My Life as the Ugly Stepsister

by Juli Alexander

  Baseball. Those tickets were probably worth hundreds of dollars.

  I was just starting to get irritated with him when he said, “I would have done it for nothing, but my dad needed something to justify all the fuss.”

  “What fuss?”

  He motioned to Mojo. “He’ll probably bark at night at first. Until he gets settled.”

  “He doesn’t bark.” Mojo had gotten bored and sat down.

  “Even if he’s outside with another dog and someone walks by with their dog?”

  I winced. “Okay, maybe then he would bark.”

  Jonathan smiled. “It’ll be cool. Buddy could use a friend.”

  “You named your dog Buddy?”

  A little color rose in his cheeks. “Uh, my little brother named him.”

  “Oh.”

  “Let me bring Buddy out front. We can see how they do before we try putting them in the fence together.”

  I dragged Mojo around the front yard and he peed on every bush we passed. “You’re on empty,” I told him. “Get over it.”

  Jonathan’s dog led him through the gate on a mud-splattered leash. Buddy was a little smaller than Mojo. He was a tan mutt, and he got right to business sniffing Mojo’s butt.

  At first, Mojo was too busy with his nose in Buddy’s rear end to get upset. Then, he growled and started to attack. “No, Mojo,” I snapped, holding tight to the leash.

  Jonathan dragged Buddy a few feet away and we tried again. “Give them a minute.”

  But Jonathan looked up and met my eyes and suddenly I couldn’t think. He had the most beautiful liquid brown eyes. Like the amber glass beads on my mother’s favorite bracelet. My family had green eyes. I’d always thought of brown as dull, but his were beautiful.

  Unfortunately, he was still talking and I had no idea what I’d missed.

  “Huh?” I said, like a total dork.

  His lips curved into a smile. “I said let’s put them together in the fence and let them play.”

  This time Mojo tried to hump Buddy. My face flamed.

  I’d never been so embarrassed in my life. “Sorry,” I mumbled to Jonathan after we pulled the dogs apart. “It’s not a sexual thing, you know. It’s about dominance.” Oh my God. Had I really just said that? To a guy?

  Jonathan laughed. “It’s normal. Don’t worry about it. I’ve had Buddy for six years. I’ve seen a lot of, um, humping.”

  We stood awkwardly watching the dogs romp around the back yard. Jonathan was standing, but he wasn’t still. He seemed kind of edgy, like he was as uncomfortable as I was. He kept fidgeting and moving. Putting his hands in his short pockets. Taking them back out. He swiped at the lock of chestnut hair that had fallen across his forehead.

  “They seem to be doing okay, now.” Mojo and Buddy were running at full speed around the back yard.

  “Yeah, uh.” Jonathan bounced in place. “Do you want to sit down on the porch?”

  “Sure. I guess.” A couple of chairs and a long metal swing, practically a couch, with big cushions formed a sitting area on the back patio.

  Jonathan pointed to the swing. “That’s Buddy’s bed. I wouldn’t recommend sitting there.”

  I stopped. “Why? Would he growl at me?”

  “No. It’s just really not clean.”

  With a last glance at the sofa, I sat in one of the chairs. The seat was warm, and the sun beat down on me as I tried to make conversation. “You go to Plum with Caroline?”

  “Yeah.”

  Silence. An uncomfortable silence followed. The sun-lightened hair on his calves between his knee-length athletic shorts and running shoes drew my attention.

  “So you go to Catholic school?” he asked.

  I nodded. “My grandmother insisted. Dad was raised Catholic, but they didn’t have a school where he grew up. My grandmother prays the rosary every day. She’s beyond devout. She’s practically a saint. She probably won’t even have to wait until she dies to get into heaven. They’ll probably just beam her up or something.” Why was I babbling?

  “Do the nuns rap you on the knuckles with a ruler? I always wondered.”

  “No. We only have one token nun. The rest are just normal teachers. And we have Mass every morning and religion class every day. It’s really not that different. Plus, they used to paddle kids at public school.”

  He shuddered. “Thank God they don’t do that anymore.”

  “My dad took a few beatings.”

