by Holly Rayner
“Here,” Sadiq said, walking over to her and filling her water glass. “Drink this. I know, it’s a lot to take in. I’m sorry if I upset you.”
Hannah just nodded and took the glass into her shaking hands. She drank down a few gulps and then set the glass back on the table. The rooftop was coming back into focus and she could almost see clearly again.
“Better?” Sadiq asked as he knelt by her side. She could smell his cologne and thought yes, that alone made it better.
She looked over at him and nodded, before realizing that her hand was resting on the square package that the check had been tucked into. She held it up and looked at Sadiq with a questioning face.
“Oh no,” he laughed. “There’s no check in there. This one’s safe.”
Hannah nodded slowly, then pulled the package close and began to open it. She pulled off the ribbon and slipped her finger under the foil paper, ripping it open gently to reveal a CD case with a picture of herself, in the maroon mermaid dress, on the front. She turned the case over and saw all of the songs from one of her sets listed on the back.
He had recorded one of her performances and made a CD of it just for her. No one had ever done that for her before. She had been recorded in the past, of course, but normally it was by audience members on their cellphones. No one had ever taken the time to take a picture of her, a darned good picture at that, and put it on the cover of what looked like a professionally-produced album.
Hannah was speechless. She felt the tears welling up in her eyes. She looked over at Sadiq. His face was soft and kind and his eyes were filled with happiness. She reached over and touched his face, then leaned in and kissed him on both cheeks, although she wanted to do so much more. He held her hand against his cheek for a moment and then abruptly pulled away.
Sadiq was thrilled he had been able to make Hannah happy. That was all he wanted to do. But her reaction to the gift, her touch, her lips, they were all just a little too much for him, and he knew he had to take a step back. After all, she would be leaving tomorrow. And he still wasn’t sure how she felt about him.
Hannah noticed his reaction and realized that she had crossed a line. They were, after all, just business associates. Two professionals working together, nothing more. But there was so much more between them, and Hannah knew it. She knew what she felt for him, and she was pretty sure he felt something for her, too. She could tell by the way his lips would linger on her cheek, the way he stroked her hand when he held it. She could see it in his smile, in his eyes. And yet, for some reason, he couldn’t say it.
Hannah sighed, realizing that this was it. The night was drawing to a close and she would be leaving in the morning. She was grateful to have had the experience, and overwhelmed with gratitude at Sadiq’s generosity, but above all, she was sad. Here she was, with a professional recording of herself, an all-expenses paid trip one of the most beautiful places on earth, and a check for a million dollars, and still she was unhappy.
She let out a long breath and got up from the table. “Thank you,” she said as she gathered up her gifts. “For everything. For the opportunity, for your company, for the dinner, for this,” she said, holding up the CD. “Really, I am so very grateful.”
Hannah looked so upset. Sadiq couldn’t leave her like that. He ran to join her as she walked toward the elevator.
“Hannah,” he said when he caught up with her. “Let me walk you back to your room, please.”
They could both sense the awkwardness between them. She looked up at him with mournful eyes and nodded. The elevator doors opened and when they got out, they walked down the hall to her room in silence.
Fatima was waiting at the door, but when she saw the two of them approaching, she disappeared down the hall into another room. Hannah stopped in front of her door and turned to look at Sadiq.
“So,” she said, unsure how to end things. “Will you be joining me on the ride back to the jet?”
Sadiq shuffled his feet and looked down for a moment. Then his eyes met Hannah’s again and she knew the answer before he spoke.
“Oh, of course not…” she said.
“Hannah, it’s just—”
She cut him off before he could say another word, shaking her head and looking down. She wanted to run into the room and slam the door behind her. She wanted to put something solid between them. Standing this close to him was just too much.
“Please,” he said, knowing this was his last chance to see her smile. He wanted to explain why he couldn’t go with her in the morning. He wanted to tell her that his feelings for her were just too strong. He wanted her to know that if he got in that limo and drove her to the jet, his heart would break if he had to watch her leave. He wanted to tell her all of those things, but he couldn’t. All he could do was reach in to kiss her cheek.
That was it. Hannah couldn’t take it another second. Here he was, coming in for a goodnight kiss, after all his aloofness and coolness?
“Stop!” she said, pushing him away with her hand. “I can’t do this anymore. One minute you’re nice and easy to be with and the next you’re distant and cold. I know I’m not like the other women in your culture. But guess what, I’m nobody’s dirty little secret either! You either like me or you don’t! You can’t have it both ways!”
Sadiq watched her face go red. “I’m so sorry Hannah. I had no idea that you felt like that. I warned you that our cultures are different and that you might not be accepted here, but maybe that wasn’t enough.”
Hannah rolled her eyes as she spoke. “Because I’m a woman.”
“No,” Sadiq said as he placed his hands on her shoulders. “Because you are such a radical, passionate, talented woman—the kind of woman that not everyone in my country is ready for. Hannah, I’m so sorry. Maybe bringing you here was a mistake.”
Hannah’s body started to shake as the tears welled up and spilled over onto her cheeks. She couldn’t keep it inside any longer. She had to let him know how she felt. “If you hadn’t brought me here, we never would have gotten to know each other,” she said.
Sadiq watched her tears fall and his heart almost broke in two. He gripped her shoulders tighter and pulled her into him, finally placing his lips on hers in a kiss that was long overdue.
Hannah felt his warm lips on hers and returned the kiss. Moments later, they were in her bedroom, touching, sharing, exploring each other’s bodies.
