Her Last First Kiss: Christian Cowboy Romance (Last Chance Ranch Romance Book 1)

by Liz Isaacson

  She wasn’t going to act like she was in junior high, and go running to his best friend to find out if he’d said anything about her. Just looking at Carson, though there had never been a spark between them, made her heart pound a little too hard. He was exactly like Hudson—a picture-perfect cowboy with those impossibly wide shoulders and white teeth—and Scarlett just needed a break from cowboys.

  She wasn’t going to get one. She owned a ranch for crying out loud. So she stepped up to Carson when there was a break in check-ins, and said, “Hey, Carson.”

  “Scarlett.” He smiled at her and glanced down at his clipboard.

  “I brought my own mat,” she said, indicating the roll on her back. “I’ll just find a spot in the corner. I wanted to get a closer look at what you guys do here.” She’d never particularly liked yoga, but she couldn’t stay home right now either. The goats and Adele were already working the crowd, and she stood in her cute yoga pants, more weight gone from her frame. A flash of jealousy hit Scarlett that her friend seemed to be melting before her very eyes and still cooked delicious food every night.

  She fed a baby goat something as she spoke to a couple. They laughed, and Adele’s eye caught Scarlett’s. Dang. She’d been hoping to set up in the corner unnoticed. She continued in that direction anyway, hoping the real clients and the goats would prevent Adele from coming over to ask her what in the world she was doing there.

  Not only in the class, but back on the ranch at all.

  Adele took a couple of steps toward Scarlett when Carson called her name. She looked at him, and then back at Scarlett, a clear war raging on her face. Scarlett waved at her to go see what Carson needed, and she opened her mat in a casual gesture.

  She sat on the ground, wondering how in the world she was going to do yoga. She wasn’t exactly flexible, or thin, and she had a flash of regret before a goat leapt right onto her back. “Oh,” she said, surprised as a giggle leaked out of her mouth. Laughing was always better than crying, and as the goat jumped down, she stroked his back, a sense of calmness infusing her soul.

  It only stayed for a moment, but it was better than the helplessness that had descended on her that day.

  So she stayed for the whole yoga class, though she had to take a breather in the middle of it as a bout of dizziness overcame her from all the bending and deep breathing. Apparently, she hadn’t been breathing properly for forty-three years, and her body didn’t like the way she was suddenly doing it.

  Both Adele and Carson stood at the exit as the patrons exited, long after the cool-down and the picture opportunities. Scarlett had stayed too, though she didn’t care about making a human pyramid with a goat topper. Carson had finally put all the goats away before joining Adele and thanking everyone for coming.

  With the arena finally empty, Scarlett approached her friends. “What are you guys doing for dinner?”

  “Nothing,” Adele said quickly, taking a step away from Carson as if they’d both get fired if Scarlett found out they’d been kissing behind the barn. Or wherever that had been happening.

  “What are you doing back?” she asked, which drove a wedge right into Scarlett’s shivering heart.

  “I got sunburned,” she said. “My back looks like a lobster.” No way she was telling them she’d barely ventured out from beneath the umbrella, and only after she’d changed out of her bathing suit.

  “And you came to yoga and let a baby goat jump on your back?” Adele cocked her hip and folded her arms. “You’re such a liar.”

  “Fine,” Scarlett said. “Things didn’t go well, and Hudson broke up with me. Then he left the ranch.” Her chin trembled as she raised it. “I didn’t want to be alone, so I came to yoga class.” She pushed past both of them, determined not to let her tears fall in front of them. Going out in public had been a very bad idea. Very bad indeed.

  “Scarlett,” Adele called after her, but Scarlett didn’t stop walking.

  Her friend caught up to her easily anyway. “You broke up?”

  “I don’t know. I really don’t want to talk about it.”

  “Well, too bad. You muscled your way into my place weeks ago and practically demanded I tell you everything.”

  “Fine.” Scarlett stopped in the middle of the road. “I freaked out. Got too far inside my head. Whatever. But the point is, I’m not ready for a man like Hudson.”

