by Maxene Novak
“Dorian?” I ask, wondering if he heard me.
“Your mom and dad are in the waiting room,” he comments, clearing his throat. “I should let them know you're awake.”
“Dorian, stop. What's going on?”
“I tried to tell him not to call you,” he states between gritted teeth. “I only went along with him today to keep him from doing something stupid, but—God, he's such a drama queen!”
“It's not his fault. I shouldn't have taken the bait…”
“He was on a rampage,” Dorian sniffs. “He was going with or without me, but while he kept calling and screaming into the phone, your mom called me. I hit him when she told me what happened. He ignored her call four times.”
“Well—” I begin, trying to hold back my tears, but Dorian quickly interrupts me.
“No!” Dorian soothes, caressing my cheek gently. “He's blaming himself. So am I, but I'm blaming you too.”
I shrug and nod my head in agreement. I shouldn't have engaged in the situation.
“He loves you, Nova,” he sighs. “So do I. Adam's just more prone to giving into emotional temptation than I am. His jealousy turns to anger, making him spontaneous and singularly driven. He's really beating himself up right now.”
I sigh and wipe at my eyes. He really does know Adam well.
“Where is he?”
“In the waiting room with your parents.”
Surprised, I ask, “In the same room?”
Dorian's lips tug into a slight smile.
“It hasn't been boring,” he replies. “I do enjoy your mother's company. She's much more free spirited than your father. He blames the band for your accident and namely Adam, which again, I don't blame him, but your mom is trying to comfort him instead. Interesting family dynamic.”
“It's functional. Sometimes. It's been better since the divorce, but they still bicker at each other like nothing's changed. I think they've been best friends for so long they don't know how to act without each other.”
“I think Adam can relate to that,” Dorian gives me a small smile.
“Even if Adam chooses to be with you,” I say quietly, “I'm still going to be his best friend.”
“You think it's about choosing?” he asks, shaking his head. “Love isn't a choice, Nova. You can't help who you love.”
“I know. That's not what I—”
“He loves you just as much as I do,” Dorian says, grabbing my hands, “as much as he does me.”
“That doesn't make things simple,” I whisper.
“Yes, it does,” he says, placing my hand against his chest. “We only love you. While I know you haven't known me long, I know—I screw things up sometimes and I'm an asshole.”
“Yeah, there's that,” I respond playfully, but his eyes silence me.
“But I honestly care about you,” he whimpers as his lip trembles, “in a way I never thought I could another person. Someone that isn'tAdam. I know we could make it work—these past couple of weeks have been the best and worst I've ever felt in my whole life. I didn't think I was capable of loving two people so much, but now that I know—I don't want to let it go.”
He rests his head on my arm and cries quietly. I reach over with my free arm and pull him close to me—the need to comfort him stronger than the pain coursing through my body. He climbs onto the bed beside me carefully and cries onto my shoulder.
I hold him, running my fingers through his long silky strands of hair. Does he think I feel nothing for him? When I'm not thinking of Adam, I'm thinking of him. He's been the level head in all of this. Attentive and sweet at times, but strong and protective.
He's the cool to Adam's hot, but sensitive in his own way. Even someone as strong as Dorian can break, I guess. I just never thought I'd be the one to break him and that thought hurts more than any physical pain. I do love Dorian, I realize as I caress his cheek, wiping away at his tears.
We fit in ways that Adam and I do not. Each of us a small piece of the puzzle. Can it really be so simple to love two people and not have to decide which I love more? Can't I just love them both the same?
“Dorian?” I ask, pulling back to look at him. I rest my head on his and kiss from his forehead down to the tip of his nose. “It's going to be okay,” I whisper against his lips, allowing my fingers to tangle in his hair.
A soft knock is heard at the door and Dorian quickly gets up to answer it. It's Adam. His eyes are downcast. I can tell that he's been crying and his left eye looks like a giant plum and his lip is busted. Did Dorian do that? Dorian pulls him inside and closes the door behind him.
