by J. D. Mason
Terri was so fixated on Luther that she didn’t feel arms slip around her waist until it was too late. Luther looked up, his eyes met hers, in time to see Nick slip up behind her.
“Hey, you,” Nick whispered.
Terri’s heart sank to her stomach as she turned to him. “Nick.”
He smiled. “Don’t you look pretty.”
Terri returned a curt smile, then turned her attention back to the musicians, avoiding Luther’s passing glances. She desperately wanted to leave, but for some reason, Terri stood planted between Nick and Luther.
Five minutes later, Luther and the others finished playing and the crowd around them erupted in applause. Nick looked over her head at his father, grinned and acknowledged him with a nod. Terri looked to Luther, who briefly made eye contact with her, before dapping the old man he’d been performing with, and getting up and making his way over to the two of them. Leaving now would make it obvious. Wouldn’t it? Would Nick put the pieces of the puzzle together and realize that something had happened between Terri and his dad?
“When’d you get to town?” Luther asked, looking at Nick.
“Not too long ago. Heard you were out here, so” —he shrugged— “thought I’d swing by and look who I found.” He looked down at Terri and smiled.
Terri swallowed. “It sounded great,” she said to Luther.
If Nick saw the look in Luther’s eyes, did he know what to make of it? Terri saw it and without saying a word, understood everything the man fought to keep to himself.
“Thanks, Terri.” Luther turned his attention back to Nick. “It’s good to see you, by the way.”
“You too,” she nodded.
“Hey, I got to get back to the bar,” Luther explained. “You swinging through before you go?” he asked Nick.
“Yeah, I’ll swing by,” Nick assured him. “What’s the special?”
“I don’t know, man,” Luther joked. “They don’t tell me nothing. I find out like everybody else when I read it on the chalkboard.”
Nick laughed. Terri pretended to adjust her skirt and eased out of his grasp, miffed by how forward he was. What part of I-need-space-it’s-not-you-it’s-me didn’t Nick understand?
“Just so you know,” Nick added, “I sing a little too, Pop.” He glanced at Terri. “Just in case somebody listening might be impressed by crooners.”
“I don’t know about crooning,” Luther laughed. “More like crowing if you ask me. I can carry a tune, but not far.”
“You did great,” Terri added.
Luther returned a slight bow. “Appreciate it.”
“I’m going to finish my shopping,” Terri said, turning to leave.
“Okay, baby. I’m right behind you.” Nick said.
Baby? Really? He had to “baby” her now?
Terri had hurried and bought spinach, tomatoes, and blueberries, and hoped to make a mad dash to her car before Nick caught up with her.
“Why don’t you slow down and tell me how the audition went,” he said, jogging up behind her.
“Fine.”
“Fine,” he repeated. “Just fine?”
Terri stopped. “It went well, Nick. Fine.”
“You get the part?”
Terri nodded. “I had it before I got off the plane.”
“Good,” he said, taking hold of one of her hands. “So, what does that mean? You’ll be gone for a while?”
“Yeah. Filming starts soon.”
She had no idea when filming started, but Terri decided that there was no better excuse in the world to end a relationship than not having time for one.
The expression on his face, disappointment, regret—whatever it was, pulled at her heart. But Nick quickly composed himself.
“Well, at least have dinner with me tonight.”
“Nick—”
“Come on, Terri. It’s just food,” he cocked a brow and smirked.
“I told you, I’m not ready for a relationship,” she said as politely as she could.
“It’s not a relationship,” he clarified. “It’s a meal.”
“It’s sending the wrong message,” she clarified. “You’re sending a message that you want more than that.”
“Of course I do,” he admitted. “But the conversation was always good between us.” Nick shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “Look, I’m not dense, and I’m not stalking you. I can’t stop caring about you, though. I can’t just turn it off, Terri.”
“You should.”
“And I will. In time. I had no intention of seeing you today, but when I did— I know it’s over,” he said, disappointment shadowing his expression. “Friends. We can’t do just do that? Friends over some ribs or catfish?” He smirked.
Terri couldn’t help it. Hell, she was on her way out of this town anyway, sooner rather than later. Terri had made her point with Nick. Their romantic relationship had come to an end. Their friendship could, maybe suffer through dinner, but she was ghosting Devastation, Louisiana and everyone in it.
“I’ll pick you up at six?” he asked.
Terri shook her head, brushed passed him and waived her hand. “Six is fine.”
Salt On My Wounds
“What the hell are you doing, Terri?” Luther blurted out as soon as she answered the phone.
“Luther? What—”
Luther raked his hand across his head and stopped pacing. “We agreed you’d break it off with Nick.”
“I did break it off, Luther,” she snapped.
“That’s not what I saw today.”
“I didn’t expect for him to be there,” Terri responded. “I haven’t seen Nick since before I left for California.”
“But you’ve spoken to him.”
What the hell was she doing? Luther had been trying to make sense of that encounter in the park since it happened, and none of it added up.
“He’s called a couple of times, but I haven’t spoken to him until today,” she explained.
