by Amy Ruttan
I love your hands on my body, he thought as her hands moved over his skin.
“I can tell you like that,” she whispered.
And then she continued teasing with her fingertips, running a finger down his neck, over his chest and lower. Her hand splayed against his abdomen before slipping lower and gripping his erection in the palm of her hand.
He groaned.
She chuckled, and then nibbled his neck. Every nerve-ending in his body was alive as she stroked him. His blood was on fire, and he tried to hold back another moan but couldn’t keep it in. Reagan’s touching him was driving him wild, and he was afraid that if she kept it up he would come. Only he didn’t want her to stop.
Her mouth was on him now, and his hands slipped into her hair. His throat tightened but he couldn’t stop. The pleasure was making his body wild with need.
He pulled her away and pushed her against the mattress, pinning her there below him. Reagan bit her lower lip and tried to wrap herself around him, but he let go of her wrists to push open her legs.
“Kainan...” she begged.
He grinned, and wouldn’t give in to her pleas.
“Kainan, what’re you...? Oh, my God,” she gasped as he did what she had done to him. Tortured her the way she had him, driving her wild with need.
“Please,” she begged.
He didn’t respond, just ran his tongue around the most sensitive part of her, making her cry out. He wanted her to come, but he wanted to be inside her too. He was greedy and he wanted all of her.
Reagan arched her hips up and he moved over her, staring down into her eyes, then bent down to kiss her as he entered her slowly.
He groaned. She was so tight, so hot. It took every ounce of his control not to take her fast. It had been so long since he’d been with her. There hadn’t been another since her, he’d never had a desire for any other.
It was only her.
Just Reagan.
He sank deeper into her and quickened his pace. He couldn’t hold back. He slipped a hand under her bottom, bringing her closer and angling his thrusts as he took all of her. It was hard to hold back, but he wanted Reagan to come first, and it didn’t take long before she was crying out his name, tightening around him.
And that was when he sought his own release.
When it was over he rolled away, trying to catch his breath, but it was only a moment before he pulled her close against him. He didn’t want her far from him. He needed her.
“Kainan...” she whispered in the darkness, her breath fast and heavy like his.
He ran his hands over her soft body and kissed her gently.
“Sleep,” he said hoarsely. “I’m here.”
Reagan smiled up at him and sighed.
Soon she was asleep, the even sound of her breathing letting him know she’d drifted off. The wind was howling outside, a high-pitched wail which usually set him on edge and made him shiver, but there was no shivering with her warm body pressed against his.
Tonight he had her.
Tonight she was his Queen. Even if it was only for one night.
Chapter Eleven
THE ALARM WENT off at six o’clock in the morning. At first Kainan forgot for a moment why he’d set the alarm so early, because all he wanted to do was lie in Reagan’s arms all day long. Then he remembered that it was Christmas Eve and Dr. Shaw wanted him at the hospital so he could do another MRI and check the extent of new damage and scar tissue in preparation for the surgery coming up soon.
Try as he might, Kainan hadn’t been able to keep silent when he’d made love to Reagan. He’d lost all sense of logic and reason, and now he was paying for it.
His throat was hoarse, sore and very tight. It was hard to breathe, but last night had been worth it.
Kainan disentangled himself from Reagan’s arms and slowly got out of bed.
“Where are you going?” she whispered, and flicked on a light which blinded them both. “It’s dark still.”
I’m not trying to sneak away.
“Where are you off to then?” she asked, sitting up.
To the hospital.
“Is it Peter?” she asked, panicked.
No, it’s me. He ran his hand through his hair. I just need another MRI scan. There’s more adhesions in my throat.
“Oh,” she said quietly, worried. “That will complicate the surgery.”
Yes, and it also complicates my breathing, not just my voice.
She cocked an eyebrow. “I’m worried about you. Worried about this surgery.”
He grinned and touched her face, whispering, “I am not.”
It was a lie. He was, but there was no choice.
“What happens if you...? What happens to your country?”
Peter could be King.
Reagan frowned. “Peter is not legitimate.”
You can change that.
She rolled her eyes and shook her head. “Are you crazy?”
Reagan, please. We belong together as a family.
She looked unsure, and for some reason he got an inkling that he was getting through to her. Maybe she would agree to be his Queen. Then he could take care of them.
That’s if you survive the surgery.
He didn’t want to think of that. He didn’t want to think of putting Peter in a position of having no childhood. Perhaps he was being selfish, like his father. Still, he wanted both of them. He needed them both.
“I’m worried about this surgery, I really am,” she said.
It touched him that she cared so much.
I don’t know when or if I can have the surgery, he signed, and then started to pull on his discarded clothes.
“I’ll go with you to the MRI.”
He shook his head. No, you need to go to Peter. They could be discharging him today. I will have a security detail available for you and a town car to bring you back here with him. Do you have a car seat?
