by Maxene Novak
“Then we will,” he says, grabbing my arm. “We'll start including you. Just don't do this.”
“I already told him I would,” I respond as he lets my arm slide from his grasp.
“Then cancel.” He gives me a look of annoyance.
“You know, maybe I need this,” I hiss angrily. “To figure myself out. Did you think about that?”
“Yes,” he says reluctantly, “I know you need this, but the thought of you out with some other guy is disconcerting.”
“I'm sorry,” I reply quietly. “I don't mean to hurt your enormous man ego, but you two seem to be doing just fine on your own. I don't see a problem with me going out on a harmless date.”
“We haven't…” He shakes his head. “Look, we've kissed and—okay, maybe some other stuff, but we both still love you.”
“Since when do you love me?” I laugh. “Adam, I can believe, but you? Come on.”
“Since pretty much now,” he says as I walk outside to continue the conversation. “Look, I know it's crazy, but if you'd just—”
“What?” I ask, turning around to look at him. “Listen to you ramble about wanting us both and you're confused? But wait, you just admitted to sleeping with Adam. You haven't even asked me out for some air, but I'm supposed to believe you're in love with me?!”
“Yes,” he responds after a moment in thought.
“Right. Hm,” I acknowledge, as if in deep thought, “Yeah, still going.”
“You can do what you want,” he says softly. “I just thought you should know—I love you and this really sucks.”
He sighs and walks away. My irritation deflates and it leaves me feeling really bad. Great. He's hurt, Adam is obviously hurt, but I have a right to figure myself out, don't I? Yes, yes I do.
Tensions run high for the rest of the day. It's mentally taxing. Glares and clipped words are exchanged throughout the day, but nothing too drastic. It's left me drained though. Tomorrow is Tuesday and I did tell Chad I'd go.
I fall onto my bed, dead weight. I'm so exhausted. I'm emotionally worn out. I wish I had someone I could talk to, but no one would understand. Adam would guilt me into not going, Mom doesn't need to know about my sex life and that just wouldn't be a comfortable conversation, Dorian is—Dorian. The rest of the guys would probably freak.
All of a sudden, my phone rings. I sit up and pull it out of my pocket. It's Chad. Probably calling to cancel on me. I'll bet Dorian got involved. I'm going to kill him!
“Hello?” I answer and wait for the inevitable excuse he's about to give for canceling.
“Hey, Nova. What's up?”
“Not much. I think if I don’t sleep tonight I might die. I'm exhausted.”
“I hear you,” he says. “Practice was especially dark today. You could cut the tension with a butter knife. I'm pretty sure I have actual lacerations from the daggers Adam kept glaring at me throughout the day.”
“I'm sorry,” I sigh, deciding to give him an easy out. “If you want to cancel I completely understand.”
“What?!” he scoffs. “No way! Chad Grover is taking you out tomorrow in style! Wednesday's practice is going to be so dramatic. It will be popcorn worthy!”
“Is that why you're doing this? The drama?”
“Not entirely,” he admits. “I am concerned for you as a friend and think you need a breather. So, I'm treating you to a relaxing evening. No singing karaoke, no photo ops, just a relaxing night on the town—maybe a little bit of spontaneous fun—nothing major.”
“I don't want to cause you any trouble. I went into this thinking I needed more thrills in my life. I think I bit off more than I can handle this time.”
“I figured,” he responds. “I can tell when you're stressed out. You get really into the music and you scream more.”
“Maybe that's why I'm so tired,” I reply and he laughs.
“Look, I don't want you to fret about this,” he notes seriously. “Let Dorian and Adam get jealous. My intentions are pure. You're a babe, Nova, but you're not just any babe. Not to me. You're like… my family. So, let's just get dressed up, go out, and have a night on the town.”
“They're already really jealous.” I'm not even bothering with pretenses. I'm way too tired for them.
“Let them be. They think we don't know, but we do—we see them whispering and groping in-between breaks. Where are you? With us—doing what we're supposed to be doing. I don't see them including you in their little world.”
