by Sandi Lynn
Over the next several days, I couldn’t control my anger and my staff knew to stay away from me. In the blink of an eye, I was back to the person I hated most. I had let my guard down, let my feelings come to surface, and for what? Only to be shattered again.
I hailed a cab to Dr. Perry’s office, climbed out, and went inside. There was only a brief wait as she was with another patient.
“Come on in, Ethan.” She smiled. “Your phone call sounded urgent. What’s going on?”
I placed my hands in my pocket and paced across the room.
“Aubrey and I broke up.”
“Why?”
“I did something she didn’t like and she said something I didn’t like.”
“Okay. Why don’t you sit down and we’ll talk about it?”
“I’m fine pacing around the room.”
“What did you do?”
“I found and spoke to a doctor that may be able to help Aubrey get her eyesight back. I told her about it and she freaked out on me. She told me that she was happy the way she was and I only did it for my own selfish reasons.”
“Did you tell her after you found the doctor or before?”
“After I met with him. She said I had no right. That is was her life.”
“Did you do it for your own selfish reasons?” she asked.
“No. Of course not. I want Aubrey to see again. I want her to be able to see the things she never saw before the accident.”
“Including you?”
“Of course. Who wouldn’t want that, Dr. Perry? But that wasn’t the main reason I got in touch with Dr. Marchetti.”
“Dr. Marchetti from Boston?”
“Yes. Do you know him?”
“Yes. I’ve known him for years. He’s one of the best eye specialists in the world.”
I finally stopped pacing and took a seat across from her.
“I thought I was doing something good for her.” I lowered my head and placed my hands over my face.
“You were, Ethan. There has to be some psychological reasoning as to why Aubrey doesn’t want to meet with Dr. Marchetti. You said that she said something to you that you didn’t like. What did she say?”
“She said that she wasn’t Sophia, she didn’t need saving, and that I couldn’t save her, just like I couldn’t save Sophia.”
“I see.”
“I told her that was a low blow, that we were over, and I left.”
“You haven’t spoken to her since?”
“No. I can’t sleep. I have no appetite and I’m back to the same person I was before I met her.”
“Do you miss her?”
“Of course I miss her. I love her more than anything in the world, but what she said to me showed me who she really was.”
“That’s not true, Ethan. People say things out of anger. She was hurt and angry that you spoke to Dr. Marchetti without talking to her first, so she threw back at you the one thing she knew would hurt you most.”
“Well, that was a shit thing to do on her part. I still don’t understand why she got so defensive about it.”
“Like I said, there has to be some psychological thing going on. Perhaps she would feel guilty for getting her sight back from an accident that took the two people away she loved the most.”
“That doesn’t make sense.” I sighed.
“In Aubrey’s head, it does. Now I’m not saying that’s what her problem is. All I’m saying is that there’s some deep rooted issue she doesn’t want to deal with. Give her some space and see what happens. She was in shock by what you told her. Perhaps seeing again frightens her. Let her work things out on her own.”
“I have been.”
“Would you be able to carry on a lifelong relationship with her if she decided she didn’t want to attempt to get her eyesight back?”
“Of course I would. I love her, Dr. Perry.”
“Then that is something you need to tell her.”
****
Aubrey
The past few days had been the hardest days of my life. I cried every morning, taught my classes, and then came home to an empty apartment and cried myself to sleep. Ian and Penelope had seen me at my worst and I felt bad because they tried so hard to help me. I thought Ethan was different and apparently I was wrong. I was so sure and secure in the fact that he could love me the way I was.
My last class had just ended and Ian had a meeting with a student’s parents, so I sat down at my desk and did some work on my computer until he was finished. As I was sitting there, I heard a light knock on the door.
“Come in,” I spoke.
The door opened and I heard a woman’s voice as the visitor approached me.
“Miss Callahan?” a soft voice spoke.
“Yes.” I stood up from my desk.
“I just wanted to stop in and say hi. I’m Dr. Perry. We have a mutual friend in common: Ethan Klein.”
“Hello, Dr. Perry.” I extended my hand to her. “It’s nice to meet you.”
“It’s nice to meet you too. I was a guest speaker for the psychology classes today and I remembered that Ethan told me you were a teacher here, so I thought I’d stop by and say hello.”
“That was very nice. Thank you. Ethan spoke very highly of you.”
“So how is Ethan? I haven’t seen him in a while.”
“I don’t know. We aren’t seeing each other anymore.” I sat down in my chair.
“I’m sorry to hear that. I don’t mean to be forward, Aubrey, but I can see that you’re very upset. If you would like to talk about it, I’d be more than happy to listen.”
“Thank you, Dr. Perry, but I don’t want to waste your time. I’m sure you’re very busy.”
“Actually, I’m not. Speaking here today was the only thing I scheduled, so I’m not going to the office.”
