Lovely Distraction

by J. J. Dorn

  “I couldn’t throw it out, even though you told me to.”

  His voiced startled me and I spun around wide-eyed to see a very half naked Jamieson leaning against the tall four-poster dark wood bed.

  “Why?” We both knew I wasn’t just asking about him keeping my clothes.

  “Because I couldn’t, if I had it would have been the end and I wasn’t ready for that. I don’t think I will ever be ready for that Jenna.” Please this coming from the man that not just broke my heart but ripped it out of my chest.

  “Jamieson—”

  “Don’t Jenna. I don’t want to argue with you tonight. I know I am the one that destroyed everything. I get that, but it doesn’t mean I haven’t regretted it every day since. I made you a promise a while ago and even though you seemed to have forgotten that promise, I have not.”

  “I don’t know what you are talking about.” Could he be any more confusing?

  “I know you don’t, but I’m confident it will come back to you,” he said and climbed into his huge bed with its wicked looking black bedding. There was no way in hell I was getting in that bed, not ever again. I grabbed the blanket from the bench at the end of the bed and proceeded to make a bed on the floor.

  “Jenna what are you doing?” he glared at me from the side of the bed.

  “Making a bed on the floor."

  “I can see that, but why?” he asked baffled.

  “Well Jamieson, the last time I stepped foot in this bedroom I vowed it would be my last. I’m sure you can imagine why.” I said shooting daggers at him.

  Pain washed across his face for a half a second before he jumped out of bed. “Come with me.”

  “No, I’m just getting comfy.” I crossed my arms over my chest.

  “Fine.” He grumbled and bent down scooping me up with my blanket.

  “Damn it, Jamieson! Put me down!” I squirmed trying to get loose from him but to no avail.

  He took large purposeful steps across the room and down the hall. We went pass his office by the staircase and he flung open a door at the far end of the hallway. He flipped on the light and I realized where he had taken me. It was a spare guest room that he rarely used. I had only been in it once maybe twice.

  “I understand if you don’t want to sleep in my bed, but you aren’t going to sleep on the floor.” He dipped down lightly placing me on the bed. He then turned to walk out of the door.

  “Jamieson…” I didn’t really think before I said his name. It just kind of came out.

  “What baby?” He purred in a smooth tone.

  “Can you sit in here with me until I fall asleep?” It was pathetic I know but I couldn’t help it. Five years ago this man made everything right in my world. Being near him could just set my soul at ease. It wasn’t just a comfort that I sought from him it was a peace I had never known in my life until him. I wanted a small part of that again, even if it was just for tonight.

  Jamieson turned out the light and settled into his side of the king bed. “Get under the covers, Jenna, I don’t want you to get cold.”

  I agreed and snuggled under the fluffy comforter.

  “Thank you for understanding why I couldn’t sleep in your room. There are just too many memories in there.” I said into the darkness.

  “I know all about the memories Jenna, they haunt me day and night.” They do?

  CHAPTER TEN

  December 25, 2009…

  “So Jenna, tell us what it is you do?” Jamieson’s intimidating mother, Adeline Wellington questioned me from across the large wood table.

  “Well, I just graduated from the University of Tennessee with a degree in computer science.” I replied as all eyes were on me. Jamieson had neglected to tell me that in addition to his brother and mother, his uncle Phillip would be joining us along with some business associates from London. He had reassured me after I learned of their presence that they were also close family friends that owned a chain of restaurants and bars in London. So far I was really enjoying getting to know them. The husbands name was Lars and the wife was Violet. Violet was stunningly beautiful woman in her mid-fifties. I was seated next to her and we were easily chatting about our favorite designers before Jamieson’s mother had interrupted us.

  “Jenna has also been accepted to the Vanderbilt School of Law.” Jamieson offered from beside me.

  “Well I must say that is rather impressive, Jenna.” Adeline said giving me a warm smile. Jamieson’s mother might be pucker-your-cheeks intimidating but for whatever reason she clearly liked me, which I was thankful for.

  “Yes I must say, James you certainly got yourself an over achiever here,” Uncle Phillip stated coldly.

  Something about Jamieson’s uncle gave me a bad vibe. Perhaps it was all of his creepy dead-eyed stares or maybe it was his intense business talk that bothered me. He was aggressive by nature, it showed in how he carried himself around others, always asserting his presence.

  “Yes Uncle, I certainly did,” Jamieson said and slipped his hand in mine under the table.

  “So Jenna, when will you be leaving for Vanderbilt?” Uncle Phillip asked.

