Billie Jo

by Kimberley Chambers

  As she poured them both a glass of wine, Billie felt pity, but nothing else. 'I'm sorry you felt that way, Mum. I did try and make you feel included, but you just seemed to push me away all the time. You were so obsessed with what Dad was up to, you had no time for me at all.'

  Michelle took a large gulp from her glass. 'I never trusted him, that's why, Billie. I knew he despised me and that hurt like hell. I loved him, you know. I mean, really loved him and it broke my heart to find out he was at it with other women. I still love him now, deep down. I'll never feel for another man what I felt for your dad.'

  Billie looked at her mother sympathetically, not really knowing what to say. 'Why the change of heart, Mum? And why are you telling me all of this now?'

  'I'm telling you because I'm in a lot of trouble and I think I'm going to prison.'

  'What?' Billie said, looking at her mother in disbelief.

  'I've been involved in a car accident and I'd been drinking.' Michelle started sobbing and Billie could barely make sense of what she was trying to say. As soon as she realised that her mother had killed someone, Billie was filled with nothing but disgust. She couldn't stop thinking of the poor woman who had died and the grieving family that she had left behind.

  'So Hazel took me to the police station this morning. I've been charged and now I have to wait for a court date. My solicitor reckons I'll definitely get a prison sentence. He said that the judges are coming down real hard these days on drink-driving and now the woman's dead, I'll probably go down. Trust her to die. That's just my luck. Will you stick by me, Billie, and come and visit me? Apart from Hazel, all my friends have turned their backs on me and I really need you to be there for me.'

  Billie looked at the lush of a human who happened to be her mother. She couldn't believe the selfishness of the woman. Michelle seemed more worried about herself than about the poor woman she'd wiped off the face of the earth. Billie picked her handbag up off the floor and stood up. She had to get out. Being around her mother was bringing back too many bad memories.

  'I'm going now, Mum. I need time alone to get my head round all of this. I think you need to take a long hard look at yourself. Ten minutes I've been here and you haven't showed one iota of remorse for the poor woman that you killed. You haven't even mentioned her family or anything. As usual, everything is about you, you and you and I'm sick of it, Mum. Maybe going to prison will do you good and make you into a nicer person. At least you won't be able to drink in there. That's your problem, the drink. It's the bane of your life and until you get some help, you're not going to change. Think about what I've said, 'cause all of it's true. I'll be in touch.'

  Lost for words, Michelle watched Billie walk out of the door.

  Danny woke up on the sofa feeling like complete shit. He'd managed to avoid Debbie by not coming home till two in the morning. Now he was being woken up by her whining fucking voice.

  'Want some breakfast, babe?' she asked in her common Essex accent.

  Danny ignored her and walked into the bedroom. He pulled the quilt over his head and went back to sleep. Debbie made herself some Marmite on toast and a coffee. She was glad he'd gone back to bed, as she had something important to do.

  Taking the carrier bag into the bathroom, she locked the door and proceeded to unwrap the pregnancy test that she'd bought the day before. When she saw the blue line appear, she could hardly contain her excitement. Danny was the type of bloke she'd been trying to collar all of her life and now she had him trapped. He'd been a bit quiet and off with her lately and she was sure he was missing seeing his son. Well, he wouldn't have to worry any more, now he had another baby on the way. She could hardly wait for him to wake up to tell him the good news.

  Billie tried to put her mother's awful situation out of her mind, as she prepared for Jade and Terry Junior to arrive that afternoon. Jade had been promising to come down for weeks, but because of work commitments and then Terry Junior having chickenpox, she'd had to cancel twice.

  Billie couldn't wait to see her. She was staying for two nights and travelling back on Sunday. Jamie, being the diamond that he was, had guessed they had a lot of catching up to do and had arranged to stay at his mum's.

  'Tell Jade I'll take you all out for a meal tomorrow and don't forget, if you get any grief off Danny, ring me and I'll come straight home,' he shouted as he reached his car.

  Jade arrived shortly afterwards. Billie couldn't believe how radiant she looked. She'd had her long blonde hair cut into a modern shoulder-length style and looked absolutely fantastic. Terry Junior had grown up so much, he was barely recognisable. He talked ten to the dozen in a part-Somerset, part-London accent. His hair was short and spiky and he looked uncannily like her father. He was so cute you could almost eat him.

