Today, Tomorrow, Always

by Peggy Jaeger

  “Well, me life is a much more entertainin’ and fascinatin’ story than that old crackpot’s, to be sure,” Nanny said.

  “No one can argue with that,” Lucas mumbled.

  “Why’s it not soundin’ like that’s a compliment, young man?”

  “Oh, it is, trust me. Your life is nothing if not…entertaining.”

  Nanny harrumphed.

  “The reverend’s real story may turn out to be a surprise,” Frayne told Nanny.

  “What do you mean his real story?” Colleen asked. “We all grew up with the nauseatingly boring tale of his life drilled into us at school. I can’t tell you how many papers we were all tortured to write about him. What do you know we don’t?”

  Frayne looked my way, his eyebrows lifting in a question.

  “Go ahead and tell them.”

  He did, detailing what we’d discovered amongst Robert’s stored possessions.

  “Cathy is going to call the museum curator today so we can move the journals there and use their technology to read through Josiah’s first-hand accounts.”

  “About that,” I interrupted. “Leigh had her baby last night, and she’s gonna be in the hospital for a few days. Father Duncan sent up a prayer of intention for her this morning at mass. It’s probably better we leave things as they are until I can find out when she’s coming back to work.”

  “So that means I can continue my research at your house?”

  “Yes. With Leigh out of commission for a bit longer, I think it’s appropriate.”

  “Well, now, isn’t this an interestin’ bit o’ news on this morning made for announcements.” Nanny’s penetrating gaze shot from me, to Frayne, then settled back on me. I knew that look and the inquisitive tone partnered with it well, since I’d heard it enough times growing up. It usually preceded a thorough, intense interrogation C.I.A. officials could learn a thing or two from. “You’ve been conductin’ your research at me granddaughter’s home, have ya?”

  Frayne nodded.

  “Just the two o’ ya, ay?”

  This time his nod took a little longer coming. “Cathy has been a big help with…everything.”

  “Interestin’. I didn’t know you were keeping all Roger’s t’ings at your house, Number One.”

  “Oh? I didn’t mention it?” I tossed her a careless shrug and sipped my tea.

  “No. You didn’t. Me body may be agin’, darlin’ girl, but me memory’s as sharp as a knife.”

  “Goes along with her tongue,” Lucas murmured into his cup.

  Nanny snuck him a heavy-lidded side eye, to which he smiled cheekily, before she turned her attention back to me.

  “It made sense,” I said before she could continue with her cross-examination, “since we didn’t know what we were dealing with in all those boxes and containers. And there were a lot of them. A whole lot.”

  “I told ya from the get-go Robert was packrat, darlin’.”

  “Apples and trees, Nanny, because there’s five lifetimes worth of stuff still crammed in your storage lockers, and it doesn’t all belong to Robert. I don’t think you’ve ever thrown anything away in your entire life. Clothes, furniture, pictures. How many holiday ornaments and decorations does one person need?”

  As a diversion tactic, it proved a good one. Nanny’s attention shunted away from grilling me about Frayne to plead her case and need for every item in those lockers.

  My sisters tossed each other a knowing look while Nanny rambled on about how many times she’d moved and married during her lifetime, accumulating more possessions with each. They realized exactly what I was doing since they’d apprenticed in the art of Nanny-distraction at my knee.

  I let her rant, mentally high-fiving myself, as I nodded in agreement with everything she said. When she stopped to take a well-deserved breath, I rose from the table.

  “I need to get you back to the Arms and go pick up Seldrine,” I told her.

  “We can take her back,” Slade offered, after getting the okay from Colleen.

  “lt’ll give us a few more minutes to chat.”

  “Ah, now, that’s the reason you’re in the runnin’ to be me favorite grandson-in-law, right there, darlin’ boy.”

  “He’s going to be your only grandson-in-law,” Maureen quipped as she placed a bakery box on the table in front of her, filled with what I guessed were scones for the week.

