Now You See Me

by S. Y. Thompson

  Erin stood and looked into her eyes and Carson lowered her head briefly for a gentle kiss.

  “Goodnight, Erin. Sleep well.”

  THAT NIGHT THE use of hot water in Carson’s house was minimal as both women opted for cold showers, and even though the bed in Carson’s guestroom was comfortable, Erin tossed and turned most of the night.

  The softness of Carson’s skin and the feel of her full breasts as they pressed against Erin’s own smaller offerings played again and again in her mind.

  Why the hell had she insisted that they slow down anyway, Erin wondered? Clearly, Carson was more than ready for a more intimate relationship, and Erin was only using Carson’s innocence as an excuse. What was worse, Carson had figured it out. Erin was the one afraid. She was frightened that Carson would hurt her just as Rose had years ago. But Erin wasn’t being fair. Carson wasn’t Rose, and Erin knew very well that there were no guarantees in love.

  And that’s what this is, isn’t it? I’m already so in love with her, and one thing is for sure; if I don’t take a chance I’ll never know if things could work out between us.

  There and then Erin almost got out of bed to see if Carson was still interested in consummating their relationship. Instantly she changed her mind and rolled over to thump her pillow. It was late and Carson was probably already asleep.

  Eventually Erin did fall into a fitful sleep, but it was to dream of soft pink nipples and heated embraces. In her dream, there were no doubts or fears. The fantasies of her waking thoughts intruded into her subconscious.

  Erin could feel Carson’s full lips as they surrounded her nipples, and the sharp bite of teeth that tugged at the hardened nubs. Carson’s hands were sure and knowing as they slid down her body and opened the soft folds gently. Her passion was soft, but insistent as it translated itself through sweet caresses that ignited fire wherever Carson touched. Erin arched and groaned as Carson entered her expertly. Erin moved against her, arching then thrusting while Carson countered the movement, sliding deeply into her before withdrawing, and quickly pushing back again.

  Gentle hands held Erin down with loving strength while the storm gathered in her loins. The impending storm broke and Erin cried out, her voice low and thick with hunger. She cried out again as she came awake literally and abruptly.

  “Carson,” she said again hoarsely, reluctant to leave the erotic dreamscape of passionate kisses and flesh wet with desire. It was the soft whoosh of the central heat as it swished on that brought her fully awake.

  Erin’s throat was dry and she had the distinct impression that she had been panting in her sleep. She pushed back the covers and walked out into the hallway on bare feet. A glass of water would help her calm down, and maybe she could get back to sleep. Erin raised a trembling hand to her mouth and was surprised to find sweat beaded on her upper lip. The wetness between her legs cooled, and made her shiver.

  In the hallway, she saw Carson’s partially closed bedroom door, and stopped as she contemplated her actions. She was so tempted to walk in there, to eliminate the distance between them and fulfill the desires they both longed for. The urge was so strong that Erin walked to the doorway and raised a hand to push the door open just a little more.

  She could hardly see anything in great detail. Light from the window cast shadows across the bed, and Erin could only make out the lump of Carson’s body. Carson didn’t move, and Erin could hear soft, even breathing. Just watching Carson sleep brought back the feelings from her dream, and Erin swallowed thickly against raging desire. She knew she should walk away, but all Erin wanted was be near the younger woman.

  No, that’s not true. I want her, and damn the consequences. It was a feeling she had denied herself after Rose, and thought she would never feel again. The desire somehow made her feel more human than she had in years.

  Erin’s fingernails dug into the soft wood of the doorframe as she struggled to control her passion. She had to walk away now, while she still could.

  “Erin?”

  Carson’s sleep husky voice brought Erin’s full attention to where Carson lay. Carson propped up on one elbow to observe her more easily. For a second Erin could believe that their eyes met and held in the darkness before Carson finally moved. She raised the covers to invite Erin into the bed with her, and that was all it took.

  Erin heard the groan come from her own lips, but she had already crossed the room and slid into the bed.

  “Carson.”

