‘Please, Ace… don’t do this to us,’ he whispered, his lips so close to mine, his breath dancing across my skin.
‘I’m sorry.’ I pulled back, forcing my emotions down.
My heart screamed in agony, there would never be another touch or another kiss. Nothing would ever bring that peace to my heart like he could. But this was the right thing to do. I felt it, amongst the shattered pieces of my soul, I knew it was. I couldn’t lose him, I couldn’t go through that again.
‘I’ll see you in the morning,’ I said, pulling back, hating myself as soon as I broke contact. ‘When it’s done, I’m leaving, please don’t follow me.’
‘Where will you go?’
‘I’ve called ahead, asked the tenants if they’d be willing to move out early.’
He didn’t say a word, he didn’t have to.
As I turned to leave, his desperation to hold on, to fight for us roared through him but I was stronger. I locked onto that part of his heart and pushed him back.
I closed the door behind me, made my way out to the living room, and sat down. Calmly, I opened the files on the laptop and began revising.
***
The night came swiftly and with it, the morning. Before I even realized that I’d been up the whole night, Josh and Daniel came down the stairs, chatting about movies as was their customary choice of discussion, and when Daniel spotted me, he abruptly stopped talking and rapidly moved down the stairs, away from me.
What the hell?
Aurel followed behind them. When he spotted me, the atmosphere changed. I didn’t miss a beat, all three of them looked at me like I was some kind of freak, someone who was falling apart quicker than they could put back together.
I forced my attention back to my work; everyone seemed to have had a rough night. Anna shortly made her way down and stopped when she reached me. She opened her mouth like she was about to say something but instead she gave me a weak smile and then walked around to the table.
Aurel brought me a coffee and placed it beside me, his eyes never once meeting mine. I didn’t blame him. I’d single-handedly destroyed the team dynamic, nearly killed him on the training pitch and broken his best friend. All in a day’s work.
I downed the hot liquid and got up, pushing past Anna.
Illarion still hadn’t made an appearance and my insides began to do back flips. What if he didn’t want to do this anymore? What if he decided that it wasn’t worth the trouble? That I wasn’t worth it.
As soon as I rounded the corner, heading up the stairs, I literally ran right into him.
Illarion stumbled back a few inches, grabbing my shoulders, stopping me from falling down the stairs.
‘Sorry,’ I murmured, pulling back from him.
He held onto me, slowly he raised his hand, brushing a strand of hair from my face. At this point, we were inches apart on the entirely crowded staircase.
‘You haven’t slept,’ he said, so calmly as though nothing happened.
‘Neither have you.’
A smile, that didn’t reach his eyes, met me. ‘I had a lot on my mind.’
I was having trouble focusing on his words when all I could think about was the way my heart and body felt so right when he was so close when his hand was on my cheek. Tears stung the back of my eyes and I pushed him away.
‘I need to get ready,’ I whispered, breaking the hold.
He nodded, and I noticed now, in the light, how dark shadows had formed under his eyes. My heart sunk.
‘I’ll see you downstairs.’
Before he could do anything else that could make me second guess what I knew was right, for both of us, I took the stairs two at a time, slamming my door shut.
I had a quick shower, brushed my teeth, and changed pulling on a black pair of jeans and t-shirt. I threw on a leather jacket and a pair of black, ankle boots with a small heel. Once I was dressed, I pulled my hair up into a ponytail and braided it.
A quick check of the time told me it was already five in the morning and we’d be heading out in less than fifteen minutes. Suddenly, my steely nerves were anything but. I was shaking with fear as I took each step down the stairs. Dalca would be there. I had no doubt; I could feel the dread building with each passing minute.
As I neared the front door, I slowed, Aurel and Illarion were telling Anna to take her things and leave, that it wouldn’t be safe here once they were gone. She nodded, glancing around at all the equipment they’d packed. It looked like we would probably never be coming back here. Not we, I stopped myself. Illarion.