  “Well, it’s not for me lack of tryin’ to get you all hitched now, is it? Colleen’s th’ only one of ya who’s managed to snag a man. And thank the good Lord above she did. After that ugly business with her previous fiancé, the scion of darkness, I was worried sick she’d never walk down a church aisle.”

  The reactions around the table to this comment were comical in their diversity. Colleen went beet red, Lucas laughed till he gagged on his coffee, Slade’s eyes narrowed at the mention of Colleen’s former fiancé (whose name was Harry, not the scion of darkness. Maureen and I called him Vlad because he was a soul-sucker, but Nanny got it confused with a character in a popular book she’d been reading at the time.) Frayne’s face was sixteen shades of bewildered as he stared across the table at me.

  I mouthed, I’ll explain later. With that, I thanked Slade, then kissed Nanny’s and Lucas’s cheeks.

  “I’ll walk you out,” Maureen said, taking my arm and pushing me into the hallway.

  When we were out of earshot, she tossed a quick look over her shoulder and whispered, “What’s going on?”

  I knew what she was asking, but once a lawyer…

  “Duh. I’m getting my coat.”

  “Diversion works with Nanny, sis. Not me. You know perfectly well what I mean.”

  Yeah, I did. Still, old habits were hard to let go of.

  I shrugged into my coat and faced her, hoping the expression on my face was blank.

  Hands on her hips, Maureen ran her gaze across my features. “You slept with Mac.”

  Okay, this perceptive talent my little sister possessed was getting annoying.

  “Don’t deny it.” Before I could, she pointed a finger at me. “I knew it the minute he spoke to you. Plus, I saw him when he rolled into the inn this morning and tried to sneak up the stairs. Yesterday’s clothes and bed head scream walk of shame.”

  I closed my eyes and dug deep for calm.

  “Cathy?”

  “Okay. Yes. Yes, I did. We did. Satisfied?”

  “Are you?”

  What would it have cost me to admit I was more satisfied than I’d been in a decade? Maybe even my lifetime?

  Better to keep it to myself.

  “Look, sis.” Maureen took my free hand and covered it with both of hers. “You’ve forced yourself into emotional exile since Danny died. You work, take care of all of us, and do nothing for yourself.”

  “That’s not true. I—”

  “It is and you know it.”

  Because I did, I shrugged.

  “I want you to be happy and enjoy your life again. To find a man who loves and deserves you. Who’ll cherish you.”

  “It’s not like that between us, Mo. This is just…well, I don’t know what it is, really. Forced togetherness? Hormones?” I lowered my voice. “Horniness? I don’t know.”

  Her smile was quick and filled with laughter. “There’s nothing wrong with giving into a little lust, you know.”

  “Truth.” I nodded. “I wasn’t planning on sleeping with him, though. I didn’t even think he liked me.”

  “The man feels way more than like for you, Cath. You didn’t see him come into the kitchen before. When he saw us all sitting there, he tracked the table, searching for you. He looked like a lost little boy when he didn’t find you sitting with us. When I told him you were talking to Lucas, his entire body relaxed and he smiled for the first time.”

  My heart about swelled to breaking.

  “Like I said, the man feels something for you.”

  This time I shook my head while I buttoned my coat. “Maybe.”

  “No maybe a
bout it. How do you feel about him is the question?”

  “Conflicted.” The word spilled out before I could prevent it.

  Maureen nodded. “I get that. Can I offer a little advice?”

  “Since when do you give advice? You hate getting it and never take it when it’s tendered.”

  “True. In this instance, though, I think I can bend my rule.”

  I heaved a theatrical, Nanny-worthy sigh. “Go ahead, then.”

  “Don’t overthink what you’re feeling, like you do everything else. Just…accept what is. Sleep with the man. Enjoy him, his company. Have a little grown-up fun for once. God knows, you deserve it.”

  Back in my car, her words echoed in my head. There was no mistaking the longing I’d seen flit by in Frayne’s gaze when he saw me. And last night had proved he desired me.

  Man, oh, man, had it.

  But was it enough?

  I wanted children and a life partner. For almost twenty years, I’d been married to a man who’d told me he wanted all those things as well, until an argument forced the truth out of him.