“I did...it’s probably in the closet in his nursery.”
He nodded. I will be fine. I promise to keep you posted, and tonight we’ll celebrate as a family.
“Just don’t do anything rash. You can be a voiceless king, Kainan. There is no shame in it.”
I am not ashamed. I just want answers. If it can be resolved, then I would like to speak again—I would like to address my people. It was maddening not being able to work on my own during that trauma. I had to follow you like a shadow. I couldn’t go into the operating room as lead surgeon because how can I sign with my hands inside a person? I have to return to my throne strong.
Kainan finished dressing.
Do not worry, Reagan. Everything will be okay. We’ll order in food for tonight and celebrate our first Christmas, the three of us together.
She smiled. “You can invite Andreas and the other members of your security team. Andreas is family. He’s Peter’s uncle, whether he wants to admit it or not. And he cares for you.”
I will try to convince him, but Andreas takes decorum very seriously. He didn’t even want my blood. Kainan straightened his tie. When the MRI is done I will come see you—or, if they decide to discharge Peter before I’m done, I will meet you here.
“Okay...” she said, but he could tell that there was uncertainty in her voice and he wished he could tell her more. Tell her how much he cared, but that he was scared. Scare of ruining it all. Scared of breaking her heart if he died.
The pressure he felt was keen.
As he left Reagan’s apartment he ran into Andreas, who was limping to the apartment next door with a cane.
“Your Majesty,” Andreas said, wincing as he tried to bow.
Don’t. Kainan stopped him. Rest. Diego, another one of my security guards, is taking me to the hospital for a test.
“The MRI?” Andreas asked hopefully.
Yes.
Andreas looked worried. “I should be with you, Your Majesty.”
It is fine. Reagan is next door. Keep an eye on her, if you must.
“You spent the night with her? Has she agreed to be Queen?”
Not yet. Rest, Andreas. That’s an order.
“Thank you, Your Majesty.”
Kainan nodded and went downstairs, where Diego was waiting for him. He didn’t say much and opened the door to the tinted-windowed town car. Diego knew where Kainan needed to go.
First the MRI, then the embassy. Time was running out. Kainan had to put his affairs in order before he had surgery, and he was angry with himself for letting it go this long. But he’d been too afraid before.
Now, with Peter and Reagan, Kainan was experiencing something he had not felt in a long time, and that was hope. He was always going to make sure everyone was protected if he died on the operating table, but that hope gave him courage. He wasn’t going to die during surgery. He was going to fight. He was going to live to know his son and to return to Isla Hermosa and take his place as King.
* * *
Reagan was torn.
Last night in Kainan’s arms had been so amazing and it had felt right. She had felt as if she belonged with him. And then he’d shattered her by telling her that he was still contemplating going through a risky procedure to restore his voice.
It wasn’t so much the surgery itself that was terrible, but Kainan’s injury...the scar tissue.
The idea was too much for her to bear, and she was torn between what she’d been taught her whole life and becoming a family with Kainan.
She found a towel in one of the boxes in her bedroom and had a quick shower in her brand-new walk-in shower.
When she walked out of the bathroom, she glanced out of the window toward the icy waters of Lake Ontario.
Right now it was full of foreboding. A stormy, gloomy body of water that had always freaked her out. But then she thought about the spring thaw and the summer, when she would be able to watch the ferry head from Queen’s Quay to the islands, and that brought a smile to her face.
There was Centerville, out on one of those islands, and she thought about taking Peter there one day—taking all the rides with him and walking on the beaches there. She thought about all the things they could do. But now, instead of seeing only her and Peter in the picture, she saw Kainan.
Would it really be so bad to be his wife?
Once Peter had his new heart she could move to Isla Hermosa. Despite the war, she had enjoyed her time there—the ocean, the tropical weather and the lush jungle.
There was really nothing to keep her in Toronto after Peter got his heart. She could practice medicine in Isla Hermosa. Perhaps she could do even more, like teach the future physicians of Isla Hermosa. She’d always wanted to teach.
Maybe she could have it all?
Be careful. You can only rely on yourself.
She shook that thought away, because right now she was feeling something she had never felt before and that was love. The picture she had in her mind of her future didn’t have to be Toronto or London, Ontario...it could be Isla Hermosa and Europe.
And Kainan.
She couldn’t lose him again. She’d thought that she had lost him once and that had nearly destroyed her. This was her second chance, and she would be a fool not to take it, but she was terrified beyond all reason.
Reagan got dressed as quickly as she could and then dug the car seat out of Peter’s closet. Starting tonight, with Peter home for Christmas and Kainan here, she was going to make her life right.
She couldn’t be scared anymore.
She wasn’t going to ruin this second chance that she had been given.
As she locked her door, the door to Kainan’s apartment opened and Andreas hobbled out.
“Andreas! They let you out?” she asked.
