Not Just a Governess

by Carole Mortimer

  And this was the man who was now Elena’s guardian? Not only her guardian, but also the man who had wished for her to become his wife? A man known as a reprobate and despoiler of innocents?

  Had he—would he have dared to try to despoil her, too? The blood chilled in his veins at the thought.

  ‘Elena?’ Adam prompted sharply.

  ‘Lady Cicely has divined his character perfectly,’ she confirmed, the slenderness of her back and shoulders now stiff and unapproachable. ‘I turned down his offer of marriage, of course. A refusal he did not—did not take kindly to, shall we say. And which, as my legal guardian, he chose to ignore.’

  ‘He is in love with you?’

  ‘Love?’ Elena scorned as she finally turned to face him, her face paper-white, and her eyes a dark and unfathomable blue-green. ‘I do not believe love to be an emotion Neville is capable of feeling. Self-indulgence. Lust. Greed. Those are the only emotions he understands.’

  ‘Greed?’ Adam chose to ignore the first two emotions, for fear of where those thoughts might take him, his gaze intent on the pallor of her face.

  She drew in a shaky breath. ‘As I said, my grandfather did not wish for me to be left destitute as well as alone after his death and so made financial provision for me in his will. In that, I would come into my own considerable personal fortune on the advent of my coming of age or my marriage, whichever came first.’

  ‘Your grandfather did not expect his demise to occur before your majority.’ Adam made it a statement rather than a question.

  ‘No, he did not.’

  His eyes narrowed. ‘How did he die, Elena?’

  Her breath caught in her throat. ‘A heart attack, brought on by shock.’

  ‘What sort of shock?’

  ‘Does it matter?’ she came back defensively. ‘The fact is he died, ten months before my twenty-first birthday. And Neville, as my legal guardian, made it clear to me, after my grandfather’s funeral, that he did not intend for any of the Sheffield money to be settled outside of the family and that I was to become his wife as soon as the arrangements for the marriage could be made.’

  ‘A marriage you were opposed to.’

  ‘Oh, yes,’ she assured vehemently.

  ‘And so you ran away, taking the money and jewels with you so as to—’ Adam broke off, shaking his head. ‘You did not take any money or jewels with you, did you?’ How could she have done? For, as he had realised earlier, if Elena had stolen those things, then there would have been absolutely no reason for her to seek employment as a governess.

  ‘Neville Matthews made up the story about your having taken the money and jewels,’ Lady Cicely stated firmly. ‘As he also made up the story of your having been responsible for your grandfather’s death.’

  Elena turned away, the tears now falling softly down her cheeks as she could no longer bear to so much as look upon the sympathy she saw in that kindly lady’s face. ‘I—not exactly,’ she answered huskily.

  ‘How not exactly?’ Adam demanded harshly.

  ‘It is true I did not take anything from the house when I left, apart from a few personal belongings.’ Elena gave a shake of her head. ‘But if I had not fought off Neville’s attentions that evening—if I had not called out for help—if I had not screamed, then my grandfather would not have taxed himself by running to my bedchamber to discover—to see—’

  ‘I believe we have distressed Miss Matthews quite enough for the moment,’ Lady Cicely cut in firmly. ‘You will go down the stairs for the brandy now, Adam,’ she instructed as she crossed the room to Elena’s side and placed an arm gently about her shoulders.

  Lady Cicely’s kindness was too much for Elena to withstand after talking of, remembering, the night of her grandfather’s death and the terrible days that had followed, when she had lived in constant fear of what Neville would do next, and she turned in that lady’s embrace as she began to sob in earnest. For the death of her grandfather, for all that she had lost, and lastly, because of the disgust she knew would be on Adam’s face if she had dared to look at him again.

  Which she did not, hearing instead his departure to do as his grandmother bade him and fetch the brandy.

  ‘Now, my dear,’ Lady Cicely spoke again with firmness. ‘You will tell me exactly what further outrage that excuse for a man inflicted upon you to cause you to run away as you did, without even the means of supporting yourself. A confidence I promise you I shall not share with my grandson, if that is what you wish,’ she added at Elena’s obvious hesitation.

