Nodding, I did as he said; I forced my eyes to the man’s, ignoring the terrified look on his face.
As soon as our eyes were locked, that same, sharp pain exploded inside me piercing my heart and my brain all at once.
My breaths wouldn’t come and the white, searing heat spreading through my body was agony. It was different to the way the Darkness felt when it coursed through my veins. My grip on the man’s hands was tightening; I dug my nails into his skin and grit my teeth. Everything inside me was screaming. I had to do this for my master. I had to prove my worth.
Searching inside him, I felt the essence I was looking for. In Sensitives, our Evolved Sense looked like different colored threads of silk, some were course, some were smooth and some were woven through other colors. But his was simple. A white, thin string wove through his body; I grabbed onto it and pulled.
His energy shifted, and I felt it pouring into me, the fear he had, began to dissipate and slowly, nothing was left.
It felt like hours, though it was probably only minutes, until my master released his hold on me and I sunk into the chair, my head falling forward.
Heavy tears clung to my lashes.
Quickly, I wiped them with the back of my hand and focused on keeping my breathing even.
‘Enough for one day,’ he spoke, softly in my ear, pulling my braid back. He pulled the elastic out, ran his fingers through the length of my hair, and lowered his lips to my ear. ‘Keep your hair out. I like it better like this.’
‘Thank you, master.’ I nodded, breathlessly getting to my feet.
‘Come down for dinner, don’t be late.’
‘I won’t be, master.’ I left the room.
I killed him. The guy, his eyes were blank when I left. Something about that disturbed me.
In a daze, I walked through the house, ignoring the looks of shock from the staff who stared at me. I felt a warm wetness under my nose. I was probably bleeding all over their hallways. I imagined the sight was horrific, tears stained my makeup, my hair clung to my sweaty skin and the blood flowing down my face was the cherry on top.
Finally, I reached my room and slowly took the dress off, letting it drop at my feet before walking to the shower.
I stood in the bathroom, naked, for a while before I turned the water on and stepped in. It hadn’t even warmed up yet but something about the icy, cold stream was welcoming. Everything else felt numb, this didn’t.
My body struggled with each sharp gasp. Why couldn’t I feel anything?
Turning the water off, I dried myself and picked another dress. Green and black lace, with a low back and I knew the perfect heels for this one.
I ducked into the rows of shoes and found them, black, insanely high and the tiniest strap around the ankle and toes. My master would love this. As instructed, I also left my hair out, making sure the loose waves fell nicely over my shoulders.
Fatigue suddenly found me and I couldn’t bring myself to do anything, I dropped heavily into the chair beside my bed and breathed in deeply. Why couldn’t I get up? Why couldn’t I do anything?
Sitting there, letting my shallow breaths settle, I glanced across the room at the clock, having to check twice—five hours had passed. Five hours since I’d come back, since I’d showered and dressed… where did the time go?
Shaking my head, I pushed through the haze and made my way downstairs.
Just on time.
‘Ah, beautiful, Acacia, come.’ He stood and held his hand out. I took it, followed him around the large dining table, and sat.
A few moments of silence passed between as he watched me. He then gestured for the staff to bring in the food.
‘Are you hungry?’
Hungry was an understatement, I was starving, but my stomach was churning.
‘I don’t think I can eat, I’m sorry, master.’
‘Are you feeling alright?’
‘Perhaps I could eat later?’
He looked at me, thoughtfully. ‘Perhaps.’
‘Thank you, master.’ I smiled, and he returned the gesture.
‘It’s a shame if you don’t get to eat; tonight they’ve prepared a lovely, Braised Ox dish.’
My stomach grumbled.
‘If you don’t feel well, I will have them prepare a dish for you to take back to your room.’
‘Thank you so much.’
‘Now tell me, how did you sleep?’
‘Well, thank you.’
‘I hope I didn’t overstay my welcome last night?’
I swallowed a mouthful of potatoes giving him a quizzical look.
He smiled, twirling a glass of scotch in his hand.
‘You were a little overwhelmed by everything, I offered you comfort and you took it.’
Why did that feel wrong? Something inside me shifted, I felt the wrongness of it, but I couldn’t seem to grasp what was making me feel like that.
‘Of course not.’
‘I’m glad to hear that. You’re a beautiful woman Acacia, gifted.’
I felt my cheeks flush, I looked down at the plate. ‘Thank you.’
‘You’re most welcome.’
My eyes flicked up to his before returning my gaze and attention to the food in my plate. I managed to eat at least half before my stomach began protesting.
‘May I be excused?’
He nodded, gesturing for the staff to pack my food.
‘Sleep well, I won’t be able to join you tonight, I’m sorry.’
I swallowed hard. ‘I understand.’
‘Tomorrow we will return to work. We have a lot to do. Get some rest.’
‘I will, thank you.’
I retreated up the stairs, made my way to my room, and once again, pulled the gown off. A red silky night dress was folded over the bed catching my attention.
I changed into it and stopped, looking at the covers on the floor. Why was the bed stripped? I shook my head, pulled the comforter back over the mattress, and crawled under the covers. Hours later, when my eyes became heavy, I turned off all the lights.
