His kids giggled.
Blinking, I said, “Yeah, I’m fine. Just thinking how in some ways Kasala has become what I had wanted Denu Creek to be when I first came home from the war.”
I hoped Lasha approved.
Nason furrowed his brow. “And that surprises you?”
“Well, a little.”
He shook his head and let out a dumbfounded laugh. “Ava was right. It’s amazing how little of a clue you have sometimes.”
My sister’s name gave my heart a tug, but I forced myself not to dwell on it. “What do you mean?”
“For someone as smart and observant as you are, you often miss the obvious good things in life, especially when it relates to you. This group of people began heading down that direction of closeness a long time ago. And that’s all because of you, Tyrus.”
“I can’t take all the credit. I’m just trying keep everyone’s head above water and make sure things get done.”
“You do more than that,” said Nason. “Far more.”
An arm slipped into mine. Damaris was at my other side. “He’s right. It’s not just the things you have people doing. It’s the way you treat people. Your work ethic. The way you always try to do the right thing. For everyone. Even if it is to the detriment of yourself.”
She squeezed my arm at her last statement and it didn’t take a genius to understand what she was getting at. I wondered if Myra had already spoken to her about my episode at Sinsca. But Damaris didn’t press, so I left well enough alone.
“Best speech you ever made, Ty. Short and sweet!” shouted Ira, chuckling as he walked past with another horse.
His jest knocked me from my considerations. I looked for Reuma, hoping to see her smack him for the comment. Instead, she grinned a few steps behind him. For some reason, her grin caused me to do the same. With Damaris at my side, my smile stayed with me all the way to the stables.
The town didn’t gather as a whole that night for dinner, but many met outside the southern outskirts to take our meals before a large fire.
We talked mainly about inconsequential things, sharing laughs, and picking at one another. It was one of the best nights I had in recent memory.
The night wasn’t all light-hearted though. Despite Damaris’s urging to relax, I couldn’t wait until the next day to get an update on the fields.
Udo had done well in my absence, accomplishing more than I had expected. I told him as much, loud enough for all to hear without making it obvious. Nia puffed at my compliment, flicking a dare at her mother to speak ill of her son-in-law after that. Thankfully, Ayodele refrained. Either she had finally begun to respect Udo, or decided that her criticism was best kept to herself.
Nason and Udo had apparently grown close in just the few short days since I left. They talked most of the night with an easiness that usually came from working closely beside an individual. I thought of what Ava had told me of Nason’s contributions after I had to leave them at the outpost and join Balak’s army. The role he undertook in supporting her then seemed to mirror the one he had taken with Udo.
Nason never wanted to be the one making decisions, but he had a knack for helping those who did. Ava had often been the same. Considering my struggles, I wished I had her support more than ever.
Reuma also provided a quick report about the general state of Kasala while I was away. A couple known troublemakers had tested her authority early on, but she put a stop to their efforts with a deftness of skill that left no doubt I had placed the right person in charge.
The most disheartening bit of news came at the end of her report. Two days after we left, a scout spotted tracks a mile northeast of the city. Ira investigated and concluded they came from a group of five on horseback.
“Those that poisoned the fields?” I asked.
Obviously frustrated, Ira shook his head. “I thought so at first, but the tracks ended before reaching the fields. The breed of mounts were different. Heavier.”
“Paki might have another sorcerer. If so, the tracks could be harder to read.”
I suppressed a shiver while remembering the light that had spread over me from the sorcerer’s attack. Memories from the war crept into my mind. I reached for my water skin and took a long drink, feigning a dry throat.
“I don’t think so,” Ira answered. “I’ve seen Ava cover our trails for years. I could tell if someone tried to as she would.” He paused. “A dozen of us followed the trail, but we stopped a few miles out at Reuma’s orders.” He seemed perturbed by that. “The trail hadn’t turned toward Sinsca yet, but I guess it could have eventually.”
“Raiders then?”
“Or someone from another town. Didn’t the council mention there were a couple others recently resettled like us?”
“Yeah, but they’re farther away than Sinsca. Seems odd they’d come all this way in secret.”
“Not if Paki had already contacted them and convinced them we were a threat,” said Reuma, head tilted with a look of skepticism.
That was possible. If so, Paki was maybe an even greater threat than I had given him credit for. And if that was the case, I was glad I had opted to make a show of our strength. Maybe it, and Myra’s performance, was enough to deter any future aggression on his part.
Of course, based on what I read earlier from the Speaker’s letter, he might not have been the aggressor at all.
But until I figured it out, I had to be prepared for anything.
The Speaker had told Galya when they last met that he would send word to other towns that we should be treated with respect. But with all on the council’s mind, who knows if they ever had. Or, how the messages were received.
Such feelings made me wonder if I had erred in allowing Chadar and Galya to re-establish trade routes before first forming a strong network of allies in the Southern Kingdoms. It was sad that such thoughts even crossed my mind when we were all supposed to be on the same side.