“What happened to your lip?” Dorian asks in concern.
“Chad,” he mumbles and looks at me.
When he sees my eyes are open, he lunges across the room, but Dorian grabs him before he can throw himself on me.
“Don't even think about it,” Dorian states in a scolding tone. “Control yourself, please?”
Adam blushes shyly and nods his head. Their behavior makes me chuckle—painfully. They both rush to my side as I double over in pain.
“We should really get a doctor now,” Dorian remarks, moving toward the door, but I grab his hand.
“I'm fine. Just hurts to laugh.”
“Nova, I'm so sorry!” Adam exclaims, instantly in tears.
Dorian rolls his eyes and takes a seat, crossing his legs. He grabs a magazine from the table and begins flipping through it dramatically.
“Adam, just calm down,” I reply, and he shakes his head.
“I was such a jerk!” he says, sobbing into his hands. “I shouldn't have gone after Chad like that. It wasn't my place, I shouldn't have called and yelled at you…”
“It's alright.”
“The hell it is,” Dorian mutters.
“I'm okay, everyone is okay—” I continue, but Adam cuts me off.
“Not quite,” he sighs. “The guys are really… upset about this whole thing.”
“Understandably, so,” Dorian adds.
“As if there's nothing else to worry about,” I sigh. “What's the damage?”
“They don't want to work with me,” Adam admits, letting his shoulders sag. “What I did was way out of line and I almost got you all killed—they don't trust me anymore.”
“We'll fix this.”
“I don't see how,” Adam sits on the bed beside me. “But that's not what matters right now. All I want to do is take care of you. Please, forgive me?”
“Adam, best friends fight,” I respond with a shrug. “They don't always end up in accidents, but we've always been unique. It's not every day that best friends fall in love with each other…”
He stifles a laugh and squeezes my hand.
“I thought it was pretty common,” he says as Dorian gives us a sad smile.
“Yeah, but,” I reply, reaching over and taking Dorian's hand, “they don't always share that love with someone else.”
Dorian looks up at me with hope in his eyes.
“I love you, Dorian,” I confirm and quickly turn to Adam. “I love you too, Adam.”
Dorian leans over and kisses me gently.
“I love you too, beautiful,” he says with a happy smile.
“Is this how it's going to be?” Adam asks with uncertainty. “We just love each other and never figure it out?”
“I think we already have,” I take their hands. “I know you're torn, Adam, but—you don't have to be.”
“How can I not?” he asks in confusion. “We have to decide eventually…”
“Who says we have to decide?” Dorian questions, looking at him. “Love doesn't work that way. It doesn't decide to love—you decide to accept someone's flaws, but you love them because you can't help it. Why can't you love two people with the same passion you could share with only one?”
“I—I guess, I've never thought about it much. Not until recently anyway. It just…”
“Seems too simple?” I ask with a nod. “I know. The easiest answers are the hardest to
find even when it's right in your face. Usually because finding them means accepting something about yourself that other people might not be okay with.
“It's scary,” Adam takes a deep breath. “My parents…”
“Mine too and probably Dorian's,” I remind him. “Holidays might be a little awkward, but it's our lives. We have to be happy with it, not them.”
He replies with silence as if in deep thought. After several moments, he takes my and Dorian's hands.
“Do you really think we can do this?” he asks, looking between the two of us.
“With honesty, communication…” Dorian says and looks at me.
“Trust,” I emphasize, “understanding and some rules set in place…”
I look at Dorian on that note, who is being serious for once.
“Yeah, I think we've got this,” I finish when Dorian nods.
My two handsome men clasp each other’s arms, locking eyes briefly, and then look at me. Adam slowly nods his head and sighs, laying back on the bed dramatically.
“I'm so glad this is settled,” he says in relief.
“Me too,” I reply, caressing the back of his hand.
Dorian sneaks into bed beside me, gently kicking Adam off the bed.
“Move, you!” he scolds Adam playfully. “You take up the whole bed, as you always have. She's injured,for God's sake! I swear, you oafish—”
“Do you talk to each other like this all the time?” I inquire, wondering for a moment if we've made a mistake.
