Forever Soldiers: The Tyrus Chronicle - Book Four

by Joshua P. Simon

  My chest clenched. I loved her and having heard about her struggles made me want to wrap my arms around her to protect her from ever being hurt again.

  I leaned over and kissed her. She responded immediately, taking her hands from mine and wrapping them around my neck. Our lips parted, but only for a moment. They met again and we explored each other’s mouths carefully, slowly. Her body shuddered. My breath caught in my throat.

  Apparently, I had regained more strength than I realized.

  Memories of Lasha then flooded my mind, and worse still, so did the disappointment on her face from my recent nightmares. I pulled away.

  Damaris asked, “What’s wrong?”

  “I . . . it’s hard to explain.”

  “Lasha?”

  I nodded, looking away ashamed, unable to meet her eyes in embarrassment.

  She sat back in her chair. I glanced over and saw the hurt on her face.

  “I’m so sorry,” I said. “I just—”

  “What are you keeping from me?” she whispered.

  I didn’t have to ask what she meant. I had opened up to her a great deal about the war, covering many things I hadn’t shared in the same level of detail with anyone. But with Lasha, I hadn’t said nearly as much.

  “I don’t know if I can. It’s different.”

  “I know. I trusted you just now. Give me that same trust.”

  After a heavy sigh, I began to tell her about my recent reoccurring dream.

  * * *

  The room was dark when my eyes came open, with only a dim candle to see by. Damaris was beside me, her face not far from mine. She slept so peacefully that I dared not move. I simply watched her, marveling at the woman before me, enjoying the warmth of her body pressed against mine. I had laid my soul bare to her the night before and unlike my nightmare when Lasha would pull away in disappointment, Damaris had squeezed me all the tighter.

  I realized then the absurdity of my dreams. Lasha would have almost certainly done the same. That realization was greeted by almost a warm feeling of approval, as if my wife had reached to me from the beyond and told me it was about time I got the truth through my thick skull.

  Damaris and I had fallen asleep in each other’s arms not long after I had finished recalling my dream to her. Awake, I couldn’t recall the last time I had such a restful night’s sleep without the aid of Dar’s potion.

  Snippets of previous conversations I had with Nason about Lasha and Damaris came to me. I’m sure he’d be quick with an ‘I told you so’ when I told him he had been right all along about loving again. Given the genuine joy I felt, I deserved whatever teasing came my way.

  Damaris opened her eyes to my relaxed sigh.

  She muttered a sleepy, “Good morning.” Then glanced to the window. “Or night still?”

  “I love you,” I said.

  She smiled wide. “I love you too.”

  I reached up and stroked her cheek. “I can’t live without you.”

  “Good thing I don’t plan on going anywhere.”

  “I love you,” I said again.

  She opened her mouth to reply, but I caught her lips with mine and pressed them tight together. Memories of Lasha no longer held me back. However, the longing to set things right with my kids soured me from doing more than sharing that brief moment of intimacy.

  * * *

  We fell back asleep, wrapped in each other’s arms. I started awake once from a nightmare.

  Damaris woke an instant later. She shifted in the bed to hold me tighter. The press of our bodies, the comfort of her touch calmed me.

  “Wadlow Hill,” I volunteered, not even waiting for her to ask me what memory had woken me. It amazed me how natural it seemed to speak so freely without trying to guard my thoughts.

  She held me tighter. “I’m here.”

  I brought my left hand up and interlaced my fingers with those she had on my chest. “I know.”

  I drifted back to sleep.

  CHAPTER 50

  Morning finally arrived.

  Woken by the smell of bacon and eggs, my stomach grumbled as a reminder of how much eating I still needed to catch up on. The saliva in my mouth reinforced the priority. I rubbed my eyes open, turning away from the sunlight beginning to enter my room. Damaris was not in bed beside me any longer.

  My bedroom door was open and downstairs I heard her cooking the breakfast my nose had discovered. I removed my covers, sat up, and gave a quick shiver as the air hit my bare chest. I quickly washed and dressed. Then for the first time in nearly two weeks, I left my bedroom and ventured downstairs.

  Damaris heard my steps and hurried over as I descended. “Let me come up and help you.”

  She started to step up. “I can do it.”

  “Well, all right, I’m glad my healing skills have worked so well.”

  “Oh, they did,” I said, reaching the bottom of the stairs and taking her in my arms. I gave her a long kiss.

  She smiled wide, then sniffed the air. She let out a squeak, before pulling away and hurrying over to the food. “Phew. Caught it just before burning.”

  “Can I help with anything?” I asked.

  She glanced over her shoulder. “You can set the table.”

  After I laid out the plates, cups, and utensils, Damaris put the food on the table. We said little while eating, but we smiled often as we kept catching a look from the other.

  “That was great,” I said.

  “There’s still some left if you want more.”

  I leaned back. “No. My appetite hasn’t fully returned.”

  She pushed her plate and mine to the middle of the table, then folded her hands in front of her and stared.

  I raised an eyebrow. “I need to talk to my kids.”

  “I know. I was just waiting for you to say it.”

