Seared by Desire

by Jennifer T. Alli

  When Abigail pulled away, Sara fell to the ground her strength drained. Guards rushed to surround her, quickly voicing their concerns. “Lady Sara, what are you doing? Please go back to the fire, we’ll deal with these intruders.”

  “I’m fine,” she protested. “And these aren’t intruders, this is my friend Abi.”

  “Lady Sara, these people don’t have good intentions, we can all see that.”

  She struggled to her feet, using the arms offered to her for support. “Like I told Matthew most fire elementals look dangerous and are happy to look that way.”

  “They threatened to burn the estate down.”

  “It’s just her way of saying hello. Trust me, I’m fine.”

  “Sara, what’s wrong with you? Why are you this weak? Why couldn’t I feel the strength of your flame?”

  “Later Abi,” she said dismissively, knowing full well that she had no intention of telling her anything. Sara turned back to the guards that surrounded her, their concern for her well being evident on their faces. Her cheeks ached from having to force herself to smile when happiness was the furthest thing from her mind but she made the corners of her lips rise seemingly cheerfully. “I’m leaving today.”

  “What?” The guards around her immediately protested. “Lady Sara, you can’t go. What will Lord Lucian say? He’ll bring the army back today when he finds out you’ve gone.”

  “There’s no need to tell him anything,” she lied. “I’m just going with my friend to visit my family who I haven’t seen in a while. They’ll be able to take better care of me there and in a few days I’ll come home fully recovered. It’s a surprise for Lucian.” The guards didn’t look convinced by her words. “I’m just going back to my people for a little while. There’s no need to look so worried. Is there Abi?”

  Abigail frowned at Sara’s words but when she saw the look in her eyes realisation dawned. They had been friends so long that sometimes words weren’t needed for them to communicate and this was one of those times. “There’s nothing to worry about, we’ll be back soon enough.”

  “See?”

  “Shall we have someone pack for you Lady Sara?” They conceded reluctantly.

  “No, I have things where I’m going.” She studiously refused to call the village where she’d grown up home. This was her home now and she was only leaving to protect it.

  “Shall we have Lance saddled my Lady?”

  At least I won’t be walking into the lion’s den alone. “Yes please.” She swayed on her feet again but managed to remain upright mainly because of the crush of bodies around her that prevented her from falling.

  One of the guards turned to Abigail, frowning intently before he spoke, clearly unwilling to communicate with the woman who was taking their Lady away from them. “Lady Sara is sick, I presume you know how to care for her.”

  “Sick with what?”

  “We don’t know. We thought it was an illness only fire elementals could get. She must be near fire at all times. Please take care of her.”

  “Sara, is this true?”

  There was no point in denying it and if Abigail insisted on taking her away from the estate then she would have to know at some point or Sara would die and she couldn’t afford to die. Lucian needed her. “Yes.”

  “Why didn’t you say so?” Abigail scolded softly. Fire covered the skin of her hand and she pressed her palm to the bare skin of Sara’s arm immediately noting the colour returning to her friend’s skin.

  Strength immediately returned to Sara’s limbs as the heat of Abigail’s flame seeped into her, the fire so much more potent than the one’s she’d been sitting in over the last few days. Her body instinctively moved closer to Abigail’s trying to stay near the source of her new strength.

  “My Lady?” Sara turned to the voice, the first genuine smile of the day creeping over her face when she saw Lance in front of her. “My Lady would you like some of us to escort you?”

  Yes! Her mind screamed but she kept the words to herself as she climbed into Lance’s saddle. “No, I’ll be fine by myself. Most fire elementals don’t appreciate the presence of outsiders, I wouldn’t want anyone to be uncomfortable. I have Abigail with me, I’ll be fine.”

  “As you wish Lady Sara but what should we do if Lord Lucian returns before you?”