I didn’t know if talking to her was the right thing to do. I’d spent so much time the past few days talking to my Aunt Charlotte, Penelope, and Ian, that I was tired of reliving what happened between me and Ethan. But she was a professional and maybe she could offer some advice on how to stop feeling the way I did.
“Ethan broke up with me after an argument we had. He did something that really hurt me and made me see that he wasn’t the man I thought he was.”
“What did he do?”
“He contacted a doctor who could possibly help me get my eyesight back. He did it without even telling me and then came home and sprang it on me out of nowhere. It was sneaky, undermining, and it made me very angry.”
“Why did you get so angry that he did that?”
“Because he had no right.” I looked down. “This is my life, not his. He can’t love me like this. That’s why he sought out that doctor. He wants me to get my eyesight back for him. He told me that he wants me to see him.”
“Is that so wrong?” she asked.
“Not really. In a way, I get it, but he had no right doing what he did. If he can’t be with me the way I am, then there’s no point in us being together.”
“Let me ask you something, Aubrey. Do you want to be able to see again?”
“I think about it sometimes. But losing my eyesight was my fate. It was my punishment and something I made peace with many years ago.”
“I’m sorry, but I don’t understand what you mean by ‘it was your punishment.’”
My heart started racing at the thought of telling Dr. Perry about the accident.
“The accident was my fault and the reason my parents are dead. We were on our way to the beach and I couldn’t wait to get there. It was a Saturday and my dad decided to go into the office first. He came home later than he said he would, so we got a late start. I remember being angry at him for it and as we were on our way, it started to pour down rain when it had been sunny and beautiful earlier in the afternoon. He said there was no use in going and he was going to turn around. My heart was broken because I had been promised all week that we would go to the beach. It was all I looked forward to. I started crying and yellin
g at him from the backseat, and I told him that it was his fault because he always put work in front of his family. My mom told me that I needed to calm down and that we’d go another day. I wouldn’t accept that and I wouldn’t stop crying. My father turned and looked at me and told me to stop or else. I’ll never forget the look of anger on his face. He drifted into the other lane into oncoming traffic and my mother screamed at him to look out. He swerved, but it was too late. I had my hand on the seatbelt buckle and during the impact, I must have pressed it and released the seatbelt because I was thrown from the car. I woke up in the hospital to a world of darkness. The doctors told my aunt that the paramedics found me lying on the ground a few feet away from the car. I was barely alive, but they managed to save me.”
“I’m so sorry, Aubrey,” Dr. Perry spoke.
“So you see, Dr. Perry, the accident was my fault. If I had just accepted the fact that we couldn’t go to the beach that day, things would be different. My parents would be alive and I wouldn’t have lost my eyesight.”
“You were a child. The accident wasn’t your fault.”
“But it was and losing my eyesight is something that I have to live with for the rest of my life. It’s my punishment. Nothing can bring my parents back, so why should I be able to see again?” A tear fell from my eye.
“And you became angry at Ethan for wanting to take that punishment away from you?”
“Yes. I’m living my life the way I’m supposed to.”
“Oh, Aubrey. I wish to God you didn’t feel that way. That accident wasn’t your fault, just like Sophia’s death wasn’t Ethan’s. Didn’t you tell him that it wasn’t his fault?”
“Yes.”
“How is that any different? Ethan believed that his actions drove Sophia into that ocean that night, just like you believe your actions caused that accident. So how can you say that Ethan wasn’t responsible? There’s no difference between the way you feel and the way he felt.”
“It just is.”
“No, sweetheart, it isn’t. If you were to tell him about the accident, he would tell you it wasn’t your fault, just like you told him it wasn’t his fault. You’ve lived over half your life being visually impaired, and now, with today’s advance technology, there’s someone who could potentially help you see again. It’s time to let the punishment go, Aubrey. If this doctor can help you, let him.”
I heard my classroom door open and Ian’s voice.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you had company,” he spoke.
“Ian, this is Dr. Perry. Dr. Perry, this is my friend, Ian.”
“Nice to meet you, Ian. I’m going to go. Give some thought to what we talked about and if you need anything, please call me.”
“Thank you. I will.”
“It was nice to meet you, Aubrey. Hopefully, we’ll talk again soon.” She walked out of my classroom.
Chapter 34
Aubrey
I spent the next few days thinking about what Dr. Perry said. As I stood in the bathroom, in front of the mirror, I placed my hand on it and held it there for a few moments. Thoughts about what I looked like invaded my head. There was a question I needed an answer to, so I called in sick to work and headed over to Ethan’s office. If he wasn’t there, I’d wait for him.
Using the app his company developed, I easily found my way up to his office. Using my cane for guidance, I walked down the hallway until I stopped at a desk.
“May I help you?” a woman’s voice asked.
“Is this Ethan Klein’s office?”
“Yes, it is. Do you have an appointment with him?”
“No. But if he’s in there, I need to speak with him.”
“He’s on a phone conference at the moment. May I ask your name?”
“Aubrey Callahan.”
