All About Him

by Pat Tucker

  “You are hereby sentenced to thirty days in jail,” the judge said.

  The bang of his gavel brought it all home for me. Was I really about to be in jail for an entire month? What would happen to my jobs, and what about my apartment?

  Thinking about my situation disgusted me, because I had come to the realization that I didn’t need to go over there. There was no reason I should’ve showed up at their house, but a part of me just wanted to do it out of spite.

  My sister, Evelyn, hated when I came around. I think deep down, she was afraid I might try and steal Cooper back. If only she knew. There was no way in hell I wanted him back.

  I didn’t get to speak to Yesterday or my mom, but I did glance their direction as I was led back out the door I had entered.

  “With your time already served, we can get that down to two weeks,” the public defender whispered. I didn’t acknowledge the comment, so I just kept walking.

  One thing I decided, there was no way in hell I was about to keep doing what I’d been doing. Oh, I’d start telling some stories for sure. Why would I continue to protect Cooper and Evelyn when it was real clear neither of them cared anything about me?; And it wasn’t that I wanted to protest them; I really didn’t want to put my own business out there.

  By the time we made it back to the jail, I was exhausted. I didn’t want to be bothered and I was still pissed about having to do time. Granted, I didn’t think I’d be there for an entire thirty days, but the fact that I had to be there for something so stupid made me feel, stupid.

  Two days after court, Yesterday and I sat in the visiting area.

  “So, let me give you an idea of what I’m talking about.”

  Up to that moment, her words were just that, words. But in a recent phone call, I had asked her to look into some possible interviewing and how much money I could get.

  “Inside Edition pays on average fifteen to twenty thousand. They’d pay more if he was like a movie star, but trust me when I tell you, there’s definitely interest there. And that’s not even counting TMZ and the other places.”

  “Are you saying like fifteen thousand dollars?” I was dumbfounded. Now I understood why people sold stories about celebs.

  Yesterday nodded.

  “You wouldn’t listen. I told you, they’ll pay for dirt on him. But there is a little bit of a downside.”

  “What? Having everybody all up in my business?” Sarcasm dripped from each word.

  “No, not that, but there is a chance the publicity could make him even more popular.”

  I smirked. “All the dirt I’ve got on that heartless dog? I doubt it.”

  Yesterday shook her head as if she were dealing with naivete.

  “Girl, why do you think some of those celebs plant stories about themselves? If nobody is talking about them, they start to feel like they’re losing it or something.”

  Yesterday’s expression changed fast. I braced myself.

  “Then there’s something else too,” she said. Suddenly, her focus left me and traveled around the room.

  I kept my eyes trained on her. If I was going to do what she’d suggested, I needed to know about all of the possibilities.

  “Just listen before you decide not to do it, okay,” she started.

  I pulled in a deep breath, and gnawed on my bottom lip. I wanted her to just spill it. That fifteen thousand dollars had already started dancing around in my head.

  “What is it?”

  “Dang, calm down,” Yesterday said. “I’m getting to it. I don’t want you to overreact.”

  I huffed.

  “It would be best if you did the interview before you get out.”

  The way she said it told me she knew that would be the deal breaker.

  At first, I didn’t respond. I stared at her and thought about how I should’ve known it wouldn’t be easy for me to get no damn fifteen-thousand dollars.

  “Not only is it easy money, but it’s money that you could really use.” She was right, I needed that money, and under other circumstances, I’d do whatever to get it, but a jailhouse interview was asking too much.

  “Why in here?” My face twisted up as I looked around. “Can they even do interviews in here?”

  “Felicia, these companies got money; they can do damn near anything they want.”

  “But look at me.” I threw up my arms. My hair was a mess, and orange was not my color.

  “That’s what would make it even better. Here you are sitting up in jail because you was trying to see your kid while your ex and your sister living large.”

  “Sounds scandalous.” I eased back on the hard plastic chair.

  “That’s what I’m trying to tell you! Nobody knows how he got to where he is. They all think it was a regular case of client falls for manager, but we know that’s the bullshit Evelyn has been peddling for years. You can blow them both up, and make a few dollars, but the revenge you get will be priceless.”

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  You probably wouldn’t be able to tell by watching TV, but sitting under the tall lights was so hot, it felt like buckets of sweat was pouring down the sides of my face.

  My desperate need for money was the only reason I had agreed to do the interview in jail. As I sat underneath the lights that felt more like heat lamps, I instantly regretted my decision.

  The agreement was that I would be paid $15,000. It could have been more like $1 million; that’s how badly I needed the money.

  As people buzzed around the interviewer and me, I had to remind myself that I really needed the money. But the entire thing was way more of a production than I expected.

  My nerves started to go bad in the pre-interview. But they were shot to shit by the time the first heating lamp was flicked on.

  I didn’t know what questions she was going to ask, didn’t know what I would say, but Yesterday’s words kept ringing out in my head.

  Tell them about some of the lowdown shit he’s done.

  Remember how many times you walked in on him with some THOT.

  This is not the time to worry about putting your business out there; let it all hang out.