***
It was hot. I was barely walking but somehow, I was making progress. The sun was high on the horizon and my heart was heavy, I was alone, I was hurt and Alex...Alex was gone… he’d died, he was in my unit and he died for me… but I got out. I survived… I stopped abruptly. Was I hallucinating? There was someone… someone running toward me, a silhouette against the bright orange sun.
My eyes flew open. Alex. My breath caught. It’d been so long, so much time had passed—why was he on my mind now? I, I couldn’t pin it… it was like Dalca had made me relive memories, things in my past that haunted me and hurt me when I was wide awake and sleep refused to find me.
But why now? Was it my own mortality staring me in the face?
The breath I’d been holding, came out slowly and in that moment, it was like I remembered a part of my past I’d locked away. A sob broke free, but I stifled it with my palm before I broke down completely.
Oh God. How did I stray so far? How did I become so withdrawn and so cold?
Had Alex known about me? There were hints, things he’d said when we were locked up together, like he knew me… really knew me.
Gripping the blanket tightly, I drew it over my head and closed my eyes. It had to get better. It had to.
As my heart rate returned to normal, pieces of the day came back to me. I couldn’t remember everything, but I remembered a lot. I remembered the man, and his eyes. I killed him. I sucked the life out of him and I walked away without so much as a second glance.
And “my master” yuck. Oh God.
He, he said he stayed with me? Offered me comfort? Jesus. What did he do to me? I squeezed my eyes shut and buried my face in the pillow.
It was only day one, and I had another one hundred and nineteen to go.
Tears were stinging the back of my eyes again, I was sick of this. Sick of crying and sick of feeling helpless.
As soon as I could, I would re-evaluate this plan a
nd speak to Daniel. Right now, was not the time.
A glance at the clock shocked me to lucidity. Almost five in the afternoon, how was I losing so much time?
Forcing myself out of bed, I made a beeline for the shower. I had dinner to attend.
Chapter Three
Illarion
Aurel was speaking, I heard words coming out of his mouth but I didn’t grasp anything he was saying. I took another swig of the scotch I’d poured minutes ago, the seventh glass from the third bottle. The vodka had run out. I laughed and Aurel stopped talking.
I smirked to myself. A Russian who ran out of vodka—it sounded like the start of a bad joke.
‘Brother,’ he said gently, sitting on the edge of my desk.
I’d moved myself into the office. I spent more time in here than anywhere else in this giant, empty house. Elsa tried to pry me out but, after the first three weeks, she slowly stopped trying until she didn’t anymore.
She came in every night and collected the food I barely ate, cleaned the glasses I left scattered around the place. But she was always there, quietly looking out for me in the background.
‘Illarion,’ Aurel said, softly again. ‘You with me, man?’
‘What?’ I muttered.
‘This isn’t healthy.’
‘Why are you still here?’
‘Because someone needs to make sure you’re eating and sleeping.’
‘Elsa’s here.’
‘Elsa called me.’
My eyes found his. He was tired. Dark shadows circled his eyes, but he was here. Day in. Day out. Constantly by my side, even when I kicked and screamed, in moments of terror when I woke from nightmares.
He bowed his head and scratched the back of his neck.
‘You don’t have to do this.’ I murmured, taking another drink.
Before I could refill it, Aurel took it from my hand and placed it on the table just out of reach.
‘You need to stop.’ He let out a long. ‘I’m serious. I’m worried about you.’
‘I’m… coping.’ My tongue was so heavy in my mouth it was a wonder I managed to form a sentence.
‘You’re not coping.’ He shook his head, shifting back against the edge of my desk. ‘You’re drinking yourself into a dangerous place and I’m afraid we’re going to lose you too.’
Dropping my shoulders, I looked up at him.
‘I miss her.’
Aurel nodded and bowed his head.
‘I know,’ he whispered.
***
Ace
Ten long and agonizing days had gone past. Day after day, I struggled with the addictive properties of the Serum, the coming down and slight withdrawals grew stronger and the physiological effects on my mind and body grew more intense.
Daniel tried to spend as much time with me as he could but it wasn’t always possible. His father was always around, seemed as though he didn’t really trust his son. I couldn’t blame him.
I had trust issues too, not in the “you won’t keep my evil secrets” kind of way, but issues nonetheless. Yet somehow, I was falling into a comfortable state with him, if you could call it that.
Sucking in a deep breath, I peeled myself away from the toilet and washed my face. I was getting a little too used to wrapping my arms around the cool, ceramic bowl night after night. God, I needed a change of scenery.
A tap on the door drew my attention to it.
‘Come in.’
Tossing the small towel aside, I left the bathroom and smiled as I spotted the bag of McDonald’s in Daniel’s hand.
‘How are you holding up?’
Taking the bag from him, I sat on the floor against the leg of the table.
‘I actually feel like I’m dying, slowly. How about you?’
Daniel sighed; he was clearly unamused.
Sarcasm had always been one of my greatest traits.
‘He’s out for the day.’
‘Where’d he go?’
He shrugged. ‘Didn’t say anything to me, but I did see something on his desk about Long Island.’
