by Sandi Lynn
“You have a lot of scar tissue that has formed, which is normal and there’s a lot of inflammation. Once we remove the scar tissue and reduce the inflammation, I’m going to inject the severed nerves with mutation cells, including stem cells to try and get the nerves to regenerate. Now, I want you to know that it could take several months for you to get your vision back completely. There is a small chance, Aubrey, that this might not work. You could still either be completely blind, or you may have some residual sight.”
“I understand, Dr. Marchetti. Even if it doesn’t work, I’m okay with it because this is how I’ve lived my life. It working would only be a bonus. But trust me, I’m not getting my hopes up.”
“Okay.” He patted my hand. “Let’s do this. Be back here tomorrow morning at five a.m. We’ll get you prepped and in surgery at six. It should take around four to five hours for the procedure.”
****
“Are you okay?” Ethan asked as he held me tight after we made love.
“I’m fine.”
“Are you sure? You’ve been quiet all day.”
“I’m just a little scared.”
He kissed the top of my head.
“I know you are and I’d be worried if you weren’t. But everything is going to be okay. Even if it doesn’t work, you would have lost nothing.”
“I know.”
“I love you, sweetheart, and I will be right here by your side no matter what happens. I will support you, love you, and give you everything you need and want. You’re stuck with me for life, whether you want to be or not.”
I couldn’t help but let out a light laugh. “I love you and there’s no other person in the world that I would rather be stuck with.” I lifted my head and kissed his lips.
“Good. Now let’s get some sleep. You have a very big day tomorrow.”
“Good night, Ethan.” I lay my head back on his chest. “I love you.”
“I love you too, baby. Good night.”
Chapter 35
Ethan
The truth was that I didn’t sleep a wink all night. I was worried about Aubrey’s surgery. One, in case it didn’t work, I didn’t want her to be disappointed, and two, because Dr. Marchetti had a talk with me on the effects regaining her eyesight could have on her emotionally. He said that she would have to learn to see all over again and that could send her into a depression. He told me that it would become a developmental process, like learning a new language and to be patient with her and help her as much as I could.
I was starting to have second thoughts about the whole thing. What if this affected her teaching? I could never live with myself if she became emotionally damaged by having this surgery. The next morning, as we were getting ready to leave, I asked her if she was sure she wanted to go through with it.
“I’m sure, Ethan. Why are you asking me that?”
“Because of the effect it could have on you afterwards.”
She gave me a small smile and placed her hand on the side of my face.
“I’ve done my research. I know all about the transition and I’ll be okay. If this works, it’s going to take time for my brain to catch up. I get that. Did you really think that I just thought I could see again and there would be no problems?”
“Why didn’t you tell me this before?”
“Because it’s nothing for you to worry about. I remember colors, numbers, shapes, objects, and words. I lived in a world of light for eight years. I understand there will some issues, but I can handle it.”
“You’re amazing. Did you know that?” I softly kissed her lips.
“Yeah. I am. Aren’t I?” She grinned.
“You sure are.” I pulled her into a tight embrace before heading to the hospital.
****
Aubrey
I could hear the sound of my name being called as I felt the bandages that were covering my eyes. I stirred and brought my hand to my face.
“It’s all over, Aubrey,” Dr. Marchetti spoke. “How are you feeling?”
“Tired,” I whispered.
“We need to leave the bandages on for a few more hours and then we’ll remove them.” He grabbed hold of my hand and gave it a squeeze. “Get some rest.”
“Ethan?” I softly spoke.
“I’m right here, baby.” He kissed my forehead. “You did great. I’m so proud of you.”
“Thanks.” I attempted a half smile.
“Get some rest and let the anesthetic wear off. I’ll be right here waiting for you.”
I lightly nodded my head and drifted off into a sound sleep. After sleeping for what felt like several hours, I stirred, and instantly, I felt the touch of a hand on mine.
“How are you feeling?” Ethan asked.
“Better.” I smiled.
“Dr. Marchetti was just in here to check up on you. He said that the bandages can come off in a couple of hours. Are you thirsty?”
“Yeah. A little bit.”
“Here’s some water.” He held the straw to my mouth.
“Have you eaten?” I asked him.
He chuckled. “Don’t worry about me. I’m fine. My mom and sister called. They wanted to see how the surgery went and to make sure you were fine.”
“That was so nice of them.”
“Penelope, Ian, and your Aunt Charlotte also called or should I say facetimed me to see how you were.”
“You better not have let them see me in this bed.”
“It was only for a second, Aubrey. I swear.” He laughed. “They wanted to see for themselves how you were, plus you know Penelope; she doesn’t take no for an answer.”
A couple of hours had passed and I was growing more nervous by the second. My hospital room door opened and Dr. Marchetti and his team of doctors stepped inside. A sick feeling formed in the pit of my stomach. This was it and I wasn’t sure if I was ready.
“Hi, Aubrey. Are you ready?”
I took in a long, deep breath as I tried to control my racing heart.
“I think so.”
He raised the back of the bed so I was sitting straight up. I felt his hand start to unwrap the bandages and my palms began to sweat.