  “So you’re not going to talk me out of it and tell me I need to rest more first?”

  “Would you listen?”

  I glanced to the two empty chairs on either side of us. “Not today. I’m strong enough for what needs doing. I have to talk to Zadok and Myra. There’s a lot to tell them. About me.” I reached over and took her hand. “About us.”

  She bobbed her head. “How do you think they’ll feel about that?”

  “They think the world of you. They told me once that if I was ever able to be with someone else again, they approved of you as that woman.”

  She blushed.

  “I guess the fact they allowed you to take the role you did in my recovery says a lot too. Though I wonder if they were just eager to wash their hands of me.”

  She frowned. “It isn’t quite that bad. They still very much love you and care about your well-being. They wouldn’t have just let anyone stay here. You know, others in town will likely wonder about us too.”

  I snorted. “Not as much as you think. It seems like the only person in Kasala who didn’t see this happening between us was me. I’m guessing there will be a lot of ‘about time’ comments instead.”

  She laughed. “That’s true.” Her smile faded. “There will be a lot of questions about your health. Remember, only a handful of people know the truth. Everyone else just knows you’ve been sick.”

  I needed to see my kids and beg their forgiveness. Everything else would be easy after that.

  “I’ll find a way to deal with it. We should get going,” I said, quickly standing. “Stables first since Zadok is closest. I can talk to him and afterward get a horse to ride out to the towers to see Myra.”

  CHAPTER 51

  Boaz greeted me with a warm hug, refusing to accept my offered hand. Dinah and his kids were only a few moments behind. Everyone expressed their joy in seeing me up and about. Boaz said I looked healthy, but I caught the twitch in his cheek when he said it. I knew it wasn’t true. My sickness had ta
ken an obvious toll and I’d need more than a couple meals to make up for it.

  Dinah started to ask a question, but I had to cut her off. I could only be so cordial given my desire to see my son.

  “Where’s Zadok?” I asked hopefully.

  Boaz frowned, as if only then realizing my son’s absence. “He was in the third stall not less than five minutes ago.”

  “He left,” said Abigail.

  “When?” asked Boaz.

  “When he saw Tyrus walking up. He told me to tell you that he’d be back later to finish up his work.”

  “Strange,” said Boaz. “Did he say where he was going?”

  “No.”

  “Did he say when he’d be back?” I asked Abigail, trying to keep the shakiness from my voice.

  She shook her head.

  My heart felt like a stone with the obvious implication. My boy was still angry with me. I shared a look with Damaris. “Do you know where he could have gone?” I asked everyone.

  No one knew.

  “I need to go look for him. Maybe, I—”

  Damaris put a hand on my arm. “Try to stay calm. I know you want to speak to him, but you’re not in any sort of shape to go running off after someone.”

  “I know, but . . .”

  “Let’s go talk to Myra. Maybe she’ll know where to find Zadok.”

  “Good point.” I faced Boaz. “When he returns please tell him I love him. And that I want to apologize to him.”

  “Of course.”

  We rode from the stables a short time later.

  “I’m sorry about Zadok,” said Damaris as we turned down a street in the direction of the eastern towers.

  “You warned me he was angry. I guess I just didn’t fully grasp how angry that was.”

  “He’ll come around. Give him some time.”

  “I thought he’d be the easy one to talk to,” I muttered.

  It took us longer than expected to reach the towers as everyone who spotted us came over to ask after my health and catch me up on all that I had missed. It was a little frustrating in some respects, but also the need for so many to speak to me lifted my spirits. Still, I kept the interactions short as seeing my daughter drove me forward.

  Workers hurried around the towers with ropes, nails, and hammers. I didn’t see Myra among them, but I did spot Reuma. It amazed me how much she had changed in less than two weeks. The evidence of her pregnancy had become visible. I was glad to see that she continued to stay clear of the physical work on the tower, instead supervising its progress.

  When she spotted me, the parchment she studied fell from her hands in surprise. Her eyes flicked to Damaris, then back to me as if she had to confirm her eyes were not playing tricks on her. A huge grin spread across her face.

  “Sir!” she exclaimed and hurried over.

  The genuine warmth of her response elicited a grin from me.

  “Thank the gods, you’re all right,” she added when we met, giving me a hug far tighter than I had expected.

  “No. Thank Damaris.” Glancing around, I asked, “Where’s Myra?”

  “Scouting.”

  I cursed. “Gods-be-damned, that figures. Do you know when she’ll be back?”

  “Not for at least an hour. I can send a couple people out to go looking for her if you’d like?”

  I hated to do that knowing it would pull resources away from the tower, but selfishly I needed to talk to my daughter. “Could you?”

  “Of course. I’ll be right back.”

  Reuma pulled two people aside and gave them instructions. A couple minutes later each rode out in opposite directions. She walked back over afterward.

  “Thanks,” I said, pulling her over to the side. “How has she been?”

  “You getting sick has been hard on her. She’s really thrown herself into work. Basically only stops at the end of the day when there’s no light left to work by. Started even sleeping in the towers the past few nights. I tried to get her to talk to me several times. So has Ira, Nason, and a few others. But she just changes subjects.”

