His sweet words hit me hard, and I know he is right. I only wish I’d had someone on my side, prepared to fight for me when I was younger.
“Thank you.”
“No need to thank me, babe,” he says, pressing a kiss to my temple. “I am only speaking the truth.”
Logan wraps an arm around my shoulder and pulls me to his side. We sit at the table watching Jane and another little girl running around the wooden play area.
Once the sun begins to set, I call out to Jane and wave her back toward us. She waves to her new friend before dashing over.
“My legs are so tired. Do we really have to walk back?” Jane whines before we have even exited the park.
“Yes, sweetie,” I respond, looking down at her pitiful pout.
“Need a lift?” Logan asks, earning a rapid head nod from Jane. Picking her up, he lifts her over his head and sets her down on his shoulders. “How’s the view from up there?”
“It’s so cool!” she exclaims.
After tucking my hand into the crease of Logan’s elbow, we continue our walk back to his house. I have to continuously remind Jane to stay still on his shoulders before she tumbles to the ground, but Logan assures me that he wouldn’t let that happen. Sometimes I feel like such a worrywart when it comes to Jane.
Turning the corner into his driveway, I am surprised to see another car parked next to mine. Of course, the BMW is worth probably twice as much as my car. Logan’s step falters when he notices the car, and a deep scowl develops on his face.
Before I can ask what is wrong, the driver’s door opens and stilettos followed by the longest pair of legs I have ever seen exit the car. Standing tall, she turns to face us, and I can’t believe I had forgotten how beautiful his ex-fiancée is.
Logan digs in his pocket and hands me his keys. “Take Jane inside and I will be right there.”
I stare at him in confusion but grudgingly take the keys. Lifting Jane back over his head, he passes her off to me and guides us around Melody with his hand on my lower back. When we reach the door, he kisses my head before retreating to the driveway.
“Who is that lady?” Jane asks as I insert and twist the key.
“A friend of Logan’s.”
Setting her down in the entryway, she skips off in search of her puzzles. As I am closing the doors, I hear words that stop me in my tracks.
“I didn’t realize this was the time of year when you began your charity work,” Melody says loud enough that it’s obvious her goal was for me to hear.
“What are you doing here, Melody?”
I stand just on the other side of the cracked door, eavesdropping on their conversation and not feeling the slightest bit guilty.
“We didn’t finish our conversation at lunch, so I wanted to stop by, hoping we could talk.”
I get a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach when I hear they shared lunch and he never mentioned it. Thoughts begin to run wild within my head, imagining the two of them reuniting, leaving not only me but also Jane in the dust. Maybe all this was too good to be true after all. Were the words he spoke to me last weekend just a lie? I should have known better than to get too comfortable with Logan.
Having the urge to flee, I think of the best way to grab Jane and get to my car without Logan and Melody seeing. But with her car parked tragically next to mine, that would be impossible. My face warms, and my head is confused as to whether we are sad or pissed about what is going on. Tears build, but I refuse to allow them to fall and show my weakness. Being with Logan, loving him, has made me weak.
I lose track of how long I am standing here and have tuned out the voices coming from outside because my mind is consumed by thoughts of betrayal.
The door bumps into my back, and I snap out of it, realizing Logan is coming into the house and I am busted.
“Hey, are you all right?” he asks, searching my face.
“Uh … yeah. I was just coming to tell you that we have to go,” I lie.
I turn to go get Jane, but he grabs my hand, pulling me back to him.
“Don’t let that get to you,” he says, pointing behind him.
“I’m not. It’s getting late, and Jane still needs a bath, and I’m tired. Everything is fine.”
“No, it’s not,” he argues. “I’m not an idiot, Brenna. I can tell something is bothering you, and you leaving mad will not bode well for me.” He smiles, trying to make light of my mood, but nothing about the knots in my stomach is funny.
“I don’t want to be that girl, Logan,” I say, attempting to keep my tone neutral.
“What girl?” His brows furrow in confusion.
“The girl played for a fool. The one who is too wrapped up in her blissful happiness to realize the rug is being pulled from beneath her feet until it’s too late. I prefer to do the leaving before I get left.”
“I would never play you for a fool. I thought I have been clear on my feelings for you, but maybe not. I love you, Brenna. I’m so fucking crazy about you that I fear what will become of me if you ever vanished from my life. Do you not see that you have the power to destroy me?” He takes a step closer, his hands cradling my face. “I could never hurt you because that would be like injuring myself. Why would you think that?”
His words fill my heart, but still, it does nothing to diminish the doubt floating around in my head. He and Melody are from the same lifestyle, and I hate that it will always be a thought in the back of my head. They have so much more in common. Not to mention, they have a history. Major history.
Resting his forehead against mine, he whispers softly, “Please, don’t let her come between us. You are the one I want to be with, Brenna. You. We haven’t spoken much since I ended our engagement, and I told her that coming here was inappropriate.”
“Did you have lunch with her today?” I ask, pulling out of his grasp.
He raises his hands in defense, shaking his head. “Not like that. I had a business lunch, and she happened to be at the same restaurant and approached me. I told her then the same as I did outside; we have nothing to discuss.” His tone is pleading with me, and his eyes are sincere.