  “Shh,” Carson whispered. “Just sleep here with me.”

  Erin snuggled into Carson’s strong body and settled her face comfortably just above her breasts. She wanted to make love to Carson, but just couldn’t get past the horrifying idea that what Carson felt was only infatuation. If something happened between them, and then Carson changed her mind, Erin knew it would break her heart. She was just grateful that Carson was willing to wait, even if she didn’t necessarily agree with it.

  Warm and safe in Carson’s arms Erin fell into the best sleep she had enjoyed in a very long time.

  Chapter Fourteen

  CARSON HEARD THE murmured delight in Erin’s voice from where she stood in the kitchen, and smiled indulgently. Erin had still been asleep when Carson left her side to plug in the lights on the tree and start a pot of coffee.

  She had learned many of the sounds Erin made in pleasure during the night, and shuddered delicately at the memories. Erin was not a quiet sleeper and tended to giggle and converse with herself while she dreamt. Carson had lain awake most of the night simply holding her, and laughing softly at the sounds she made.

  At the moment however, she thought Erin’s delight had more to do with the huge fire in the fireplace and the lights on the tree. Carson poured two cups of coffee, and walked into the living room, eager to see the expression on Erin’s face.

  Erin sat cross-legged on the floor in front of the coffee table. Her feet were bare and she wore flannel pajamas and a robe. Carson was suddenly aware of her own meager clothing and experienced a soft flush of arousal. She was also dressed in sleepwear, but as tempting as Erin was, Carson had made a silent promise to go at her pace. Eventually Erin would realize that what Carson felt wasn’t fleeting. Just sleeping in her arms was enough for the moment.

  Erin heard Carson come in and glanced over her shoulder with a warm smile. “Good morning,” she said softly, almost shyly.

  Carson sat the coffee cups on the table before she knelt down next to Erin and slipped her arms around her. She placed a kiss on the soft cheek and fought the urge to giggle while she murmured her own greeting.

  “What’s so funny?”

  Amusement threaded Erin’s voice as she asked the question, and Carson pulled away to look at her semi-seriously.

  “Erin, I have seen you first thing in the morning on three separate occasions, and you always look as though you have been pushed out of bed.”

  “So I’m not a morning person,” Erin groused good-naturedly. “So shoot me.”

  “I would rather kiss you.”

  Erin gulped loudly and looked intently into Carson’s eyes before she whispered, “Sounds good to me.”

  Carson slowly lowered her head, maintaining eye contact with Erin for as long as possible until she gently took possession of Erin’s lips. After all the practice from last night on the sofa, Carson knew exactly how Erin liked to be kissed, and took advantage of that knowledge to kiss Erin until she trembled.

  Finally, Carson pulled away and waited for Erin’s eyes to flutter open before she said softly, “Merry Christmas, Erin.”

  “Oh, yes. It’s definitely that.”

  Carson grinned at the heartfelt response and released Erin to hand her a coffee.

  “You’re too good to me.”

  “I know,” Carson teased back. Then unable to stop herself, Carson teased further. “Of course, if I enjoyed sleeping as much as you do I would hate to wake up, too.”

  Erin froze with the cup halfway to her mouth. “What do you mean?”

&
nbsp; “Oh nothing, but if you’re going to talk in your sleep the least you could do is speak up so that I can understand what you’re saying.”

  “Huh? I don’t talk in my sleep.”

  Carson laughed at the indignant tone. “Actually, you do. And you giggle, and grin. It’s very cute.”

  “I most certainly do not giggle!”

  “Of course you don’t.”

  Erin eyed the grin on Carson’s face, and tried to scowl at her but it didn’t work. Eventually she settled on looking bemused. “Well, I’m glad you were at least entertained.”

  Carson rested a hand on Erin’s thigh. “It was the best night of my life.”

  They sipped their coffee quietly for a moment, and Carson wondered how much longer Erin could stand it. Erin couldn’t seem to tear her eyes away from the tree, and Carson remembered how she had decorated the tree with almost childlike enthusiasm. Even now, Erin’s eyes were wide with curiosity and Carson was forced to smother another chuckle.