My eyes shot up.
‘Is that important?’
‘Illarion lives in Long Island.’
‘Surely it’s a coincidence.’
‘I know you don’t believe that.’
He paused for a moment. ‘Maybe he’s just running surveillance.’
‘I bet he is.’
Discarding the wrapper, I dug into the Big Mac, stuffing a few fries into my mouth every few mouthfuls or so.
Illarion could take care of himself, I had to believe that. He had Aurel and Michael, most of the Agency would be behind him too. I forced myself to relax. I had to look after me right now.
‘We need to hurry this dose thing up.’ I spoke around the fries, making more room for eating and less time for talking.
‘We can’t, I told you before-’
‘It’s dangerous, I know-’
‘Then you know I can’t speed it up.’
Sighing, I stuffed a few more fries in my mouth before washing them down with some Coke.
I screwed up the empty wrappers, stuffed them into the paper bag, and looked up at Daniel.
He was still eating his burger.
‘I can’t do this, for that long.’
His eyes found mine, and I knew he understood. He’d seen many before me, he’d seen the effects on them and how they slowly, painfully withered away to nothing.
‘The others… they didn’t go through what I am… did they?’
‘Ace-’
‘Please don’t lie to me.’
His looked away for a moment before returning his attention to me.
‘No.’
A breath caught in my chest but I nodded.
‘I’m so sorry.’
‘Yeah.’ I looked away, I didn’t want him to see me cry. I blinked back the haze and swatted the few tears that escaped with my hand. ‘I know it’s dangerous but I won’t let him hurt you, if I'm lucid enough to fight, I will fight.’
Daniel tossed his half-eaten burger in the bag and wiped his hands on the small napkins. Guess he lost his appetite.
‘You know it’s not me I’m worried about.’
‘If we don’t do something sooner….’
Air caught in my throat. I couldn’t finish the sentence. I couldn’t afford to let my mind wander to those nights I was completely under the Serum and had no recollection of what I’d done… or what was done to me.
Swallowing back the nausea, I looked up at him again.
‘I know there are things that I don’t want to ever remember, I know what he does to me when I’m not in my own head… Daniel, I can’t do it.’
‘Ace-’
‘I'm not asking you to cut me off completely, just speed it up. That’s all.’
‘It’s not that simple.’
‘Yes, it is!’ I was losing my composure and the panic attack I’d been holding at bay was starting to rear its head.
‘Ace. Listen to me.’
‘Don’t.’ I hissed, my voice shaking. ‘Don’t try to rationalize this with math and science.’
‘I’m trying to rationalize this by not killing you!’
Stunned into silence, I stopped whatever I was about to say, shocked at the fact that he’d raised his voice.
‘I’m sorry.’ He pressed his fingertips together and sighed. ‘I have to do some calculations, leave it with me.’
‘Thank you.’ I nodded, dropping my gaze to the brown, paper bag.
‘Yeah.’ He nodded.
‘I know he’s your father….’ I looked up at him. ‘But when I get out, I won’t hesitate to kill him.’
‘I know.’ A muscle twitched along his jaw.
I looked down at my hands and took a deep breath. ‘What is his end game? What did he use all the other Sensitives for?’
‘Practice.’
‘Practice for what?’
‘He doesn’t tell me everything, but he did mention there was a plan to take th
e Agency.’
That didn’t make sense, but I considered it for a moment before shaking my head.
‘That’s only a part of it, there has to be something else.’
‘I know he was searching for you, trying this whole conduit thing on the others to make sure he didn’t kill you when he finally got to you.’
‘So, he’s practicing for something big?’
‘I don’t doubt that, but I don’t know what.’ Daniel shrugged.
‘Okay… can you get something for me?’
‘What do you need?’
I thought for a second and got up, grabbing a notepad from the desk.
‘You can’t make contact with anyone on the outside, your father has people everywhere. So, you need to reach this person.’ I scribbled Vanessa’s contact information on the paper and handed it to him. ‘She was my contact when I was in the military and she is the most secure, untraceable person I know. The kicker is, she doesn’t know I’m alive, so you’ll have to be quite to the point when you speak to her or she might kill you.’
‘Why can’t we get her to contact Illarion? She’s super covert and all that; surely she could get the message across.’
A lump formed in my throat. I had thought of that, I went through a dozen scenarios and each one brought me to the same conclusion.
‘Ace?’
‘Because Dalca will kill him.’
Understanding found his eyes.
‘What do you need?’
‘Information about the running of the Agency and how Sensitives came to power… the information is at St Augustine’s. That’s where she’ll need to go.’
‘The school?’
‘Illarion didn’t tell me everything, but he wouldn’t have left me behind unless he knew something that changed the game.’
Speaking his name aloud brought a fresh pain to my heart but I couldn’t afford to let emotions get in the way, not now. Now I had to think straight, keep my head in the game and work on this plan.
‘Okay. I’ll contact her later today. My father will be back at six. After dinner he has another Sensitive he needs.’
Another Sensitive he needs me to kill. I cringed.
‘We’re down to eighty-nine percent today.’
‘You said you’d try to work it out, to make it quicker.’
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