  The sun brought out the different shades of brown in his hair. “Do you have cliques just like public school?”

  “Probably worse. We’ve been with the same kids forever and there aren’t that many of us. Everybody wears the same uniform but you can tell who’s rich by their jewelry and their purse. There are a lot of doctor’s kids.”

  He raised a brow. “Catholic guys carry purses?”

  I rolled my eyes. “Just the girls. And before you ask, mine is a Target special. I don’t own a Dooney and Bourke. I don’t have two hundred and fifty dollars for that crap.”

  “Two hundred and fifty bucks!” His jaw dropped. “For one of those ugly purses. You’ve got to be kidding me.”

  I shook my head.

  “Do you know how many games I could buy with that?”

  I shrugged. “A lot?”

  “Five. Five brand new games for my Xbox 360.” He looked at me with a hopeful expression. “Are you a gamer?”

  “Not really. I like playing, but not enough to spend all my money on it.”

  The sliding glass door opened behind us and a woman came out with a little boy at her heels.

  “You must be Ally,” Jonathan’s mother said with a big smile. “According to Diane, we’ll be seeing a lot of you around here.”

  “Yes,” I said, feeling stupid. “Nice to meet you.” She didn’t look much like Jonathan, but the little boy did.

  The little boy ran straight at Jonathan’s knees like a runaway train. Jonathan scooped him up, turned him upside down, and made him giggle. His Spongebob Squarepants t-shirt fell over his angelic face revealing an adorable tanned tummy.

  “This is Ben. He’s four,” Jonathan’s mom said. “And you should call me Marianne.”

  I nodded. “Thanks for keeping Mojo here.”

  “No problem. Bill, my husband took the bribe, but Jonathan and I love dogs. Ben too.” She had chin length reddish hair and wore a striped blouse, capris, and sandals.

  Jonathan had righted Ben and set him on the ground. “Mommy,” Ben said, running over to her. “Can I play with Buddy?”

  “Not right now, Ben. Remember how we talked about it. Buddy has to get to know his new friend first.”

  Ben pouted.

  His mother turned to me. “I just wanted to say hi. I’d better get the rugrat back inside.” She moved back toward the door.

  “Thank you,” I said, not at all sure what to say.

  “Go with Mom, Ben,” Jonathan said when his brother didn’t follow.

  Ben gave a dramatic sigh and went in with his mother.

  I looked at Jonathan who’d sat back down. “So, Ben named Buddy, huh?”

  Jonathan froze.

  “Two years before he was even born?”

  “Uh, yeah.” Jonathan’s knee bobbed up and down. “Okay, so I named him. But in my defense I was only seven.”

  I cracked up. He was so busted. Buddy! “Not real original of you.”

  “Hey,” he said gracing me with a grin. “You named your dog Mojo. Is that for voodoo? Or Austin Powers?”

  Crap. “Actually,” I lowered my voice, “it’s for MoJo Jojo.”

  “What?” He scooted his chair closer.

  “Mojo Jojo.”

  “I can’t even hear you. Just say it.” He moved another foot in my direction.

  “Mojo Jojo. You know from the Power Puff girls.”

  Jonathan busted out laughing.

  “It’s not that funny. Look at his face. He sort of looks like a brown and black monkey. Just like the villain on the cartoo
n.”

  “That’s just,” he laughed so hard he could barely speak, “sad.”

  I put my hands on my hips. “I was only eight.” Okay, so I was ten, but he doesn’t have to know that. “It’s not like I’m a devoted fan or anything.” Anymore. “It’s just the name of my dog.” Mojo dashed over to lap up some water from the giant bowl and then ran off again.

  Jonathan’s eyes met mine, and I could see the curiosity mixed with his amusement. I was starting to feel less insulted and more, um, like I was just realizing how really cute Jonathan was.

  “Okay,” I said. “We were both lame. How about we never mention this again. To anyone?”

  “Deal,” he said and held out his hand.

  I was used to shaking hands with my mom and dad’s friends, but not with guys my age. Okay, don’t be wimpy. Don’t think about how cute he is.

  I reached out and took his hand. Both of us had dog slime on our hands anyway, it wasn’t like…

  Oh. I stopped breathing. It totally was like holding hands. Like my skin against his. Only it wasn’t going to last long enough.