  How do you trash somebody you did dirt with, without trashing yourself? That was back-to-back trash, and I was bound to come out looking dirty too.

  My focus returned to the lady who sat across from me when she finally looked at me and asked, “You okay?”

  Her trendy blond locks seemed to glisten beneath the light lamps. The vibrant red top seemed to pop against her golden-tanned skin, and her makeup was flawless. She looked so polished, I felt awkward.

  I shifted in my chair and tried to look as presentable as possible. The truth was, everyone would know I was in jail, I had no makeup on, my hair looked bad, and I felt worse. But Yesterday insisted that this would get me the most sympathy. It wasn’t that I needed sympathy, but I needed to get people’s attention.

  Nothing I had tried had worked, so maybe I needed to talk more about my life with Coop. Every time I looked up, he and my damn sister were on TV looking like the chocolate version of a perfect couple.

  All of a sudden, the lady looked up into the camera and started to speak.

  My heart thumped. What happened to the warning or even a countdown? My eyes grew wide as I sat silent and listened to her introduction.

  “The former wife of Houston singing sensation Cooper Spears was arrested Thursday after a judge found her in contempt of court. She remains here in the Harris County jail. The civil matter is the latest in their legal fight that has gone on for several years. Their marriage in the spotlight of Spears’ career spanned sixteen years, then ended in a bitter custody battle and divorce in 2010.”

  I swallowed hard as I listened to her talk about me as if I wasn’t sitting right across from her. I folded and unfolded my hands; my palms were damp. Suddenly, my throat felt
scratchy like I might lose my voice. But that didn’t seem to matter; she talked enough for us.

  “That divorce case is sealed and under a gag order,” she said, paused, looked down at her notes, then back up at the camera again. “Felicia Spears is now serving thirty days behind bars, and says she wanted to tell her side of the story, and that’s why we’re here with her inside the Harris County jail.”

  Did she really need to keep saying I was in jail, we were at the jail? My orange jumpsuit made it obvious where we were.

  “Uh, I didn’t violate any court orders,” I said. “This is about ‘You’re not supposed to be talking to anybody about your divorce.’ That’s what they’re saying. And, I’m like, this is America, isn’t it?”

  The woman looked at me slightly baffled. Then she started to speak again.

  “Spears says she showed up at court without an attorney because she can’t afford one, adding that Cooper was in court with a legal team and an entourage.”

  “Well, I mean, I wasn’t expecting a four-hour hearing without an attorney,” I said. “Am I angry? Yes, I missed years of my son’s life, and I can’t get those years back.”

  “So what do you want to happen here?” she finally looked at me and asked.

  “I want my fair share. I worked hard to help Cooper get his success. I was there when he was a nobody, I made sacrifices, and now this is how I’m treated? It’s not right.”

  “What kind of sacrifices are we talking about?”

  I looked into the camera, and took a deep breath.

  “Well, he’s not the man you all think he is. He sings all these songs about finding the perfect mate and being the man of every woman’s dreams, but he’s so far from that, it’s crazy to think about.”

  She leaned in.

  “What are you saying about the popular R&B singer Cooper Spears?” Her eyebrows raised as her lips formed a tight, thin line. She waited.

  My heart raced uncontrollably, and I wasn’t sure why I was so nervous. Everything I said was the truth. This was my reality.

  “The number of times I walked in on Cooper with other women is ridiculous!”

  Her brows danced upward some more. I could tell I was no longer invisible to her. It was obvious I had piqued her interest.

  “It was like he couldn’t help himself.”

  “Hell, he’s married to my own damn sister right now.”

  “He’s married to your sister?”

  The expression on her face was one of great confusion. But I knew she was putting extras on it for the cameras.

  “Yes, same mother and father. He and Evelyn acted like they were working on his career, when in fact, they were working on their future, while we were still married.”

  Her well made-up eyes widened dramatically.

  “Your own sister?” she repeated with so much emphasis, it sounded as sinister and scandalous as she intended.

  “Yes, my own sister; Cooper has no moral compass, none whatsoever. They were screwing each other right under my nose.”

  She looked bewildered, so I continued.

  “I remember one time, I was working to try and set up a gig for him, and was having a hard time. I couldn’t figure out why the promoter kept ignoring my calls. When I finally met with him face to face, he told me that his wife, who actually ran the business, didn’t want to do business with such a whoremonger.”

  “He’s a whoremonger? That’s a very powerful claim,” she said.

  Every revelation caused her face to morph into an emotional expression that was more dramatic than the last.

  “If women weren’t showing up at my house, they were hanging around the clubs where he performed. And I don’t blame them as much as I blame him. Coop knew he was married, and I get it: temptation is real, but he took those vows, not the women looking for a good time.”

  “If it was so bad, why did you stay in the marriage?”

  Her question made me pause. I couldn’t tell her that I was screwing around too. The difference between my infidelity and his, was I was doing it to advance his career. But it seemed the harder I worked to make him a star, the more he screwed around.