My head bobs up and down. “I believe you,” I say, and it’s the truth. For some reason, I don’t sense that he’s lying. “But I really have to go.”
“Not like this. Please, don’t leave like this, Brenna,” he begs, reaching out for me.
“BrennBrenn!” Jane calls out from the living room, saving me from the intense depths of Logan’s navy eyes.
Without another word, I turn away from him and head in the direction of my niece. I find her lying on her stomach, feet swinging in the air, surrounded by four completed puzzles spread out on the hardwood floor.
“Wow, good job, Jane,” I say, squatting down next to her. “How about I help you clean this up, and then we head home? It’s getting close to bedtime, and you still need a bath.”
“Will you read me a story before bed?” she asks as she takes apart the puzzle pieces and places them back in their boxes.
“Maybe even two.”
She smiles wide, and we finish getting the floor cleaned up and put the boxes back where they go. She skips through the house in search for Logan, and I follow close behind. We find him in the kitchen, both hands braced on the sink as he stares out the window, his back muscles tense.
“Oh, Logan,” Jane sings as she bounces up to him.
When he turns around, his sad eyes meet mine briefly, but his expression changes when he looks down at Jane.
“Thanks for coming on the picnic with me,” he says, lifting her in his arms.
“I love the park.”
“I could tell.” He laughs. “How about I walk you out?” He looks at me for approval, and I nod my head.
Leading the way out of the house, I unlock my car doors and open the back for him to put Jane in her car seat. I start the car and turn on Jane’s favorite playlist.
“Sleep good, sweet girl.” He kisses the top of her head after he secures her int
o the seat. “See you soon.”
“Bye, Logan!” she exclaims right before he closes her door and approaches me.
“Are we okay?” he asks.
Pressing my hands against his chest, I lean up on my toes and kiss his full lips. “Yeah, we are,” I say with as much confidence as I can muster, even if it’s not quite the whole truth. I hate the doubt I feel inside, and I don’t know how to eliminate it.
Doubt in him.
Doubt in myself.
Doubt in us.
His hands grip my waist, pulling me tight against his body, and he takes my lips in a heated kiss. The way he expertly works my mouth puts me in such a daze that I momentarily forget about any doubt I had been feeling. Ending the kiss all too soon for my liking, he sucks on my lower lip before pulling away.
“I like that look on you better,” he says, looking proud of himself.
“What look?” I can feel a warmth spread from my chest to my face and begin to feel more at ease. How can I question the feelings and motives of a man who kisses me like that?
Instead of answering, he just winks, and I can’t stop the smile that spreads my swollen lips.
“Thank you for dinner.”
“Anytime, babe. Let me know when you girls make it home.”
“I will.”
“I love you,” he says, bringing his lips back to mine.
“I love you, too.”
He opens my car door and says another goodbye to Jane. She’s too busy singing along to her music to bother responding, but she waves her hand animatedly at him. I laugh at her antics and kiss him one last time before he steps back and closes my door.
Unfortunately as I pull out of his driveway, the feeling of peace and contentment slowly begins to deplete the farther I get away from Logan, allowing the doubt to creep back in.
Chapter 11
By Thursday afternoon, I have decided this has been the week from hell, and I am beyond ready for it to be over. Work has been a chaotic mess the past few days, and Jane has been moody at night. Things are still tense between Logan and me, but I know it’s my fault because of my own insecurities. It’s not that I want to feel this way; I just can’t help it.
Last night, a case manager from Child Services came by to do a home study on my apartment and ask me a slew of questions. Richard is still looking into my situation, but as of now, I have been granted temporary guardianship of Jane. She hasn’t been the same since they asked her questions about her mom, and it makes me wonder if that’s the cause for her recent attitude or if she is merely feeding off my own foul mood.
The bell over the door dings, and I look up, expecting to see my lunch date, but instead, it’s the other Tate brother.
“Well, don’t look so excited to see me.”
“Aww, but I am excited to see you. I feel like we never see each other anymore since I’m not at the bar.”
He stands, leaning against my desk with his arms crossed over his chest and a smirk on his face. “I think that might have a little something to do with the other, not as good-looking Tate. You seem to spend all your time with him these days.” He pouts, bringing out a much-needed laugh from me.
“You’re right. He is quite demanding.”
“Which is why I am here. Let’s go, I am hijacking your lunch.”
“What are you talking about?” I question, checking my phone for a missed call or message from Logan.
“I was just with your lover boy when he got a call that he needs to fly out. He ran home to pack his bag and mentioned a lunch date. So being the stand-up guy I am, I offered my dating services.”
“You did, did you?” I ask. I try to sound upbeat, but I am a little disappointed that I won’t be seeing Logan.
“Of course, I did. Then he threatened me within an inch of my life when I asked if lunch included a quickie.”
My mouth falls open even though I shouldn’t be shocked that Tanner would suggest such a thing.
“I was only kidding,” he says, rolling his eyes dramatically. “Unless you’re into it, and if that’s the case, I’m willing to chance it.” This time, he winks and wags his brows.