They were ready, by the door with everything they’d packed last night, Daniel and Josh stood a few feet away, looking sombre and again, that weird look from Daniel made me cringe inwardly.
When I reached the table, to drink the rest of my coffee, Daniel came to me, stopping beside me.
‘Be careful,’ he said, softly.
‘You’ve been avoiding me.’
He didn’t deny it.
‘Did Illarion say something to you?’
He nodded.
Shaking my head, I let out a disbelieving breath. ‘He shouldn’t have said anything.’
‘But he was right to. I was out of line, again.’
Turning my face toward him, I bit back the anger. ‘I probably won’t see you again, after today.’
I couldn’t do this. I didn’t have the fight inside me anymore.
‘Why?’ His eyes narrowed.
‘I’m leaving,’ I said, simply, turning my attention back to my coffee.
‘You’re quitting the Agency?’ he asked, lowering his head, keeping his voice low. Wisps of hair fell over his eyes.
‘Yeah.’
‘Illarion’s going with you?’
‘No, just me.’
‘I don’t understand.’
I smiled weakly.
‘I need time to sort myself out. I think, after everything, I need time to heal. You know?’ I said. ‘If I don’t see you again, I wanted to say thank you. For everything you’ve done for me.’
‘Don’t say it like it’s goodbye, Ace,’ he said, softly, shaking his head.
I sighed, running my hand over my braid.
‘I need you to know how much you’ve helped me, you saved my life.’
‘Ace….’
I squeezed his hand with a tentative smile. ‘Thank you, Daniel. I’ll never forget it. I promise, one day, I will make it up to you.’
He shook his head. ‘You don’t have to do anything.’
‘I do,’ I disagreed. ‘I owe you a lot, and I will repay you.’
‘Please be careful.’
‘Always am.’ I winked, gently squeezing his arm.
We said our goodbyes and soon we were back in the Hummer, the four of us.
No one spoke; no one breathed a word about what was waiting for us. The heavy realization that not everyone would make it home today, settled over me in the silence of the Hummer.
There were four other agents who would be meeting us, the same four who came to Dalca’s house and helped us. Men and women who had dedicated their lives to the cause, who answered and took orders regardless of what it could cost them. Men and women who were here to fix the mess I’d made. If only I had been strong enough to stay and fight instead of running.
Illarion pulled up to an old factory, just as the sun came up over the horizon. He opened the trunk, and we moved to retrieve our weapons.
I tucked Spock safely inside my bag and took the Glock Illarion insisted I kept on hand.
Illarion holstered his gun to his thigh strap and moved on to the knives.
‘You and Aurel need to take that exit there.’ He pointed to the large roller door just behind us. ‘Ace, you’re in civilian gear so you can take surveillance from the street.’
Aurel and I nodded as each of us holstered our weapons. I clipped the Glock into the back of my pants and slung the bag over my shoulder.
Soon after, a van pulled up and parked beside us, the four agents from yest
erday got out dressed in all black, weapons holstered and ready to go.
Josh jumped into the back of their van and left with the driver.
‘Everyone on comms?’ Illarion asked.
We all nodded, testing out the connection. Simms moved closer to him and I sighed, dropping my gaze, readjusting my bag for the second time.
She pretty much ignored me completely and being a Sensitive, she probably saw that there was this massive gap between Illarion and I now. I bet she loved that.
Once he was done helping her set up her earpiece, we were set; he holstered his second gun to his other hip, shutting the SUV’s door before he nodded at each of us.
‘Everyone set?’
When we all nodded, he replied. ‘Good, let’s roll out.’
As Aurel and I began to move, followed by the other agents, he stopped me gently catching my wrist in his hand. I also didn’t miss the nasty look Simms threw my way.
‘Be careful,’ he said, softly, ignoring everyone else. His eyes lingered on mine, as did the heavy air between us.
I smiled, tipping my head forward in a nod.
‘You too.’
I pulled free and broke into a jog to catch up with Aurel.
He led us through the dark, underground car park that came to an end just as we reached the far side of the building.
