All the Hidden Sins

by Marian Lanouette

  “Hi, baby.”

  “Mom, I’m not a baby. You promised not to call me one anymore.” She heard the frustration in his voice. Oh, how she missed him. He’d always be her baby.

  “I know, Trev, but remember, I promised not to do it in front of other people, but I’m going to continue to do it when we’re alone, okay?”

  “All right. I missed you last night.”

  The crater in her heart spread. What kind of mother was she? The date and work weren’t more important than Trevor. Nothing was more important than him. Yet, she’d still forgotten to call three times in the last two weeks. Stress was no excuse. Tears filled her eyes.

  “I missed you too, Trev. I worked late last night. I’m sorry.” Now, I’m lying to him. What have I become?

  “It’s okay, Mommy. When am I going to see you?” He was still enough of a child that he switched between Mom and Mommy. She loved when he called her Mommy.

  “I’m taking you to dinner this week and your father might join us.”

  “Cool.”

  She smiled at the excitement in his voice. She hadn’t been that excited in a long time. Her nerves started to fray with the upcoming visit with Tommy. What’s he up to?

  “It is. How was school this week?”

  “Fine.”

  She smiled at his usual answer. “What did you learn?”

  “I don’t remember,” Trevor said.

  “You don’t remember? How come?”

  “I don’t remember,” Trevor’s voice squeaked.

  “Did you learn new words?” Kyra persisted.

  “Yes.”

  She laughed. Their conversations always went like this. She loved the routine of it, when she called. They spoke for another fifteen minutes. Her heart was empty without him, tears burned her eyes as she hung up.

  Last night she had gone to dinner with a cop. Tonight she was going to dinner with a mobster. Later this week, she’d have dinner with her soon-to-be ex and her son. To even out the score she should find a priest and have dinner with him to round out this insane soap opera she called her life.

  Kyra dressed in a hurry and drove to a bank she’d never used before. She purchased a bank money order for one thousand dollars and had the teller make it out to Tommy as trustee for Trevor. Her repayment into Trevor’s college fund. It filled her with joy. The payments had to be timed as not to raise questions about where she got the money. Afterward, she’d gone to another bank and got another money order for one thousand dollars for the divorce attorney she wanted to hire. After tucking the checks into her purse she headed home to clean her condo. With the house clean, she filled the bathtub with hot, steaming, fragrant water. Kyra turned off her cell phone before slipping into the tub. As the hot water eased her physical aches, she let out a soft sigh hoping it relaxed her a bit as the perils of the evening lay ahead of her.

  * * * *

  At nine on the dot she pulled into Phil’s driveway. She turned off the car radio as she waited at the gate to be announced. The guard acknowledged her, searched the car before he passed her through. Phil’s man, the one who’d attended the cremation, opened the front door.

  “We meet again.” She gave him a forced smile, hoping he didn’t read the fear behind it.

  “I’ll show you in. Phil’s waiting for you.” No smile, no conversation. He turned, leading the way.

  Walking down the familiar hallway, they came to Phil’s office. The man opened the door, and Phil invited her in with a hand gesture. What the hell? Phil’s still demonstrating who’s the boss. A freaking power play, for Christ’s sake. This so-called date was a mistake. One she’d suggested out of fear of retribution for turning him down.

  “Kyra, right on time. You look lovely tonight.” He took her hand.

  “Thank you.” She stood at attention.

  “Have a seat. I want to talk business before we start the pleasure part of our evening.”

  So this is the way it’s going to be. “Okay.”

  “Not curious?” He stared at her.

  “You’ll get to it when you’re ready.” Kyra never wavered nor broke eye contact with him.

  Laughing, he said, “You’re quite different from any other woman I’ve had the pleasure of knowing.”

  “How so?”

  “You’re direct. Though afraid, you don’t let the fear control you.”

  “What do you need from me?”