  I could admit Mac Frayne touched a space in my heart, even before we’d slept together. I wasn’t naïve enough to equate sex with love, though. What we’d shared had been wonderful and freeing, but I wanted to be loved, too. To be in love, and have my love returned.

  As I pulled up to Seldrine’s house, my head started to pound, and I gave myself a mental shake. Maureen was right. I needed to stop overthinking everything and live in the here and now. Enjoy the moment and the man in it.

  Why that was so difficult for me was the question.

  Chapter 15

  After a more thorough shower than the one I’d raced through earlier, I donned warm, comfy clothes, lit the fire in the living room, and then spent an hour in my home office preparing for the week ahead. Snow started falling lightly around one, right as Frayne’s car pulled up my driveway and into my garage.

  Nervous anticipation bounded within me as I quick-stepped to the kitchen. Like a high school drum line practicing before a big competition, my heart was thrumming against my ribs. My fingers tingled across the doorknob as I opened the connecting kitchen door to let him in.

  “Hey.”

  His smile stopped my heart. Open and bright, with those cheek crevices pushing in deep at the corners of his mouth, when he lit on my face he looked happy and lighthearted.

  Maureen’s words flew back to me.

  The man has feelings for you.

  Oh, how I wanted to believe it.

  “Maureen sent this.” He handed me a shopping bag. “She thought you might be running low on—her word—provisions.”

  “I love my baby sister.” I sighed when I took the bag, peeked in, and saw multiple glass containers loaded with food.

  Frayne laughed as he placed his briefcase down on the counter, then shrugged out of his coat. “She said to tell you the same thing.”

  “Give me your coat. I’ll hang it up.”

  “I can do it.” The fact he was comfortable in my home sent a warm feeling through me. “You started a fire?” he called from the hallway.

  “It’s cold outside, and I haven’t had one in a while. I figured it was a good idea,” I answered as I stacked the food containers in the refrigerator. “I love a fire in the winter, especially when it’s snowing outside.” This time when I found Frayne leaning against the counter, his hands crossed at his chest, I didn’t jump.

  “Want to get started working?” I asked. “I’ve got some stuff to finish up in my office for the week ahead of me, so the dining room is all yours.”

  “In a minute.” He pushed off the counter and stepped toward me, a determined, focused glint in his eyes. “First, I need to do this.”

  I had a pretty good idea what the “this” was, especially when he cupped my chin in one hand and wound the other around my waist, hauling me flat up against him.

  Kissing him the first time had been a mystery. Then, a revelation. Since I now knew his taste, the intoxicating feel of his lips, the way his tongue slowly and thoughtfully consumed mine, I let myself enjoy the sensations drifting through me, and freely gave up any and all control I had to him. I twined my hands around his neck, threaded my fingers through the thick, silky pelt of his hair and held on as if my life depended on it.

  The hand at my chin drifted down and joined its twin around my back. Palms opened across my butt, and he lifted me even closer. So close there was no mistaking how the kiss was affecting him below his waist.

  Time stopped. As did sentient thought. I stood there, encircled within the arms of a man I was rapidly losing my heart to—if I hadn’t already—and simply gave myself up to his care and keeping.

  After a time, Frayne broke the kiss and leaned his forehead against mine. A sigh coursed over his entire body. Eyes half closed, he kissed the tip of my nose.

  “I wanted to do that the moment you walked into your sister’s kitchen,” he confessed. “It took every ounce of willpower in me not to jump up from my chair and pull you into my arms.”

  “I can only imagine the reaction it would have caused.” I grinned up at him, but I wasn’t kidding. Not even a smidge.

  He took my face in his hands again and placed a sweet kiss across my lips.

  “Cathy, last night with you was…” He shook his head, as if he couldn’t find the words he wanted.

  I caressed his cheek. “It was for me, too.”

  “You can’t know how happy I am to hear that.”

  Oh, I had a pretty good idea. Frayne’s face broke out into his charming, boyish grin, verifying I’d said the words aloud. Colleen’s habit of always saying exactly what drifted into her mind had started to influence me, and I wasn’t sure it was a good thing.

