Broken Glass

by J. D. Mason

  This was what she wanted, what she’d always wanted. A link to another human being, at the core. To belong and to be the other whole of a half. In this moment, in Luther’s arms, that’s exactly how she felt.

  “Don’t let me go,” she whispered, pressing against him. “Don’t ever let me go.”

  Luther was perfect and he was right and necessary.

  Terri slept.

  Luther couldn’t.

  You dumb motha fucka! You selfish, dumb motha fucka! He cursed himself over and over. Luther sat up on the side of the bed, coming apart over what they’d done. Another mistake, one in a long list of too damn many. Luther ran his hands down his face, the intoxicating scent of her all over him. God! She was perfect. Luther hadn’t believed something so completely about any woman since, since he’d first laid eyes on Ava.

  After losing her, there had been no one else, not even a thought that anyone else could fill that empty space in his heart. This one time with Terri had proven him to be a liar, and Luther felt like shit.

  He heard her stirring, felt her moving behind him, but Luther didn’t dare to turn to look at her.

  “What time is it?” she asked, her fingers grazing his lower back.

  He glanced at the clock on the nightstand, “Just after nine.”

  The silence between them was deafening, filling the once sweet space with a toxic regret.

  “I’m sorry,” he said first.

  “Luther, don’t.” Terri sat up, placed a soft hand on his shoulder. Luther gently shrugged it off.

  “Nick and I have never been close,” he explained.

  “This isn’t about Nick.”

  “Bullshit,” he snapped, glancing over his shoulder. “We were trying, Terri. We can’t mend what was broken, but he and I have been trying to build on something new.”

  Luther shouldn’t have had to explain this. Terri knew what they’d done was wrong. Fuck, if she didn’t know.

  “Okay, but you can’t tell me this didn’t mean anything to you,” Terri’s voice cracked, like she was on the verge of crying. “It wasn’t just sex, Luther. Don’t tell me you think that’s all it was.”

  “Then I won’t. What we did was wrong, and you know it.” This time he did turn to her and stared into her eyes, challenging her to deny that he wasn’t right.

  Tears glistened in her beautiful eyes. “I care for him, too.”

  Luther swallowed. “He’s my son, Terri. What I did—”

  “We, Luther,” she interrupted, swiping at tears. “What we did.”

  What the hell kind of father was he? What kind of man? There was no excuse for what he’d done with this woman, and he hated himself. Nick meant everything to him. He was the only thing Luther had left in his life that he’d be willing to die for, and he’d put it all on the line, for what? Her? Pussy?

  “He can’t know.” He stood, crossed the room to put space between them.

  “Of course not,” she blurted out. “I would never tell him.”

  How’d he let this happen? What was the moment that made him forget about Nick long enough for Luther to feel it was okay to fuck the man’s woman?

  “We take this fuckin’ secret to our graves, Terri,” he demanded, feeling more convicted and more determined to salvage his relationship with Nick.

  Terri drew her knees to her chest, looking as devastated as Luther felt, but there was only one thing left for her to do. If she hadn’t reached that conclusion on her own, he needed to be sure she understood it now.

  “You can’t keep seeing him.”

  She looked stunned that he’d said it, but she needed to hear it. This wasn’t solely about keeping a secret. It was about saving Nick at all cost. That boy could not be played. Not by her. Not by anyone.

  “I-I mean, no. Of course, I won’t keep seeing Nick. How can I? After this… you … How could I possibly continue seeing him?”

  He’d fucked up. Nick had been happy, and Luther had fucked that up. Terri had been getting her life on track, and he’d fucked it up.

  “I’m sorry,” he said out loud, more to himself than to her. Luther’s voice trailed off.

  “I am too, Luther. Believe me, I am so very sorry.”

  “He won’t understand you ending it all of a sudden. You need to let him down—”

  “I’m not an idiot, Luther,” she said, shucking off the sheet and climbing out of bed.

  Terri dressed in a hurry and gathered her things to leave.