“You okay?” Ethan asked as he held my sweaty palm.
“I’m okay.”
“Now I’m going to remove the metal plates from your eyes. Keep them closed until I tell you to open them. Okay, Aubrey, slowly, and I mean slowly, open your eyes.”
I swallowed hard first and then carefully opened my eyes. A swoosh of light fell over me and instantly, I closed them tight.
“Aubrey, what’s wrong?” Dr. Marchetti asked.
“The light. I saw light and it kind of freaked me out.”
“That’s understandable. Your eyes may hurt for a moment while they adjust. Try it again, but very slowly.”
Ethan’s grip on my hand tightened as I slowly opened my eyes and stared straight ahead. I gulped as I saw outlines of people, shadows, black and white. I slowly turned my head towards Ethan and my eyes filled with tears as, for the first time, I saw him. The outline of his face, a blurred shadow, but not too blurry that I couldn’t make out his features. A tear fell from my eye as I reached up and placed my hand on his cheek and a smile graced his beautiful face.
“I love your smile.”
“Everyone out. Let’s give them a few moments alone,” Dr. Marchetti spoke.
Ethan swallowed hard as he sat down on the edge of the bed and stared at me as he brushed a strand of hair away from my face. A tear fell from his eye and I gently wiped it away.
“You saw that?”
“Yes.”
“Can you see, Aubrey? I mean, really see?”
“Not fully. I see shadows, outlines, and some colors, like the blue shirt you’re wearing.”
He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into him.
“My God, this is a miracle. I love you so much.”
“I love you too.”
Dr. Marchetti and his team walked back in and approached me.
“How many doctors are in the room, Aubrey?” he asked.
“Including you?”
“Yes. Including me.” He smiled.
“Six.”
“How many fingers am I holding up?”
“Three.”
He walked away from the bed and over to the door.
“Now how many?”
It was so blurry that I couldn’t really make it out.
“I don’t know.”
While holding the same fingers up, he slowly walked towards me.
“Tell me when you can see how many fingers I’m holding up.”
“Four.”
“Very good.”
He approached me, sat down on the other side of the bed, and placed his hand on top of mine.
“The surgery was a success. But it’s going to take time. It could take months, but every day, your vision should get a little better. You’re going to need some help learning to see again. I’m not too concerned about colors, shapes, numbers, and various objects because you learned all that before the accident. Your brain has to readapt to its visual surroundings. It needs to retrain itself. Don’t get too frustrated if things don’t come to you. You need to stay here overnight for observation and if all checks out well, you can go back to your hotel tomorrow and fly back to New York on Sunday.”
Chapter 36
Ethan
I stayed with Aubrey at the hospital all night. There was no way I was leaving her. I had briefly left the room to go and get us some coffee, and when I came back, I found her in the bathroom, staring at herself in the mirror.
****
Aubrey
I wanted to wait until I was alone to see myself in the mirror. After Ethan left to go get some coffee, I climbed out of bed and made my way to the bathroom that was ten steps away. It took me a minute to be brave enough to flip the light switch for I was scared at who would be staring back at me. Placing my hand on the switch, I closed my eyes and flipped it up. Taking in a deep breath, I slowly opened my eyes. Was this me? The last time I saw myself in a mirror was when I was eight years old and had long blonde braids. Images of that little girl came to my mind and I could see the shadow of her in the mirror. I’d grown into this woman that I only knew from the inside. It was strange seeing myself after all these years. I felt like a stranger was staring back at me. A person I didn’t visually recognize and it freaked me the fuck out for a moment. Until Ethan walked in.
****
Ethan
She looked frightened, like a child who was looking at a total stranger. Placing my hands on her shoulders, I smiled at her through the mirror.
“Didn’t I tell you that you were gorgeous?”
“This is so strange to me, Ethan. The last time I looked in a mirror, I was a child. A little girl. And now, I’m this woman.”
“Yes, sweetheart. You’re this beautiful woman both inside and out.”
Tears started to fall from her eyes as she turned to me and buried her face into my chest.
“It’s okay, baby. Let’s get you back in bed.”
Just as I helped her back in bed, Wanda, her nurse, walked in shaking a small cup with a pill in it.
“I have a little something for you to take, Aubrey. Hold out your hand.”
“What is this?”
“It’s a little something to help you sleep. Dr. Marchetti ordered it for you. Right now, your brain is on visual overload and you won’t be able to unwind.” She handed her a cup of water.
Aubrey popped the pill in her mouth and chased it down with water.
“Get some sleep.” Wanda smiled. “Are you staying with her?” she asked me.
“Yes.”
“Good man. Do you want a cot?”
“No. I’ll be sleeping in this bed with her.”
“Like I said, good man.” She smiled.
Aubrey moved over as I climbed in next to her and held my arm out while she snuggled against my chest and fell fast asleep while I stroked her hair.
Chapter 37
Aubrey
Slowly opening my eyes, I squinted at the sun that peered through my window, and I visually took in the room as I lay there wrapped in Ethan’s arms. Staring at his face, I found that he was more handsome than I ever imagined. He was a beautiful sight. Bringing my hand up, I lightly traced his lips with my finger. Lips that kissed mine with meaning and passion. His eyes opened and he looked at me as the corners of his mouth curved upwards.