  “I had invested too much time, and hard work. Besides, we were a family, and I thought we could work through it all. I tried to go to counseling, but Coop was only concerned about his career. He didn’t want to focus on anything but his career.”

  “What would you say to his fans who may not believe you?”

  “Cooper Spears is a serial cheater, child abuser and bigamist who conned me out of my fair share of his newly found fortune.”

  “Those are very serious charges,” she said. Again, her expression was one of great exaggeration. I guess that made for great TV. As she spoke, she split her focus between eye contact with me, her notes, and the camera lens.

  “Yes, and every single word is true. I don’t need to lie. Coop’s adultery nearly drove me to a mental breakdown.”

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Back in my cell, I stretched out on the bed and thought back to the interview. Talking about Cooper and all he had done brought back so many memories. And those memories only made me hate myself for being so gullible.

  Maybe gullible was too harsh. I was more guilty of trying anything to help Cooper keep his gig. When he had stormed out of the office and asked why I was talking to Lenny, I wanted to bitch-slap him. He needed to understand I was trying to keep him working, but as always, Cooper never thought about what it took to get him where he was; he just wanted to get there. Everything in me wanted to go in on him right there in the hallway.

  Instead, I tried to usher Lenny down the hall quickly. I hoped he’d overlook the anger that it was obvious Cooper clung to.

  “Felicia, we like doing business with you, but if you can’t get him under control, y’all gon’ need to find a new home.”

  “You better hope I wanna come back up in this bitch!” Cooper had the nerve to say over his shoulder.

  Lenny looked at me, and the expression on his face was a combination of anger and disgust.

  “Bounce then!” he yelled in Cooper’s direction. Cooper dismissed his comment with the wave of an arm as he strutted past.

  “Quit testing your weight, and be a man. You wanna keep threatening to leave; don’t just bounce,” Lenny said.

  Thank God, Cooper had nearly rounded the corner by the time Lenny finished.

  Alone with Lenny, I really didn’t want to talk about Cooper anymore, but I knew it couldn’t be avoided.

  “We’re gonna pick up the pace in the second set.” I wanted to take the focus away from that messy exchange between the two men, but Lenny wasn’t having it.

  “This is that bullshit I’m talking about when it comes to Coop and how he carries it around here. That punk ain’t doing none of us a favor,” Lenny said.

  It was clear that Lenny struggled to contain the anger he felt. I knew if he had it his way, Cooper would’ve been gone. I rubbed Lenny’s shoulder and tried my best to channel calm his way.

  “You, you good peoples, Felicia, no doubt, but that client of yours, he can eat shit and croak for all we care around here. And that ain’t just me talkin’, either. Nobody likes his ass. He really needs a good reality check. Like he needs to understand he ain’t the only mofo who can hold a tune.”

  “I’m gonna talk to him, Lenny. I promise you that. Let us get through tonight, and I’m gonna talk some sense into him. We like it here, and I don’t need him fucking things up.”

  Lenny gave me a knowing look, then suddenly, as if he could no longer fight it, a reluctant grin spread across his face. “And he is a fuck-up for sure!”

  “Can the church say, ‘Amen’!”

  We hollered together. The relief that washed over me was more than any words could express. Inside, I gave myself a massive pat on the back because all it would take was
one single phone call from Lenny to Al, and our shit would implode. Cooper would be tossed faster than his temper.

  Twenty minutes into Cooper’s second set, I finally felt some true ease. Club customers were dancing, singing along, and the bar was busy. Lenny didn’t have to say anything for me to know he was happy.

  That was the thing about Cooper. He was talented; nobody could take that away from him. But his attitude was worse than dry dog shit. It was almost like he intentionally went out of his way to be the asshole he thought he needed to be.

  Midway through song number five, a really upbeat dance number, I noticed a woman near the front of the stage. She had a tiny waist, and massive hips and was top heavy.

  Normally, the groupies didn’t faze me much; I understood they came with the territory. But this chick, was doing way too much.

  Her eye contact with Cooper was so intense, it made me a little uncomfortable. I moved around the room and kept an eye on the other partygoers who seemed to be enjoying themselves.

  “Felicia, you got a sec?” I nearly went into cardiac arrest at the sound of Lenny’s question. My attention was on the night’s groupie and the rest of the crowd, so he caught me off guard.

  When I looked up, Lenny beckoned me with the wave of a hand.

  “Bitnez,” he said as he motioned with his head.

  I took one last look around before I followed him down the hallway. It couldn’t have been another problem with Cooper. He’d been on the stage for nearly thirty minutes.

  “Earlier I wanted to tell you this, but Cooper’s ignorant ass pissed me off so bad, it slipped my mind.”

  Lenny opened the small office door and waited for me to walk in.

  Cooper hit a high note that I knew was sure to be a crowd-pleaser. His voice was magic. The crowd roared, and I felt good knowing that he still took his craft seriously.

  “What’s up, Lenny?”

  “We’ve got this review coming up soon, and I thought Cooper could headline.” He shook his head. “Now, we don’t need none of that pre-Madonna behavior, but every couple of years, we do a review and invite some important record-label types to sit in on the gigs.”