  “I wanted to take a minute to say thank you. Angelo said everything went well yesterday. You were courteous to him.” The bastard is trying to find out how I’m dealing with it.

  “Phil, I’m good at my job. I agreed to do one for you. Like all my customers, you got my best.”

  “I like dealing with people who do their jobs well. Are you hungry?”

  The change of subject caught her off guard. “Yes, I am. Where are we going?”

  “We’re heading to the shore for dinner, but first we’ll have hors d’oeuvres here. We’ll take the limo. You can pick up your car later. Is that all right with you?”

  “Yes.”

  “Did you enjoy your date last night?”

  She’d turned away then jerked back, eyeing him. “I’m not comfortable discussing my date with you. I’m sure you’d want me to extend the same courtesy to you.”

  A mean-spirited sound, something not quite a laugh came out of him. “Yes, I’d like the same courtesy. You fascinate me. While you work for me I need to understand your wants and needs.”

  “Fair enough.”

  “Let’s move to the living room for hors d’oeuvres.”

  He led her down the hall toward the front door and turned right into his living room. Spectacular. A floor-to-ceiling marble-and-granite fireplace caught her attention as she walked in. High ceilings, and a room with soothing beige-and-blue color scheme. Understated furniture of the best quality filled the room. It easily held fifty people or more. It all spelled money and comfort.

  “Beautiful,” Kyra said, spinning around to take it all in. The last time she was here she’d seen nothing, blinded by nerves. Get in, get out, had been her goal at the time.

  “I find it comfortable. I love reading in here. Ah, here’s Maria now.”

  The maid put down the appetizers as Kyra settled on the couch. After Maria left, Phil walked to the bar and pulled out two glasses. Kyra never took her eyes off him, following his every movement.

  “What can I get you to drink?”

  “Rum and coke.”

  He mixed the drinks, brought them over and handed her one, then settled on the couch next to her. He held out the tray of hors d’oeuvres to her.

  “Thanks.” She picked up a stuffed mushroom and popped it into her mouth, closing her eyes as she savored the taste. The best she’d ever had, though she’d expected nothing less from him.

  “I take it you like it.” He grinned.

  “Yes,” she said, studying the platter. She chose another mushroom, stuffed the whole thing into her mouth to halt further conversation.

  * * * *

  Phil enjoyed watching her eat. Not shy, Kyra exhibited a healthy appetite and didn’t push the food away like other women did. Phil followed her movements as she reached for the caviar and put some on a blini and placed it in her mouth. It was almost as good as eating it himself. Her eyes lit up with her pleasure. He reached for the caviar, sampled it, then smiled.

  “Are you enjoying the food?”

  “Yes. I’m not crazy about the caviar, it’s the first time I’ve had it. I do like the stuffed mushrooms.”

  Yes, he was enjoying her. “I’m glad. How do I differ from the gentleman you dated last evening?” Damn, he hadn’t meant to ask but his curiosity had gotten the better of him.

  “That’s a loaded question. Are you sure you want the answer?”

  “You continue to sur
prise me, Kyra. Yes, I want the answer.” More than he wanted her to know.

  * * * *

  Jake wondered what Kyra was up to tonight as he washed his dinner dishes. “It’s you and me, Brigh. I wasn’t smart enough to ask her out on a date.”

  The dog walked over, pushed her muzzle under his hand as her sad eyes looked up at him.

  After he’d gotten home last night he’d written down everything Kyra had told him about herself. He filed it with the stuff he’d dug up on her online. He draped the dish towel over his shoulder as he sat at the table. He’d created a basic form years ago to organize the information he had gathered on a case. He found it helped him to plug the holes. Kyra’s chart looked like Swiss cheese.

  Was he looking at this wrong? If he divided it into threes, one column for motherhood, one for wife, and one for gambler, what did it tell him? He played around with the info on a second sheet but it didn’t reveal a lot. Carl Stack’s Missing Persons’ case on the gambler was also on his mind. Did Stack’s missing guy connect to Kyra, and if so, how? Did she owe the same people money?