  “It’s over,” her voice cracked. “I’ll take care of it.”

  Luther felt as if someone had spooned out his heart.

  “Not that way,” he told her, just as she was walking down the stairs leading to the bar.

  Luther led her to the back of his loft and held open the back door for her. Terri paused, and almost looked up at him before taking the stairs leading from the back of the building into the parking lot.

  He waited at the door, long enough to see her get inside her car and pull out of the parking lot before closing the door behind him and walking back to the bed on shaky legs. A lump the size of his foot swelled in his throat. The overwhelming need to be with that woman clouded his judgment to the point of putting everything that mattered to him at risk. He and Nick were on the mend for the first time since that boy had been born. But Nick had been an afterthought. His whole life, his son had been an afterthought. Luther had been lying to himself, convinced that he had become a better man. He believed that shit, until now.

  Let It Rain

  Half an hour after leaving Luther’s, Terri, freshly showered, changed into a tee shirt and panties, crawled into bed, and lay in the dark, staring up at the ceiling.

  “What the fuck did you just do, Terri?” she whispered, numb and in total disbelief of what happened between her and Luther.

  This was the kind of shit that would happen on that reality show, the kind of shit she’d judged her co-stars for, turning up her nose and rolling her eyes in disgust.

  Terri covered her face with her hands and cursed, “Damn! Damn! Fuck, Terri!”

  “How’d you let that happen?” she asked, rolling over on her side, blinking back tears. “Why?”

  It started out as nothing. One minute she and Luther were talking, watching videos, listening to music. Talking. They were friends. Right? Friends talking about their lives. There was an understanding between them centering on similar backgrounds and the worlds they’d come from. They’d related to each other on that level. That’s all it was, until…

  She searched her thoughts for a moment, the one where it all changed. It was there, but shrouded in a cloud of gray, cloaked in casual glances, coy smiles and touches. More than a gesture or anything either of them said, there was a feeling. Terri felt it and he must’ve felt it too because nothing specific was ever said, but the energy between them led to one thing. A kiss.

  An image flashed in her mind of Terri leaning on the piano, Luther playing, and of a very natural, magnetism drawing her face closer to his, his to hers, and at first, lips. It was a sweet peck that they had no business sharing but did. They drew back and stared into each other’s eyes for a moment, and then another one, as light as the first. Luther reached one of those bear paws of his to the back of her neck, pulled her lips to his again and…

  The taste, the flavor of him, mixing with her, created a fog thick enough to cloud judgment and impair reason.

  Terri shook off the image, covered her face with a pillow and screamed into it.

  For years, she’d felt like driftwood, carried by waves at their mercy, desperately seeking to land somewhere, but she never could. Sure, she’d bought places to live, but in her heart, home was temporary until something better came along. In the few hours she was with him, Luther felt like home, like a place she could stay and never leave, because the urge to pack up and move on was gone. So, it wasn’t just sex.

  She drew her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. Nick was a nice man. He was funny, handsome, smart, and attentiv
e. He was everything she should’ve wanted, but not quite. And it wasn’t him. It was her. He was centered and solid in who he was. Any woman in her right mind would turn backflips for his attention. Tonight, however, with Luther, Terri realized she’d only been with Nick because she felt like it was the right thing to do. With him, life was giving her a chance to move back a couple of spaces and take a different path than the one she’d chosen. He was a chance at normalcy for someone like her, who’d avoided the concept like the plague.

  Terri cared for him. In the few months they’d been dating, she enjoyed Nick’s company and she thought she’d wanted more with him. A life, a future. He was everything.

  But he wasn’t Luther.

  “Did you hear what I just said?” Roxy emphatically asked.

  It was just after seven in the morning and she’d ambushed Terri with a surprise video chat. Terri was one of the few people in the world to ever see the woman with her head wrapped, wearing glasses, and without a full face. She actually looked ten years younger in her natural state.

  Terri groaned and rubbed sleep from her eyes as she sat up, “I heard you.”