  Lucian… Her heart clenched painfully at the reminder that she was leaving him and there was a possibility that she wouldn’t be able to return to his side. Her grip on the reins faltered and she almost slid from her perch. Abigail moved quickly, leaping into the saddle behind her and letting her flame strengthen her again. Sara’s eyes closed, the lids preventing those around her from seeing the emotional turmoil she was going through. I have to do this. I have to protect Lucian's people because they’re my people too. She clenched the reins so tightly that her knuckles became white and smiled widely. “If Lucian comes home before me.” Which in all likelihood he will. “I want you to tell him this exactly, word for word.”

  “Of course my Lady.”

  “I want you to tell him to rest first and foremost, to make sure that he recovers from any injuries he may have gotten in battle. Don’t give him the second half of the message unless he’s well.” The guards nodded eagerly and she could almost see the wheels in their heads turning as they sought to memorise her words. “When he’s well I want you to tell him that I’ve gone to Shoreditch and if he wants to come and see me he’s more than welcome. Finally, I want you to tell him that I love him. I love him more than anything and that I had to go. Is that all right? Will you tell him for me?”

  “Of course Lady Sara,” the guards responded eagerly.

  Noting that the fire elementals at the gates were shifting restlessly in their saddles, Sara decided it was time to leave. Her people’s reputation for violence was well deserved and she had often been on the receiving end of aggression when those around her became bored.

  “Thank you for everything you’ve done for me.”

  “It is an honour to serve the Lady of Light. We’ll see you in a few days.”

  She choked back a sob. “Of course.” Smiling, she urged Lance into a trot; her head held high as she bravely went to face her fate.

  “Lady Sara!” Matthew called frantically as he ran after her horse. “Lady Sara, where are you going?”

  Sara didn’t allow Lance to slow, forcing him to maintain their speed despite Matthew’s desperate attempt to reach her. If she slowed down she wasn’t sure she would be able to leave. “I’m going back to the fire elementals!” she shouted. A single tear rolled down her face as they crossed the estate’s threshold. “I’ll be back in a few days,” she lied. Digging her heels into Lance’s side made the horse’s trot transform into a wild gallop, the distance between Sara and her new home increasing as her tears flowed unhindered down her cheeks now that no one could comment on them.

  Taking the reins from Sara’s limp fingers, Abigail directed Lance in the correct direction, the estate quickly fading out of sight. “You lied to them Sara, you’re not going to be back in a few days. If what the oracle said is true then you’re probably not going to survive after you’ve destroyed our enemies and even if you do manage it Elder Geoffrey says you’ll never return here or go anywhere unescorted. You’re too valuable to us now.”

  “I know that,” she sobbed, her vision becoming blurry as tears filled her eyes.

  “So why did you lie Sara? You didn’t used to lie. You’re the most honest person I know. Has living with them changed you that much?”

  “Living with them has changed me Abigail but that isn’t why I lied.”

  “Tell me,” she pleaded.

  “I lied because I didn’t want them to worry. I didn’t want them to sacrifice themselves trying to save me because you would have killed them if they’d tried to protect me wouldn’t you?”

  “Of course. I do whatever I have to to complete my mission. That’s why I’m the best at what I do.”

  “And that’s exactly why I did
it.”

  “Are they that important to you? I couldn’t sense your heat Sara, you could have escaped.”

  “What’s important to Lucian is important to me.”

  “More important than your life?”

  “Of course.”

  Abigail’s eyes narrowed as realisation dawned upon her. “By Lucian, do you mean Lord Lucian of the vampires?”

  “Yes.”

  “What has he got to do with anything? We knew that you’d taken shelter with the vampires but I thought you’d just made friends with one of them and she was hiding you.”

  “Lucian isn’t just a Lord, he’s going to be King any day now and he’s the only person who can save my life. It’s only because of him that I’m even alive right now. He’s the one the oracle was talking about, the one who can cool the flame. And despite the fact you claim to be my friend you’re taking me away from him and killing me in the process.”

  Abigail’s grip on the reins faltered for a moment at Sara’s words. “Sara, I’d never hurt you.”