  He was positive she wasn’t going to be happy when she learned he’d researched her.

  * * * *

  “You’re both gentlemen. I like that in a man. Second, you’re each on opposite ends of the spectrum…” Crap, said too much. It has to be nerves.

  “Opposite spectrums of what?” Phil sat up straighter.

  “Personalities.” She tried to cover.

  “You’re lying. You went out with a cop last night. I’m not stupid. I don’t hire someone without checking them out.”

  She fidgeted with her hands, as total unadulterated fear consumed her. What about Trevor? Was he safe?

  “Kyra?”

  In for a penny. As this man had said, he now owned her. “I met him this week at a party and made plans for dinner Friday night. Turns out he’s a cop in Wilkesbury.”

  Kyra watched her words land. Phil’s facial expressions were a study for a clown or actor—first it went from a deep-lined frown to a wide toothy grin. Crap, she’d put Jake in Phil’s path. The bastard knew all along who she’d gone out with last night. Did he have her followed?

  “Yes, I can see how we’re different.”

  “Not different. You both seem dedicated to your professions.”

  He nodded for her to go on.

  “It’s why I’m not comfortable talking about it, besides the normal reasons. It’s awkward talking to one man about another.”

  As he studied her she tried to guess the workings of his mind. Was he wondering if he’d be able to use her cop? Jake Carrington didn’t strike her as corrupt.

  “What kind of cop is he?”

  “Homicide.” Her eyes roamed the room, not focusing on any one item, as little points of ice raced up her neck. She didn’t dare make eye contact with Phil.

  “Relax, I’m not going to turn you in. What’s his name?” Did he already know? Kyra wondered.

  “I can’t tell you,” she said, as she turned back to him. “He has nothing to do with you. And most likely it will be our first and last date.”

  “Why not, is he married?”

  If she wasn’t mistaken, Phil was jealous.

  “No. My life isn’t mine anymore. Why drag someone else into it.”

  “So you like him?”

  “He’s nice enough.”

  “It’s not like you to be evasive, Kyra,” he said, staring her down. She dropped her eyes to the table.

  “I’m not being evasive. I didn’t talk about you because you never crossed my mind last night.” Shit, I shouldn’t’ve said that. “I didn’t even tell him I had a date tonight. I understand the rules, Phil. Continuing to date him is a problem. I decided last night it was my first and last date with him.”

  “But you liked him?” he insisted.

  She didn’t understand where his jealousy came from. She owed him nothing, for Christ’s sake.

  “Yes, I do.” He watched her struggle before she continued. “He asked me out again.”

  “What did you say?”

  “He’s going to call me next week.”

  “Did he spend the night?” She almost jumped out of her skin at the anger in his voice.

  “It’s none of your business, but the answer’s no.”

  “Why?”

  This whole line of questioning’s ridiculous.

  He must’ve realized he’d scared her and backed off. “I’m sorry. You’re right. It’s none of my business. Are you ready for dinner?”

  “Yes, if I eat any more of the appetizers, I’ll be stuffed.”

  * * * *

  What just happened here? Anger pumped off of Phil and wrapped around her like a boa constrictor. He’d no right to ask those questions, but in them she found her answer to whether she should date Jake again. The relationship needed to end before it started. I’ll use a reconciliation with Tom to put him off. It saddened her, but what choice did she have? Cops don’t love criminals.

  God, she’d lost her appetite but didn’t dare beg off now. Stuck with Phil for the next couple of hours, she decided when dinner was done, she’d go to the casino to let off some steam.

  On the drive to the restaurant she ignored Phil’s pissy mood. Why the hell had she suggested tonight? She had the perfect out yesterday. Boy, did she screw up. Her relationship with Phil needed to stay a business arrangement, nothing more.