  “Six-hundred-and-fifty thousand signatures, T. All for you.”

  “Great,” Terri responded, with way too much sarcasm.

  Somebodies, apparently 650,000 of them, had decided to get together and petition Terri’s return to the Vivacious Vixen’s reality show.

  Roxy sighed, “Terri, it’s not ideal, but a show like that could change the whole trajectory of your career, sis.”

  “What career, Roxy?” Terri snapped. “It’s over. How many different times do I have to tell you that? I’m through. I’m done. And I’m certainly not interested in going back into that three-ring circus when I’m living in my own, right here in this tiny ass town.”

  Terri had never raised her voice to Roxy before, but dammit, the woman wasn’t listening. Terri needed Roxy to finally hear her and stop pitching acting opportunities at her.

  “It’s too early for this, Roxy,” she said, her voice cracking. “I can’t—”

  “Terri? What’s wrong? What happened?”

  Terri closed her eyes and shook her head. She didn’t want to talk about it, but she desperately needed to talk about it.

  “I slept with Luther,” she blurted out.

  Roxy’s eyes darted back and forth. “Luther? Luther who?”

  “Nick’s father,” Terri snapped. “The man I’m seeing… I slept with his goddamned father, Roxy.”

  Tears escaped down her cheeks and the reality of what happened between the two of them came rushing back to her.

  “Fuck!” Terri exclaimed. “Who does that? I mean, I’m all for a woman’s right to explore her sexuality. I should be able to have sex with whoever I choose to have sex with because I’m not married. I’m not even Nick’s girlfriend, but his father?” She grimaced. “Seriously? Who the fuck does that?”

  “Whoa,” was the best Roxy could do, her eyes glazed over and fixed on Terri, coming apart.

  “This is reality TV drama. It’s a soap opera. It’s humiliating and a small ass town and it wouldn’t surprise me one bit if half the people here didn’t already know about it.”

  Roxy finally spoke up after a long pause, “What are you going to do?”

  Terri sniffed and wiped away tears. “Duh—I have to stop seeing Nick. Stay as far away from Luther as I can and go back to minding my own, damned business.”

  “What kind of man is this Luther to do something like that to his son?”

  “He didn’t do it by himself, Rox,” Terri admonished. “I kissed him first.”

  “You kissed him? Terri—why?” Roxy probed.

  “You think I haven’t been banging my head against the wall asking myself the same thing?” Terri asked, frustrated. “I’d heard about women slipping and accidentally falling on dicks, but I never expected to be one of them.”

  “It wasn’t an accident,” Roxy stated, simply. “Things like that don’t just happen, Terri. You didn’t accidentally sleep with the man’s father.”

  Terri rolled her eyes.

  “It’s me, T, and you don’t need to lie to me or to tell me what you think I need to hear. Truth. Why’d you do it?”

  “I don’t know,” she murmured.

  Dead silence from Roxy, which often happened while she gave Terri time to rethink her answer.

  “What kind of woman settles for a handsome doctor?” Terri finally asked. “One who has made it clear that he’s interested in a future with that woman?”

  “I’m listening,” Roxy responded. “What kind?”

  “I’m almost forty-four, Rox, and I have no idea who I am.”

  “You know who you are.”

  “I really don’t. Practically my whole life, I’ve been Terri the actress, and that’s it. That’s all. Being here is forcing me to look inside and to see myself in a whole other light.”

  “And that’s why you fucked your man’s dad?”

  “Why do you have to say it like that?”

  “Because I’m sick of hearing it, T,” Roxy complained.

  “Of what?”

  “Your act.”

  Terri grimaced. “What are you talking about?”

  “You’re still on, girl. Still on a movie set or reality show. Still performing. Still drama.”

  “I am not drama,” she shot back.

  “Are you really being real with me right now? Because it doesn’t feel like it.”

  “I am being real with you,” she said, irritated by Roxy’s judgment. “I’m confiding in you, my friend.”

