The Surgeon King's Secret Baby

by Amy Ruttan

  Reagan didn’t want a marriage like that.

  She never wanted to get married.

  “At the moment?” she asked, trying not stumble over the words.

  If we marry...

  Reagan began to laugh at the absurdity of it all. “No, I don’t think so.”

  Kainan’s dark eyes narrowed. I didn’t ask you.

  “I’m saving you the trouble. There’s no way.”

  Reagan, he’s my son too.

  “I am very aware of that, Your Majesty. But just because he’s your son it doesn’t mean that I’m going to marry you. Just because you’re King it doesn’t mean that I want to marry you.”

  Kainan rolled his eyes. This is exactly why I didn’t tell you. You’ve changed.

  “I thought that was why you liked me—because I wasn’t after your title or your money. I’m still not, by the way. I haven’t changed.”

  You’re more cynical.

  “I have every right to be!”

  Why? he asked.

  She couldn’t tell him. She didn’t want to share with him or anyone her painful past. To do that would be letting him in, leaving her exposed.

  Reagan softened. “I’m sorry. I can’t marry you. I don’t ever want to get married.”

  Kainan nodded and then took a step closer to her. Are you saying you never cared for me in that way?

  “I cared for you, Kainan. It just feels like a lifetime ago, and you are not the man I thought you were either.”

  And you would’ve turned me down back then?

  He reached out and touched her cheek briefly, before signing again.

  You would’ve turned down a proposal of marriage from me then? When I was the man you thought I was?

  Yes. I would.

  Only she didn’t say it out loud. That was for her only.

  “We were friends. Did you really want to propose to me back then?” she asked, but her pulse was racing.

  His simple touch still affected her and she recalled the moment when he’d finally taken her in his arms and kissed her.

  She remembered it with vivid clarity. The sweltering heat, the sound of the waves crashing against the shore and all the chaos that had seemed to still around them in that moment.

  “If things had been different...” Kainan whispered, then stroked her cheek again.

  His arm slipped around her as he tipped up her chin and captured her lips in a kiss. She closed her eyes and drank it in. This stolen moment that took her right back to that time.

  And even though she didn’t want to feel this way about him, because she didn’t have an inch of her heart to give him, she couldn’t help but be swept away.

  It was like a dream.

  All those months when she’d thought he was dead, and right now he was a reality.

  He was here.

  Alive and kissing her.

  He was affecting her, bringing down her walls.

  She couldn’t let him in.

  She pushed him away. “Kainan, it doesn’t change anything. I never want to marry. Royalty or not, it doesn’t change how I feel about marriage.”

  Reagan, I can take care of you and Peter.

  “How?” she asked. “You can’t give him a new heart by making him a prince.”

  He looked crestfallen. I can protect you both.

  “From what?”

  Those who wish to end the monarchy of Isla Hermosa.

  She frowned. “But you said it yourself—he’s not legitimate so he’s not a threat. If I marry you so you can protect us, I’m actually endangering us further.”

  Kainan’s shoulders slumped. You’d still be a target if people found out. I am sorry. I just... I want to protect you both. I haven’t done much for you, but I can do that. Let me do this. It’s the right thing to do.

  She reached out and grabbed his hand. “Being here now is enough, but we need to protect Peter. His last name is Cote, not Laskaris. The only people who know that you’re his father are the pediatric critical care unit staff and Michael. They won’t say a word.”

  My security team knows.

  Reagan’s stomach knotted. “You’ll have to keep them away from him. They’ll attract attention.”

  He pursed his lips together, annoyed. I will not call them off. I don’t even think that I can anyway. They’re protecting the monarchy of Isla Hermosa.

  “Then the press will find out.”

  Security will keep them out of the hospital.

  Reagan rolled her eyes. “Don’t underestimate the press.”

  Fine. They will keep their distance. But the moment something happens to you or Peter I am bringing about the security detachment in force.

  “Deal.” She held out her hand to shake his.

  Kainan didn’t take it. I’m going to check in with Andreas and make sure that everything is good.

  “Okay. I’m going to check on Peter and then see if they need any help in the emergency department, since we sent the medical students home early.”

  I want you to have dinner with me tonight.

  “How is that keeping your distance, Kainan? Won’t the press see me having dinner with you?”

  Not if you come to my hotel room. No one will notice you and my guards can provide a distraction.

  Reagan crossed her arms. “Why do you want me to have dinner with you?”

  Kainan pinched the bridge of his nose. Why must you question everything?

  “I’m not leaving the hospital tonight, Kainan. I shouldn’t have left yesterday. I’m needed here.”

  To do what? Peter is stable.

  “I’m not leaving. So, no, I’m not having dinner with you tonight.”

  Fine, but I’m not giving up on this.

  Kainan walked away and Reagan shook her head. She knew he was stubborn enough that he would persist until she agreed, but she wasn’t going to leave the hospital tonight.

  She was going to stay right by Peter.

  With this threat of the press, and people who would do harm to Kainan, she was going to make sure that no one got to Peter.