  It took thirty minutes to reach the five-star restaurant. A swanky place overlooking the ocean in Rhode Island. It was obvious he was trying to impress her. The new black dress she bought this morning fit in well with the atmosphere and the clientele at the place he had chosen. She’d put her hair up for the evening, though it was impossible to contain all her curls. She’d hoped the ’do appeared businesslike instead of messy. A strand of pearls at her throat and pearl earrings were the only jewelry she’d worn.

  Phil seemed to be a regular. Everyone greeted him with deference, from the maître d’ to the waitstaff. They were escorted to a table with a beautiful view of the water. The maître d’ started to pull her chair out but Phil brushed him away and did it himself, but not before he slipped the maître d’ some cash. With some ceremony, the waiter presented their menus. Next he draped their napkins over their laps. Amused, she turned her attention to the sea. The three-quarter moon reflected off the water, a magical light beckoning her. The ocean resembled a smooth, dark plate of glass. She realized she wanted to share this scene with Jake not Phil. Phil’s question pulled her back to the here and now.

  “Is the restaurant to your liking?” he asked.

  What’s with this guy? “It’s great.”

  “I’m glad you like it. The fish here’s excellent.”

  “I’m not crazy about fish.”

  “Steak then?”

  “Yes.” She smiled at him.

  “Steak it is. I ordered wine instead of cocktails. Do you prefer a cocktail?”

  “No, wine’s good for me.” Killer first dates. How stupid of her to make two in one weekend.

  “Are you nervous, Kyra?”

  Déjà vu. Didn’t Jake ask me the same exact question last night? “No, I’m not. This is my second date in nine years.”

  “The first being last night?” He cocked his head and pinned her with a stare.

  “Yes. I forgot how stressful they can be.” Yep, déjà vu.

  “Relax, I don’t bite.” He grinned. “Unless, of course, I want to.”

  “Funny. What are you having?” She steered the subject to another topic.

  “What do you want?”

  “We’re not talking about dinner, are we?”

  “No. I’m interested in what makes you tick.”

  Shit, what makes me tick? It’s none of your damn business, Phil. Deep down she understood he’d use whatever she
told him against her at a later date. A point she had to hold in the forefront of her mind. She wanted and needed to guard her private life from the likes of him.

  “I’m a boring person.” Kyra tore her eyes from the ocean to meet his questioning gaze.

  “I doubt that. Look at the job you have. Not many people do what you do.”

  “It’s a simple and necessary job. Why don’t you tell me about you? You’re a blank slate to me.”

  “I keep my life private on purpose, Kyra. If this comes to anything, I’ll share.”

  “Why don’t you tell me what’s not private then.” Will he kill me if he doesn’t like what I say or do? This is excruciating. How many more hours are left of this date? The clang of her machine called to her.

  “It seems like work, doesn’t it?” A mind reader or is he bored too?

  “It does. Why’s that?”

  “Do you always answer a question with a question?”

  “No more than you do.”

  “Clever girl.” He laughed.

  The waiter took their orders. As they worked through dinner and another bottle of wine, the conversation became easier. She had to be careful the wine didn’t loosen her tongue too much. Phil’s the boss, she reminded herself more than once and held back. When he relaxed, Phil proved to be a good date—attentive, funny, and knowledgeable in many areas, though he never revealed anything personal about himself. They left the restaurant at one thirty in the morning. The ride back to his house became awkward. Around two they pulled into his driveway. Phil knocked on the glass between them and the driver. The chauffeur lowered the window.

  “Angelo, we’ll be fine, give us a minute here.”

  “Okay, boss.” Watching him exit the car, she wondered what Phil wanted.

  “I enjoyed myself. I hope you did too.”

  “I did.”

  He took her hand and made circles on her palm with his finger. Is this guy for real? She didn’t laugh or pull away. She wasn’t sure what she should do.

  “You’re a patient woman. Would you like to come in for a nightcap?”