  My eyes met his, and I got lost for a minute.

  He recovered first, released my hand, and twisted to get a look at the dogs.

  I wouldn’t have noticed if the dogs had morphed into dragons and flown away.

  My mouth was parched from the sunshine or the contact, or both. I jumped up. “I should probably get Mojo and go.”

  He stood reminding me that he was several inches taller than I was, his height a perfect complement to mine.

  “Right.” He gestured to where the two pets were playing. “I think they’ll be okay.”

  “I’ll bring him next week,” I said, backing away. “Thanks for helping. If my aunt kept him in Knoxville, I’d never get to see him.”

  “No problem.”

  It turned out that there actually was a problem because Mojo wouldn’t stop playing to let me hook him on the leash. “He doesn’t really mind,” I admitted.

  “He doesn’t even come when you call him?” His tone of voice brought the word incredulous to mind.

  “Well, yeah. Usually.” He came if he was in the mood to come in, which was never.

  “Buddy comes when I call him. He’s not really trained, but he can do that.”

  “Prove it,” I said. “Maybe if he comes to you, then Mojo will get close enough for me to catch him.”

  “Good idea,” he said. “Buddy. Here Buddy.”

  His dog-calling voice was kind of cute. The melodic sing-song quality made him seem a lot more vulnerable.

  Especially when Buddy took one look at Jonathan and decided not to come.

  His cheeks turned red and he wouldn’t look at me. “Buddy,” he called in a firmer tone. “Get. Over. Here.”

  I cracked up. I couldn’t help it.

  Jonathan gave me a sheepish grin. “He, uh, usually comes.”

  “He’s probably just distracted by Mojo. Maybe I should call Buddy and you should call Mojo.”

  He shrugged. “Couldn’t hurt.”

  “Buddy,” I said walking towards the sliding glass door. “Buddy.” I felt stupid using my dog voice in front of Jonathan. Before I could glance at Jonathan, Buddy came running right up to me.

  “Traitor,” Jonathan muttered.

  I leaned down to pet Buddy, and Mojo ran up to get my attention back. I grabbed his collar, and hooked on the leash.

  Buddy decided to pay attention to Jonathan since Mojo couldn’t run off and play.

  With a grin, I said, “Piece of cake.”

  He rolled his eyes. “I think maybe two dogs are more than twice the trouble.”

  I started toward the gate with my dog, and Jonathan held Buddy’s collar while we went out. “Thanks again,” I said. I really didn’t want to get a crush on this guy. Crushes never turned out well for me.

  I scanned the street in front of Dad’s house, but Mom’s car wasn’t there yet. I guessed I’d have to go in and talk to Diane.

  The sound of an engine coming from the other direction caught my attention and I turned. Mom pulled up to the curb in front of Jonathan’s house. I strode over and opened the back door. Mojo bounded in, and I climbed in the front.

  “You left your cell phone in the car,” Mom said. “I’ve been waiting forever.”

  “Really? How long’s it been?”

  “I’ve been here for twenty-one minutes,” Mom said.

  So why was she just pulling up. Unless… “Were you hiding down the street?”

  “Yes,” she said unapologetically. “I stopped about six houses down and watched for you.” To the eye, she was a perfectly coordinated and confident woman. Inside, apparently, not so much.

  “I know you didn’t want to see Diane, but you could have come and got me.”

  “I didn’t want to interrupt.” She eyed me over the top of her sunglasses. “How’d it go? Do you think they’ll get along?”

  “Yeah,” I said, reaching back to pet Mojo. “They did good.”

  “It probably helps that they’ve both been neutered. They should do that to men.”

  “Mom—” I started.

  “I know,” she said. “What would Dr. Phil say?”

  But she was grinning as she pulled away from the curb. “How about spending the day with me? I’ll take you back to your dad’s tonight.”

