Clockwork Romance

by Andy Mandela

  “Umm,” he says, trying to remember. “I’m friends with her brother. I would have gone after her, but… she isn’t really my type.”

  “What do you mean?” I questioned in disbelief. “She’s beautiful.”

  “Yes she is. I didn’t say she wasn’t. I’m just saying she isn’t my type. Not completely anyway. She’s too conservative, too down to earth, not to mention she’s really… outgoing.”

  “And that’s not your type?”

  “You see, I like a girl who wants no more than I do, that way, if things go south, she’ll bounce back easily instead of crying her eyes out over a carton of Haagen-Dazs.” I put a twist tie around the weighed out bag. I’m relieved that Brandon didn’t have any interest with Hannah. She deserves a better man than him. “So who’s this other girl you met?” he asks, as I walk over to hand him the bag.”

  “Her name’s Karina. I met her at the bar across the street. And unlike most, I actually plan on seeing her again. But we’re just friends for now, though, so I hasn’t gone very far.”

  Brandon stands up to receive the bag. “As much as I’d love to stay and talk feelings, I gotta get going.” He hands me the money, and leaves with, “Later.” I reply with the same.

  As I close the door, one thought goes through my mind. I want out of this business. Bad. I need to start taking this future shit seriously. I could simply sell my entire stash and retire, but then I’d feel like I have nothing left. I wouldn’t be any more productive than I am now. This may take a little longer than I thought. I should’ve just told Brandon that I’m not doing this anymore, that I’m quitting. I should’ve done that. So what do I do now? Sit around and wait for eight o’ clock?

  Fast forward to ten ‘til eight, and that’s exactly what I did. The rest of the day felt like any other day, with very little getting accomplished, or anything for that matter. However, the day did seem a little more relaxed than usual, which is more than I can say now, since I’m a little nervous about meeting Karina. I know, I just know that she was the one that I’ve seen walking around in this building. Maybe she has a friend who loves in this building, on this floor. But, when she left last night, she didn’t come into my building, so she definitely live in the building. But I don’t know. We’ll talk more in a little bit.

  Right now I’m just lying on the couch resting my eyes as the television lights up the room. I’m not really paying attention to what’s on. I just lay my head back and try to find peace. That’s all I can do, try. Sometimes I have dreams without falling asleep. It’s strange really, because even though I’m consciously only seeing black, my mind can creates images that are as real as anything else, just by imagining it. Sometimes I even lose track of time.

  Damn it! What time is it? The only clock in my apartment is the one in my room, so I get up, turn off my television, and run into my room. By the way, there is no door to my room. The only thing separating the living room from my bedroom is a big archway. I stop once in my room and look at the clock. 8:05 pm. I hurry to get my things and then I’m out the door. I don’t consider this an occasion where I’d want to be fashionably late. I don’t want Karina to think that I’ve forgotten or lost interest. I especially don’t want to leave her there for some other jackass to hit on her. Thankfully, I’m only gong across the street.

  Once inside the bar, I act cool. I look at the booth where we sat last night, thinking she might be waiting for me there. But no one. The bar wasn’t busy. It was only a little after eight after all. I guess I’ll have a drink on a stool while I wait for Karina to get here. The second I get to the stool, before ordering my drink, I hear a familiar voice behind me say, “There you are.” I turned around and noticed Karina standing before me, in a grey pea coat.

  “Hi,” I offer. “Have you been waiting here long?”

  “Not at all,” she said, giving me another beautiful smile. “How about instead of drinks, we go and get something to eat? Are you hungry?”

  “Yes, uh, that sounds great,” I comply. The bartender pointed his finger at me, which asked me what I wanted to drink as if he didn’t know. “Nothing,” I tell him, while walking away with Karina to the door. I wasn’t too sure which direction to walk once we got outside. Would we each go into our own car? In my car? In her car? I decided to be a man and say, “We can go in my car.”

  “Okay,” she agreed, eager to get going. “How far are we walking?”

  “You see that black challenger over there with the gold stripes.”

  “Yeah.”

  “That’s how far.”

  “You mean that’s yours?” She was impressed.

  “Yup.”

  “Wow. I didn’t know a nothing could afford that.” We both laughed. We got into the car and I began driving.

  “So do you have a place in mind?” I asked.

  “As a matter of fact, I do. How about Guten Tag?” she suggested.