Andreas turned and smiled at her. “Yes, Dr. Cote. I am fine now.”
“You need to rest,” she said. “Where are you going?”
“Out. There is no food.”
“You should order in.”
Andreas sighed. “I was going to go to the hospital and check on Kainan.”
“I thought someone else was with him? You really should rest.”
“I should be the one to go to the hospital with him,” Andreas said grimly.
“You really need to rest. But tonight come over and have dinner. You are family.”
“I beg your pardon?” said Andreas.
“He told me that you’re his illegitimate half brother.”
Andreas frowned. “I wish he hadn’t.”
“Kainan cares about you.”
Andreas sighed. “And I him.”
“So come over and celebrate”
“No, it is not proper. There’s nothing to celebrate. The surgery is too risky, and if he dies he will be leaving the country without an heir.”
“It’s a risky surgery, for sure, but—”
“The odds of his death are high.”
Reagan’s heart skipped a beat. “What are you talking about?”
“He has extensive scar tissue...”
“Kainan could die?” Her world spun out of control.
Andreas nodded. “Although your son could still be King if you marry him.”
Reagan’s heart sank. So that was why Kainan wanted to marry her. Why he constantly pestered her to marry him. It wasn’t because he cared for her—it was all about the crown. It was all about saving his kingdom because he expected to die. He was going to abandon her and Peter after all, and abandon them to a life she didn’t want.
If she hadn’t had Peter then he probably wouldn’t have bothered with her.
You’ve opened your heart to the wrong man, Reagan. You always do. This heartache is all your fault.
Reagan couldn’t even respond to Andreas. She just turned on her heel and carried on her way. She didn’t know what to think.
She was hurt that Kainan had used her. Played her for a fool. He didn’t really care for her or Peter. He saw them as a means to save his country. To save its monarchy.
And it hurt.
Had their night of passion been a part of his game?
She slammed the “down” button at the elevator as hard as she could and it felt good to hit it—but it didn’t quell the feelings of betrayal she was experiencing right now. The pain...
The fact he’d lied to her and hadn’t even been able to tell her the truth.
Why had she thought she could trust him? She knew better than to listen to her heart. Her heart was thing that always got her into trouble. She was a fool.
She hailed a cab and climbed in, directing the taxi driver to take her to the hospital. She didn’t know what she was going to do when she saw Kainan, but she knew one thing was for certain now. She was never going to marry.
Never.
Chapter Twelve
AFTER KAINAN’S MRI he was scheduled for surgery with Dr. Shaw on December twenty-sixth in the morning. There were risks that the scar tissue was now threatening his ability to breathe, and that was not good. Dr. Shaw had put him on oxygen just now, and he was feeling light-headed because breathing was getting harder.
He had to get it done sooner rather than later.
When the surgery had bee booked he went straight to the embassy to talk to his delegates about his possible death.
Kainan had decided that it was time that the monarchy did not have absolute control over the people. Time for him to take a step back, so that if he died Peter would not be trapped as he had been.
He could be a figurehead, and he could help his people, but Kainan had to give them the tools to help themselves, and soon his delegates would be in the process of dealing with the Canadian officials in order to make that happen.
Which meant the deadline for him to be crowned was a moot point. He had it struck out in one of his last acts of power.
The burden that had been lifted from his shoulders was great.
He felt free.
He was still King, but it was different.
This was now a monarchy on his own terms—a monarchy that would serve its people. They could vote in a prime minister. There would be a democracy.
And Kainan would oversee these things to make sure corrupt people didn’t get into power as long as he was their figurehead.
When he got to the hospital he went straight to Peter’s room to talk to Reagan, but when he got there the room was empty.
Peter was gone and so was Reagan.
His heart lurched and he began to panic, thinking that something had happened to their son.
A pediatric nurse came into the room. “Dr. Laskaris, they’ve been discharged. They were discharged about twenty minutes ago, so they’re probably at home.”
Kainan breathed a sigh of relief and mouthed his thanks to the nurse before rushing out of the hospital. He was texting Diego when he saw Andreas limping in.
Dammit.
“Your Majesty,” Andreas said. He looked concerned.
What’s wrong? Kainan asked.
“It’s Dr. Cote. She knows. She knows about the risks of your surgery.”
His stomach sank like a rock. How does she know? Did the press find out?
Andreas shook his head. “I told her.”
Kainan saw red, felt his blood boiling, and it took every ounce of his strength not to hit Andreas.
You did what?
“Your Majesty, I had to tell her. I am also the one who broke into her apartment.”
Why would you do that?
“I wanted to push her into your arms. I wanted to protect my country and your birthright. Your son’s birthright.”
Kainan mouthed a few choice curse words and scrubbed a hand over his face. I can’t believe you did this, Andreas. You’ve ruined everything!
“How? She knows the truth now.”