  * * *

  Kainan waited outside the pediatric critical care unit. He didn’t want to go in on the off-chance that someone from the press had snuck inside. It was killing him not to see Peter, but this was for the best.

  Until he could make Reagan his wife and legitimize Peter he had to keep his distance from his son. Only he didn’t want to. He didn’t want to be like his father, a distant, remote figure.

  If the press found out about Peter then all hell would break loose. Yet Kainan had to legitimize him. He had to marry Reagan and provide for them both. It was the right thing to do.

  He saw Reagan walking toward the pediatric critical care unit, her head down and rubbing her neck. She looked tired and he didn’t blame her. He needed to do more. Reagan needed help, even if she didn’t trust him.

  He had heard from Sophie that Reagan had spent every night since Peter was born watching him. Except for last night. She hadn’t even had a chance to recover much from the birth. She was always there, beside Peter.

  One night of sleep would not make up for all the nights she’d lost. All the time she hadn’t taken to heal. All the weight she had on her shoulders.

  Kainan wanted to help her because the guilt of not being there for her was eating away at him like so many things did, but this was more real. This was a weight that he would gladly bear, that he wanted to bear for her.

  “Reagan.” He said her name uncertainly, because he wasn’t sure his voice would be able to say it in a way for her to hear him.

  She stopped and looked up. “Kainan—I thought you had returned to the hotel. Your security detachment isn’t here.”

  Not that you can see. They’re always around.

  Reagan gave him a halfhearted
smile. “What’re you still doing here? I told you I didn’t want to have dinner.”

  I know, but you do have to eat sometime.

  “I’m not leaving the hospital, Kainan. I told you that.”

  I know, and that is why I have arranged for dinner in the classroom.

  “What?” she asked, raising a finely arched brow.

  It’s cafeteria food, and I know that you said yesterday that you were tired of cafeteria food, but seeing how you won’t leave the hospital, and I don’t want to draw attention, I didn’t really have a choice.

  She crossed her arms, a smile spread across her face. “You are persistent.”

  I may be King now, but I haven’t changed that much.

  “Is a king supposed to change?” she teased.

  I don’t know.

  They both laughed at that.

  Come on, he’s stable. He’s fine right now. Eat first, and then you can man your post by his bedside, or I can man the post and you can sleep in a proper bed.

  “You want to take a shift by Peter’s bedside?” she asked, surprised. As if she didn’t quite believe him or the help he was offering.

  Yes.

  “You? Shouldn’t you be resting before your surgery?”

  That’s not for a few days yet. Let me take a shift. I want to do it.

  “I don’t know...”

  She looked over her shoulder at the door of the pediatric critical care unit and he knew the pull she was feeling. He was feeling it too.

  It was hard not to when your child was lying there sick.

  You are no good to him weakened. You need to eat, Reagan. Come.

  Reagan tore her glance away and nodded. “You’re right.”

  Of course I am. I am King, after all.

  It was a tease, and Reagan rolled her eyes, but she laughed all the same.

  “Lead the way, my liege.”

  I’m not your liege, Reagan. You are not Hermosian. He held out his arm. However, I am a gentleman, so if you’ll do me the honor and let me escort you?

  Reagan took his arm and they walked away from the pediatric critical care unit to the classroom that was at the far end of the hall, on the other side of the hospital.

  They didn’t say anything. It was night, and the hospital was quiet. All the regular appointments and coming and goings that happened during the day, making the hospital a busy place, were gone. There were a few staff members walking past, because the emergency room never stopped running, but for the most part the hospital was deserted.

  The lighting was low and it was very calm. The cafeteria was only serving coffee and sandwiches. The gift shop was closed and through the atrium window he could see snow falling softly.

  In a couple of days it would be Christmas, then his surgery, and then New Year’s, which would be his coronation.

  If he survived the surgery and if the surgery was successful.

  Kainan couldn’t remember the last time he’d celebrated Christmas. He’d always made excuses to his father in order to avoid the holiday since his mother had died. So for years, he hadn’t celebrated it. He’d worked and he’d enjoyed that.

  And then war had broken out.

  He’d spent last Christmas with Reagan, in the mobile military hospital. She had sung Christmas carols to the soldiers. Just thinking about that made him smile.

  “What’re you smiling about?” she asked.

  I was thinking about last Christmas with you.

  She smiled. “I remember that night.”

  You brought a lot of hope to those wounded soldiers.

  “It was Christmas—it’s all about hope. Although I wouldn’t really know...”

  Did you not celebrate Christmas as a child?

  “No. Well, sort of. My parents never really liked to spend time with me. I had a grandmother until I was about seven, who made the holiday special, but after she died my parents were very cold to me. They didn’t want me and they made it clear.”

  He frowned. I’m sorry, and I can understand that.

  “You understand? I thought your father was a great king?”

  Yes—a great king, but a very cold, detached father. I was the spare, so he didn’t spend a lot of time with me. Besides, Christmas was all pomp and circumstance. It was all for show.

  “Sounds like we both had it rough,” she whispered. “Still, Christmas is a time for hope.”

  Do you feel hopeful about this Christmas?