  “That sounds good,” I respond. Guten Tag means “good morning” or “good afternoon” in German. It’s not like Guten Tag was a German restaurant though. Maybe the place was founded by a German guy. I don’t know, I didn’t study the history of this place. I chuckled a little to myself.

  “What’s so funny?” Karina wondered.

  “Oh I was just thinking about how easy it was for us to decide where to eat. Most women would have me drive down every street in the city before they would come to a final decision.”

  Karina had on an over-the-shoulder purse, pretty small and square shaped. She rustled through it while saying, “Well, instead of most women, you have me. So tell me, have many women sat in this seat?”

  Considering my usual relations with women, I say, “No.”

  “Well that’s good.” She pulled out a cigarette. She already had it in her mouth before she asked, “Do you mind?”

  “No, just roll down the window,” I answered. “So much for quitting, huh?”

  “This is actually the first one I’ve had since last night,” she said.

  “So what’s making you smoke now?” I asked.

  She thought about it. She looked like she had been stumped. “I don’t know.” She took a long drag and tossed the cigarette out of the window. Then she exhaled the smoke, and began laughing. I smiled with her. But then I thought about something. Am I on a date? How would I know? Should I just ask?

  “So, uh, Karina?” I said.

  “Yeah,” she returned, bringing the window back up.

  “I may not have many real social interactions, but… what would you call this?”

  “You mean, are we on a date?” she clarified.

  I nodded. She continues, “We’re just two people going to dinner. What becomes of that is the future’s business.”

  “For now…” I said, “… how about instead of two people, we’re two friends? Even though we haven’t really known each other for very long.”

  “Twenty-four hours to be exact,” she corrected.

  “That’s all fine, but, it’s just that… you’re the closest I’ve had to a real friend in a long time.” I wasn’t sure if I should have just said that.

  “Why’s that?” she asked. I tried to think of an honest response.

  “Well, I haven’t been very good at keeping friends, much less finding them.”

  “Do you consider yourself a loner?” she questioned.

  “Let’s just say I’d rather prefer a small group of friends instead of a larger one. I’m not good at finding people like me, who I get along with and want to hang around with.”

  She gives me a look like she wants to kiss me out of pity. “Do you think I’m one of the few you could… get along with?”

  “Maybe,” I said, giving her a brief smile, then returning my eyes to the road. “So what do you do? Do you have a job?”

  “No, no job,” she answers. “I’m not a fan of being told what to do by a tyrannical boss who only has green in their eyes. That’s like asking me if I want to get paid to be someone’s bitch. No thanks. But I am going to sc
hool, making my living by living off loans in a decent apartment.”

  “I’m in school too,” I told her, thinking that could be added to the things we have in common. “What are you going for?”

  “I don’t know…” She tried to think. “… I just want something to strive for. It’s ironic really, because if I knew what I wanted to do, I wouldn’t be in college at this age.”

  “I’m kind of the same way. Most people know what they want to be before starting school. Unfortunately, others don’t find out until they’ve almost finished, then make change after change after change.”

  A few more seconds of silence pass by while we desperately searched for another topic to keep the conversation going. Finally, Karina spoke, “Back to what you were saying earlier, everyone has friends, but I, uh, I don’t really have anyone who I hang out with a lot either. You know, like a best friend or something. I used to have one friend who I used to hang out with for a while, then another friend, then another friend, then another friend. I’ve never really had anyone who remained constant. I guess I’ve always been used to that. But I mean, everyone wants to have an ideal friendship with another. Guys… all they wanted was sex. And girls… well most already have their own clique. The last thing I’m gonna do is try to fit in with people I don’t like just for the sake of having someone around.”

  “Strange,” I interrupted.

  “What’s strange?” she asked.

  “How we think alike.” Suddenly, I got the urge to ask her what I had been thinking earlier. “Do you happen, by chance, to live in or know anyone who lives in my apartment building?”

  “No,” she responds. “Why?”

  “No reason. Just curious.”

  She gives me a funny look. “You’re curious to know if I know anyone who lives in your apartment building?”

  “You see, I feel like I’ve seen you in there before. Around,” I explained

  “Nope, never been there,” she said.

  Before we knew it, we had gotten to the restaurant, sat down, and ordered, all accompanied by the usual phrases like, “How many tonight?” “What can I get you?” “I’ll have the…” I had a steak, while Karina had a cheeseburger. Anyways, that’s not important. However, I found a good conversation topic to talk about. “So how do you feel about relationships? Doesn’t necessarily have to be your own.”

