Here's My Heart

by Maxene Novak

  “Chad Grover!” she scolds as her son jumps around in the back of the truck. “Get down off that truck and act like a human being! This is your place of employment!”

  Some bystanders stare as she continues to discipline Chad publicly.

  “What?!” she asks the crowd. “Show's over, people! Keep it moving or I start charging! This isn't a side show!”

  She continues ushering people inside the night club, disappearing with the crowd. I walk over to the truck and Chad pounds on the roof.

  “Let's get a move on!” Adam opens the door for me. “I want to shred!”

  “Are we really all good?” I ask and Chad shares a look with Adam.

  “Yeah,” he says, bumping fists with Adam. “Bros before… babes—I wasn't going to call her a hoe!”

  Adam pretends to be brain dead.

  “You're totally a babe, Nov,” Chad stammers. “Not even a babe! You're one of the bros! You're like my sister, really…”

  “Calm down, Chad,” I shake my head. “Before I have to knock you out again.”

  “What?!” he jokes. “Please, that wasn't a knock out.”

  “What was it?” Adam chimes in. “A nap?”

  “It was a haymaker, that's for sure,” he says, touching his forehead gently. “Ow!”

  “Let's go home,” I wince at the goose egg that's already starting to show. “We should get some ice on that.”

  “Yes,” Adam comments, ushering me into the truck. “After we get you checked out at the hospital.”

  “Seriously?!” I exclaim as he shuts the truck door in my face. I sit back in the truck with a huff. “I just got out of there! I'm fine!”

  “Take a look at your face,” he pulls down the visor mirror.

  “Oh shit!” I laugh at the impressive shiner I'm sporting. “Dorian's going to kill you.”

  “Me!?” he asks, putting the vehicle in drive. “You're the one that stepped in the way!”

  “But he left me in your care,” I remark, but his face is obviously stressed. “Hey, I'm just playing.”

  “I'm such a screw up,” he mumbles and I grab his arm.

  “No, you're not! It was actually kind of fun. I haven't thrown down in a while—in the street no less! I feel like such a bad ass!”

  “We're lucky the cops weren't called,” Adam points out, turning the corner. “This is going to be all over the internet.”

  “Calm down,” I say as he rounds the corner. “It's going to be fine.”

  All of a sudden, my phone rings. Before I can even speak into the phone, I hear Dorian's voice demanding an explanation. Damn social media. Can't even punch someone in the face without the whole world hearing about it. I did kind of ask for it though. Oh well.

  I sigh as he rants, mostly in concern for me. I can see the hospital from the passenger window and I know it's exactly where Adam is taking me. It doesn't matter though. We're all together again and we're going to blow Century away.

  Chapter Twelve

  The moment is coming. Just two more days. I wake up with Dorian curled in close to me with his arm draped across my stomach. Adam has his hand on top of Dorian's, both of them stroking small circles over each other’s fingers while they sleep.

  I glance at the clock. Wow, it's nine a.m. I haven't been up this early in a long time. My face is sore, but my headache from last night is gone. A fractured cheekbone, like Chad's mother said, luckily no further head trauma. Man, Dorian was pissed.

  The videos on social media got the band quite the attention. A little bad but mostly good. I guess people like to see a band that can punch each other in the face and go home friends. A lot of people were commending me for how I took the punch. It's like I'm a crazy bad ass now.

  Dorian rolls over and kisses my cheek, sending pleasant butterflies through my chest. I'm crazy about him. He's actually very sweet behind closed doors—if not a little smart ass, but he's mine; and then there's Adam—attentive and playful. Both of them fit my every need and desire. Where Dorian may not be extremely forward with emotions, he pays close attention to mine, and Adam usually knows how to fix my every bad mood.

  They're my perfect match. Who says that you only have one soul mate? I mean, you can have more than one best friend. It's like socks; yeah, there are pairs, but a different sock can fit the other just as well, if not better. Maybe the stitching was just slightly different on this random similar sock and it fits you even better than the actual match, but the actual match fits the other foot perfectly.