  The wistful smile disappeared, to be replaced with sigh. “I’m trying, but it’s hard. This is Peter’s first Christmas and he’s spending it here.”

  Kainan understood. He wished it was different.

  At least he’s still alive.

  She smiled at him, her eyes glistening. “Yes. He is.”

  Kainan opened the door to the classroom, where he’d set up a small dining area. He’d borrowed plates and cutlery from the cafeteria, with Andreas’s help. He only wished there were candles or something, so he could set some mood lighting, but candles weren’t allowed in the hospital. He wanted to make it special to her.

  He pulled out a seat and beckoned for her to sit. Once she’d sat down he pushed her chair in and then took the seat next to her. The table was too long, and he didn’t want her to have to shout across the room. This way, if he wanted to speak to her then he wouldn’t have to shout.

  He longed to speak to her as he’d used to be able to do. With his voice he could offer to hold her hand, touch her and comfort her.

  At least she could understand him, though. Not many people knew how to use American Sign Language. He had learned it in medical school, because he’d wanted to converse with hearing impaired or nonverbal patients in his medical practice. He’d had no idea that it would become a part of his life.

  “What’s for dinner?” she asked.

  Kainan lifted the lids on the salads he’d ordered before the cafeteria had shut down. I believe it is called Cobb Salad.

  “It looks good. Actually, the cafeteria makes a great Cobb salad.”

  Well, this is just the starter. The main course is macaroni and cheese. I can’t say that I’ve had the pleasure of trying macaroni and cheese.

  “You’re pulling my leg,” Reagan said.

  No, it’s true. It’s not really a staple on Isla Hermosa, and I grew up in a palace with a team of cooks. Macaroni and cheese wasn’t in their repertoire.

  “Then you missed out, my friend,” she teased.

  He chuckled. I took a peek at it. I highly doubt that.

  Reagan smiled brightly, her dark eyes twinkling under the fluorescent lighting.

  You have beautiful smile, Reagan.

  Pink crept up her neck into her cheeks. “You’ve told me that before.”

  It’s the truth.

  “Why are you doing this?” she asked.

  Doing what?

  “This dinner. Why?”

  I’m doing this because I wasn’t there for you when Peter was born. I see the burden you carry and I want to help. Don’t be on the defensive so much. You can trust me.

  She looked away. “It’s dangerous for you to help right now.”

  I know, but at least I can do this. I may not be able to directly help him, but I can help make things easier for you.

  Her spine stiffened a bit. “I don’t need help. I got myself into this situation and I can handle it.”

  I believe I was part of this “situation”, as you call it. Unless Peter was another immaculate conception, I had a hand in helping you.

  Reagan sighed and relaxed. “Okay, thank you for dinner. I appreciate it.”

  Kainan nodded. Eat. You need to eat to keep your strength up. You’re no good to our son if you get sick or collapse from exhaustion.

  Reagan nodded and they ate in silence, but it wasn’t awkward. It felt
right, and it was nice just to sit there with her and enjoy the peace and quiet, alone in this section of the hospital.

  When they’d finished, Reagan leaned back in her chair. “That was good. What did you think of the macaroni and cheese?”

  It was...interesting.

  He made a face and she laughed, then she picked up her phone and frowned.

  What’s wrong? Kainan asked when she looked up again.

  “It’s Peter. His stats are a bit low.” She bit her lip and then got up. “I have to be with him.”

  Kainan nodded. Go and keep me posted. Please.

  Her expression softened. “I will. Thank you for dinner. I really appreciate it.”

  He nodded and she left the room.

  Kainan sank back in the office chair he was been sitting in, spinning a bit as he tried not to think about what was happening to his son, or the fact that he was helpless. It was too much to bear.

  He had to marry Reagan to protect her, to protect them both—especially if he didn’t survive the surgery. Although he was very aware that he would be ruining her life and Peter’s by staying and subjecting them to royal protocol.

  He should just walk away. Only he couldn’t. And the fact that he couldn’t scared him.

  Chapter Six

  IT HAD BEEN a couple days since their impromptu dinner that night in the classroom. It was the nicest thing that anyone had ever done for her in a long time. Actually, Reagan couldn’t remember the last time someone had done something so nice for her.

  Maybe there was still a piece of the man she’d thought she knew in there. Kainan had promised her nothing would change with respect to Peter. He wouldn’t try and take him away.

  Could she believe him?

  She sighed, hating the doubt that still crept in.

  He had been trying really hard, but since that dinner he had kept his distance both from her and Peter. It broke her heart to see him keeping Peter at arm’s length, especially when Peter wasn’t doing particularly well at the moment.

  You asked him to stay away, remember?

  And she had. He was doing what she’d asked.

  It had been to keep Peter safe. Now she wasn’t so sure that it had been the right decision.

  Peter needed both his parents, and Kainan was alive. It was a miracle, and she shouldn’t keep Kainan away from Peter or vice versa, but there was danger attached to Kainan and that made her fear for her son. She feared Peter might be hurt when Kainan returned to Isla Hermosa.