  “I suppose if we’re talking generally, then I’d say I don’t see the point in most of them, to be honest,” she says. “I mean, why would you date someone who you couldn’t see yourself spending the rest of your life with? I guess it could just be that initial attraction, or good company, or even just a good lay. But it does get depressing when you know it won’t last.” We took turns speaking while the other ate.

  “So how do you expect two people to get married?” I question. That question was a little short, so I had to wait a few moments for her to finish her bite.

  “I suppose if two people were together long enough, they would eventually decide on marriage, wouldn’t they?” she said.

  “Do you think that could be done without dating?” I asked.

  “Of course not all the time. I’m not saying dating is useless for everyone, but as far as I’m concerned, I haven’t met the guy who I imagine growing old with yet.”

  “How would you know that if you don’t give people a chance? That’s the entire point of dating, going out to find someone you can feel that way about. It doesn’t always depend on the first impression.” I decided then to tell her a story from my past. “When I was about sixteen, there was this girl I had a crush on in high school. I thought she was cute, of course. I had a few classes with her, but never spoke to her. I mean I said a few words to her, but never started a conversation. I was… shyer back then. Then came the day that, after that, I would never see her again. The last time I saw her, she was hanging around this other guy. I don’t know if he was her boyfriend or what, but it was clear that we probably would never be together. All of this was because I was afraid to take that chance. What I’m trying to say is, you’ll never know until you try. If I had said something to her before that guy did, and trust me when I say I had plenty of time, then my future could have turned out completely different. But I’ll never know.”

  Karina was just staring at me like she was waiting for me to take a bow. Instead, she said, “That’s an interesting story.”

  “Well,” I say, “now that you mention it, how many people do you know only stay in one relationship their entire lives?”

  “Not very many, if any.”

  “Do you think it’s the fear of commitment?” I ask.

  “I don’t think it’s so much a fear as it is something people don’t want or care about. But you know, the longer you go without somebody in your life, the more likely you’d be willing to accept it. Commitment, that is. If you have plenty of people to be around, plenty of friends, then who the hell cares if you screw up a relationship with one person? Now if you have no one, the more you crave companionship, assuming loneliness isn’t something you like.”

  This talk was going well, so I decided to push the conversation a little further. “I’m guessing marriage isn’t something that’s really interested you?”

  “I’d like to… someday. If I haven’t grown old and withered by then.”

  “Don’t be too doubtful about it,” I told her, trying to comfort her. “You’re a great catch.”

  Now she looked ready to say something else. “When you say that, is it based solely on my appearance? My looks?”

  “No,” I tell her. “Not completely, at least. Like you said, there’s always an attraction, but I can tell that there’s more to you than what appearances may suggest.” She gave me a smile, then I smiled back. That’s when the waitress came by to ask us if we needed anything else. We didn’t, so she gave us our check and told us to have a good night. Yeah, like she meant that. The bill was twenty-three dollars and some change, so I took out a twenty and a five and put them on the table.

  “Wait,” Karina interrupted. “You’re only going to tip a little over a dollar?”

  “Yeah, and she’s sort of lucky I’m tipping anything, but I don’t carry around exact change,” I said.

  “What the hell is up with that?” she questioned.

  “It’s long, it’s complicated. Long story short, I used to work in a restaurant just like this, and more often than not, she’s going to use my money along with everyone else’s just to go get drunk or something. Me, I like to know exactly what my money is being spent on, so I’m sorry, but I’m not in the business of funding other people’s wild endeavors.” I sort of am if you think about it, but I won’t mention it. What was weird was that Karina began to smirk.

  “Is that just another way of saying you’re cheap?” she asked.

  I give her a funny look. I can’t believe she just called me cheap. “No it’s not. And to prove it…” I took my wallet out and took out another twenty dollar bill. I saw the look in Karina’s eyes as I put the bill on the rest with the others. “How’s that?” I asked.

  “I guess I take back what I said.” And with her stunning green eyes staring into mine, she continued, “So where do we go from here? The evening is still young. I would hate for it to end so suddenly.” Karina looked up and to the right, like she was thinking. Then her eyes went right back to look at me. “How about we go back to your place? For a nightcap. I think we know each other well enough now to where we can visit. What do you say?”