We split into three groups from here. Simms and another agent went through the front entrance, two others took the elevator shafts into the building, and we stopped just above a dirty, smelly manhole. I cringed. I knew where this was going.
‘Down here,’ he nodded to the sewer grate.
Fantastic. I sighed.
‘Alright, after you.’
He lifted the grate, his muscles flexing with the strength it took to pull it free. I could have helped, but I was still bitter about the way our training exercise had gone.
He pulled the heavy grate a few more times and once the gap was big enough to get through, we dropped down into the darkness. He handed me a torch, and we both flicked them on, walking through the wet, smelly slush.
‘I’m never going to be able clean these boots.’
‘Well, you can always buy new boots.’
‘Yeah,’ I nodded.
We reached the end of the tunnel and the bright, morning sun shone through the cracks in the street above. ‘Our target is up there,’ he pointed, glancing at the coordinates on his watch.
‘How long until we move?’
He glanced down at his watch again.
‘Our agent is meant to be moving in half an hour. Got some time to kill.’
I crouched down. I may as well get comfortable. Aurel did the same and leaned against the wall.
‘Do you think they know we’re here?’ I asked quietly, keeping my eyes averted.
‘I doubt it, if they knew, chances are Dalca would know too.’
Yeah, that was a real possibility. One that would be bad news for all of us.
Silence fell in the sewer until Aurel shifted slightly beside me.
‘I can’t begin to understand what you went through.’
Sweet baby Jesus. ‘I don’t think this is the best time to talk about that.’
‘I beg to differ,’ he said, softly, turning his body in my direction. ‘You’ve not spoken to me at all.’
‘And I’m not going to while we’re down in the sewer, quite literally up to our knees in shit.’
He cracked a smile. ‘Best time to talk about a shitty situation, don’t you think?’
‘I appreciate it, but we’re not talking about it.’
Sensing my aversion to the topic, he let out a breath.
‘It’s alright to be scared, Ace. You’ve been through more than anyone could imagine….’
‘I’m not scared,’ I shook my head, finding his eyes. ‘I’m terrified, Aurel, fucking terrified out of my mind.’
He stilled, looking at me.
Swallowing the lump, which had doubled in size, I shook my head.
‘I don’t want to talk about it because it makes it real. It makes what he did to me real, how it affected me, and what I’ve become, real and I’m not ready for it to be real.’
I expected him to argue, but he didn’t. Instead he nodded and gently squeezed my shoulder.
‘When we move, stay close.’ he said, quietly, changing the topic. ‘Don’t try to be a hero.’
‘I’ll try not to.’
‘I’ll head out first, this will take us to the alleyway,’ he explained. ‘We’ll have our vantage point there. Keep out of sight until you have to do your surveillance.’
As soon as our time came, he reached for the grate and moved it, again he struggled for a few seconds before the weight shifted. He climbed up first and pulled me up.
‘Come on,’ he whispered, running along the wall, staying in the shadows.
He dragged us both behind a dumpster where we had a good view of the apartment building our agent was in.
‘We’re in position,’ he said, through the comms.
‘Copy that,’ Illarion replied. ‘Has everyone else got their target in sight?’
The other agents all responded as had we, once we were positioned, we waited.
From the corner of my eye, I caught movement, but it was more than that; it was a feeling, sort of like mine and Illarion’s connection. I turned my head in that general direction and my breath caught. God no.
‘He’s here.’
Aurel moved beside me, placing his body in front of mine.
‘Stay low.’
He was here. My breath was stuck in my throat.
‘What’s happening?’ Illarion’s voice came through the earpiece.
‘Dalca’s here,’ Aurel responded when I failed to.
‘Shit! Keep her out of sight! Keep her safe, do you hear me?’
Aurel nodded, turning to me, but my eyes were glued up ahead. Those eyes, I could see those eyes, those same eyes that watched me for months.
‘Ace.’ He shook my shoulder, cupping my cheeks. ‘Look at me.’