Luther sat down and groaned.
“I told Nick that it was over,” she reiterated. “I told him that I needed to get myself together before I could be with him or anyone else.”
Woman talk for “It’s over but not really.” No wonder Nick was confused.
Luther leaned back in his chair. “Terri, you can’t half ass end it,” he explained. “You needed to fuckin’ tell him it was over.”
“I did,” she retorted. “Look, Luther, I’m handling it. I’m not seeing Nick. I told you that, but that’s all I’m telling you because it’s none of your business”
Luther sat up. “No. Ever since you fucked with me, it’s our business. You being with my son is all kinds of wrong.”
“You don’t have to remind me of that,” she exclaimed.
He’d done some pretty low-down shit in his day, but nothing, absolutely nothing, could compare with what went on between him and Terri in this apartment. The fact that she was worried about being rude or was more concerned with letting Nick down easy was fuckin’ ridiculous as far as Luther was concerned.
“You think I don’t have a conscience? I didn’t invite him to the park, Luther. Nick took it upon himself to—”
“Read between the lines?” He interrupted. “Ignore mixed signals?”
“I’m not sending mixed signals.”
“They sound pretty mixed to me, Terri, and if I can’t make sense of them, how the hell do you expect him to.”
“Why are you attacking me?” She shot back. “Why are you acting like I’m the only one here who’s guilty, Luther.”
“That’s not what I’m doing, and you know it.”
“Look,” she huffed. “It’s over between Nick and I and that’s all you need to know. I’m moving on with my life and putting Nick, you, and this damn town behind me. Trust that if you don’t trust anything else.”
Finality weighted her tone. Terri was finished, in more ways than one, and a part of him, one he shamefully turned his back to, hated the fact that his name was
one she’d just as soon forget.
“We both played a part in this,” he reasoned. “We both need to make sure he doesn’t get hurt.”
“It was never my intention to hurt him,” she eventually admitted.
“Then you need to make it clear to him, Terri,” he reminded her. “He doesn’t deserve this. Nick still sees opportunity. He’s not convinced the door is closed.”
“How do you know what he’s thinking?”
Luther leaned back. “He doesn’t believe it’s over because he doesn’t want to.”
If the situation were reversed, and he was the one Terri had broken it off with, he wouldn’t want to accept it either.
“It’s because I care about him, Luther. That’s what makes this so hard. He was starting to believe—”
“That he loved you.”
“That he could.”
Naturally, Nick could love her. That was the problem. The longer she dragged this out, the harder it would be. Terri had to know that, and for the life of him, Luther couldn’t understand her reasons behind stringing Nick along.
Nick hadn’t come right out and said it, but before all of this happened, he came dangerously close to admitting to Luther that he was in love with Terri.
“He cares for me and I don’t want to be brutal.”
“Brutal?” he said, surprised by this twisted sense of resentment ballooning inside him. “You fucked me, Terri. That’s brutal.”
“Don’t you dare,” she threatened. “You be careful how you talk to me, Luther.”
“All I’m saying is for you to do what needs to be done. To hell with love or letting him down easy. My son can’t be with a woman who—”
“A woman who what?”
Goddamnit, Luther! Easy.
“You know what I mean.”
“I do. And I’m sorry that I do. You can kiss my ass, Luther.”
Terri hung up before he could say another word. Putting all the blame on her was never his intention. She’d cheated on Nick with another man, who happened to have been him. That part. His son deserved a woman who would never in a million years do some shit like that. And he deserved a father who wasn’t Luther. He couldn’t change the latter, but Terri could fix the part that involved her.
Recalling his son’s face earlier today when he looked at the woman, filled Luther with a deep, resounding kind of agony that broke his heart. Something else resonated with him, as well, the greasy, ugly feeling of jealousy he hadn’t expected. He hated himself for it.
“Shit,” he blurted out, closing his eyes.
Luther had been a fuck up for most of his life. On the outside looking in, he shined like a gold coin. Luther Hunt, one of the most sought after guitarists in the music industry, was a fuckin’ failure at the things that mattered most.
When Ava told him to keep playing, convincing him she was fine and that she was getting better, always getting better, he believed it, because he didn’t want to come home. Luther was living his dream, while she suffered in silence, letting him. When she said she was fine, he convinced himself that she was. When he spoke to Nick on the phone and the boy told him that his mom was still in bed, Luther convinced himself that she was tired. Those times when he did come home, he came bearing expensive gifts and stories from his escapades on the road, ignoring her weight loss, the circles under her eyes, and the darkness in Nick’s whenever he looked at Luther.
By the time Luther decided to stop running from reality and face it, he was too late. Lupus had done its damage, and Ava was never going to be alright again. He lost her, but he’d lost his son long before that. It had only been in the last year that Nick had started opening a space just big enough for Luther to slip through, barely, to build a relationship with his son for the first time in the boy’s whole life… and then this shit happened.