  “Good to know.” His grin was playful. Then, he turned serious. “After I left this morning, I was afraid you might have regrets about what we’d done,” he said, with another kiss.

  “I didn’t.” I shook my head and laid my hands across his chest. “And I don’t. Not one regret, Mac.” A thought bloomed at my brain and took root. I bit down on my bottom lip and asked, “What about you? Doubts? Second thoughts?”

  “None,” he said without a beat. “And the only thought I had all morning was how long would I have to wait until I could see you again. Hold you again.” He rubbed his hands up and down my back to my waist, his fingers pressing along my spine, sending tiny frissons of heat straight down to my toes. “Make love to you again.”

  A lump formed in the back of my throat, and when I swallowed, the action was loud in the air between us.

  His mouth turned lopsided and his brows drew together when he added, “I wanted to follow you back here the minute you left the inn and continue where we left off this morning, but I figured it would make you nervous or even scare you if I did. Too intense, you know? Maybe too much too soon?”

  “Why did you think I’d be scared?”

  “Maybe scared is the wrong word. I don’t know.” He shrugged.

  I wondered what he would say—or do—if he knew the utter intensity of my own feelings and thoughts about him?

  Truth, I’ve been reared to believe, is always the best course.

  Gently, I pressed my lips against his, kept my gaze attached to his own.

  “If you’ll remember, I was the one who kissed you first, the one who showed you what I wanted. My hope then was that you wanted the same thing.”

  “I did. I do.”

  “Good to know,” I said, giving him back his words.

  He smiled at me, then cuddled my head against his chest and wound his hands back down around my waist. Under his shirt, his heart thrummed with a steady, calming rhythm that soothed and stoked me at the same time. I could have stood here, held in his arms, for a lifetime. Unfortunately, life has a way of intruding on the things you want.

  My cell phone blared, and with a breath crammed with regret, I pulled out of his embrace and reached for it. While I spoke with a nervous client about an u
pcoming legal matter, I walked back to my office and shut the door for privacy. Forty-five minutes later, I finally ended the call and found Frayne in the dining room, one of Josiah’s journals in his hand, an opened laptop on the table. He’d brought his own pair of latex gloves this time and a magnifying glass with a light attached to it. Those adorable glasses were perched on the bridge of his nose, one eye shaded with his falling thatch of hair.

  “Find anything interesting?” I asked.

  “A few things.” He laid the book and magnifier on the table and tugged off the gloves and glasses. “Remember one of the questions I posed at the luncheon was where Josiah originally hailed from?”

  I settled into the chair opposite him and nodded.

  “There’s a brief mention, almost a throwaway line, about a trek from Richmond in the winter of 1787.”

  “Virginia?”

  “Maybe. I did a quick search online, and there are a few cities established and named Richmond at the time. I need to read more and see if he mentions which state.”

  “Virginia, though, isn’t far from here.”

  “Now, it isn’t. In 1787, it was probably a week or two on horseback.”

  His eyes were bright and sparkling with intensity, exactly as they’d been the day we discovered the journals.

  “If you keep searching, I’m sure you’ll find the answer. I’m making a cup of tea,” I told him, rising. “Do you want anything?”

  His hand snaked out to grab my arm as I passed him. With a flick of his wrist and an easy yank, I was sitting in his lap.

  The man had some serious hidden moves.

  “Just this,” he said.

  Then he kissed me.

  “Just you,” he added, between nibbling the corners of my lips.

  How was it possible to crave something as if your life depended on getting it when you hadn’t even known it existed until hours beforehand?

  In no time at all, the passion radiating between us had us both devouring one another. My desire to have a cup of tea was obliterated by my desire to have this man—this humble, gorgeous, and fascinating man.

  Every tug and swipe of his tongue made me writhe for release. In another smooth move that took my breath away, Frayne rose from the chair in one fluid stretch, me cradled in his arms, and without ever breaking our lips apart, walked us into the living room.