo.”

  Chapter 20

  “First Angelica, then Tamara and Deangelo? Who’s next on the list of least-likely suspects – me?” I stopped myself and looked at Josie. “Never mind. I don’t even want to go down that path.”

  “Good choice.”

  I sat back on the passenger seat for a moment and wondered what the best plan of action was. I shivered again.

  “Okay, first I’m going to dry off and put on fresh clothes, then we can drive into town. Do you mind waiting a few minutes?”

  “Nope.” Josie unclicked the seat belt, exited the car and followed me into the house. The banging of cabinets and pans echoed from downstairs while I jumped into a hot shower. At first, the water was so hot it hurt my frozen skin. Then it began to tingle until finally I just felt warm again. I signed in contentment. Another pan banged, reminding me to hurry up.

  I dried off and dressed quickly in another pair of yoga clothes. That was definitely one of the advantages to being a yoga instructor and studio owner. No one looked twice at me for wearing workout gear at all hours of the day. Truth be told, I had very few clothes that weren’t yoga gear, particularly with the new brands of yoga clothes that bragged that you could wear them to the office.

  I hurried downstairs to find Josie sitting at my kitchen table with a cup of tea and a bowl of soup before her. She waved me to the other chair and brought over another bowl of soup and a cup of tea.

  “Thank goodness you keep canned soup on hand.”

  “Usually I make it from scratch, but the canned stuff is helpful in a pinch.” I daintily sipped from my soup spoon, knowing that Josie was casting an evil eye on me. Then I smiled. “Not really.”

  “I knew it.” She leaned forward and sipped some of the soup from her bowl. “Still, it sure works when you’re cold.”

  We quickly finished the soup, then hurried back to town, me to teach a class and Josie to track down Angelica and see if she could give her more information about Tamara.

  Stepping into the studio, I spread out my mat at the front of the room and sat down, mindfully doing some pelvic rotations as I pondered the best poses to do in light of Tamara’s arrest. I didn’t know yet if she would still be available to teach on Saturday.

  I decided a grounding sequence would help me and my students accept whatever was going to happen, so after warming up, I moved through a Dancing Warrior sequence, flowing from one Warrior to another in tune with the breath. I stepped into a Goddess pose, then moved into Malasana, a sort of yoga squat with my hands at my heart and my elbows pressing out my knees.

  I paused in Malasana, letting my shoulders relax and pressing my forehead to my hands as if in prayer. What would happen now that Tamara was arrested? I didn’t believe she killed Jerry, but did I know for sure? And could I completely discount what Jerry had said with his last breaths – “Goddess”?

  Two classes later, I locked the studio doors, knowing what I had to do. I drove directly toward the Sheriff’s Post. Josie was behind the front window when I came in.

  She smiled the best Deputy-With-a-Desk-Job smile she could, then motioned me around to the side door. “Good news. They let Deangelo go. Apparently, he wasn’t really under arrest in the first place.”

  I sighed in relief. “What happened?”

  “He has an alibi. Surveillance video shows him at the hardware store right before he picked up Tamara that night. He was there for at least a half hour before he went to the hotel.”

  “He sure has spent a lot of time at the hardware store.”

  Josie shrugged. “Mama has a lot of projects.”

  “Why are you still on desk duty then?”

  Josie glanced back over her shoulder to make sure no one was listening in. She leaned closer. “Angelica is not completely off the hook. She’s wearing an ankle bracelet and is on house arrest for now.”

  Then she peered at me closer. “Why are you here?”

  “I want to see Tamara.”

  Josie nodded and motioned me back to the front desk. She picked up the phone. A few moments later, Neil emerged from a side door and came into the lobby. At first he smiled, then his demeanor changed as he took me by the elbow to a lobby chair.

  “What are you doing here, Mariah?”

  “I came to see Tamara.”

  “She’s in a jail cell waiting to make a plea in her case.”

  “She didn’t do it.”

  “You don’t know that.” Neil’s eyes were sad. I knew that in all his years in law enforcement, he had seen and encountered so many horrific scenes. “The evidence points to her.”

  I crossed my arms and leaned away from Neil, deciding to try another tack. “I want to see her. She is supposed to present a workshop at my studio this weekend, and if I have to cancel it, I will lose a ton of money. Plus, my reputation will be compromised because my workshops will be deemed unreliable.”

  My eyes challenged him to fight me on this request, knowing what it could do to my business, which was just recovering from last month’s murder.

  Neil crossed his arms in response, He looked at me a long time, then he nodded. “Deemed unreliable, eh? Okay, you can talk to her. But if she tells you anything important, I need to know about it, Mariah.”

  “Thank you.” I made no concession about telling him what I learned. Maybe I would, maybe I wouldn’t.

  I followed the guard down the narrow hall I had walked with Josie just the day before. Truth be told, I had spent more than my fair share of time in the Jasper Sheriff’s Department holding cells. I might have to rethink these “investigations.”

  Tamara was sitting in a cell, her back against the wall, eyes closed. She opened them when I came through the door. Sadness practically spilled from them. The guard wouldn’t open the cell to let me in, so I sat down on the concrete floor just outside the cell and leaned forward against the bars. I wanted her to know that I was with her, that I believed in her.