Nick was everything. Luther was still fighting for his redemption with his son, and this trespass would be absolutely unforgivable if Nick ever found out. Luther couldn’t let that happen. A woman would not be the reason he lost his son, again.
The Train
Terri’s apprehension was as thick as molasses. She sat next to him in the car like he had the plague or something, but she hadn’t bailed on him. She should’ve. Pride had fucked that up, though. He’d pulled up to her place, but before he could even get out of the car, Terri came out, locked the door behind her and climbed into the passenger seat.
“Hey,” was all she said, glancing quickly at him.
Nick leaned over and kissed her cheek. “You look pretty.”
Terri smiled.
“I’m not used to this,” he admitted.
“I’m sorry?” She finally looked at the man. “What?”
He felt silly saying it, but it was the truth, “I’m not used to women not wanting to be—to being dumped.”
God! That sounded beyond desperate and definitely egotistical. More silence and then both of them burst out laughing at the same time.
“First time, huh?” Terri composed herself and asked.
Nick laughed too. “Yes! Until you, I didn’t even think it was possible.”
“A new Italian place opened up a few blocks from the theater,” she offered. “You want to try it?”
“Aw, I kind of promised Luther we’d swing through. Maybe next time?” He asked, hopeful that there might actually be a next time, taking hold of her hand and kissing it.
Terri returned a subtle nod, which didn’t give him a whole lot of hope for another date, but the night was still young.
* * *
Business was booming. Luther’s place was packed, but he’d been sure to reserve the best table for Nick and Terri. A curvy redhead, sounding like Joni Mitchell sang, accompanied by a Hispanic dude on guitar and a brotha on the bongos. The music was good, mellow and easy. Luther came by and said a quick hello but spent most of the night working the room, stepping up as MC when needed, and hurrying back to behind the bar to fill drink orders.
They shared the ribs, with sides of greens, Mac n’ cheese, and pickled onions. Small talk filled the space between them. He had a feeling that Terri might’ve been fine with that, but he couldn’t be.
“So, now that you got that part, what’s your next move?”
“Well, we’ll work through the details of the contract,” she explained. “Probably start filming shortly after that.”
“You’ll be gone awhile, then.”
“Couple of months, maybe.” She shrugged.
“But you plan on coming back?”
The look on her face answered the question, as far as Nick was concerned. “If I do, it won’t be for long, Nick. I plan on moving back to Cali. If this movie does what I think it will for my career, I need to be where the action is, so to speak.”
“Is that why you want to end our relationship?” he asked. “You knew you’d be leaving?”
“That’s a big part of it,” she responded with a hint of reluctance.
Relief set in and Nick suddenly gave in to optimism. “If it’s just a distance thing, Terri,” he reasoned. “That’s not a big deal. I mean, we’re doing that already. And I, personally, think it works. We work.”
“You’re a few hours away, Nick. I’ll be a few states away. It’s not the same.”
“It’s not, but if people want to make a relationship work then they do,” Nick argued. But then another thought occurred to him. “Unless…”
“Unless?”
Nick was anything but insecure, but this woman had him feeing like a science nerd in love with the head cheerleader. “You’re just not interested in a small town doctor. Is that it?”
She smiled. “You work in New Orleans. That’s hardly a small town.”
“Compared to L.A,” he shot back, “that’s all it is. But is that it? You heading to Hollywood and this” — he motioned between them— “doesn’t fit the image?”
“Hey, you two,” Luther interrupted, standing over Nick. “How’s the food?”
“Delicious,” she r
esponded with a soft smile and casual glance at his father. “I’m stuffed.”
“Why don’t you sit for a minute,” Nick offered, motioning to the empty space next to Terri.
Luther glanced around the room before taking Nick up on his offer. “How’s doctoring?”
Nick shrugged. “Never dull.”
“The band’s really good.” Terri toyed with her straw in her drink.
“Yeah,” Luther acknowledges. “Came from Nashville.”
“Mom would’ve loved them.” His mother was eclectic and loved everything not quite the status quo.
“She would’ve.” Luther smiled.
“So, you hear the news?” Nick asked.
Luther raised a brow. “News?”
He looked at Terri. “About Miss Terri, here.”
Luther looked perplexed.
“Come on, Pop. People in this town can’t change their underwear without everybody knowing about it. So, you can’t tell me you don’t know about this.”
“Nick,” she softly protested.
“Seriously?” Nick asked, surprised. “You’re being bashful?”
“What news?”
Nick stared at her, waiting for her to share it.
“I got an acting role.”
“A lead,” Nick added.
“Congratulations, Terri,” Luther grinned. “That’s outstanding.”
“Thanks.”
Was it Nick’s imagination or were these two a little stiff with each other?
“Hey, Nick,” Yolanda said, coming over and sitting down next to him. “Terri. Congratulations. I heard you got a part in a film.”
Nick looked at Luther. “Now, how’d she hear about it and you didn’t?”
“I ain’t nosey.” He looked at Yolanda when he said it.
Yolanda wrinkled her nose. “I ain’t either. But I’m astute and I’m a fan.” She smiled at Terri.