  Elena looked at the older woman searchingly, easily seeing the compassion in that kindly face, but also some of Adam Hawthorne’s strength of character in the directness of Lady Cicely’s unwavering and encouraging gaze. A compassion and strength, which now gave her the courage to tell Lady Cicely the whole truth of the day of her grandfather’s funeral, when she had been left with no choice but to run away from Sheffield Park, penniless and alone.

  ‘I understand from my own conversation with the gentleman that you spoke with Jeremiah prior to my own conversation with him?’

  Elena could discern none of Adam’s feelings on the matter as she looked across at him from the doorway of his study, where she had been summoned by Jeffries to attend him after earlier refusing to join the family for dinner.

  She had known she would have to see and speak with Adam again some time during this evening, of course, and had chosen not to burden the dinner table with her presence, but rather accept Lady Cicely’s suggestion that she have a tray sent up to her bedchamber. Not that Elena had been in the least hungry, but she had not wished to disappoint Lady Cicely when she had been so kind to her.

  Unfortunately, with only a single candle alight on the front of Adam’s desk, his face remained in shadow, so making it impossible for Elena to read his expression to gauge what he might be feeling. ‘I thought it best that I try to reassure him, yes,’ she confirmed.

  He nodded. ‘Come in and close the door behind you. There is absolutely no reason why the whole of my household should be privy to our conversation,’ he added gently once Elena had done as he requested. ‘And having now spoken to Jeremiah yourself, you will also know that Matthews dismissed the majority of your grandfather’s household staff seven weeks ago, and replaced them with his own?’

  She gave a sigh. ‘Yes.’

  ‘What do you make of such behaviour?’

  Elena frowned slightly, having expected Adam’s next question to be something entirely different. And her own feelings, upon learning of the summary dismissal of the household staff that had been so loyal to her grandfather for so many years, had been ones of distress. Mrs Hodges, for example, had been housekeeper at Sheffield Park for many years, and only two years away from her retirement, when she might have expected to receive a small pension to keep her. Instead, after being dismissed, she had been left with no pension and no choice but to go and live with her eldest son in Skegness. Younger members of staff, like Jeremiah, had simply been tossed out into the world, to seek other employment where they could.

  She gave a shrug. ‘I would say that it is a typical example of Neville’s complete disregard for the welfare of others.’

  ‘And that is all you make of it?’

  Elena frowned slightly. ‘What else should I make of it?’

  ‘The possibility that Matthews perhaps dismissed the staff at Sheffield Park so that they could not be called to give evidence in your favour at your trial?’

  Elena’s stomach cramped nauseously at the mention of a trial. ‘I believe it is not uncommon for the new incumbent to replace the original servants with his own?’

  ‘Not uncommon, no,’ Adam allowed grimly. ‘But in this particular instance, it is certainly convenient.’

  ‘Not to those household servants.’

  ‘No,’ he acknowledged. ‘Jeremiah also seemed to be of the opinion that you were incapable of harming a single silver hair upon your grandfather’s head.’

  Elena’s chin rose defensi
vely. ‘Then Jeremiah is an excellent judge of character.’

  Adam gave a tight smile at the implied criticism of him. ‘My grandmother has also informed me that she still intends for you to travel back to London with her when she leaves here tomorrow morning.’

  ‘I have not encouraged her in that decision—’

  ‘Did I say that you had?’

  ‘No, but—’ Elena grimaced. ‘I accept that you cannot be best pleased at the idea.’

  ‘And would my displeasure bother you?’

  ‘Of course it would bother—’ She broke off abruptly to draw in several calming breaths. ‘I am sure that you would much rather I just removed myself from here without involving any of your family further in my—in my personal problems.’

  As Lady Cicely had encouraged her to do, Elena had confided the whole of the truth as to the reason for her hasty flight from Sheffield Park two months ago, secure in the knowledge that lady Cicely would not break her promise to her. Nor did she believe for a moment that that dear lady had broken that promise. No, Elena had no doubt that Adam’s request for her to attend him immediately in his study once dinner had ended was as a direct result of his conversation with Jeremiah. A conversation he had not indicated yet whether or not he believed.