“You’re staring at me.”
“Get used to it.” I smiled.
“Never.” He kissed me.
Ethan climbed out of bed as I sat up. He went into the bathroom, washed his face, and then went to get us some coffee. I lay there, my vision just a little bit clearer. It wasn’t much, but to me, it was everything. The door opened and Dr. Marchetti walked in.
“Good morning, Aubrey. How are you feeling today?”
“Morning, doctor. I’m okay.”
“And your vision?”
“A little bit better than yesterday.”
“Good. I need to check your eyes. The light might bother them a little bit, but I need you to hold still and try not to blink.”
He shined the small white light into my right eye first and then in my left. I was nervous that he was going to tell me something wasn’t right.
“Everything looks good.” He grinned. “On a scale of one to ten, ten being the best, tell me how you feel.”
“I’d say an eight.”
“All your vitals are completely normal, so I’m going to let you go home today.”
Ethan walked in the room with our coffees and set them down on the counter.
“Did I just hear you right, Dr. Marchetti?” he asked. “You’re letting Aubrey go home today?”
“Yes. She’s doing great and there’s nothing more we can do here, so why make her uncomfortable? She’ll do much better in her own surroundings and out of this hospital bed.”
“Thank you, Dr. Marchetti.” My grin widened.
“You’re welcome, Aubrey. I would like to put your case in the journals, but I’ll need your permission.”
“That’s fine.”
“Great. I’ll go get the paperwork for you to sign and you should be out of here in about thirty minutes.”
After he walked out of the room, Ethan approached me and wrapped his arms around me.
“Are you ready to face the world?”
“As ready as I’ll ever be.” I lay my head on his shoulder with concern.
“Since we can leave today, I would like to just drive our rental car back to New York. It’s only about a three-and-a-half-hour drive. What do you think?”
“I think that’s a great idea. I’d much rather sit in a car than on a crowded airplane.”
“Okay.” He pulled out his phone. “I’ll let the rental place know that we’ll be driving back to New York.”
I didn’t want to let Ethan know that I was a little apprehensive about stepping out of the hospital and facing the world as a sighted person. There was a nervousness inside me that I didn’t understand. I should be the happiest woman in the world to get my eyesight back, but something bothered me. Something I needed to keep to myself until I could work it out.
After signing the paperwork that Dr. Marchetti wanted signed, I hooked my arm around Ethan’s.
“You ready?” He looked over at me.
Taking in a deep breath, I spoke, “Yes. Let’s go.”
As we walked to the elevator, I felt unsteady and my grip around his arm tightened.
“Is something wrong?”
“No. Nothing’s wrong.”
Stepping into the elevator, I looked at the panel of numbers and ran my fingers along the braille. Still holding onto Ethan’s arm, I closed my eyes as the elevator took us to the lobby. Stepping out onto the carpeted floor, we headed towards the doors that would lead me into the open world. As we approached, the doors slid open and I instantly stopped. Ethan looked over at me and kissed the side of my
head.
“Take your time, sweetheart. We aren’t in any hurry.”
I took in a long deep breath as I put one foot in front of the other and walked outside. The sun was so bright that it hurt my eyes. Splashes of green filled the surrounding area. Grass, trees, bushes, and shrubs overwhelmed me. The air was cool. I stopped and looked up at the blue sky and the white fluffy clouds that floated above it. I felt uneasy, so I pulled my cane from my bag, unfolded it, and tapped it on the ground in front of me. Ethan looked over at me but didn’t say word. He couldn’t possibly understand what I was feeling.
He led me over to a black car and opened the door for me. I climbed in and when the door shut, I felt lost. Closing my eyes, I pulled the seatbelt over me and buckled it. It’s going to take time, I silently chanted to myself over and over again. Ethan climbed in on the driver’s side and took hold of my hand, bringing it up to his lips.
We arrived at the hotel, and when we walked through the doors and entered the lobby, people were everywhere; talking, laughing, babies crying, in the door, out the door. Phones were ringing, carts with luggage were being pushed in every direction. My brain was on visual stimulation overload, so I shut my eyes and reverted into my world of darkness. Once we stepped out of the elevators and onto our floor, there was quiet, so I opened my eyes as Ethan led me down the hallway to our room. Pushing the card key into the lock, he opened the door and I stepped inside.
“What do you think of the room?” he asked.
“The same thing I thought about it when we first arrived. It’s big.”
He chuckled. “What about the décor? Do you like it?”
“Yes. I do like it,” I replied as I stared at the wall and the carpet that had flowers on it. “Is it okay if I take a quick shower before we head back?”
“Of course. I’m going to call your aunt and friends and let them know we’ll be coming home today.”
“Okay.” I gently smiled as I walked to the bathroom.
I started the shower and stripped out of my clothes: a pair of capri jeans and a red tank top. Before stepping into the shower, I turned and faced the mirror as I looked at my naked body. Bringing my hands up to my breasts, I stared at them and then ran them down my abdomen. Ethan stood and looked at me from the doorway.