  Jade fussed terribly over Danny Junior and Billie was ecstatic as both boys got on immediately. Watching DJ showing Terry Junior his new toy, Billie smiled at Jade.

  'We don't call him Danny any more, we only call him DJ now. In fact I'm hoping to change his name by deed poll. If I can do it without having the arsehole's consent, I will. I want him to have as little in common with that bastard as possible.'

  Jade laughed. 'I make you one hundred per cent right. Now then, tell me all about Jamie.'

  Billie needed no encouragement. Twenty minutes later, she still hadn't come up for air. 'In fact,' she finished, 'I can honestly say, for the first time since my dad died, that I feel my life is worth living. That's how happy he's made me.'

  'I am so, so pleased for you, Billie, I really am. Now I've got some news for you. Please don't be angry with me, will you?'

  'Why, what's happened?' Billie was intrigued.

  'I've met someone. His name's Mike. He's a doctor at a local hospital near where I live. He's forty years old and I really like him. He's the first bloke I've given the time of day to since your dad. I still love your dad, Bill, and I always will, but at the end of the day, he's gone and he's not coming back, is he? You're not angry with me, are you?'

  Billie immediately put Jade out of her misery. 'You dopey cow. Of course I'm not angry with you. I'm really pleased that you've met someone. I know how much you loved my dad, but you have to get on with your life, Jade. Now tell me more about Dr Mike. I want to know every little detail. Is he good-looking? Is he rich? Is he good in bed?'

  Jade hugged her friend, laughed at her curiosity and cried tears of joy at the same time. 'I'm so pleased you're happy for me, Billie. I was so worried about telling you.'

  Billie squeezed Jade tightly and cried tears of happiness with her. 'What are we like, both sitting here howling, eh? Even our kids are looking at us like we're a pair of nutters. Why don't I get that cold bottle of champagne out of the fridge and we'll both celebrate our new-found happiness.'

  Jade wiped her eyes and smiled. 'I'll drink to that.'

  Danny O'Leary woke up late in the afternoon. The smell of good food cooking wafted through the bedroom door. He got dressed quickly. He was absolutely starving.

  Hearing movement, Debbie wandered into the bedroom. 'Oh, you're awake. Had a nice sleep, babe, did ya?'

  Danny couldn't be bothered with small talk. 'What's for dinner?'

  Debbie smiled; she liked to please her man. 'Roast chicken, stuffing, Yorkshire pudding, roast potatoes and vegetables. Oh, and I've got us strawberry trifle and double cream for afters.'

  Danny looked at her in amazement. 'Fuck me, you're pushing the boat out, ain't ya? What's the special occasion?'

  'I'll tell you after we've eaten,' Debbie said, almost bursting with pride.

  Danny opened the lager he was handed and wondered what the fuck was up. A roast dinner on a Friday was unheard of and he wondered what was behind it. 'I hope she ain't gonna propose, I need that like I need a hole in the head,' he muttered quietly while she was out of earshot. Danny hadn't eaten for approximately forty-eight hours and devoured his dinner like a gannet.

  Debbie took the dirty plates out to the kitchen and brought in the dessert.
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  'I can't eat that yet, girl. I'm bloated enough as it is. Stick it on the table. You can get me another beer while you're up, though.'

  Debbie sat on the armchair and smiled at him lovingly. Danny was watching the telly, but out of the corner of his eye, he could see her looking at him with a psycho expression on her face.

  'Come on then, what you got to tell me?' he asked in a bored voice.

  'I've got some really good news and I'm sure you'll be pleased,' Debbie gabbled excitedly.

  'With a bit of luck you've met someone else, or you're emigrating to Australia,' Danny muttered under his breath.

  'We're having a baby, Danny. Can you believe it? I'm pregnant.'

  Danny looked at her in horror. Noticing his expression, Debbie rambled on. 'Look I know it wasn't planned, but we'll be so happy together, me, you and the baby. I just know we will.'