“Oh yeah,” Adam retorts, moving to crawl on the other side of me. “He's not being Dorian if he's not a pompous ass.”
“I think he's sweet,” I counter, looking to Dorian with my best doe-eyed expression.
I plant a kiss on each of their cheeks as they settle in beside me. We exchange sweet kisses between each other and they take turns kissing my face gently. It's so loving and perfectly tender. I feel whole and warm. I almost drift off to sleep until a thought occurred to me.
“So,” I say innocently, “who wants to fetch my parents?”
“I will,” Adam responds hesitantly.
Dorian nods and focuses his attention back to me when Adam leaves.
“Do you want me to go?” he asks as I play with his hair.
“No!” I pull him tighter to me.
“I mean, I don't think now is the best time to out ourselves to your family,” he says, and I arch my eyebrows at the thought.
“Could be entertaining,” I reply and he sits up.
“Not a very good first impression,” he kisses me quickly.
“You're no fun,” I pout and he winks.
“I'm a gentleman,” he quickly fixes his appearance. “I want them to come to know me properly. Not in a time of near tragedy.”
“I was T-Boned at an intersection,” I reply, rolling my eyes. “Hardly a near death experience.”
“You don't know how hard you were hit, do you?” he asks, looking into my eyes. “Guy was going seventy to make the light. He slammed on his brakes when you pulled out in front of him, but—if your decrepit dinosaur of a van were anything but what it is—it could have been much more serious.”
“No wonder I got knocked out. Did the driver make it?”
“Yes,” Dorian sneers. “He was running late for some book signing. Can you believe it? Almost kill four people because your book needs signed by some—”
“Hey,” I interrupt, grabbing his hand, “I'm okay. It doesn't matter anymore.”
“He's lucky I don't put him back in here,” Dorian continues. “Not a mark on him, but a small scratch on his forehead and look at you! Careless twit needs a—”
“Dorian!” I say it loudly to get his attention. “It's fine, please. You're talking too fast for me to keep up.”
He peers into my eyes in concern.
“I'm sorry,” he answers quietly. “Are you feeling alright?”
“Yeah, just…” I close my eyes. “You start talking so fast I can't really understand you.”
“Well, you hit your head pretty hard. Doctor said there might be some cognitive issues.”
“It's just…” I try to find the right word to explain what I want to say. “…a little garbled is all.”'
He nods his head as the door opens and my parents walk in. Mom immediately hugs me, making me cringe in pain.
“Be careful, Mrs. Pierce!” Dorian comments more forcefully than I think he intended. “She's banged up pretty bad.”
“Oh, I'm sorry!” Mom exclaims, instantly pulling back.
“Just—careful,” Dorian sighs as Mom takes my hands instead.
“She's always like that,” Dad says to him, unable to deny the fact that he has a thick accent. “Can't stop and think about our daughter being hurt. She just jumps on top of her after a wreck like she's invincible!”
“I said I was sorry!” Mom responds loudly, making my head throb.
“Audrey, would you shut up!” Dad hisses. “She hit her head, for mercy's sake! Give her some breathing room, come on!”
“I'm allowed to be concerned for my daughter!” Mom replies dramatically. “I'm sorry, dear.”
Dad rolls his eyes, throwing his hands up in exasperation. “H-How are ya, Princess?” Dad asks sheepishly. “Can I get ya anything?”
“No, Daddy. I'm okay.”
“That's my girl.” He bumps Mom aside to give me a brief kiss on the cheek. “Ya always were tough. Who needs a son, huh?”
“I love you too, Dad,” I reply, rolling my eyes.
That's my father for you. At least I know he's proud of who I am.
“You've already got a son!” Mom scolds him when she looks over her shoulder at Adam. “I know they were fighting, Marty, but it could have happened to anyone.”
“Yeah, well, it shouldn't have happened to my little girl,” Dad scoffs. “I thought I could trust you, Adam. You act like all the rest of ‘em!”