“Oh my gosh. It’s so nice to finally meet you. I’m Lucy, Mr. Klein’s secretary.”
“It’s nice to meet you, Lucy.” I smiled.
“As soon as he’s finished with his call, I’ll let him know you’re here. I’m sorry to say this, but he’s been an absolute nightmare since—well, you know.”
“Since we stopped seeing each other?”
“Yes. Don’t get me wrong, he’s always been a nightmare, but since he met you, he became a totally different person, and it was nice while it lasted. Gee, maybe I shouldn’t have said that. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I understand. He can be a difficult man.”
“That’s an understatement.”
“LUCY!” I heard the door open and his harsh and authoritative voice spoke. “Aubrey?” His voice calmed.
“Hello, Ethan.”
My nerves were getting the best of me.
“What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be at school?”
“I took the day off. I need to speak with you.”
“Sure. Come on in.”
“First, you need to apologize to your secretary for yelling her name the way you did,” I bravely spoke as I stood there.
“Lucy, I apologize for being so abrupt.”
“It’s fine, Mr. Klein.”
I walked into his office and he shut the door. A feeling of sickness rose in the pit of my stomach.
“Are you standing in front of me?” I asked.
“Yes. I am.” His hand lightly touched my arm.
“I have a question for you and I want an honest answer.”
“Okay.”
“Could you be with me if I never got my eyesight back?”
“Yes, Aubrey. Of course I could, and I would. The only thing that matters to me is being with you. Fuck. Do you have any idea how hard this has been for me? How many times I’ve wanted to reach out to you? But I couldn’t because I was afraid you’d tell me to go to hell after what I’d done.”
“I do know because I’ve felt the same way. I’m sorry, Ethan, for the horrible things I said to you. I had no right getting so angry the way I did.”
“Sweetheart, I had no right to contact Dr. Marchetti without speaking to you first.” He took hold of my hand. “I’ve missed you so much but I wanted to give you as much space and time as you needed. I’ve been miserable without you.”
“I have too, and I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry too, baby. I really am.”
I felt his arms wrap tightly around me.
“I need you to forgive me, Aubrey.”
“I do, and I need you to forgive me. There’s a reason why I became so upset with you, and we can talk about that later.”
“Listen, nothing in this world matters to me more than being with you. I need you in my life.”
“And I need you, Ethan. I would like you to do something for me.”
“I’ll do anything for you.”
“I want you to call Dr. Marchetti and set up an appointment to see him. I’ll sign the papers so he can get my medical report from the accident because I’m ready to see if he can help me.”
“Aubrey, let’s just forget about him. I never should have contacted him in the first place. I want you just the way you are.”
“I appreciate that, but this is my decision and I’m ready to do this. I want to do it for me.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. I’m positive.”
His grip around me tightened before he broke our embrace and our lips were locked in a passionate kiss.
“I love you so much, Aubrey Callahan.”
“I love you too, Ethan.” I smiled.
Before I knew it, he swooped me up and carried me out of his office.
“Lucy, clear my schedule. I’m taking the rest of the day off and I don’t want to be disturbed. Call Harry and have him pull the car around.”
“Have a great day, Mr. Klein,” she spoke with excitement.
“What are you doing?” I giggled.
“I’m taking you back to my house and we’re spending the rest of the day in bed. We have a lot of making up to do.” He kissed my lips.
“I love that idea.” I smiled.
Ethan called Dr. Marchetti and set my appointment for next Thursday. I spoke with the principal of the school and arranged to have Thursday and Friday off so I could travel to Boston. Dr. Marchetti said that we’d have the consultation on Thursday and schedule the surgery for Friday morning. The night before Ethan and I left, we had a goodbye dinner with my Aunt Charlotte, Mr. Morris, Ian and Rigby, and Penelope.
“I’m so proud of you for doing this.” My aunt hugged me tight. “And even if it doesn’t work, it’s okay.”
“I know, and I’m not getting my hopes up. But I have to try.”
After saying our goodbyes, Ethan and I went back to my apartment to get my bags and take them back to his house, where we would spend the night and head to the airport first thing in the morning.
Walking into the hospital, a nervousness engulfed me. My life could change drastically in a matter of a day and I wasn’t sure how to cope with it. Don’t get me wrong; this was what I wanted, but nonetheless, I was still scared as shit.
“Aubrey, it’s so good to finally meet you. Come here; I feel the need to give you a hug.”
“It’s nice to meet you, Dr. Marchetti. Thank you for agreeing to see me.”
“Of course. Please have a seat.”
Ethan led me over to where the chairs were and then took a seat next to me, holding my hand the entire time.
“Okay,” Dr. Marchetti spoke. “First thing we need to do is an ultrasound of your eyes so I can get a better idea of what’s going on. I know that the optic nerves in both eyes have been severed from the accident but I need to see if there is anything else we’re dealing with. So, let’s go across the hall and get this started.”
Walking across the hall into another room, he had me sit down while bringing a machine up to my eyes.