Exiled: (Phoebe Meadows Book Three)

by Amanda Carlson

  It was a large crown encrusted with jewels.

  It contained more stones than I’d ever seen in my entire lifetime. Rubies, diamonds, and emeralds—many of them bigger than eggs. I’d never seen anything so beautiful.

  Everything in me wanted to stroke it, touch it, and hold it close.

  My instinct was to take it.

  “Phoebe, Phoebe, Phoebe.” Mersmelda cut through my reverie. “You must tear yourself away from its power.”

  I shook my head. “How long was I touching it? I can’t seem to focus on anything else.” My eyes tracked downward, my body hungry for another look, my fingers tracing small circles over the smooth surfaces.

  Mersmelda hastily covered the crown with the cloth and gently pried it from my grasp. “Those are your Valkyrie tendencies. Since the dawn of time, Valkyries have been attracted to things of value, particularly jewels. It is innate within you. You must be careful not to look at it overmuch, or you will begin to obsess.”

  She wasn’t kidding. Obsess seemed tame compared to what I was feeling. “Who am I delivering this to?”

  “The demigod named Vali.”

  “Where do I find him?” I asked.

  “Vali is a recluse who lives deep in the forests of Asgard. But you must deliver him this crown by midnight tonight. It is imperative that he has it before you are sent to Helheim. And it must be delivered by you, in person, none other.”

  “Why would this demigod want to go to Helheim?” I asked.

  She gave me a small smile. “It is Vali’s fate to avenge his brother Baldur’s death. Helheim calls to him, as does Hel, and has since his birth. Once he knows that his deeds will free his brother, he will be at peace.”

  “Brother?” I said.

  “He is the child of Odin and the giantess Rintr. He was born centuries ago, just for this purpose. I am the only one who knows his true fate. If the Norns receive this information, they will kill him.”

  That meant this demigod was my brother. “I will not confide what you’ve told me to anyone. You have my word. But even though avenging his brother is Vali’s fate, I’m not sure I can choose one brother over another to spend an eternity in Helheim.”

  “That’s where Mugin will come in.” She gestured at the raven who sat like a fixture, unmoving, behind her. “The bird will infuse some of Vali’s earliest memories into your mind for you to contemplate. That way, you will get a clearer picture of what Vali must do. Even now, the god craves Helheim. He is Hel’s true mate. You are simply facilitating the future, not hampering it.”

  “Once Vali has the crown, what happens?”

  “The crown is connected to this jewel.” She produced a small cloth bag. “Once Hel has agreed to set Baldur free, you are to give her this. If you do it before that time, all will be lost.”

  She slid the bag across the table. I didn’t dare open it. Being mesmerized again wasn’t on the agenda. “Okay.” I tucked the small package into my belt next to Gram. “Hel agrees to set Baldur free, and I give her the stone. Then we all come home?”

  “Only once Vali arrives will you be allowed to leave,” she said. “Hel must accept him for it to be settled.”

  “How do I find Vali?” I asked. “Am I allowed to ask the Valkyries for help if I don’t divulge his fate? I don’t think I can do this on my own. I don’t know Asgard well enough.”

  “You may confide in the Valkyries, but the mission must be carried out in the utmost secrecy,” she cautioned. “After this meeting, I’m leaving the realm. I cannot be of aid to you again. The raven will help you, and Elrod will gift you a map when you take your leave. That is all we can do.”

  “Thank you for meeting with me. This has been a wealth of information. I appreciate you risking your life to help me.”

  “You must be back from this mission before dawn.” She took my hands in hers. For the first time, I saw that one of her hands was bruised.

  “What happen to your—”

  “It is of no consequence. There is one more thing I must tell you.” Her expression went from serene to imploring. “After your hearing tomorrow, you will not be able to say goodbye, so make your time count before you go.” She let go and stood. “And, as always, the information I’ve given you is merely a guideline. Fate is ever shifting and fluctuating, like the sea before a storm. In the end, trust your heart.” She made a move to leave.

  “Wait,” I said, stumbling up from my seat. “You said I wouldn’t be able to say goodbye. Why is that?”