  Adele glared at her. “And what’s a man like Hudson like?”

  One who loves me. Scarlett thought the words, but she didn’t say them. She couldn’t. She didn’t deserve a man like him—one with money, success, good looks, a strong work ethic, and faith.

  She had hardly any of those things, though she did consider herself a fairly hard worker and she believed in God. She seized onto her faith and sent a prayer heavenward that she’d be able to find the confidence and strength everyone around her seemed to already have.

  “Scarlett?” Adele asked, but Scarlett just shook her head.

  “I just didn’t want to be alone tonight. I’ll go see what Gramps is doing.” She walked away from Adele, who surprisingly let her go. After several long strides, Scarlett looked back and saw her shaking her head at Carson and then looking at Scarlett again.

  “I’ll have the double cheeseburger with sweet potato fries,” she said, handing the menu back to the server. She looked at Gramps, who was still studying the menu like it was written in Japanese. “You’re up, Gramps.”

  “What’s good here?” he asked the waitress, his eyebrows furrowed.

  “Gramps, you’ve been coming here for years,” she said. “You like the steak sandwich, remember?”

  “I do like a good steak sandwich,” he said, still searching the menu.

  Scarlett pointed to the menu, on the right near the bottom. “It’s right there. Comes with fries or tots.”

  “I like the fries.”

  “Steak sandwich and fries,” the waitress said.

  “Yes.” Scarlett picked up Gramps’s menu and handed it to the server. “Thanks.” She flashed a smile, glad she could still put on a good performance of happiness when she needed to. “So how was your weekend with the dogs, Gramps?”

  “Only got ‘em for one day,” he grumbled. “Hound’s gone, and you’re home now so Billy and Bob won’t stay with me.”

  “Sure they can,” she said, unsure of how she’d sleep in the huge homestead without her dogs with her. Without Hudson on the ranch. Without knowing where he was and if he was coming back.

  “Everything on the ranch is looking so good,” Gramps said, a smile forming on his face.

  “Thanks, Gramps.”

  “I’m so glad you’re here,” he said next. “Your grandmother would’ve been so happy with what you’ve done.” He beamed at her. “And I’ll admit I love seeing the ranch thriving too. So many animals, so many people there. It feels right.”

  “It does feel right, doesn’t it?” She took a drink of her soda. “Tell me more about Grams,” she said. “She ran the adoption program before?”

  “Yes, she was determined to make sure every animal found a good home, whether that was on our ranch or with someone else.” He paused to take a breath and then a sip of his water. “Even when she got sick, she went over to that adoption center every day. Even if it was just for an hour.”

  Scarlett thought about her grandmother, sick with cancer and dealing with chemotherapy treatments, dedicating her healthiest hours to the adoption center on the ranch. Scarlett could get through this hour. And then the next one. And then another. She wasn’t sick, and she wasn’t going to count the way her heart twisted painfully in her chest. Or how hollow her stomach felt.

  Her burger came, and she tried to fill the emptiness in her soul the way she always had—with food.

  A week passed, and then two, and Hudson didn’t show up on the ranch. His name didn’t brighten the screen of her phone. He’d texted Carson on the Monday he and Scarlett were originally supposed to return from the relaxing beach vacation to say he’d like a f
ew weeks off. He’d asked Carson to run it by Scarlett, which the cowboy had done.

  So in the end, Hudson had resorted to the junior high tactics of talking through a mutual friend. Scarlett had said it was fine for him to take some time off, and she’d begun praying he’d be back in time for his birthday.

  She had party plans, and she remembered telling him, I want you on your birthday.

  And she still did. But July was days away from ending, and his birthday was only four days into August. She only had a week to figure out how to get him back to Last Chance Ranch on the evening of the fourth.

  Considering the fact that she hadn’t spoken to him in weeks, and that she was still crying in the few minutes before she went to bed, Scarlett wasn’t hopeful that she’d be able to see him on his birthday.