  Danny stood up and walked over to where she was sitting. Putting his hands on either side of her armchair, he moved towards her, so his face was an inch away. 'You stupid fucking bitch.' Grasping her neck with both hands, he spoke quietly. 'You ring around tomorrow and get an abortion sorted, do you understand me?'

  Debbie nodded in horror as she felt his hands tighten round her neck. 'I thought you'd be pleased,' she managed to croak.

  'Well I fucking ain't,' he said viciously. 'I don't care what it costs. I'll pay for it, but I'm telling you now, if you ain't got rid of that thing growing inside you by next week, I'm gonna personally kick the fucking thing out of you. Now, do you understand where I coming from?'

  Debbie nodded dumbly. She was petrified and couldn't have spoken even if she had tried. Danny loosened the grip on her neck and walked away from her. He could have throttled the silly tart there and then quite easily. Grabbing his phone and keys, he noticed the untouched strawberry trifle lying on the table. Unable to stop himself, he picked it up and slung it at her with all the force he could muster.

  'Enjoy your dessert, dear. Now you're eating for two, you can have the whole lot, you stupid fucking bitch.'

  Pulling up outside his local, Danny sat in the car park and banged his head against the steering wheel. Getting out his couver, he nosed a couple of lines. Finding the half-full bottle of Jack Daniels from the night before, Danny began guzzling it. The quick hit of drink and drugs made him morose. Everything had been going so well for him until he'd met Billie fucking Jo. She'd been his downfall and his insides were torn to pieces at the thought of her shagging his ex-best mate.

  He'd lost everything – his home, his pride, his son – and it was all down to her. Even the fact he'd got that silly tart Debbie pregnant was her doing. If Billie hadn't denied him his fucking sexual rights, he would never have got involved with Debbie in the first place. Picking up his phone, he tried Billie's number again. Seven rings and it went onto answerphone. As he swigged the last drop of JD, Danny's temper got the better of him and he hurled the empty bottle at the nearby churchyard wall.

  'Hi, this is Billie. Leave a message and I'll call you back.'

  Near to tears, Danny left a message.

  'Billie, it's me. I've been sitting here thinking and I've come to the conclusion that you've ruined my life, you fucking bitch. You denied me my sexual rights, ruined my party, you took my boy away and ran off with my best fucking mate. You really must hate me as there's not much else you could have done to me, but I'm telling you now, Bill, and I mean it, I'm gonna do the same to you. I will ruin your life just the same as you've ruined mine and I'll make you pay for everything bad you've ever done to me. Then you'll know how I'm feeling right now. I swear on Danny Junior's life, I'll get you back, Billie Jo. I'll tell you what I'm gonna fucking do, shall I . . . ?'

  The answerphone message ran out of space before Danny could complete his next sentence.

  THIRTY-SIX

  Billie shook as she made Jamie listen to the message on her answerphone.

  'What are we gonna do? I'm so scared. Say he tries to snatch DJ or—'

  'Ssh.' Jamie stopped her in mid-sentence and protectively wrapped his arms around her. 'Everything's gonna be fine, Billie. Look, first things first. Marsha said we have to report any threats to the Old Bill, so we'll go and do that now. They'll advise us what to do next, and in the meantime you can ring Marsha and see what she suggests.'

  'OK.' Billie Jo felt sick with fear. Danny O'Leary was a nutcase and she wished she had never laid eyes on him.

  Michelle sat in Hazel's car and watched the people entering the building.

  'They all look like not-rights,' she said to Hazel.

  'They're just normal people who have problems, Chelle. They're no different to me and you.'

  Hazel had found Chelle a list of AA meetings on the internet. Chelle's solicitor had insisted that she attend. He had told her it would do her forthcoming court case the world of good if she were to make an effort. Chelle had been totally against the idea.

  'I'm not sitting round a table telling my innermost secrets to a load of fucking gone-wrongs,' she'd obstinately told Hazel.

  'You have to go, Chelle. As your brief says, he can't help you unless you're willing to help yourself.

  Begrudgingly, Chelle had agreed. 'I ain't going to a meeting round here, Hazel. I'm bound to be recognised and I'm definitely not sitting on some council estate with a load of fucking down-and-outs. Find me one in a well-to-do area where there is a better class of drunk.'