One thought led to another, and I worried more about Chadar’s and Galya’s safety. They wouldn’t provide a specific date to expect their return. They didn’t want to be pressured to rush any negotiations. Still, if I didn’t hear from them in the next couple weeks, I’d need to consider sending at least a squad after them.
Ira cleared his throat purposefully. He and Reuma gave me odd looks which in turn drew the attention of my kids and Damaris. I realized that every pause or faraway look that once would have been normal brought up questions about my mental stability.
Thankfully, at present my thoughts were my own. I shifted, feeling the small vial from Dar in the pouch at my waist. Maybe it had all to do with the potion, but I didn’t care.
“Here’s what we need to do,” I began, trying not to notice the looks of relief on everyone’s faces. “Reuma, double our scouts and triple the distance they cover.”
She nodded.
“Ira, I want you to take turns going out with each and every one of those scouts Coach them more on what to look for and what to infer. Teach them every trick you know and make sure they understand when to investigate further and when to pull back and report before risking themselves. Do you think you’ll be alright taking care of that?”
Ira frowned slightly. I didn’t mean to put him on the spot, but I didn’t want to do anything that might jeopardize his progress over the last few weeks either. I think he understood what I was getting at, but at the same time, I saw the hurt from me asking.
“I got it, Ty.”
Addressing both Reuma and Myra, I added, “Push for faster progress on the other towers. Also, have the town drill every day rather than just a couple times a week. After dealing with Paki, and now potentially another threat, we need to be ready to act without warning.”
“I’ll work out a new schedule,” offered Myra.
“Reuma, select twenty of your best men tomorrow for a special mission.”
>
“Yes, sir. What did you have in mind?”
“Word is going to spread about what happened between us and Sinsca. We should explain our side of the confrontation before Paki pins us as the bad guys. We know where the next two closest settlements are. I want to send two groups out to make contact with them. I made a mistake in not doing that sooner.”
I balled my hands into fists when thinking about my carelessness. Hadn’t I learned anything from the crap we faced in Damanhur and other towns we passed through when returning home from the Geneshan War? Was my carelessness due to my daily struggles?
I added. “Making contact now will probably seem suspicious. It’s possible that Paki has already poisoned the minds of other towns with his nonsense. Still, it would be worse to do nothing.”
“With Chadar and Galya gone, who are you sending out with these groups, Pa?” asked Zadok.
I caught his meaning and was proud he had thought of that. If Paki had such a poor reaction to Chadar and Galya, how much worse would it be to have a foreigner speak on our behalf?
“I haven’t figured that piece out. But good job in recognizing that.”
Zadok sat up straighter. He tried to keep his face neutral, but it was hard for him not to beam. The father in me wondered at that. When I first returned home from Denu Creek, he and I had bonded more quickly while Myra pushed me away. However, after Myra and I made peace, the bond I shared with her had grown strong.
Did Zadok feel left out by what Myra and I shared? Since arriving in Kasala, I had not spent nearly the amount of time with him as I had on the road south. I made a mental note to correct that.
After a few closing remarks, I pulled Udo aside.
“What’s your relationship like with the other families of the Southern Kingdoms?”
“You mean our natural citizens?”
“Yes.”
“Good, I think. I didn’t know any of them before coming to Kasala, but I speak with most of them now fairly regularly.” He paused and seemed almost apologetic as he continued. “Several come to me for advice on problems they’re having. I have no idea why they feel I’m the best to help them.”
“You’re in a position of authority now. And there’s comfort in seeking out advice from those whom they share experiences with. I need two representatives from the Southern Kingdoms, one to accompany each of two groups I’m sending out to clear up any lies Paki might have spread about us to Ekarta and Lalara.”
“I can go,” he offered.
That surprised me. He hadn’t seemed like the sort of man to take on such a dangerous undertaking before. But then again, he had changed quite a lot since that night I took a gamble on him in the dinner line.
“I appreciate the offer, but I need you in the fields.”
He frowned. “I assumed you would take that over again.”
“No. While I send out those two groups, I’m going to Batna personally to speak with the council again. They need to know what happened between us and Sinsca. Especially since it is almost certain we’ll miss our first harvest now.”
“Nason could take the fields over while I’m gone.”
“He could, but I’d rather him not. You’re doing a great job and we’ve had enough upheaval lately. Better to keep some consistency in handing out orders.”
I sensed some relief as I countered his suggestion. He may have offered to go, but I don’t think he really wanted to.
Udo rubbed his jaw. The callouses on his palms scraped against the low stubble. “I think I know a couple who might be able to help you.”
“Can you start talking to people and give me an answer by tomorrow morning? I’d like the groups to leave by tomorrow afternoon.”
“I’ll talk to them now.”
CHAPTER 36
I woke refreshed, sitting up quickly and ready to seize the day. Immediately, my mind began organizing all that I wanted to get done before I left for Batna. It wasn’t until I finished emptying my bladder in the corner chamber pot that I realized how differently I felt. I had not woken once during the night and had no memory of any dream, let alone a haunting one from my past. My heart started racing.