  Still, she stopped by Adele’s the following evening to ask her if she was still planning to make a birthday cake for Hudson.

  “You’re still doing the party?” she asked, her eyebrows sky-high. She wore an apron, and she wiped her hands on it. “Come in.” She glanced left and right as if the paparazzi had found the ranch and wanted to interview her.

  “Yes,” Scarlett said as she crossed the threshold into Adele’s cabin. She turned and met her best friend’s eye. Tears gathered in hers, and Scarlett thought they might just fall. Her voice felt stuck in her throat.

  “I have to get him back,” she said, her voice breaking as it filled with emotion. A tear splashed her cheek, and she swiped at it without looking away from Adele. “This is different than Vance, Adele.”

  “Oh, honey.” Adele stepped into her and hugged her tight. “Of course this is different than Vance. You’re in love with Hudson.”

  Scarlett shook her head as she cried. “No, not yet. But I think I could fall for him.”

  “Trust me, you already have.”

  “Why does he like me?”

  Adele pulled away and gave Scarlett a stern look. “Because you’re awesome? How about that? You brought this failing ranch to life in what? A month? You work like a dog. You’re kind. You’re thoughtful. Faithful. Gorgeous. What’s not to like?”

  Adele walked back over to her hotplate and started stirring before adding a handful of shredded cheese. “You just need to figure out how to love yourself, Scarlett. Then you’ll see I’m right, and you’re already in love with Hudson.”

  Figure out how to love herself. Scarlett desperately wanted to do that. She just didn’t know how.

  Chapter 22

  Hudson mucked out all fifteen stalls in the green stable, it being a Wednesday. He’d been at Thousand Oaks for three weeks now, and the work was familiar and easy. His mother was thrilled he’d come home to visit, and his dad had put him to good use immediately.

  His mom hadn’t mentioned a single thing about Jan, and Hudson had settled into a routine that had him eating lunch with his mother and making his own dinner in his own cabin down by the main stables.

  That way, he didn’t have to see his father very often, nor his brother Jude, who strutted around the place like managing a schedule of cleaning stalls and feeding horses made him more important than everyone else.

  Misery had been a constant companion, but he could clean out dirty straw unhappily as well as he could happily. He didn’t whistle the way he used to, and his patience with the stubborn horses who didn’t want to go out to the exercise ring while he freshened up their stalls sat at low most of the time.

  He couldn’t believe he’d come back to Thousand Oaks for more than a couple of hours. He hadn’t intended to stay, but he didn’t have anywhere else to go. He’d texted Carson about having a few weeks off from Last Chance Ranch, and the other cowboy had relayed the message to Scarlett.

  She’d given her permission, a seal on the fact that she didn’t want to be around him any more than he wanted to pretend that working together would be enough for him. Nothing short of having her to be his wife would be enough for him.

  He knew that now, after all this time away from her. Of course, he’d known it on the beach as he’d watched her setting out their breakfast.

  His heart pinched in his chest, and yet he was able to keep working. Use the pitchfork to transfer the old straw to the wheelbarrow. Sweep out the corners. Fill the troughs with fresh water. Once all the stalls were done, he put in fresh straw and new sawdust.

  Task by task, the work got done. Hudson didn’t have to think hard about the work, which meant Scarlett stayed in the front of his mind constantly. The more time that went by, the more foolish he felt.

  He was going to be forty-six-years-old next week, and he shouldn’t have to communicate through someone else. He also didn’t want to have a birthday without Scarlett.

  I want you on your birthday.

  And yet, she hadn’t texted or called him since he’d left the ranch.

  “And you don’t want her to,” he told himself as he went outside to get the horses off the exercise circles. He wanted Scarlett. He loved Scarlett. But he didn’t want her in the fragile condition she was in.

  He didn’t want her to feel badly about herself. He didn’t like it when she put herself down, and compared herself to others, and worried constantly that she was good enough for him. He wanted the strong, capable, confidant woman he’d seen pull the ranch back from the brink of collapse. How she could do that and not understand how amazing she was, he didn’t know.