  I frowned. “Zadok doesn’t seem to be doing any better.”

  “Ira and I tried to talk to him with no luck. We even tried to get Myra and Zadok to talk to each other at least, but Zadok keeps shutting her out too.”

  I hung my head. I had done things in an honest effort to protect my kids, but had caused them pain that I had hoped to avoid. I muttered, “Gods-be-damned, I made a mess of things, didn’t I?”

  The question had been rhetorical, but that didn’t stop Reuma from answering anyway. “Yes, you did. But on the bright side, if anyone can make things right, it’s you.”

  “I hope you’re right. So about an hour until Myra is back?”

  “Maybe longer depending on how quickly we find the route she took scouting.”

  “Is there a place I can wait and still be out of the way?” I asked.

  “Yes. But . . .”

  “What is it?”

  “It’s just . . . Well, Damaris told us you were doing better, but that hasn’t stopped Ira from worrying. He’s taken this really hard.”

  “I understand. I hid a lot from him and—”

  “You did. He’s pretty angry about that. But more than anything, he’s been scared. He thought you were going to die. And after Dekar, well, you know he thinks of you like a brother.”

  I swallowed the lump that had lodged itself in my throat. What could I say to that?

  “Where is he?” I asked.

  “In the fields helping Nason. He said he felt like playing in the dirt.”

  I forced myself to smile. “I’ll go see him then.”

  A part of me wanted to stay and wait, but I could tell that my energy had already begun to dip. I decided if I might need to return home later, I should make the most use of my time while out. I owed it to Ira to not make him wait on me any longer.

  “Whenever Myra returns, tell her that I’d like to apologize and explain myself as best as I can to her. And please let her know that I love her.”

  “I will.”

  I shook a few hands of those working on the newer towers then climbed back in the saddle. Again with Damaris at my side, we headed for the fields.

  * * *

  “Prax’s balls!” shouted Ira.

  He dropped the large rock he carried, practically on the foot of the man beside him before running to meet me. During his sprint, he cursed with excitement. I dismounted and handed my reins off to Damaris before walking to meet him. I wasn’t quite ready to run.

  Dirt already covered Ira head to toe after just a couple hours of work. Yet, I didn’t mind one bit when he grabbed me in a hug that lifted me off the ground.

  “I swear you lost even more weight,” he said, setting me down quickly with a frown.

  “I’m getting my appetite back though.”

  “But you’re going to be all right?”

  “Yeah, I think so. Just need to keep eating and build my strength back up.”

  “Any restrictions?”

  “Probably should stay away from alcohol for a long while which obviously won’t be a problem.”

  “You never could hold it anyway.”

  “Nope.”

  “So no worries about having to be gentle with you or anything?”

  “Not that I know of. Vered and Yehoash never told Damaris anything like that. Far as I’m concerned I’m just out of shape.”

  “Good.”

  His fist snaked out in a blur. Even at my best I don’t know if I could have avoided something so unexpected, but certainly not in my current state. I only realized what had happened after I hit the soft overturned earth.

  “Ira!” Damaris shouted.

  Other exclamations followed from people in the field who had watched us.
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br />   My hand went to my jaw. I moved it around. It ached, but nothing seemed broken. Ira had held back, but made his point. I looked up as he loomed over me. The excitement in his eyes at seeing me had dimmed, replaced with a deep hurt.

  He extended a hand and helped me up.

  “Ira, I can’t believe you hit him. Are you crazy? He’s still—”

  I cut Damaris off as she rushed over. “I’m fine. He was just making a point.”

  “A point? What kind of point was that?”

  “Not to be an idiot,” Ira said.

  I opened and closed my jaw. “A good reminder.”

  “Gods-be-damned, Ty. I thought I was going to lose you. And after Dek . . .” his voice cracked as his words trailed off.

  Letting out a slow breath, I said, “Nothing I say will take back what I did. But I’m sorry, Ira. I promise it won’t happen again.”

  “How do you know?”

  I thought about the last few days and said with absolute confidence. “Because I have Damaris.”

  His expression brightened some. “Glad you finally wised up.”

  We chatted a bit about small stuff I had missed. I mentioned Zadok’s reaction to my approach and not being able to see Myra.

  As expected, Ira didn’t sugar coat things. “They’re hurting bad, Ty. You really messed things up with them. Lots to fix there. But I think they’ll come around eventually. You’re still their Pa and they do love you. That’s why it hurt them so much.”

  “Tyrus!”

  I turned at Nason’s voice. He greeted me almost as warmly as Ira.

  After basically repeating the conversation I’d had with Ira, thankfully without a punch to the face, I asked, “Where’s our new Mayor Udo? I wanted to extend my congratulations to him.”

  Nason grinned. “Making his rounds. He probably won’t come this way until after lunch. He’s taking his role very seriously.”

  “As I expected. Is he pulling double duty in the fields too?”

  Ira motioned to Nason. “He tried to, but someone else got the job yesterday.”