  Hazel chuckled. Typical Chelle. She searched the net and found a meeting in Chigwell for her.

  'Right, I'm ready. Wait here for me, Hazel, in case they're a load of nutters. If they are, I'm not staying.' Taking a deep breath, Michelle strode towards the building.

  Debbie Jones put the quilt over her head and sobbed like a baby. The bedding smelt of Danny's aftershave. Breathing in his scent, she tried to fathom out why things had gone so bloody wrong. Before he'd gone into nick, their relationship had been great and he hadn't been able to keep his hands off her. Since he'd moved in she rarely saw him. He worked late most nights and sometimes didn't come home at all. When he did come home, he was distant with her. Being ignored Debbie could handle, but him attacking her had been unexpected and totally uncalled for.

  Looking at her phone, she debated whether to tell her mum. She quickly decided against the idea. Her mum had always told her that she moved men in too quickly. 'I told you so' was the last thing she needed to hear at this particular moment. Pregnant and alone, Debbie sobbed herself to sleep.

  * * *

  Jamie drove slowly into the cul-de-sac, allowing Billie to clock the numbers.

  'Number eleven, that's it. Park here, Jamie.'

  Obeying his girlfriend's orders, Jamie smiled at her. 'Now are you sure you don't want me to come in with you?'

  'I'll be fine. You stay here with DJ. I won't be long.'

  Fighting her way through the overgrown front garden, Billie tapped on the door. She had decided to ring Danny's mum after coming out of the police station. 'Pop round and see me, darling,' Brenda had insisted.

  'Hello, lovey.'

  Ushering her into the living room, Brenda moved some toys off the sofa. 'Sit there, Billie, while I make you a coffee. I'm sorry about the mess, my kids are a bloody nightmare. No matter how much housework I do, the place always looks like a shithole.'

  Billie smiled to herself. The place looked as if it had been ransacked. It was absolutely rotten. No wonder Danny had liked it round her mother's house.

  'Thanks,' Billie said, as she was handed a chipped mug.

  'Where are the kids?'

  'My Shane's got a girlfriend now, he's round hers. Jermain, Brandon and Aleesha are out playing. Streetrakers they are, I've no control over 'em whatsoever. How's my grandson? Why didn't you bring him with you, Billie?'

  'I needed to talk to you alone, Brenda.'

  Eyes filling up with tears, Billie filled Brenda in with the latest news. She let her listen to all of Danny's abusive messages. Brenda handed the phone back to Billie.

 
; 'Apart from apologising for giving birth to him, I don't know what to say to you. What was he going on about when he said you'd run off with his best mate?'

  Billie felt embarrassed as she explained the situation to Brenda. 'Jamie's been so kind to me and DJ. Honestly, Bren, without him I don't know what I would have done. I tried everything I could to make things work with Danny, but all he ever did was throw it back in my face. I told you at the party what he did to me. He raped me, cheated on me and hit me. Jamie is so different to him. Please don't think badly of me, will you?'

  Brenda stood up and moved next to Billie. Putting an arm round her, she smiled. 'If you've got a chance of happiness, you grab it with both hands, girl. Me, I never had that chance. Bastard after bastard I picked and look how my life's ended up. Part of me blames myself for the way Danny is, you know. I was on the game when he was a kid. He had a terrible childhood, I know he did. I was off me head on drink and drugs most of the time, whilst Danny was left to fend for himself.'

  Billie noticed a couple of tears running down Brenda's cheek and hugged her tightly.

  'Don't go beating yourself up over the past. Don't blame yourself, Brenda. You're a lovely person and it's not your fault that you had a hard life.'

  Wiping her eyes, Brenda smiled. 'That's the nicest thing that anyone's ever said to me.'

  Billie stood up. 'I'd best being going now, Jamie's outside waiting for me. I'm gonna leave you both of my phone numbers, Bren.'

  Billie took a piece of paper and a pen out of her bag and scribbled them down. 'Ring me any time you want. I'd like to take you out for lunch, just me, you and DJ.'

  'I'd love that.'

  Billie walked to the door. 'If you do see Danny, please don't tell him I've been round, will you?'

  'Never in a million years. You're my friend, Billie, and I would never betray you.'