  “Then confide, girl, and stop with this bullshit about finding yourself. Why’d you do it? Why’d you sleep with Nick’s father? Were you drunk?”

  “No,” she snapped.

  “Did he slip something into your sweet tea?”

  “No.”

  “Did he force himself on you?”

  “No, Roxy!”

  “Then you fucked him because you wanted to?”

  “Yes,” she admitted.

  Roxy paused. “Was that so hard?”

  “I shouldn’t have wanted to,” Terri stated, bitterness burning the back of her throat.

  “But you did and that’s your truth.”

  Terri groaned, disappointment shadowed her face. “It just happened, Rox.”

  Serves Him Right

  Tyler threw the best parties. A few of Roxy’s clients were regulars on a few of his weekly television shows and she’d been invited to this shindig by proxy.

  “Roxy,” David Randall, Executive Producer of the Vivacious Vixens of Atlanta, smiled, impeccably dressed in an impeccable suit. “How’ve you been?”

  “David.” She smiled. Roxy sipped her wine. She’d caught wind of the petition weeks ago. “Great seeing you. It’s been a while.”

  “You look beautiful, as always.”

  “Thank you, and congratulations on the launch of the new show.”

  That broad chest of his puffed, shoulders drew back, a satisfied and proud smirk tweaked the corner of his mouth. “Thank you. It’s exciting and we’ve already started casting.”

  “What’s the name of the show again?” she asked.

  “The Lavish Life, set in Los Angeles.”

  Roxy raised her glass in a toast. “Here’s to living the lavish life.”

  David clinked his glass to hers. “By the way, how’s Terri? Have you spoken to her?”

  Six months ago, he’d fired Terri, citing the doldrums of her storyline. When viewers found out she wasn’t coming back next season, they cried foul and reigned down bullshit all over his perfectly coifed head.

  “Yes, as a matter of fact, we spoke a few days ago.”

  “I’m sure you’ve heard about the petition,” he offered.

  “No,” she lied. “What petition?”

  So, where was this headed? Roxy maintained her cool, hoping to get a glimpse of him squirming.

  He paused, looking surprised that she appeared clueless. �
�It seems fans didn’t take the news too well about Terri’s unexpected departure.”

  “You mean, her firing?”

  He leaned back on his heels and returned a wry smile. “Prematurely.”

  Roxy’s smug expression caused his face to flush red.

  “She’s doing well, I hope.”

  All the conversations she’d been having with Terri, including the one from this morning flashed in her memory and the opportunity to strike back at the man who’d dared call her client boring was too great to just let slip by.

  “She single-handedly saved the life of one of her neighbors who broke Terri’s ankle some months back. She’s smack dab in the middle of the kind of love triangle playing out in one of Mr. Perry’s hit shows. Oh, and she’s going into theater.”

  Roxy had embellished, but the way his eyes lit up, she knew her point had struck gold.

  “Our Terri?” he asked, impressed. “That all sounds—amazing.”

  “Never a dull moment,” Roxy lifted her glass and took another sip.

  “I thought she looked down her nose at drama?”

  “The woman’s living her best life,” she assured him. “It’s definitely a side of her you never gave her an opportunity to show.”

  Not that she’d ever want to put her friend’s business in the street like that, or air Terri’s dirty laundry on national television. She just wanted this fool to see the woman’s potential and how he’d failed to capitalize on a good thing.

  “Roxyyyyy,” one of her clients, Desiree, squealed floating across the room looking like a dream, wrapped her arms around Roxy. “I’m so glad you could make it.” Desiree placed delicate fingers on David’s arm. “Mind if I steal her away for a moment? I have someone I’ve been dying to introduce her to.”

  Roxy delivered a beaming smile at the man before disappearing through the crowd with Desiree, knowing good and damn well the seed had been planted and was already taking root.

  Roxy loved Terri like a sister, and she’d only ever wanted the best for her. She’d lost count of how many times the two of them had been in this space before. Terri was down on Terri. She was tired and she’d made up her mind that she was finished with acting. Only, she was never quite finished.