I pause for a moment, almost afraid to ask him about what is on my mind, but he's so cool about everything else.
“Can… can I ask you something?” I ask, unsure.
“Shoot.”
“You're going to think I'm really weird,” I sigh and he chuckles.
“Do you…” I stutter, not sure how to ask, “do you think it's possible to love two people?”
“Oh my God, Nova!” He remarks in disgust, but cracks up laughing. “Hell yes, it is! Sometimes I love three or five—at the same time even.”
I laugh at him, but he quickly gets serious.
“You mean like,” he lets his sentence drop for a second, “polyamory? Sure! I mean, I don't think it's for everyone, but I think if you're open and honest with each other it can be done. Talking and open communication is a must, but if all partners in question are consenting and know what's up—It stands a chance like any other relationship.”
“You don't think it's weird?” I ask, grimacing at my tone of voice.
“No,” he says after a moment of contemplation. “I think if I could settle down and love two people as much as they love me—I'd be down with that.”
“What if they love each other too?” I ask feeling down.
“Then even better! If you all love each other equally then it's pretty much perfect.”
“That would be kind of nice,” I can hear my own voice begin to break. I clear my throat before letting myself speak again.
“I better let you get some sleep,” he states, letting me off the hook. “If you need someone to talk to, Nova, you always have my ear. No judging ever, promise.”
“Same, Chad. Thank you for talking to me.”
“No problem. Just wait until I have girl problems, girlfriend. You're my wing man now.”
“Bring it on,” I giggle. “Goodnight, Chad. I'll see you tomorrow.”
“Later, beautiful.” He hangs up the phone.
I feel better knowing that this isn't a serious date. I breathe a sigh of relief and close my eyes. Sleep soon overcomes me and I'm out before I can even change my clothes.
Chapter Ten
I wake to the sound of my alarm. I set it for noon today so I could get to practice early. I want to explain to the guys that it's not a serious date. That way they can calm down. I don't feel right letting them believe that Chad has his eye on me.
When I pull up to Adam's, I notice his truck is gone. Strange. He's usually always here before everyone else. I walk into the pool house and notice that Dorian and Chad are missing too. Kyle and Bryan look like they're confused.
“What's going on, guys?” I ask, giving them a look. “Where is everybody?”
“Um, we don't really know,” Kyle responds, brushing his hair back. “They said something about not allowing it and over my dead body and took off.”
“Okay, who is they?” I ask anxiously. “Chad and…?”
“No, he hasn't shown up yet,” Bryan replies. “Adam and Dorian left way before you got here.”
“Oh, wonderful. Any idea where they were going?”
“Uh…” Bryan stammers and I give him a look. “They kind of mentioned… Chad.”
“Come on, dude!” Kyle scolds him. “They told us to keep our mouths shut!”
“I can't lie to Nova!” Bryan argues. “She sees right through me!”
“You're freaking kidding me?!” I exclaim and head out the door.
“No, Nova!” Kyle says, racing after me. “No, don't go over there!”
“Yeah, it
's not a good idea,” Bryan urges, grabbing my arm. “They were pretty mad.”
“More reason for me to go!” I persistently force myself out of their hold.
They groan as I jump in the van and kick it to life. I whip out my cell phone and call Chad. Bryan and Kyle jump in the back while I'm distracted.
“What's up, Nova? Sorry, I'm running late. Slept in past nine kind of morning. I had to cuddle.”
What does that even mean?
“Have you run into Adam or Dorian?” I ask, shifting the van into drive. “Are you at home?”
“No, work ran over,” he yawns.
“Whatever you do, don't go home,” I warn; he kind of pauses for a minute.
“Okay, why?” he asks suspiciously.
“I think Adam and Dorian are looking for you.”
“What?! Why? Because I'm taking you out?”
“Probably,” I retort angrily.
“This is going to be good. See ya at my place!”
“Chad, don't!” I beg, hoping he didn't just hang up. “I don't want any drama! Please, just come to the pool house and we can do this together.”