  After a few more minutes, she decided to take pity on her and sat the cup on the table. Carson grinned.“Would you like to open your gifts now?”

  Erin fairly thrust her cup into Carson’s hands, and coffee sloshed dangerously close to the rim before Carson managed to sit it down.

  “Well, I didn’t want to rush things,” Erin said already across the room on her knees, “but since you asked, sure. Why not?”

  Carson did laugh then, and scooted next to Erin on the carpet. Erin was so eager Carson was surprised she wasn’t rubbing her hands together in glee.

  “And since it is my idea, I shall pick the one you may open first.”

  “Okay,” Erin nodded in acceptance. “Then I get to pick yours.”

  Erin leaned over on her hands and knees and plucked the smaller package she had brought for Carson. It was the one Carson had indicated might contain cigars, and Erin couldn’t resist the mischievous smirk that settled on her lips.

  “You can open this one.”

  Carson accepted the small package, and considered that turnabout was fair play. Just for that Erin could wait for her bigger gift too. She picked up the small package and handed it to Erin just as she was assailed by doubts. Was her gift too childish?

  Last night Carson had considered the gift to be a small gesture of her affection for the fiery redhead. Now she wondered if it wasn’t just a touch juvenile. Perhaps she should have let Erin open the larger package, after all. Unfortunately, it was too late. Erin had already snagged the small package from her and had eagerly started to rip into the decorative paper.

  Carson bit her lower lip in worry, and hoped that if Erin didn’t like it she would at least refrain from laughing.

  Holiday paper was discarded messily and Erin struggled with the tape that held the box closed before she finally got it loose. She looked into the box, and her smile faded. If possible, Carson felt even worse. Obviously the gift was so childish that Erin didn’t know what to say, and was undoubtedly trying to come up with something gracious.

  Carson held her breath while Erin reached into the box and pulled out a fluffy white teddy bear. The teddy bear was scented with Carson’s own perfume, and around its neck was a silver bracelet from the same jewelry store where she had purchased Joyce’s watch.

  A single charm hung from the bracelet, and was the kanji symbol for longevity.

  Erin met her eyes softly. “Carson?”

  Carson cleared her throat. It was done. All she could do now was go along with it, and act as though nothing was wrong. Her stomach fluttered, and she tried to hide her disappointment that Erin didn’t like the gift.

  “The symbol is for long life. If you don’t like silver, I can always exchange it for a gold one.”

  “What? Are you crazy? I love it!”

  Erin flung her arms around Carson’s neck and flattened her against the carpet before she kissed her breathless. She released Carson’s lips and planted several small kisses on her face saying, “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

  Carson held on to Erin and laughed at her reaction. “You’re welcome, I assure you.”

  Eventually Erin climbed off Carson and removed the bracelet from the bear, before she offered it to Carson to help her put it on. Erin sat for a moment simply enjoying the shine of the bracelet from the firelight. Then she looked up at Carson. “Your turn.”

  Carson picked up the gift and shook it slightly while she affected a curious look. “You’re sure it’s not cigars?”

  “Brat,” Erin pushed her leg with her toes. “Just open it.”

  Carson removed the paper in a much more refined way, but when the paper was off, she tore into the box with just as much enthusiasm as Erin had shown. She was greeted by a small leather case, and she opened it carefully.

  “They are beautiful, Erin. Thank you.”

  Carson was almost speechless from the simple elegance of the pen and pencil set. She picked up the pen and noticed that her initials had been engraved into the side. No one had ever given her anything like it and she looked at Erin with shining eyes.

  “Hey,” Erin said. “It’s just a writing set.”

  “No, it isn’t.” Carson shook her head. “It is wonderful.”

  How could Erin ever understand the poverty Carson had grown up with, and the lack of generosity her father had shown his only child?