  ‘You appear to be attributing me with thoughts and wishes which I do not believe I have expressed, either by word or deed.’

  Elena wished that she could at least see Adam’s face clearly rather than just those hollows and shadows created by the flickering candlelight. ‘Perhaps you have not stated them,’ she allowed. ‘But that does not mean you have not thought them.’

  ‘Indeed,’ Adam allowed drily after a brief pause, no longer sure what he ‘thought’ about this situation. His conversation with the groom had been…enlightening, to say the least, that gentleman having immediately leapt to Elena’s defence, after expressing his delight in knowing that no harm had come to her since her disappearance from Yorkshire.

  That Lady Cicely knew more of that situation than he, Adam had no doubts. He was also certain that Elena did not intend to share those same confidences with him. So Adam had little choice but to draw his own conclusions regarding the reasons for Elena’s flight from the unwanted attentions of her cousin.

  And, in view of his grandmother’s summing up of that young man’s character, a damning statement of fact completely vindicated by the Dowager Duchess of Royston’s social aversion to Sheffield, those conclusions were extremely unpleasant ones.

  All the more so when Adam considered the physical liberties he himself had taken with Elena so recently.

  It was a wonder she had not run screaming into the night, if what he suspected had happened to her should prove to be correct.

  Just the possibility of it was enough to warn Adam to exert caution with her now. ‘I have no objection to your accompanying my grandmother to London tomorrow,’ he stated evenly. ‘Although I have reservations as to what she hopes to accomplish by it. No matter what the circumstances leading up to your leaving Sheffield Park…’ he scowled as she saw Elena flinch ‘…the fact remains, innocent or guilty, that you still have the accusation of murder and theft to answer before you may even begin to think of rejoining society.’

  She gave him a sad smile. ‘I have never been a part of society, my lord,’ she explained as he raised a questioning brow. ‘My father’s death, followed by my mother’s, and then my grandfather’s, has meant that I have never been out of mourning long enough to ever venture into society.’

  ‘You have not missed much,’ Adam drawled dismissively. ‘But the fact remains, you must eventually return to Yorkshire in order to answer the charges made against you.’

  She repressed a shudder. ‘Where my cousin Neville is now magistrate.’

  ‘That is…unfortunate.’ Adam nodded grimly at this reminder. ‘But that does not prevent you from being represented by a reputable lawyer, a man who is able to point out the unfairness of such a trial taking place in that vicinity, given the circumstances.’

  She released a shaky breath. ‘With Neville in charge of my fortune until I reach the age of one and twenty, I do not have the means to employ such a lawyer—’

  ‘But I do.’ Adam stood up decisively.

  Elena blinked as he suddenly loomed very large and intimidating in the small confines of his private study. ‘You—you would be willing to help me in that regard?’

  ‘I feel someone must,’ he stated grimly. ‘And if I do not do so, then I believe my grandmother will choose to embroil herself in this affair even more than she has already done,’ he added.

  It was too much to hope, Elena acknowledged heavily, that Adam had made his offer of help because he believed her to be innocent of the accusations; instead he made it clear he was intervening solely to prevent his grandmother from involving herself any further in the tangle of Elena’s affairs.

  Adam knew, by the fact Elena now avoided meeting his gaze, that she believed his interest in this matter to be for his grandmother’s benefit only. An understandable assumption for her to have made, given the circumstances. It was also an erroneous one.

  The truth of the matter was, Adam dared not show any sign of personal preference for Elena in this situation, for fear that Matthews, once he knew of the Hawthorne family’s intervention in his affairs, should then claim that Adam’s interest in Elena was far from impartial.

  Which it undoubtedly was.

  Despite his initial reaction earlier, to learning Elena’s identity, Adam’s natural sense of logic had very quickly reasserted itself, allowing him to see her as incapable of killing anyone, let alone the grandfather she had so obviously loved.