There's a moment of silence and I was convinced that he'd hung up, but the phone says we're still connected. Then I hear a long breath on the other line. He must have been trying to calm down.
“Okay, I'll see you at the pool house,” he says quietly. “I don't care what they say. I'm taking you out tonight. We're not doing anything wrong. Just two friends having a good time. Have you picked out what you're going to wear?”
“Yep, you said Acadia's, so I'm dressing for the occasion,” I reply with a laugh. “Listen, me and the boys are coming to get you.”
“Righteous. I'm on the corner of—shit!”
“What?!” I exclaim, my heart sinking.
“They're here,” he says, suddenly nervous. “How did they find me?!”
“You gave us your address when you signed up with us,” I remind him.
“Dude, that was a fake address!” he replies in a hushed tone, “I didn't know if you guys were legit.”
I guess that makes sense. There are tons of bands in the Chicago area and some of them are a little strange.
“So, how did they find you?”
“I don't know!” he then gasps. “I'm not even home!”
“Well, tell me where you are so I can get you!” I speed down the road.
“Um, I'm… going to head toward Millennium Park,” he remarks distractedly. “I might be able to lose them in the crowd.”
“I'll meet you at the front gate. Try to lay low!”
I hang up the phone and toss it back for one of the boys to catch.
“Get a hold of Adam or Dorian!” I tell Bryan. “Tell them to get their asses to the pool house.”
“R-Right,” he stutters anxiously as I speed around a turn. “Okay, Adam.”
“Speaker phone!” I tell him and he does as I ask.
He dials Adam's phone. Nothing.
“No go for Adam,” he states as I speed through the next light. “Trying Dorian.”
Dorian answers on the first ring.
“Dorian!” Bryan exclaims. “Hey, bro! What's up?!”
“Why do you have Nova's phone?” he asks suspiciously.
“W-Well, uh…” he stammers, “you see…”
“Where the hell are you two?!” I ask, reaching back and grabbing my phone.
“Hello, beautiful,” Dorian responds cheerfully upon hearing my voice. “I hope the day is treating you well.”
“Where. Are. You?” I ask completely annoyed.
“Just taking a stroll,” he replies innocently.
“To Chad's place?” I ask, trying to mask my irritation.
“I knew he would cave,” Dorian says dully. “I'm so disappointed in you, Bryan.”
Bryan hangs his head in shame and I glare at him.
“Who's team are you on?!” I ask, hitting my brakes for extra effect.
“Totally your team!” he says, holding up his hands in panic as I screech around another turn.
“Oh my, sounds like you're driving,” Dorian comments in a scolding manner. “You shouldn't be on the phone while doing so. I'm hanging up now.”
“You better not!” I seethe at him and he tsks.
“I will not be laden with guilt by your destructive choices. Good bye!”
“Dorian!” He doesn't answer. “I'm going to kill him! He hung up on me!”
“Get ‘em, Nova!” Kyle encourages and I punch the gas.
“Y-Yeah!” Bryan adds, holding onto the arm of his chair anxiously.
When we pull up to the front gate, I spot Chad hiding behind a newspaper, his platinum blonde hair sticking out like a sore thumb. Ugh! Who taught these guys how to lay low? I look just ahead and about fifty yards away I see Adam peering about the crowd.
“Shit!” I exclaim. “Okay, open the door! Hurry! CHAD!”
He quickly glances out from behind his paper just as Adam spots him.
“RUN!” I yell and he hauls ass toward the van.
Adam calls out to him and quickly gives chase. We pull away, leaving Adam behind and chasing the van.
“Great timing, Nov,” Chad greets me, gasping for air. “Let's get the hell out of here!”
He makes his way to the backseat and I take a look at him. He's dressed really nice. I don't think I've ever seen him in a proper vest like this before.
“Where did you come from?” I ask, looking him over. “I didn't think you owned a pair of slacks.”
“I don't. We know where Adam is. Where is Dorian?”
“No clue,” I reply, but as it leaves my mouth I pass by Dorian as he's walking down the sidewalk.