  He finished in the green stable, a good morning’s worth of work done. Back at the house, his mother stood at the stove, stirring something.

  “Hey, Mom,” he said, the scent of marinara registering in his mind. “Spaghetti today?”

  “Yep. How are the greenies today?”

  “Fine,” he said. He knew his brother and father had given him the stables with the lower-level client’s horses. Those that were just here for a couple of nights or that didn’t have owners with big houses on the beach or in Hollywood. Hudson didn’t care. He didn’t need the money.

  He just needed a place to belong.

  Desperation choked him, and he pushed it away. He didn’t want to belong at Thousand Oaks—and he’d known since he was fifteen years old that he didn’t belong here.

  He sighed as he sat at the kitchen counter, and his mother looked at him. “What’s wrong, Hudson?”

  “Nothing, Mom.”

  She’d been asking him the same question nearly every day since he’d shown up on the front porch. She’d come running out to meet him as his father had walked away. At least he had one person on this planet who wanted to see him and talk to him.

  “I know there’s something wrong.” She put a plate in front of him. “You’re not who you used to be.”

  “Yeah, well, that’s true.” Hudson reached for a fork and let his mom serve him a mountain of spaghetti. His stomach growled, and he’d eat it all just to make her happy. “People change,” he said.

  “You’re not happy,” she said.

  “Yeah, well, I’m starting to wonder if I ever will be.” He glanced at her, but she was busy twirling the tongs through the noodles and putting them on her plate.

  She came around the counter and sat next to him, the way she had been for the past few weeks. They’d talked about his brothers and father, the boarding stables, and the new sewing projects she worked on. Nothing too serious, despite her constant inquiries about what was wrong with him.

  What was wrong was that his heart had been shattered.

  “I just want to apologize about Jan,” his mom said, her voice quiet. “I never should’ve sided with her, or done anything for her, or…any of it.”

  “Thank you, Mom,” Hudson said, a brief moment of curiosity hitting him. “Did something happen with her?”

  “Nothing worth talking about,” she said. “But honey, there’s something not right with you. More than just Jan. I mean, I don’t want to rush your healing, but it seems like your wandering would’ve cured you of anything with her.”

  “It did, Mom.”

  “Then what
’s wrong?”

  He had a feeling she wasn’t going to give up today. “I met a woman named Scarlett,” he said, taking another big bite of pasta. “This is great, Mom. Thanks for making me lunch every day.”

  They ate in silence for a few minutes while Hudson wondered what his brother would assign him to do that afternoon. At least Jude spoke to him, even if it was with contempt.

  “Your father wants to have dinner tonight,” his mom said.

  “No, thanks,” Hudson said. “I got one of those spinach mushroom pizzas I like when I went into town a few days ago.”

  “He wants to apologize,” she said.

  Hudson sighed, because while he’d taken a break in his church attendance, his prayers and pleas to God hadn’t ceased. He simply felt lost, as the Lord hadn’t been too keen to direct him after he’d gotten to Thousand Oaks.

  “Will Jude be there?” he asked.

  “Yes, and Brent is coming from the city.”

  “Oh, a real family reunion,” he said dryly.

  “Well, Whip can’t get off work, so not quite.” She nudged him, and he found a smile on her face when he looked at her. “Please, Hudson. It’s time to be done with this.”

  “This has never been my fault,” he said, unable to hold the words back.

  “I know that,” she said. “Brent’s bringing ribs and mashed potatoes from Rosco’s.”

  “Oh, now you’re just being cruel,” he said. “Because pizza doesn’t compare to barbeque.”

  “So you’ll come?”

  Hudson didn’t see how he had a choice. “Fine,” he said. “What time?”

  “Knock, knock,” Brent said as he pushed through the front door of Hudson’s cabin. He’d thought the cabin at Last Chance Ranch had been a huge step up from the camper shell, and it had been. This cabin on his family’s boarding stable property sat somewhere in the middle of that, with only a loft that Hudson had to climb into each night to sleep.