  Am I really comparing love to socks? The things that go through my brain in the morning. Adam kisses my neck as I kiss Dorian good morning. I reach back and run my fingers through Adam's hair, pulling him closer.

  “Morning,” he says, pressing a kiss just beneath my ear.

  “Good morning,” I say to him and Dorian.

  Dorian just groans, cuddling into my chest.

  “We should get up,” I murmur softy in his ear.

  He groans a bit louder as I feel Adam climb out of bed. I run my fingers through Dorian's long sandy hair and press feather light kisses down his jaw. Finally, his eyes peek open. It's always a breathtaking sight. His eyes couldn't be any bluer.

  “Morning, beautiful,” his voice is deep and breathy.

  “Was that to me or are you looking behind me in the mirror?” I ask, poking him in the ribs playfully.

  “Definitely you,” he rolls onto his back.

  “Even with this ugly shiner?” I ask as he carefully tucks my hair behind my ear.

  “Especially with that,” he gently kisses my bruised temple.

  I lean over and kiss his lips.

  “Good answer,” I reply, quickly nipping his lip and climbing out of bed.

  “Hey,” he utters, grabbing my hand, “where are you going?”

  He gives me a coy smile and I climb on top of him, straddling his waist.

  “Much better,” he says as I run my hands up his stomach.

  I feel his lower extremity press against me, making my blood burn.

  “Having fun without me?” Adam asks, coming back into the room.

  “Come here,” Dorian says, leaning up to kiss me briefly.

  I climb off of him and let Adam get his morning kisses in, but soon enough he looks at me and gestures me to come to him. I grab Adam for balance and he gives me a searing kiss as he moves further up Dorian's waist so I can settle behind him. I feel Dorian squirm beneath me as Adam's knees tickle his sides.

  “Someone's ticklish,” I realize, peering over Adam's shoulder.

  “I am not,” Dorian replies as if offended.

  I wrap my arms around Adam's waist and kiss his shoulder, even though he immediately talks I feel the intake of breath he takes at the intimate touch.

  “You're in a bad position to argue,” Adam responds, tapping Dorian's chest before he slowly strokes his index finger down the outline of his abs.

  “I'd say I'm in the best position possible,” Dorian replies, lifting his hips to press against mine.

  Adam takes a deep breath and shakes his head.

  “We really shouldn't.” Though Dorian's hands start caress his thighs, he stifles a moan and utters, “Nova's hurt.”

  I push my hands further down his waist and up his shirt, making his breath hitch.

  “I'm fine,” I whisper in his ear, then gently nip his earlobe.

  He barely suppresses a moan as my hands slip beneath the waistband of his shorts. I take him into my hand and stroke him gently while I press slow meaningful kisses against his neck. Dorian's hands grip my hips as he slowly starts pressing himself harder against me.

  I watch as he pulls Adam's shorts down further. He leans forward and flicks his tongue against Adam's sensitive tip then pulls him into his mouth. Watching them touch each other fuels every nerve in my body. It's so intimate and passionate.

  With Adam occupied, I release him and quickly undress. Dorian squirms when I pull his shorts off and climb on top of him. This time when I straddle his hip
s, I place him inside of me. He moans hard around Adam's shaft as he thrusts deep and hard.

  I reach around Adam, caressing his body while Dorian continues pleasing him. It's so sexy feeling Dorian's tongue taste my fingers while he sucks and licks Adam almost tauntingly.

  The pace quickly picks up as Adam begins thrusting faster into Dorian's mouth and against my hand. I grind against Dorian, pushing him deeper inside as his breathing quickens.

  The feel of both of their skin against mine, sends all sorts of sensations through me, fueling my intensity.

  Soon I feel Adam's body shake as he releases in Dorian's mouth, groaning breathlessly when Dorian doesn't stop.

  I am quick to follow when Adam hooks my knees and pulls me down hard on Dorian's hips, thrusting him deeper at just the right moment. Dorian groans and begins pumping his hips harder and faster.

  I clutch Adam tight to me as my body explodes in pleasure. Finally, Dorian releases and collapses back on the bed as Adam covers his lips in sweet kisses. I land beside them, curling up to Dorian's side.