  Her hand stilled on a small door that was tucked beside the bookcase. “Frigg’s fury is unmatched. She will make her decision in haste. I must go. I wish you well.”

  Then she was gone.

  I grabbed the crown off the table, keeping the cloth firmly tucked around it, and hastily made my way toward the door I’d entered through. When my hand touched the doorknob, a wave of something overcame me and I stumbled backward a few steps.

  I gripped my head, rubbing my temples, as something filtered through my mind.

  It was me as a little girl.

  I was laughing, deliriously happy.

  The background solidified like a mirage coming to life. It was my seventh birthday. The year I got Maisie, my first horse. I’d entered 4H earlier that year, and my parents were so proud. They had blindfolded me and led me to the stables, which had been empty since we’d moved to the farm.

  Everything was so vivid and played out in excruciating detail. The scuffed shoes I wore, the color of my dress—yellow with white polka dots—my emotions, my unbridled exuberance when I set eyes on Maisie for the first time. It was like I was there again. The smells of the barn, the fresh manure, new straw, old wood—it rushed through my senses. Maisie’s glossy eyes as she gazed on me for the first time, her distinct whinny, the apple I offered her in my palm, extending my arm to give it to her.

  Then, like the memory had been unplugged, everything went dark.

  I opened my eyes.

  Mugin sat on the back of the chair I’d just vacated, not so much as a feather out of place.

  He had demonstrated his powers effectively. “Are you going to give me Vali’s memories right now?”

  No, I will provide them for you later. The cadence of Mugin’s voice inside my head was deeper and slower than Huggie’s.

  “Are you accompanying me back to the Stronghold?”

  No.

  Mugin was a bird of few words, which was fine with me. I nodded and left the room.

  I hurried down the stairs. The man who I presumed was Elrod handed my grandmother a roll of parchment. “Thank you,” Grete said, taking it from him. “We will keep it safe.”

  Elrod nodded.

  Once I arrived at the bottom, I asked, “How much longer until the cloak stones wear off?”

  “We have fifteen to twenty minutes left,” my grandmother answered.

  “How long does it take to get to the Stronghold from here?”

  “About ten minutes at most,” Grete said.

  “Good,” I said. “Let’s go.”

  * * *

  “Where in the heck have you been, Phoebe?” Ingrid’s tone was exasperated as she and a group of Valkyries strode into the Stronghold from outside. “We’ve been looking all over for you!”

  “I know, I’m sorry,” I said. “I really am. That’s why I sent the note with the envoy to find you. It’s a long story, but one I can share only in private. Is Rae with you?”

  “She’ll be here shortly. We’ve all been combing the city for you,” Ingrid grumbled. “We thought you’d been kidnapped by the Norns, or something worse, if there is something worse.”

  “My sincerest apologies. But my disappearing couldn’t be helped, and it was for a very good reason.” Ingrid read the look on my face, and her expression changed to curiosity.

  “What? What happened?” She tucked Betsy into her waistband. “Is your mother okay?”

  “As far as I know,” I replied. “It’s not that. Once Rae gets back, can we meet in the confere
nce room?”

  “Of course,” Ingrid said. “Rae is going to want a full accounting of where you were, as am I.”

  “You’ll get it,” I promised. “Rae might want to bring a few Valkyries who are interested in accompanying me on a mission.”

  Ingrid’s eyebrows rose. “A mission, huh? That sounds serious.”

  “It is,” I assured her. “It’s basically life or death for me. I have to go. But I don’t want to discuss it here. Let’s wait until Rae gets back.” A bunch of other Valkyries had amassed behind Ingrid, all of them interested in what I had to say.

  “Can you at least tell me how you disappeared so fast?” Ingrid asked, clutching my elbow and leading me away from the group.

  I smiled. “A cloak stone.”

  “Ah, I should’ve guessed.” Ingrid chuckled. “The good ol’ cloak stone. I’ll tell Rae when she gets back. We’ll meet you there in about twenty minutes.”

  “Sounds good.” I headed back to my room, where Sam was waiting.