  Nor, despite their intimacies the previous night, had she asked anything of him, as so many women would have done, other than that he at least listen to what she had to say in her defence, before he condemned her.

  That Elena had been treated so cruelly, and by one who should have been her protector, filled Adam with a burning rage completely at odds with the veneer of cool practicality he now presented to her. But he had no choice but to present that side to her, and everyone else, if he were to be of any help to her in this matter.

  ‘It is very kind of you, my lord—’

  ‘Kindness, be damned!’ he growled, wishing he dared take her in his arms and comfort her, but knowing that he could not, dare not, for fear he would want so much more from her if he once touched her again. For this to work at all he must remain aloof, from both her and her present situation. ‘I am not a kind man—’

  ‘I beg to differ.’

  ‘The truth is, I have never cared for men of Matthews’s ilk.’

  ‘You have only heard what manner of man I believe him to be.’

  ‘An opinion that my grandmother and the Dowager Duchess of Royston share.’

  ‘Even so—’

  ‘Do not forget I have also spoken to Jeremiah,’ Adam bit out firmly. ‘He is to return to Warwick tomorrow morning, but he has promised to be available if his testament as to your character should be needed at your trial—Elena!’ He barely had the chance to move forwards in time to catch her, as her face paled and she swayed on her feet, as if in danger of fainting a second time today.

  A move Adam knew to be a mistake the moment he held her in his arms again. He smelt and felt the softness of her dark hair beneath his chin, a mixture of lemons and flowers and ebony silk, as he lifted her lightness up into his arms and carried her across to the chair beside the unlit fireplace, before sitting down with her fragility cradled against his chest as she began to cry.

  ‘You really must cease your tears now,’ he murmured gruffly several minutes later as he offered her his silk handkerchief.

  Elena felt as if her heart were breaking, the tight control she had kept about her emotions this past two months having disintegrated completely under first Lady Cicely’s, and now Adam’s kindness. Admittedly, Adam claimed he was offering his assistance in an effort to spare his grandmother from any further i
nvolvement in her scandalous affairs, but his reasons for that kindness were unimportant at this moment; Elena felt as if she had been alone, and lonely, for so long now, her emotions frozen, that any show of kindness, for whatever reason, was sure to be her undoing.

  As it had been, the tears she should have shed two months ago, for the loss of her grandfather, and her innocence, were now falling hotly, and unchecked, wetting Adam’s waistcoat and shirt, she realised as she felt that dampness beneath her cheek.

  She sat up to take Adam’s handkerchief and begin mopping up those tears. ‘I am so sorry—’

  ‘There is no need for apology,’ he rasped, stilling the movements of her hand against his chest.

  ‘But—’ The words froze on Elena’s lips as she looked up to find Adam staring down at her intently in the candlelight even as she felt the wild tattoo of his heartbeat beneath the palm of her hand. An intensity of gaze levelled on the fullness of those parted lips even as she felt the stirring, swelling, of Adam’s arousal beneath the roundness of her bottom. ‘Adam…?’ she breathed her uncertainty at his physical response.

  His jaw clenched. ‘I believe it is time—past time!—you retired for the night.’

  ‘But—’

  ‘Do not argue, Elena—just go!’

  The tightness of his jaw and lips might be telling her to go, but the arms he still kept about her, and the increased swell of his arousal beneath her bottom, said the opposite. ‘Could I not just sit here, with you, for a little while longer?’

  He bared his teeth in a humourless smile. ‘I believe we both know that would not be a good idea.’ As if in confirmation of that claim, the stiffness of his erection moved hard and demanding against her tender flesh.

  Elena looked up at him shyly in the candlelight, at this physical display, despite all that he had learnt and heard of her today, that Adam still desired her. Against his will, perhaps, if his coolness towards her earlier today at luncheon, and the grimness of his expression now, was an indication, but that physical evidence of his desire was undeniable. Of course, physical desire was still not the love she had last night hungered for and craved from this man, but it was so much more than Elena had believed she would ever know from him again.