  “Best wake up ever!” Dorian sighs, stretching his arms out.

  I rest my head on his arm and he lightly traces my bicep. Adam lays on top of him with his head on his chest. Yes, this is perfect. It feels more right than anything I've ever felt before.

  We lay in bed for a while just enjoying each other’s company. This is new to me. I've never really had this with anyone before. I never really thought settling down would ever be ideal for me, but this—this is right. I am content.

  Eventually, we get out of bed and shower—also together. Dorian would insist we're preserving water, but with all the touching that we do, we were probably better off showering separately. I'm going to miss this. We're going to be very busy soon and I don't know if we'll get to have mornings like this. Especially, if we get signed to a record deal.

  Dorian seems to believe we have it in the bag, but I'm not so sure. I'm trying not to get my hopes up so I won't be disappointed if this falls through, but there's no giving that advice to the guys. They're hell bent on this succeeding and well, so am I.

  We practice for the next couple of days as if we were never going to play again. Dorian's cousin is finally in town and he's been with him a lot, setting up the last details before our show.

  While I miss him, his absence is also a good thing. The band and I have a surprise for him. A new song. I just hope he likes it or I'm going to feel terrible. If it weren't for him, I don't know if the band would have pulled together like we did. We're stronger now.

  It feels like we've bonded on a whole new level. Our chemistry while performing has definitely improved and is far more energetic. I guess we just needed to blow off some steam. Maybe we should punch each other in the face every now and then. Make it a tradition of some sort.

  Regardless, we've rehearsed every song to near perfection and even tweaked a few to include more sounds or backing vocals. The set list we put together should bring the house down. I just hope I'm not so sore, but whatever.

  I didn't get this far just to let a few cuts and bruises stop me. This is my time and I won't be held back. I know I'm going to feel the repercussions later, but it will be worth it in the end. Just keep pushing. Keep moving and we'll get through this.

  Finally, the day has come. We're gathered at the pool house together. I expected everyone to be full of energy and hard to calm down, but everyone is quiet. I think we're all on the same level now. It's really happening and there's no turning back now.

  “Why's everybody so down?!” Dorian questions, clapping his hands to snap us to attention. “Big day! High energy!”

  “I think we're all just kind of accepting reality at the moment,” Bryan acknowledges, nodding his head. “What if I forget my notes?”

  “You're not going to forget your notes,” I reassure him. “You know what this is. It's performance anxiety. Everyone goes through it, Bryan. It's perfectly normal and you'll get through it. It'll all come naturally, like instinct.”

  The guys all stop and give me a strange look.

  “Performance anxiety?” Chad asks, cocking his head.

  “What?” I look around self-consciously. “It's true! You guys made it dirty! Geez!”

  They all kind of chuckle quietly as Dorian opens the door.

  “If enthusiasm won't cheer you up, I know what will,” he gestures outside. “If you'll all follow me, please?”

  We look at each other in confusion, but do as he asks. He walks out to the sidewalk.

  “What are we doing?” I ask when he stops in front of a large covered object.

  “Waiting for Chad to put his phone away,” he responds dully, giving Chad a glare.

  “Oh, my bad,” he replies, quickly putting the phone in his pocket.

  “Lady…” Dorian gives me a sweet smile, “…and gentlemen. I present to you…”

  He pulls the tarp off the object and I gasp.

  “The Nova Rovah!” he croons, tapping at the beautiful touring van.

  It's jet black with a door on each side for easy entry. It easily seats all five of us, six, if Dorian would go on the road with us. It's got our logo emblazoned on the side with Nova Rose in beautiful graffiti letters.

  “It's perfect!” I exclaim and the guys all join me in awe, “H- How?!”

  “A good manager makes sure his band has everything they need,” he replies, dangling the keys in my face. “I figure, if we're going to do this right, might as well do it in style.”

  “Dorian,” I say quietly, “we can't accept this.”