He looks straight at me and stops walking. Our eyes connect as I drive down the main strip and back toward the pool house. His eyes are angry and hurt while I'm sure mine are probably raging and capable of murder. Who is he to judge?!
My cell phone rings.
“It's Adam,” Chad states looking at the screen. “Do you mind?”
“Yes!” I say loudly, but he answers it anyway.
“Hey, Adam!” he answers cheerfully. “I'm told you've been looking for me.”
He puts the phone on speaker and I can barely understand a word Adam is saying.
“Adam, stop screaming,” I yell after a moment. “We'll talk at the pool house. Hang it up, Chad!”
He does as he's told, but the phone rings immediately afterward.
“It's him again,” Chad notes.
“L-Let me have it,” I reply and take the phone.
“Yes?”
“Nova!” Adam says angrily. “Where are you?”
“Headed back to your place for practice. We don't have time for petty drama, Adam.”
“Are you going out with him?!” Adam asks. “You know how Dorian and I feel about it, but you're still going to go?!”
“Yes! He's my friend! Can I not go out with a guy friend?”
“Not with him!” Adam growls. “Do you know how many people he's been with?!”
“No, and it's none of my business!” I reply as I slam on my brakes to keep from hitting a merging car. “Come on!”
I hear a shuffling on the phone and Dorian's voice coming through.
“Hang up the phone right now!” Dorian's says sternly, “I won't have this!”
“This isn't over!” Adam seethes at me. “He better stay far away from you, Nova, I swear to God…”
What the hell?! They've been sleeping together and I haven't so much as winked at Chad! We're just friends and they're acting like this! It's hypocritical! It's—
“Nova!” Bryan calls out from the backseat. “Look out!”
I look to my right and a car is careening across the intersection straight for us. They have the red light, but they're not stopping. They're going to hit us! I stamp my foot on the gas.
The engine roars and the tires squeal as we attempt to make it across the intersection. As if time was brought to a screechi
ng slow motion, the lower part of my body is jerked hard to the left. I watch as my cell phone crashes through the passenger window narrowly avoiding Chad's head.
All of a sudden, the upper half of my body catches up and I'm slammed hard against the driver's side window. The world spins as Chad quickly pulls the emergency brake to avoid hitting the car ahead of us. I'm slung forward like a rag doll as my head swiftly collides with the steering wheel.
I remember the sound of tires squealing and the door alarm chiming when the boys get out of the van. I know I tried to undo my seat belt, but Bryan kept pushing me down and shaking his head.
“Don't move, Nova!” I can hear Bryan's voice plead. “You're hurt. Don't move.”
I can't remember when it happened. It's like a reluctant nap that sneaks up on you. The darkness is all around. I can hear voices trying to talk to me. I'm trying to answer them, but I don't think they can hear me.
I'm not surprised when I wake up in the hospital. Doesn't mean I'm not freaking out, but it's calming to see Dorian there holding my hand.
“Hey,” I say hoarsely.
He releases a tense breath and kisses my hand repeatedly. “You're awake,” he sighs.
“How long have I been out?” I ask groggily. “My head is killing me.”
“It should be,” he replies angrily. “You were arguing on the phone while driving!”
“Well, there went the tender moment,” I throw back at him sarcastically. “Could you bring down the volume, please?”
“Shit,” he hisses, pulling at his hair. “I'm sorry, I should—I should get a doctor and find Adam.”
“Where is he?” I ask, looking around slowly. “Where is everyone?! Are they okay?!!”
I go to sit up, but Dorian stops me.
“Everyone is okay,” he says, pushing me gently down on the bed. “You got the worst of it. A severe concussion, multiple contusions. You cut your head on some glass and will probably feel like crap for a few weeks, but you're going to be okay.”
He takes a ragged breath and sits down beside me. I put my hand on his head and he grabs it.
“I'm so glad you're okay,” he says quietly.
When he looks at me, his eyes are on the verge of tears.
“Why are you crying?”
He pauses for a moment, taking a deep breath. He seems like he's on the verge of a breakdown.