For a moment, I worried that something had triggered a memory. I braced myself, but then it dawned on me that the sudden racing of my heart was not the result of anxiety, but excitement at finding something that would help me control my mind.
The last time I recalled feeling this thrilled about anything was when Balak first discharged me from the army. Then, I couldn’t wait to get home to my family. My Lasha.
The thought of my wife and the grief from losing her caused my excitement to wane. The sorrow from her passing was not as strong as usual, but it did linger.
Aware of where that sorrow might take me, I walked to my bedside and retrieved the water skin resting on the small, side table. Unscrewing the cap, I took a long pull of Dar’s concoction.
Minutes later I had cleaned up and dressed for the day. I moved to my bedroom door, hand stopping inches from the knob as a light knock sounded.
“Good morning,” I said, opening the door.
My kids stood outside, both jumping at my quick response. Myra hadn’t fully lowered her hand yet from knocking. They both wore peculiar looks.
I furrowed my brow. “Everything all right?”
“Did you just say ‘good morning?’” asked Myra.
“Is there something wrong with that?”
“Only that you hate mornings. I’ve never heard you refer to them positively in any way. Certainly not good,” said Zadok.
“And the tone of your voice . . . You never sound this awake before breakfast,” said Myra.
“Amazing what a good night of sleep will do.”
“And Pa,” added Zadok. “It sounded like you were whistling in there.”
My lips pressed into a thin line, and I let out a grunt. “Was I? Huh. I didn’t even realize it.”
Without prompting, Myra put her hand against the side of my face, then my forehead. Her touch was cool and gentle. I didn’t pull away. I smiled.
“Gods, he’s smiling too,” said Zadok.
“But he’s not running a fever,” Myra said as she lowered her hand.
“Good grief. What’s wrong with smiling?” I chuckled.
“If it was anyone else, nothing. But you don’t smile very often. Not like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like you’re happy to be alive. Eager to face the day,” she answered.
I bobbed my head in understanding. My struggles had made me a bitter man, not the sort of person I wanted to be. Casually, I adjusted the water skin strap flung over my shoulder. That wouldn’t be the case any longer. If I continued to keep my past behind me, I could live in the present and actually enjoy planning for my future. I could enjoy my kids growing and maturing without having to worry about falling apart.
Molak-be-damned, was this what it felt like to be normal?
I spoke softly, “I’m sorry that concept is such a surprise. But yes, I am happy to be alive.”
Myra cleared her throat. “I take it you didn’t dream last night?”
“Nope. I guess I’m on the mend.”
She frowned. “You don’t really think that you’re fine now, I hope? One restful night doesn’t mean it’s over.”
Exchanging glances with her and Zadok, I thought on what she had said to me while traveling. About how important it was to open up to them.
“No, I don’t. But I am optimistic.” I gave a wink to Zadok. “And if I’ve hit a turning point, shouldn’t I enjoy it?”
“Of course, but . . .”
Myra’s voice faded into uncertainty.
Zadok picked up her thought. “Myra said you still think you can get better on your own. We decided that if you really think that then we want to at least know just how y
ou plan to do it.”
I started to open my mouth, but Myra cut back in. “And we want to know before you leave the house today.”
“Well, I thought I would take your advice and open up as you suggested.”
Some anyway, I added to myself. I still refused to tell them everything, but I did owe them something to ease their minds. I only came to that conclusion as we stood there in my doorway. In part, I knew I reached that conclusion because of the potion I had consumed. Without it, even a brief recounting of events could have led me into a hell I didn’t want to revisit. But so long as I didn’t delve too deep into a single memory, I felt I’d be all right with the potion’s aid.
A tear ran down Myra’s face. She leaned in and hugged me. “Thank you.”
We separated, but I kept an arm around her and slung another over Zadok as I led them to the stairs. “I think the kitchen table is a much better place to talk than the doorway.”
Over breakfast, I spoke to them in general terms about what it felt like when being overcome by a past memory, about how even the smells seemed so real at times.
Myra asked. “Has discussing this brought on any episodes?”
“No.”
“Then maybe we should stop for now. I’m happy you’re trusting us and doing so well today, but I don’t want you to push things too quickly either.”
I agreed. Though I had experienced no flashbacks, my mood had dampened.
“Probably need to get to work anyway,” I said.
Zadok said, “We still have a few minutes. Tell us another story about your parents first.”
My smile from earlier returned. “Anything in particular?”
“What was grandma’s favorite color?”
I almost chuckled at the silliness of the question, but stopped when I saw how serious he was. He never knew her so I understood that even a simple question could become extremely important to him.
“Yellow.”
“Really? I didn’t think anyone liked yellow.”
“Oh, she loved it.”
Forever Soldiers: The Tyrus Chronicle - Book Four Page 29