“Daddy, don't,” I say, squeezing his hand. “It's not Adam's fault—”
“Not all—his fault,” Dorian corrects me, giving Adam another glare.
“Okay,” I sigh, correcting myself. “It was my fault too. I shouldn't have been on the phone to begin with.”
“I agree with that,” Dad admits begrudgingly and sighs, sticking his hand out to Adam. “No more fighting, yous two!” He pokes Adam in the chest and points to me. “Ya not kids no more! If I have to break up one more argument between yous, I'm going to crack some skulls!”
“Marty!” Mom scolds and jerks her head in my direction.
“I'll crack your skull,” Dad corrects himself, poking at Adam again. “My little girl is precious. To be treated as a rare diamond, capiche?”
Adam looks at Dad anxiously and nods his head.
“I believe what Adam means to say is yes, sir,” Dorian adds smoothly, reaching over to shake Dad's index finger. “I am Dorian James, such a pleasure to finally meet you, Mr. Pierce.”
“Who's you?” Dad asks after looking at him for a moment in confusion.
“That would be my manager,” I tell him and Dad cocks his head. “Music. I'm in a band, remember?”
“Oh, yeah!” Dad nods his head, and shakes Dorian's hand properly. “You got a manager now? That's pretty big stuff! Why didn't you tell me, Nov?”
I just shrug.
“I didn't think you'd approve,” I reply quietly.
“Hey!” Dad admonishes, tapping my foot gently. “Just because I want my daughter to have something to fall back on doesn't mean I won't be proud of you in anything ya want to do. I want better for you than I had, kid. If music is what gets ya there—I want to be in the front row at ya first sold out concert.”
“You'd get hurt,” Adam scoffs, receiving a glare from Dad.
“I can still hang with the cool kids,” he argues, pointing to himself. “What else haven't yous two told me lately?”
I look at Dorian who's grinning coyly at the look of panic in my eyes. He and Adam share a look and nod their heads.
“You'll be their next big hit,” Mom squeals quietly in delight. “I thought I told you, Marty?”
“Please, yous don't tell me anything anymore,” Dad criticizes, rolling his eyes.
“I do too!” she retorts, turning to scold him. “It's not my fault you don't listen to anything but horse races!”
“Ha!” Dad laughs. “Ha, ha! This is what I put up with for thirty-two years—”
“Mr. and Mrs. Pierce, please,” Dorian interrupts him.
“It's Ms. Pierce, dear,” Mom corrects him, patting his hand. “Feel free to call me Audrey.”
Mom gives him a flirtatious wink and Dorian kind of gapes.
“Right,” Dorian replies, shaking his head. “Mr. and Ms. Pierce, I think Nova has had enough excitement for today. She needs to rest.”
“Sorry, Pumpkin,” Dad says, leaning over to kiss my forehead gently. “We'll go, I just wanted to make sure ya mom didn't go all crazy on you.”
I smile and shake my head at him while Mom crosses her arms in irritation.
“Are you done, Marty?” Mom asks, and I open up my arms to her.
She leans in gently, letting me hug her properly this time. I squeeze them both as tightly as I comfortably can.
“I love you,” I say when I let them go.
“We love you too, sweetheart,” Dad responds while Mom nods, tapping my leg gently.
“I'm going to speak with the doctor, Marty, if you care to join me?” Mom gives him a look.
“Of course I'm going to check on my daughter,” Dad replies, rolling his eyes and shaking his hands as if praying for patience. “Yous two look after my angel.” Dad points at the only two men remaining in the room.
“Yes, sir,” Dorian gives me a private smirk. “I'll take very good care of her.”
When my parents leave the room, we all take a deep breath in relief.
“I thought security was going to become an option,” Dorian mumbles. “They're delightful.”
“They're mine.” I shrug. “It's always been like this.”
“Is he Italian?” Dorian asks, quirking an eyebrow.
“New Jersey,” Adam comments and I reply with a nod.