  When I came in, she sat up in bed. She was reading an Asgardian book. “So, was Ingrid super mad that we disappeared?”

  “She was, but she recovered quickly. Now I just have to convince them what’s at stake and that they need to help us.”

  “That won’t be hard,” Sam said confidently, tucking her book away. “They all want what’s best for you, which means they’ll do whatever it takes.”

  “I know.” I sat on the edge of my bed, rearranging my broadsword without taking it off. “I have to admit, though, I’m still having a hard time coming to terms with what I have to do.” I hadn’t shared all the details, not wanting to put Vali’s life in danger.

  “From what you told us”—Sam scooted to the edge of her bed, facing me—“whatever happens, it’s this demigod’s destiny. That means whatever’s meant to happen will occur anyway, with or without your help.”

  “I guess.” I wasn’t feeling sure about anything. “I’m anxious to get the memories from Mugin. I hope that once I have them, it will make everything easier.”

  “Phoebe”—Sam’s tone took on a serious note—“this is not a choice. You will find this demigod Vali and do what you have to do, and once you arrive in Helheim, you will convince Hel that she’s pretty and loved and that she has to give Baldur back. This has to happen. There’s no way around it. Your life is on the line.”

  Thank goodness, Fen was going to be with me. I wasn’t sure I could do this without him.

  “I know,” I said. “But honestly, it doesn’t make it any easier.”

  “Maybe once you give Vali the information he needs, he will thank you because he’s so damn grateful,” she said. “You won’t know until you get there.”

  “What if he looks like Baldur?” I stood, moving toward the window. The Valkyries were going about their business like it was a normal day. “What if we have an immediate brother-sister connection? What if he doesn’t want to journey to Helheim after all?”

  Sam sighed. “You’re worrying too much, as usual. Didn’t the seer tell you that this demigod was Odin’s child with a giantess? He probably won’t look anything like Baldur. He probably looks more like Junnal.”

  I crossed my arms. “Fen’s mother is a giantess.”

  “Well…I guess you have a point there.” Sam chuckled. “But Loki and the giantess also gave birth to a sea serpent and the leader of Helheim. I’m thinking their genes are pretty unique. By the way, do you know what Hel looks like?”

  I came back to sit on the bed. “I forgot to ask. Mersmelda only told me that she’s not secure in her looks.” It sounded funny to say out loud.

  “You know what that means, don’t you?” Sam said, leaning forward. “She’s a hideous monster.”

  Before I could agree, a rap sounded on the door. “Ingrid says to meet them in the conference room in five,” a Valkyrie called.

  “Okay,” I replied. “I’ll be there.”

  13

  __________________________

  ____________

  “The map has to be right,” Ingrid argued. “They wouldn’t give Phoebe a fake.”

  “If this is a trap, they would,” Rae countered. “And I don’t see a road anywhere around here made up of beech trees. Beech trees are not even native to Asgard.” Rae and Ingrid had taken opposing sides after I’d told them the story of my disappearance and what Mersmelda had said I needed to do.

  Ingrid believed Mersmelda was telling the truth. Rae leaned toward it most likely being a trap.

  Although, both agreed to accompany me on the mission.

  For that, I was grateful.

  We were deep on the outskirts of Asgard in a dense forest, a place I never would’ve been able to find on my own. We were accompanied by five other Valkyries and my grandmother. I’d insisted Sam stay home, but she hadn’t been happy about it.

  The only troubling piece so far was that Mugin hadn’t appeared.

  I patted my belt, making sure the crown was still attached. It was in a satchel secured to my waist.

  “Mersmelda wasn’t lying to us,” Ingrid said. “She’s been in contact with my sister for years. I trust her.”

  Rae made an exaggerated movement of looking around. “I don’t see any beech trees, much less a lane filled with them. All I see is thick fog, perfect for an ambush.”

  My grandmother called from a position thirty feet away. “I think it might be down this way. I see some trees that I don’t recognize.”

  “Beech trees are only found in Jotunheim,” Rae grumbled as we made our way over. “Why are they even here?”