“You’re insane.” I transfer the calls to one of the girls in the back and send Richard a quick email letting him know I am heading out for lunch. Grabbing my purse, I meet Tanner on the other side of the desk. “Come on, where are you taking me?”
* * *
My cheeks and ribs are hurting from the smiling and laughing I have done since Tanner arrived. I hadn’t realized how much I missed being around him until now. I feel bad for pushing him to the back burner because I’ve been so wrapped up in Jane and Logan. I plan on rectifying that from here on out.
Since it’s a gorgeous day out, we opted to sit on the patio at the restaurant. With the efficient service, we have already finished our food and have ample time to just sit and catch up.
Tanner’s eyes lift to something over my head. “I guess this is my cue to excuse myself for a moment.”
I look over my shoulder in confusion and smile at the sight of Logan. Tanner pats him on the shoulder as he passes, walking inside.
“I didn’t expect to see you,” I say, standing to meet his waiting lips.
“I couldn’t leave without a proper goodbye. I don’t like getting called out like this, but I’m going to make it as quick a trip as possible. Hopefully, I will be back by tomorrow morning but definitely Saturday. We have Aunt Ruth’s family dinner, and I can’t miss that.”
“Be safe and let me know when you land.” I circle my hands around his waist.
Leaning down, he presses his lips to mine. “Of course. Are we good?” he asks, unsure.
“Yeah. Sorry for getting a little crazy the other night.”
“Nothing wrong with a little crazy,” he teases. “I hate to say it, but I have to run. I will call you tonight. I love you,” he says before delivering a smoldering kiss. “That’s to keep you thinking about me while I’m gone.”
“You never have to worry about that,” I tell him and watch his eyes grow darker. “Stop it. We do not have time for that.” He laughs, and I kiss him one last time. “I love you.”
Finally pulling himself away, Logan leaves for the airport, and Tanner joins me back on the patio.
“That was touching,” he says with his hand over his heart as he wipes a fake tear.
“You’re such an ass,” I joke.
“So is everything better in lover’s paradise now?” he asks, and I shouldn’t be surprised that he and his brother would discuss our relationship.
“Nothing was ever bad. I just had a moment of being a female with insecurities.”
His forehead scrunches in confusion. “You have absolutely no reason to be insecure, Brenna. Ever.”
“This whole relationship thing is so different for me. It’s been many years since I was in one, but even then, it was nothing like this. I’ve never dated anyone like your brother.”
“What do you mean by that? Is he kinky? Into bondage? Does that scare you?”
Now it is my turn to roll my eyes. “Do you even know how to have a serious conversation?”
He nods his head. “Sure can.” Crossing his arms on the table, he leans forward, giving me his undivided attention. “Carry on.”
“Anyway,” I start, shaking my head at him. “Seeing Melody that night reminded me that she is everything I’m not, and their engagement had just barely ended before we got together. There could be unresolved feelings, and it makes me fear the day he realizes what he is missing by being with me.” The thoughts sound stupid when I voice them, and when met with silence, I glance up at Tanner, who is looking at me like I am, in fact, an idiot.
“First off,” he begins. “You are absolutely right. Melody is everything you are not.” Thinking it is one thing, but to hear it from someone else is painful. “No, no. Quit with the irrational thoughts. She is vile and deceitful. Only cares about herself and while some may find her attractive on the outside, she is black and rotten in
side. Second, there are absolutely no unresolved feelings where Logan is concerned. Has he told you why their engagement ended?”
I shake my head because we’ve never really discussed it.
“In truth, it was a long time coming. I was surprised he stayed as long as he did, but ultimately, it ended because he realized he didn’t love her. When he tried to talk to her about it, she flipped, left their apartment, and screwed her boss. She tells the story differently, of course, but that’s just who she is. I can promise you, he has no interest in ever getting back with Melody.”
I take a deep breath and let everything he said settle in. I hate that I ever allowed myself to doubt Logan and his feelings. The past few days have been wasted with me too far in my head to enjoy the time we spent together, so I plan to make up for the lost time when he returns from his trip.
My head falls into my hands. “I’m not normally this crazy. There has just been so much going on lately, and apparently, I forgot how to handle my emotions.”
“Well, now that we have that settled, let’s not let it happen again.”
I pull my head out of its hiding spot, and Tanner winks at me, provoking me to display my middle finger. Taking a glance at my watch, I groan when I see it’s time to head back to work. Tanner and I argue over who is going to pay the bill, which turns out to be a waste of time when we are informed Logan already took care of it before leaving.
Luckily, when I return to work, the remainder of the day flies by at a quicker pace. I am ready to go home and kick up my feet for the rest of the night. One more day until the weekend, and hopefully, Logan will be back.
I am in the process of shutting everything down before heading out when my phone begins to vibrate on the desk. The sight of Ian’s name surprises me, and I swipe the screen to answer.
“Hey, stranger.”
“Brenna, thank God you answered,” he says in desperation. “Is there any possibility you can work tonight? I know it’s last minute, but half my staff is out with the flu, and we both know I can’t work the bar as good as you.”
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