  “Then what do you call this then?” she shouted, lashing out in anger. “You may not be the one that takes my head but you might as well be. Why couldn’t you just leave me alone? I was happy with Lucian…more than happy. I’ve never felt such joy in my life Abigail! I love him dammit, I love him and you’re taking me away from him to die.”

  “Sara, if there was any other way….”

  “You’d what? Let me go? Don’t lie to me and don’t you dare try and lie to yourself to make yourself feel better about what you’re doing. Yes, you were raised to put the mission before all else but I was raised to think I was nothing, less than nothing and I’ve changed why can’t you?”

  “Sara…” she groaned, unsure of how to defend herself against such harsh but truthful words.

  “Don’t say anything Abigail, unless you plan to let me go then I’d rather not hear anything. Just leave me alone.”

  Hours passed without a word passing between the two, Lance’s hooves easily eating up the distance between the Whitechapel estate and Sara’s former home. The terrain became increasingly familiar and Sara realised that she was closer to her people than she had ever realised.

  “What’s he like?” Abigail asked, tired of the silence that filled the air. Whenever she and Sara were together normally there wasn’t a moment of silence, they talked constantly and the strained quiet between them was grating on her nerves.

  “What’s who like?”

  “Lord Lucian.”

  Though her heart ached at the idea of leaving him behind it still soared at the sound of his name. “Lucian is everything I ever wanted and more. When I’m with him my heart beats so fast that I’m not sure my chest can contain it. And even when I’m not I still feel protected, cared for and loved.”

  “I’ve heard of the vampire Lord, he’s very strong it’s no wonder that you want him.”

  Sara groaned, rolling her eyes in frustration. She had forgotten how fixated her people were on strength. “My feelings for him have nothing to do with how strong he is Abigail. Do you remember your wedding day?”

  “How could I forget?” she scoffed dismissively.

  “I thought I was destined to be alone forever, that I’d never find someone who wasn’t disgusted by the very idea of me let alone find someone willing to marry me. Lucian has changed all of that. We’re engaged to be married Abigail as soon as his war is over we’re meant to be wed. I love him Abigail, I love him more than anything in the world and that wouldn’t change even if he were weak. My feelings for him would still be the same if he were a fisherman. That’s what it means to really love someone and to want to spend the rest of your life with them.”

  Abigail winced, shifting uncomfortably in the saddle. “That’s going to be difficult if not impossible Sara. Elder Geoffrey won’t let you leave if you survive and I’ve heard talk that he wants you and his son to marry. I think he wants to breed your strength into his bloodline.”

  It took a few seconds for the words to sink in but when they did Sara tossed back her head and laughed loudly. “He can’t stand the sight of me and yet he wants us to become family? Not that it’s much different to how things are with my actual family but it’s never going to happen. I’m not going to marry anyone but Lucian. Elder Geoffrey can take a long walk off a very, very short cliff. Look at me Abigail; I’m so weak that I can’t even stand by myself. Seraphina is gone. Her fire burned out but because Lucian was there I survived. I’ve gone back to exactly what I was before and Seraphina has gone back to wherever she came from.” A very believable lie if I do say so myself, she praised, surprised that she’d managed to invent such a plausible lie with no forward planning.

  “What have they done to you Sara? You keep lying and don’t try to deny it. Even if I weren’t your best friend and couldn’t tell by the slight quiver in your voice that you were telling lies, Elder Geoffrey briefed me fully about Seraphina before I embarked on this mission. You can never be free of Seraphina Sara. You’re the child of flame, the physical embodiment of fire, you were born that way and you’ll die that way. Your entire life has been built on her. You could never manipulate fire properly like everyone else because Seraphina hadn’t awoken but the flames of others never once hurt you. Even your ability to make swords is because of her Sara. You couldn’t protect yourself using fire but you could absorb the strength of the flame and put it to good use. Seraphina is alive and well because you’re alive and well. The only way to be rid of her is for you to die.”