  “Yes, you can,” he insists in a hushed voice. “This van—it's nothing compared to what you're going to have, Nova. I believe in you guys, I believe in you. You deserve this—all of you. Besides, I have to catch up to Adam somehow. He's had years to give you stuff…”

  I jump up and give him a quick, but lingering kiss.

  “You know it's not a competition, right?” I ask, hugging him tightly.

  “I know,” he replies when I let go. “Still—the look on your face—totally worth it.”

  Adam jumps onto his back and kisses his cheek soundly. Dorian laughs loudly as Adam rides around on his back as they walk around to the front of the van.

  “Hey, Nova!” Dorian remarks tossing me the keys. “Why don't you do the honor?”

  I quickly catch the keys and dive into the van, making my way to the driver's seat. I put the key in the ignition and turn the switch. The engine comes to life, purring like a newborn kitten—not like my old van. It sounded like a dragon on steroids.

  The guys all cheer as I rev the gas a bit. I smile as my eyes settle on Dorian and Adam. They're both looking at me with so much love in their eyes its breathtaking. I pull my phone out of my pocket and zoom in on them. Adam is still attached to Dorian's back with his arms around his neck. I snap the photo and shut off the van.

  “Alright. This is it. It's all in place.”

  I climb out of the van and the guys kind of gather around me as we check out our new ride.

  “I think we're ready,” I say to no one in particular.

  “Yeah,” Chad responds, putting a friendly arm on my shoulder. “Yeah, we are.”

  “Totally,” Bryan chimes in.

  “Definitely,” Kyle echoes.

  There's a small moment of silence. I half expect Dorian or Adam to chip in, but then the silence is broken.

  “Are you sure we have everything packed?” Adam checks, making everyone groan.

  “Dude, yes!” Chad retorts, prying him from Dorian's back. “I'm going to throttle you!”

  “Buzz kill,” Kyle mumbles, shaking his head.

  Bryan slaps Adam in the back of the head as they all file back inside to pack up our gear. Everything else kind of happens in a blur.

  When we reach Reggie’s, cheers erupt as they see the new van. We park in our usual spot and we're greeted as soon as we open the doors. We take a few minutes for pictures as Dorian goes to speak with Lisa for any updates. When h
e comes back, he's rubbing his hands together and taking a deep breath.

  “Your manager is amazing. I couldn't have done it better.”

  “What do you mean?” I ask and he grins.

  “She's putting this on like you're a professional head liner,” he replies, grabbing a guitar case and handing it to Chad. “You've got two bands ahead of you. I think you'll be pleased.”

  “Hey, Nova!” a voice calls from behind me.

  “Bruce?” I ask when I see his face. “I'm so glad you're here!”

  Bruce walks over and gives me a big hug.

  “Thank you all for the opportunity!” he responds, chuckling with a bright smile. “It's pretty big! Nice eye—that looks awful!”

  “Did you see the video?” I ask and he nods, grimacing

  “I can't believe you're here tonight,” he laughs. “You're a bad ass.”

  “I try,” I shrug. “Anyway, you have an amazing band. You guys deserve this opportunity.”

  “Thanks, Nova!” he replies with a blush. “That means a lot coming from you. You guys are going to be signed. I know it. We're going to make sure the crowd is pumped for you!”

  “Awesome!” I shake his hand. “Call me if you want to do a number, yeah?”

  “Hell, yeah! Remember the lyrics?”

  “All up here,” I tap my tender noggin with my index finger.

  “It's on!” he responds, walking away. “Show starts in half an hour!”

  “See you then!” I call after him.

  I'm going to put myself out there tonight. I want to show these record executives exactly what I'm capable of. They're going to see a supernova on stage tonight. We get our gear inside and set the merch table up.

  We mingle with the bands backstage. Adam keeps me sipping on warm tea and water through the first band's set. I start getting my makeup ready. It's not like I ever go all out on the makeup, but I want to look my best tonight. Lisa walks up behind me and puts her hand on my shoulder.

  “Your parents are in the front row,” she tells me while pulling my hair back.

  “Thank you, Lisa. You're the best manager I could ever ask for.”

  “I don't know,” she squeezes my shoulders. “That hunk Dorian sure is a looker.”