I peeled my eyes away and locked onto Aurel’s.
‘We need to stay quiet.’
‘He can sense me,’ I choked, feeling my blood chill.
His eyes widened. ‘Okay, that’s alright, we’ll figure something out.’
My eyes snapped back to him, he knew I was here; he was counting on it. He also knew how terrified I was. I could feel him, that sick smirk of his was in my head, he was under my skin.
‘He knows she’s here,’ Aurel said, into the comms.
‘Where is he?’ Illarion replied, his voice was full of fear.
‘South side on Fifth.’
‘I’m coming,’ Illarion responded, sheer determination lacing his words.
‘No,’ I whispered, as soon as I found my voice. ‘He knows you’ll come out, that’s what he wants.’
Aurel glanced across at me. ‘What do you suggest we do?’
‘Give me a minute.’
‘We don’t have a minute,’ Aurel said, firmly, looking down at his watch. ‘Our target is heading out soon, he knows that.’
‘Stick to the plan,’ I said, finally. ‘We’re here for a reason.’
‘No,’ Illarion replied, swiftly. ‘If he knows you’re here, he’s waiting for you.’
‘I’m not important, they are.’
‘Ace-’
‘Don’t argue with me, you know the job comes first.’
Aurel pressed his hand to my shoulder, which I shrugged away.
“Acacia.”
His voice was in my head. I jumped, looking around, he was still on the street but his eyes were looking right at us, at me.
“I know you’re there, you think I wouldn’t be able to sense you? After all the time we’d spent together?”
My heart hammered against my ribs. I was frozen.
“We both know why we’re here.”
I couldn’t move.
“We’re here because you came to protect those you let d
own.” His melodic voice drew me out, making me forget how terrified I was of him. “I’m here to offer you a solution.”
My eyes burned with tears. I was vaguely aware of Aurel shouting for me and then he was talking to Illarion through the comms. He was telling him that something was wrong that I was in trouble. I couldn’t snap out of it; I couldn’t tell him I was fine. No. He’d draw Illarion out. He’d draw him out and then all of this would be over. He’d use him to get to me and if I refused, he’d kill him.
But I couldn’t move, not a single coherent thought formed, not a single word came out of my mouth. Nothing I wanted to say came out. I was frozen, like a deer struck by headlights. Pure, unknown fear froze me.
“I will let these agents live, I’ll even let your friends live….” He lowered his voice to a whisper in my head. “I just want you.”
Silence enveloped us. Aurel’s shouting stopped, Illarion’s panicked calls for me stopped. Dalca’s voice stopped.
The street was plunged into an eerie silence.
As though a switch was flipped, and the world was plunged into a whiteout. I looked around. I was no longer behind the dumpster; I was no longer in my black jeans. I was out in the open, in the New York streets only they were empty, not a soul was around and I was dressed in a beautiful yellow summer dress. I was on a date. Illarion’s beautiful eyes found mine as he handed me a bouquet of blood red roses.
I smiled as his hand reached for my cheek, grazing his thumb along the curve of my parted lips. That smile, the way it reached his eyes, full of warmth and love, made my breath catch.
‘You’re so beautiful,’ he whispered, lowering his lips to mine.
My free hand pulled him closer, deepening the kiss, passion and forgotten lust exploded between us, my name was a whisper on his lips as the street disappeared and we were in his bed, in his house, his hands roaming my body, tangled beneath the sheets, feeling every curve, drawing ragged breaths from my lips. I looked up into his eyes as he smiled down at me.
When I blinked, we were in another room, sunlight bathing us as we sat by the bay window in his house. He whispered words to me, caressing my cheek, letting his fingers run through my hair.
‘I love you both so much,’ he said, softly. ‘My two beautiful girls.’
I turned my gaze to the yard outside. A young girl, our daughter, playing in the sun with another little girl. Aurel and Josh were with them, chasing a puppy around the yard laughing with the widest smiles on their faces. She was beautiful. She had my dark, wavy hair and Illarion’s beautiful smile.
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