All of the emotions of the past six weeks came pouring out. They spoke in movement, letting their bodies do the talking, allowing their fingers and mouths to express everything they felt for one another. Later, they laid in bed, holding each other close under the thick covers. Hannah’s rested her head on Sadiq’s chest as he ran his fingers lazily through her red mane, before they fell asleep to the sound of each other’s breath.
SIXTEEN
Morning arrived and Hannah opened her eyes to the first slivers of the El-Shakanish sun slicing across the bedroom. She looked over and saw Sadiq’s sleeping body next to hers, the sheets rising and falling with his breath. She replayed the events of the night before, remembering every kiss, every touch they had shared. Her body felt warm and tingly even as Hannah felt a twinge of panic and guilt rise up in her.
Had she crossed a line? Hannah watched him sleep as she tried to make sense of what had happened. They had spent a lovely evening on the rooftop, enjoying the delicious meal he had prepared. Then he had given her the CD and the check. The check! Hannah looked over to the nightstand and saw it right where she had left it the night before.
Sadiq had paid her a million dollars, twice the amount her contract had specified. And then he had slept with her. Well, she had slept with him. Either way, it was all so confusing. Had he taken advantage of her while she was overwhelmed at being paid so much money? Had she finally allowed him to get close because she had genuine feelings for him, or because she wanted to show him her gratitude?
Hannah didn’t know what to think. All she knew was that she had done the one thing sh
e had sworn she wouldn’t do. She had gotten involved with the man she worked for… again. She closed her eyes and remembered how terribly things had ended with Harvey. And now, here she was in bed with Sadiq. This is a disaster waiting to happen. Maybe he sleeps with all of his singers. Maybe he was just using me…
She looked over at him again, breathing in the musky scent of his body in the warm morning air. She didn’t want to believe that he’d been using her; she’d really thought that the feelings he had for her were genuine.
At the same time, though, those feelings could have been just the result of spending so much time together—they had had such an intense experience together these last six weeks. And even if Sadiq’s feelings ran deeper, even if they were genuine, they still couldn’t go any further than they had last night; his culture, his family, his own fear would never allow it.
Hannah let out a long, jagged breath. She felt tears welling up in the corner of her eyes and knew what she had to do.
Without making a sound, Hannah slipped out from under the covers and went into the bathroom to change. She emerged a moment later and darted into her own suite to gather her bags before rolling them out into the hall.
She returned to the sitting area, sat down at the desk, took out a notepad and began to write.
Dear Sadiq,
I don’t know what happened last night. I just know that I can’t accept your money. The record you made me, and getting to know you through this experience are reward enough.
H
Hannah wanted the check so very badly, but she wasn’t willing to compromise her integrity for it. She remembered the lesson she had learned from her father when he refused to take the high-paying tech job, and she would not allow herself to be used. She was already conflicted, knowing she had acted unprofessionally; she didn’t want to degrade herself even more by accepting money after she had slept with Sadiq.
She folded the note over and tiptoed back into the bedroom. She walked to the nightstand, picked up the CD, and left the note and check behind as she walked out and closed the door behind her.
***
Fatima saw her walking out of the room and came up beside her. “Miss Green? Are you leaving already? You’re not scheduled to depart for a few hours yet.”
Hannah smiled quickly at Fatima, trying her best to avoid eye contact. “Yes, I know. I just, the flight got moved up, I mean, I needed to…” She tried to find the words but her emotions were causing her to babble.
Fatima looked at her with kind eyes and reached over and grabbed two of the bags. “I understand. Well then, let us go.”
She didn’t say another word, just walked Hannah down to the main hall. Once they arrived there, Fatima called one of the other staff members over and whispered something in his ear. Hannah stood silently with Fatima as the sun rose behind them and spilled across the bright marble floor. Several minutes later, Naasir pulled the limo up to the front steps and walked up to take Hannah’s bags.
“Good morning, Miss Green,” he said, tipping his hat slightly to her, his face kind and soft.
She looked at him and nodded. She tried to give him a smile but failed miserably; Naasir was just so nice that she couldn’t keep anything back from him.
He could tell immediately that something was wrong, but he didn’t pry. “Allow me, ma’am,” he said, taking the remaining bags out of her hands. “Please,” Naasir said and ushered Hannah down the marble steps.
She walked over to the limo and stopped as she reached the open door. She turned and looked back at the palace, watching the sun rise over the central dome. Her eyes wandered up to the room where Sadiq was sleeping and she felt a pang of sadness in her heart. Then she looked across to Fatima and smiled, with tears in her eyes, telling her silently how thankful she was for everything.
She was about to turn around when Maala came running out of the house and down the steps. “Hannah! Wait!”
Hannah watched as the round little woman bounced down the marble steps and came to a stop in front of her. She was holding out a large basket covered with a white linen napkin, and Hannah could tell by the warm, spicy fragrance rising from it that it held fresh-baked delicacies and other goodies.
“Some fruit, bread, and cheese for your trip back. You can’t go home skinnier than you came!”
Hannah giggled as she bent down and hugged Maala, and the older woman grabbed her face and planted a big kiss on each one of her cheeks. As they pulled apart, Maala wiped away a tear and folded her chubby hands in front of her.
“Go now, before I cry all over your breakfast.”
Hannah felt the tears sting her eyes and smiled back at Maala. Then she turned and disappeared into the dark, cool cabin of the limo. Naasir closed the door behind her then got into the driver’s seat and stepped on the gas, slowly driving the limo down the long, winding driveway.