  There had never been Christmas dinner, or a tree, or the magnitude of gifts most children enjoyed. Usually Carson had spent Christmas alone with a meal of macaroni and cheese, and barely an acknowledgment of the day from her father before he headed out to the bar. He preferred drinking beer with his buddies and watching football to spending the holiday with the only family he had left.

  “I didn’t mean to make you cry,” Erin said worriedly.

  Carson realized tears were running down her face and she sat the writing set aside before she gathered Erin into her arms.

  “They’re tears of joy, Erin.”

  Erin’s arms tightened around her neck. “I’m glad. I never want to cause you pain.”

  “Then you should release me,” Carson squawked. “You’re choking me.”

  Erin laughed and pulled away. She hadn’t meant to squeeze so hard. “Sorry about that. Now, we still have gifts to open.”

  “Right!”

  Carson and Erin reached for their gifts for one another at the same time and butted heads. Carson saw stars and sat back to rub the sore spot on the top of her head. After her vision returned properly, Carson shook her head. “Perhaps you should go first.”

  Erin was lying flat on the floor, laughing uproariously, and Carson smiled indulgently. Then Erin sat up and handed Carson her final gift. Carson handed Erin a large package and they agreed to open them at the same time.

  From the shape and texture beneath the paper, Carson guessed hers was some type of framed picture. She opened the gift slowly, more interested in seeing Erin’s reaction to her present. The gasp that greeted her didn’t disappointment.

  “Oh my! Carson, I don’t know what to say. This is amazing!”

  Erin pulled the fountain pen desk set out of the box and stared at it intently. The desk set was mounted on polished cherry wood. It boasted a clock, and calendar as well as the traditional fountain pen and ink well.

  “You truly like it,” Carson asked softly. She hadn’t been sure that replacing Erin’s old set was the right thing to do. What if it had been a gift from her father? Erin had mentioned him when Carson asked about the old-fashioned writing instrument.

  “Oh yes. The other one’s almost worn out, and I wasn’t sure where I was going to find another one. Where did you get it?”

  Erin looked at her wondrously, and Carson smiled. “No way. I can’t give away all my secrets.”

  “Fine, I guess I’ll just have to keep you around in case I need another one of these beauties. Now, don’t keep me waiting.”

  Erin indicated Carson’s present with her chin and Carson finished ripping the paper away. When she saw what it wa
s, she couldn’t believe it. Erin had given her a print from one of the major works they had seen during the Japanese Exhibit at the Metropolitan Museum of Art.

  A stream wound through the background surrounded by trees and men fishing. Fish jumped in the stream, and the colors were so vibrant that Carson felt the scene had come to life.

  Carson swallowed the lump in her throat and looked at Erin. A tender expression rested in the soft brown eyes and Carson basked in their connection through that gaze.

  “Thank you. I shall cherish it always.”

  Erin reached and cupped Carson’s cheek. Then she pushed a strand of blond hair behind an ear and reached behind Carson’s head to pull her closer. The kiss was soft, tender, and completely without passion. It was an expression of gratitude and genuine caring.

  “You’re welcome. Are you going to tell me where you’ll hang it?”

  “Hmm. If I put it here no one else will be able to enjoy it, so I think I’ll hang it in my office.”

  “Sounds fair,” Erin said. “After all, my gift will be on my desk, too.”

  With everything settled, they cleaned up the wrapping paper and settled back to sip coffee. An hour later, Carson announced that she had to get things going or Christmas dinner would be late.

  “Oh no,” Erin exclaimed. “Isn’t it too late for the turkey to go in?”

  Carson looked at her strangely for a moment. “Erin, I got up at five o’clock this morning and put the turkey in. Didn’t you feel me get out of bed?”

  Erin flushed slightly and waved a hand dismissively. “I guess I must have been out of it.”

  “You must have needed it. Now, why don’t you go take a shower and I’ll start cooking.”

  Erin left for her shower and Carson began to peel yams and prepare them for baking. Besides turkey and sweet potatoes, Carson had dressing, green bean casserole, dinner rolls, and fruit salad planned. She had already begun seasoning the dressing when Erin returned.