  “Sounds great.” I grabbed some moist towlettes from the glove compartment to wipe off the dog slime. I rarely got to hang out with Mom on a weekday, and I wanted to spend some time with Mojo. He probably thought I’d left him for some stupid guy. Like my mother was leaving me. Oops. Being bitter. I could almost see myself blowing Mojo off to spend time with Jonathan, and that scared me. I’d never teased a guy before and had him tease back. I was pretty sure I’d been flirting, something I would have sworn I couldn’t manage to do.

  Chapter Five

  Boys will always notice your hot stepsister first.

  —Ally’s Brutal Teen Truths

  Caroline was hanging out downstairs in the family room when Mom dropped me off. “Hey,” she said, from her cross-legged perch on the couch. “I’m glad you’re here. I’m bored to tears.”

  “Where’s your mom?”

  “In bed with a migraine.”

  “Oh, sorry.” I couldn’t quite work up any compassion for Diane.

  “Come sit,” Caroline said, patting the chocolate brown leather sofa.

  I sank onto the sofa, the leather cool from the air conditioning. “How was your trip to your Dad’s,” I asked. “I forgot to ask yesterday.”

  “It was good.” Her spaghetti-strapped tank showed off her arms. “Zack got into trouble though.” She lowered her voice. “He took my dad’s car out joyriding.”

  The younger stepbrother. “He’s what, fifteen?”

  She nodded. “He hasn’t even got his permit yet. Dad was furious. Apparently a cop pulled him over on the Perimeter.”

  “I thought your stepbrothers got along with your dad.”

  “They do. I don’t know what’s gotten into Zack. But now the whole house is under lockdown. And Nick, who’s seventeen and does have a license, is furious about it.” She tucked a chocolate curl behind her ear.

  “He’s being punished too.”

  “Technically, no. But Dad’s being all vigilant now and asking where he’s going all the time. Nick used to pretty much do what he wanted.”

  “Wow. A lot happened while you were there.”

  She glanced at the stairs and then said, “I was hoping to stay there for a while.”

  “You were? Don’t you like it here.”

  She shrugged. “I like it fine, but I miss my dad. I haven’t seen much of him except in the summers.”

  Her life wasn’t perfect? Well, other than her ho-bag mother. “So why’d you come back?”

  “Dad was so stressed out, he probably wouldn’t have noticed me anyway.” She got this serious look. “I know you live in the same city as your dad, but you don’t see him t
oo much. Don’t you miss him?”

  Here was a tricky question. I had to avoid the whole hostile feelings over the affair discussion. I thought for a minute. “Not much has really changed for me, I guess. Dad traveled all the time, and he wasn’t there much. I saw him some on weekends, and we did stuff. Now I see him almost as often.” I’d only recently figured out that my father was probably spending so much time away from home or at least busy in his office in the house in order to avoid my mother. It wasn’t a pretty thought.

  Caroline nodded slowly. “I see what you mean. My dad was always around. He owns his own business, so he took off a lot during the week when things were going on. He never missed anything at school. We used to just hang out a lot.”

  I couldn’t imagine hanging out with my dad much. Even before the divorce, our relationship had been kind of distant. Like he didn’t know what to make of a daughter. He was kind of obsessive about the computer stuff and he’d get lost in it for hours. I guess he had his head in the clouds a lot. And I was always busy doing my thing too or hanging with my mom. Mom and I liked the same movies. To see a movie with Dad, one of us had to compromise. It was just easier with Mom.

  This was the most Caroline and I had ever talked about real stuff. Things had always been awkward between us because of our parents. She clearly projected a warning that I shouldn’t talk about her mother, and I shot one right back that said, “Don’t tempt me.” Now, I felt for Caroline. “Can’t you go down for some extra weekends? He’d probably go for that, right?”

  She looked thoughtful. “Yes, but it’s hard with everything going on. I don’t want to miss all the fun stuff at school. I’m going out for junior varsity cheerleading, so I might have games a lot on Friday nights.”

  “That’s cool,” I said. “I’m sure you’ll make it.”

  “I’ve been practicing. My back flip isn’t good enough, but my back-walkover is solid.”

  Caroline had taken gymnastics for years. She was two inches shorter than me, but everyone told me I was too tall. I took it in pre-K and never again. Of course, I was a chubby kid. Maybe they just didn’t want to put me through the humiliation of wearing a leotard.