  Despite the warmth that Abigail was feeding directly into her skin, a chill rushed through Sara as they crossed the threshold into fire elemental territory. Eyes that had once looked at her with disgust now regarded her in awe as the horses trotted calmly through the crowds. Spontaneous applause ripped through the air when they stopped in front of the everfire at the village’s centre.

  Though she already knew the answer, Sara turned her head slightly, whispering desperately to Abigail. “Let me go. Let me go home…to Lucian.”

  Dismounting easily, she held out a flaming hand to Sara. “I can’t. You know I can’t.”

  Eyes narrowed in disgust, Sara’s friendship died as she refused the hand offered to her and dismounted Lance unaided. “I know that you won’t. I also know that this friendship is over. Clearly I’m the only one that considers the other enough of a friend to fight for their life and happiness.” The words left her mouth on a pained sigh and she backed away from Abigail using Lance’s bulk for support.

  “Sara!” Geoffrey crowed happily, rushing forward his hands open wide as though he intended to embrace her. “Sara, we’re so glad you’ve returned.”

  Returned? Does the man have no shame? And why is he talking to me like that? As though he’s genuinely missed me and cared for me before I left. Does he really plan to hug me? He continued his approach unaware of her inner turmoil. The bastard really plans to hug me! “Don’t come any closer!” she shrieked, righteous indignation giving her courage. “I haven’t returned of my own free will. Make no mistake; I don’t want to be here. I want to go home.”

  “Sara,” a soft voice began.

  Sara turned at the sound of her mother’s voice, watching as her mother and father made their way through the crowd to reach her. The red curls she wore long were cut short to frame her mother’s aging face while the striking blue eyes that stared back at her in a reflection gazed at her from within her father’s face. She instinctively took a step back. “What are you doing here?”

  “We’re your parents Sara,” her father intoned.

  “I haven’t had parents for a very long time now. My so-called parents disowned me. I have no family.” Except Lucian and Lance, her mind corrected.

  “We’re your parents Sara and we’re proud of you,” her mother responded.

  The look of shocked anguish on her mother’s face served only to anger Sara and she sorely wished she had the strength to hit her…hard. “Proud? You’re proud of sending your only daught
er, your only child, off to her death? You’re as bad as my supposed best friend.” Blinking, she struggled to keep her weakness at bay but with no heat her body faltered and she collapsed to the ground, trying desperately to stay conscious. “All of you just stay away from me. I want nothing to do with you. I want to go home. Don’t expect any co-operation on my part.”

  Geoffrey’s smile vanished at her words, his familiar frown quickly taking its place. “Fine Sara, if you wish to be difficult about this then let me show you just how difficult I can be. What we do is for the good of our people. You must accept that.”

  Sara blinked in confusion for a few moments before throwing her head back in riotous laughter. “The good of our people? You want to use me as a weapon to murder innocent people and for what? So that you can look stronger? Fire elementals are feared by everyone, there’s no need to do this. If living with Lucian has taught me anything it’s that peace is precious. Maybe you should take lessons from him.”

  “I’ve heard enough,” Geoffrey snapped. “Take her back to my home and once she’s there, tie her up to make sure she can’t escape. No one is to talk to her alone without my express permission. What we do will go down in history as our greatest triumph and no one will dare challenge us again. We cannot afford to let the selfishness of one person affect our victory.”

  Men rushed to obey Geoffrey’s command, unceremoniously lifting her from the ground by her arms and holding her dead weight between them. Her eyes were aglow with hatred but she didn’t struggle against the unwanted hold under her arms. There was no point in wasting her strength against so many strong fire elementals. The wheels in her head were already turning, assessing the situation to find the best opportunity to escape. She had no intention of sacrificing her life for such a selfish reason especially when her death would impact Lucian so heavily. I’m going to escape and I’m going to see Lucian again. I don’t care what I have to do…I will make my way back to him. The vow filled her with strength as she was led away from Lance and her so called friends and family.