  “What can I do to help?” I asked softly.

  Tamara closed her eyes again and shook her head. “I just feel so defeated, Mariah. I don’t know why I’m here. I didn’t kill anybody or ask anyone else to kill anybody.”

  “I know.”

  “You do?” She sat up, looking surprised. “What do you mean?”

  I shrugged. “I don’t think you’re a killer. I don’t think you’re a very good girlfriend for Deangelo, but I don’t think you’re a killer.”

  Tamara laughed shortly. She swung her legs over the edge of the bed and moved down to the floor, her back resting against the bed.

  I looked around the cell. “I had a stay in here, you know. They thought I killed someone, too, so I know what you’re going through. For what it’s worth, I figured the less I moved, the fewer germs I was liable to touch.”

  She looked around the cell and agreed. “I can’t figure out where to sit without touching something.”

  “Tamara, tell me why they arrested you. Why does Neil think you killed Jerry McIntyre?”

  Tamara’s shoulders together and she seemed to briefly fold in on herself. She looked around the room, then crept over beside me just on the other side of the bars.

  “We – my family – used to visit Jasper when I was a kid. My dad loved the outdoors here and Mom just liked the peace and quiet. Dad had an old aunt that lived here for a while, so we stayed with her.”

  I nodded silently.

  Tamara tightly clasped her hands together. “Sometimes I would go to the Corner Mercantile and Sandy and Jerry let me help out, stock shelves and stuff like that to earn pocket money while
we were here. They seemed really sweet. At first.”

  Tamara realized her hands were clasped and released them, alternately stretching them out and fisting them as her brow furrowed.

  “Then one summer, when I was alone in the storeroom with Jerry, he-“ Tamara looked away. “He attacked me and molested me. If Sandy hadn’t come into the storeroom, I don’t know what would have happened. She saw what was going on and took me out of the room, helped me straighten my clothes. She calmed me down and gave me some soda and then sent me home. Before I left the store, she took my face in her hands and said that if I told anyone, she would deny it.”

  We sat silently. I grieved the sadness of the young Tamara.

  “We never went back to Jasper.”

  “Did you tell your parents?”

  “Not until we went home a few days later. My parents were furious, but I told them no one else would believe me. I begged them not to say anything. It would be my word against Sandy’s.”

  “I heard Sandy and Jerry paid your parents a lot of money to keep them quiet.”

  Tamara scoffed.

  “So Neil thinks you stabbed Jerry in retaliation?”

  Tamara laughed shortly. “As if.” She turned to look me square in the face. “I forgave Jerry and Sandy long ago. I talk in my workshop about a traumatic event that I learned to put behind me. I love that little girl who didn’t know how to stand up for herself.”

  I smiled at her. “Because she grew up and learned to stand on her own two feet.”

  Tamara’s eyes sparkled. “It’s part of my story, but it’s not my whole story. Yoga and meditation were so important in getting me here.” She paused and looked around us. “Well, not here specifically, but you know what I mean.”

  I did know. Yoga had taken me to a new life, too.

  “Did you know Jerry had a flyer for your workshop in his hand?” I wanted to ask her about that, but I didn’t know yet if I would mention that Jerry had said “Goddess.”

  Tamara tilted her head to the side in puzzlement. “Why would he care? It’s been fifteen years and, if I’ve heard correctly, he’s been drunk for most of that time?”

  I couldn’t answer that question any more than she could.

  We sat in silence for a few moments longer, then she looked at me again. “So why don’t you think I’m a good girlfriend for Deangelo?”

  “Lou at Luigi’s Pizza.”

  Silence greeted my statement. She looked over, a little sheepishly. “How do you know about that?”

  I waved a hand. “That’s not important. I just know. When did you hook up with him?”

  “Right after I got to town.” A soft smile appeared on her face and her cheeks flushed. “We just connected, right? It was intense right from the start.” She frowned. “I do feel kind of bad about Deangelo, though. He’s a good guy.”

  “Does he know about you and Lou?”

  “He probably does now. We did go into the coffee shop together today.”

  A light bulb came on. “Wait a minute. You’re the one who made Lou go to CeCe’s?”

  Tamara nodded. “After he told me what you had said about him not going to the other businesses, I told him karma would bite him in the butt if he didn’t change his behavior. So we went to CeCe’s. Their lemon jasmine tea is amazing, right?”

  I had to give her that one. She was correct about CeCe’s tea. “One more question, Tamara. Did you ever hear of any other girls who might have been assaulted by Jerry?”

  She thought for a moment. “Only one other that I knew of. Angelica.”

  The air whooshed out of my lungs. Angelica had been attacked by Jerry, too? Did Neil and Cindy know?

  The guard cleared his throat and tapped his wrist to tell me my time was almost up. I gave him the “just a minute” sign and clambered to my feet.

  “Do you think they will let you out before Saturday?”

  Tamara shrugged. “Maybe you should cancel the workshop?”