  “His mother is a giantess,” I replied. “Maybe they make him feel at home.”

  We arrived at my grandmother’s side. Sure enough, down the way a bit, there was a lane lined with trees that didn’t match anything else around. The canopy of the leaves made a natural tunnel. Even in the moonlight, it was beautiful. It was also a bit ominous, with fog floating around the base of the trunks, obscuring any physical evidence of a road.

  “See, I told you,” Ingrid said, satisfaction ringing in her voice. “It’s just as the map describes. There should be a small cottage at the end of this lane, and that’s where Phoebe will find the demigod Vali.”

  “Fan out and stay vigilant,” Rae instructed the Valkyries. “Be on the lookout for any threat.”

  We walked down the lane, our weapons out.

  As I passed the first beech tree, I made out a dark shape near the top among the branches, and almost immediately, images began to float through my mind.

  A young boy, tall for his age, was being bullied by the other kids. They called him names, taunting him to react.

  “You’re big and stupid,” a boy called. They’d been in the classroom, but had just come outside. Vali didn’t feel like fighting back, even though he could. He was much larger than all his classmates, thanks to his mother. They didn’t know his father was Odin, or that he possessed magic.

  If they did, they wouldn’t taunt him so.

  But it didn’t matter.

  He soon found his favorite tree and positioned himself against the smooth bark. Trees calmed him. He let his mind wander to his favorite thoughts, thoughts of the Dark Place. He yearned to visit. In his mind, he pictured fire and brimstone, but instead of eliciting fear, it brought him peace and happiness. His mind drifted to his brother Baldur, the god of light. He was older than Vali, but he had always been good to him. Baldur’s kind words had gotten him through the worst of the torment. He would do anything for his brother.

  “Why don’t you just go back to where you came from? We don’t want you here!” another child called.

  It was too late for their torments to infiltrate his soul. Vali had already settled into his magical world. The one where she would come. And once she was with him, everything would be okay.

  As quickly as that memory faded, another took its place.

  Vali was older, in his teens. He had tried to live at High House with the other gods and goddesses, but it wasn’
t working. He was too different. He sat alone in a corner alcove, his thoughts racing to what he’d overheard today.

  “Loki’s daughter is a beast,” a goddess had said as she’d laughed cruelly.

  “She’s a hag,” another had agreed. “No one would want to visit that place. It’s a true death, even for a god!”

  There had been a trial that day. Vali’s mind was whirling. The gods and goddesses had described a place of horror, filled with death and despair. But rather than being horrified, he’d been entranced. Their descriptions matched his dreams. But he was too fearful to tell anyone. He would be an outcast if he spoke favorably about this place, even more so than before. Who was this Hel they spoke of? Where was Helheim? Could he travel to that realm safely? He rested his head in his hands, despair coursing through him. Why did he have such thoughts? They would certainly be the death of him!

  The memory eased as the small cottage came into view.

  Before another could start, I peered over my shoulder. I couldn’t see Mugin from this vantage point, but I murmured, “Enough. I don’t need another. The picture is clear.”

  “What’s that?” Ingrid asked.

  “Nothing,” I said. “I’m just hoping the coast is clear.”

  “It looks like it to me,” Ingrid said. “If this is a trap, then I’m a court jester. I’ve heard stories about this demigod. He’s a loner. Always keeps to himself. The only one who ever showed him any affection was the god of light.”

  “That makes sense,” I said. I hadn’t shared specific details Mersmelda had given me—even though both Ingrid and Rae had prodded. “I wish my mother was here. I hope she’s okay.”

  “She better be,” Ingrid growled. “Or they’re going to have a lot of pissed-off warriors knocking at their front door. I can’t imagine they would treat her badly, but who knows what Frigg has up her sleeve? That goddess has some serious issues.”

  “You can say that again.” We neared the small cottage. A single light flickered in the front window. There had been no way to warn Vali of our impending arrival, since none of the Valkyries had ever made his acquaintance or known where he lived. Without the map from Mersmelda, we never would’ve found it. “Remember, I need to go in alone.”