  “Let’s wait a day or two and see what shakes out.”

  CeCe and I would be poking around and something was bound to turn up.

  Tamara blew me a kiss. “At least this is giving me a chance to practice satya. I can’t be anything but who I am here, right?”

  Chapter 21

  Neil sat in the lobby of the Sheriff’s Post, his feet stretched out in front of him and his arms crossed behind his head. I should have known he would still be waiting for me. He appeared deep in thought, but his eyes flickered to mine as the door clicked open and Josie gestured for me to walk through.

  She quickly closed the door behind me and within a few moments was back at her post at the front desk, her eyes on the papers in front of her instead of at Neil or me, but I was pretty sure she wouldn’t miss a thing.

  Neil turned his head to look at me, pulling in his legs and patting the seat beside him. I remained standing, my legs still too shaky after what Tamara had just told me.

  “Are you okay, Mariah?”

  I quickly glanced at Josie, then sat down. “We need to talk.”

  He hopped up from his seat, pulling me with him. “Let’s walk.”

  Neil motioned to Josie he was leaving. She nodded at him and made a note, then raised her eyebrows at me as soon as he looked away. We turned away from Main Street, taking us down the sidewalk away from downtown. We walked for a few moments in silence, he with his hands in his pockets.

  Finally he spoke.

  “What’s going on?”

  “Tamara just told me that Angelica was assaulted by Jerry, too,” I blurted out. “This could change everything! I might have been wrong about Angelina.”

  Neil stopped and put both hands on my shoulders. “Mariah, calm down. I know. Angelica told us. It was an attempted assault. Apparently, Jerry was too drunk most of the time to follow through.”

  I made a face. “But that doesn’t change that he kept trying. I wonder if there are others?”

  “Probably. It’s been my experience that people like that don’t just try once or twice. Is that what you went to see Tamara about?”

  “No, it just came up.”

  We turned and started walking again, passing a few homes on the edge of town.

  “You know why I was there. Why did you even ask that question?”

  “It’s an investigative technique. Always better to ask than assume. For instance, what were you doing at the river today?”

  My mouth dropped open and I looked at my watch, then looked up admiringly. “Wow, you are good. We haven’t even been back three hours yet. Sheriff Cindy is rubbing off on you.”

  He brushed off pretend lint from his shoulder.

  He walked silently next to me. “What else did you learn?”

  I shrugged. “I don’t know, not being a trained investigator and all, I can’t imagine that I would learn more than a big, strong deputy like you.”

  He stopped again to look at me, then grinned. “Flattery will get you nowhere, ma’am.”

  “Did you just call me ‘ma’am’? And I was being sarcastic.”

  He tried to keep a straight face as he turned to walk some more. “I know. So you haven’t learned anything else?”

  I hurried to catch up. “I didn’t say that. I’ve learned plenty. I’m just not sure how it all fits together.”

  “It’s always a puzzle.” He used his hands to demonstrate how things fit together. “Eventually one piece will fall into place, then another and another until suddenly you see how the whole thing fits together. At least, that’s what they taught us in big, strong deputy investigator school.”

  Even from his peripheral vision, I could see the twinkle in his eye.

  We stopped in our tracks. The sidewalk had run out. Turning around, we headed back toward the post.

  “Satya,” I whispered. “Finding the absolute truth.”

  “It’s what I strive for every day.” Neil shoved his hands back into his pockets as he walked. We walked in silence back to the post, pausing at the door.

&
nbsp; “You’re not going to quit looking into this, are you?” Neil paused with his hand on the door.

  I shook my head. “I promised I would help.”

  Neil took a deep breath in response. “Let me know what you find out.”

  “I will if you will.”

  “No way.”

  “Okay, then, have a great day.”

  “Okay then, have a great day.”

  My eyes widened in surprise. “Did you just mock me, detective?”

  His eyes twinkled again. “Have a good day, Ms. Stevens.”

  With that, he opened the door and stepped inside.

  Chapter 22

  The morning Sun Salutations class was oddly full. I think Tamara’s workshop had put yoga front and center in many students’ minds, so they were coming to class more in preparation for Saturday. I sent her a silent “thank you” as I settled on my mat to open class.

  Even Deangelo, Josie and Angelica turned up. Josie made a face as she caught my eye when they trooped through the door.

  “You’re spending an awful lot of time lately on your yoga practice, Josie,” I commented from the safety of my office door.

  Deangelo and Angelica grinned. “We dragged her with us,” Angelica laughed, throwing an arm around her big sister.

  Josie just shrugged. “It’s not that I don’t like yoga. It’s starting to grow on me.” With that, she grinned and took her mat to find a place in the studio.

  Angelica lifted her leg to show me the bulky ankle bracelet she was wearing.

  “Oh, no, they’re really making you wear that thing?”

  Angelica laughed. “Don’t worry about it, Mariah. It’s better than being in the jail cell. Apparently, they didn’t want Tamara and me in there at the same time.” She leaned in conspiratorially and lowered her voice. “Josie doesn’t want me to talk about it. I guess they didn’t want Tamara and me getting our story straight.”