  “August,” I replied. I didn’t want to think about it. I had talked about it briefly with Jamieson and he had reassured me the two hour drive wouldn’t stop us from being together. I tried to make my concerns known to him but he repeatedly just brushed them off telling me two hours was nothing.

  “Long distance relationship, huh?” he asked looking at Jamieson with an eyebrow raised.

  “Yes, Jenna and I don’t really see it as a problem,” Jamieson shot back clearly with an edge to his voice.

  “Well I think that is great.” The lovely Violet piped up from my other side. “I just love seeing young people today making that sort of commitment.”

  “I agree darling, if only we could find a nice young man to settle our own daughter down.” Lars mused. Violet and Lars had informed me earlier that they only had one child, a daughter who was Jamieson’s age and in fact they had been close friends through childhood. I got the feeling though that she was a bit on the wild side and caused her parents much anxiety.

  “Do you have any siblings Jenna?” Violet asked me clearly still trying to help steer the conversation in another direction and bless her for that.

  “Yes. I have an older sister.” I replied.

  “And what does she do?” Adeline joined in the new inquiry.

  “She is a horse trainer.” The beautiful older woman smiled brightly at me.

  “English or western?” Adeline questioned.

  “Show jumping, actually.” I replied through tiny mouthfuls of the delicious feast I was unfortunately not getting to enjoy.

  “Do you ride as well?” I had clearly peaked Adeline’s interest now.

  “Yes. My parents started us in riding lessons at an early age and we just loved it. I showed for many years before I went off to college. I was never as good as my sister, though. She has a very clear gift.”

  “A gift like that is indeed special. I too am an avid equestrian. I mainly own dressage horses now, but I used to dabble in the jumping world. I will have to show you the stables after dinner.”

  “I would love that.” Adeline Wellington was quickly growing on me. At first I found her closed-off and intimidating but now I was seeing a new side to her.

  “Jenna’s sister actually won the Rolex Grand Slam last year. She’s exceptionally good.”

  “I dare say she is, to win such a prestigious competition.” Lars added.

  “That is impressive. I would love to meet her, Jenna. Does she live in Huntsville too?”

  “Yes she does. She’s married and expecting her first child in the next few months.”

  “Oh, how wonderful. Do they know what they are having?”

  “Yes, a girl.” I beamed thinking of my new niece that was coming soon.

  Adeline’s clear approval of my sister’s profession and inquiry into my sister’s life was too much for Ethan who had been relatively mu
m all evening. He quickly stood up slamming his chair backwards across the marble floor and made a hasty exit. If Adeline knew the reason for his displeasure she didn’t let on, she merely ignored him and continued the discussion about horses with Violet, who also was an equestrian owning dressage horses, like Adeline. But if Adeline had missed Ethan’s hasty exit, Jamieson certainly hadn’t. He was visibly upset at his brother’s reaction. This made me uneasy so I quietly finished my dinner and only participated in the conversation when prompted.

  When dinner was finally over, Uncle Phillip demanded that Lars and Jamieson play a game of poker with him. I was hoping that would allow me to return to our room where I could have some much needed alone time. I was just about to head toward the stairs when I heard Adeline call my name. Shit….

  “Jenna, I would love to show you the stables now.”

  I looked at Jamieson for reassurance but he only smiled softly. “Sure, just let me grab my coat.”

  I ran upstairs and grabbed my navy blue down coat and a pair of cream gloves.

  I met Adeline at the front door and she was also bundled up in a warm jacket that complimented her beautiful silver hair. “Ready, my dear?” she asked holding the door open for me.

  The stables weren’t far from the main house. I hadn’t seen them when Jamieson and I arrived the night before but now I could see the palatial building Adeline lovingly called “the barn.” As we entered, the sweet smell of hay and sawdust struck my nose. I loved that smell. Horses had always brought me great joy, they centered me somehow.

  I follow Adeline down the row of horses, listening contently as she explains about each one. They were all truly magnificent and gorgeous. I could tell she also draws that same sense of calmness from the horses. It made me like her that much more.

  “So tell me Jenna, what are your intentions with my son.”

  Her statement caught me completely off guard. I did not see that coming at all and the look on Adeline’s face said she knew it.

  “I uh, I don’t really know how to answer that question.” I stated plainly.

  “I know that.” She replied simply. “What I’m really asking is how do you feel about my son?”

  This question also caught me off guard and I felt my cheeks instantly turn pink. I didn’t know how to answer her. If I told her the truth I risked looking over eager, but if I played it too cool I may seem disinterested.

  “You love him don’t you?” she hadn’t even let me try to answer, she just called me out.

  “Yes,” I decided to be brave and level with her.

  “Does he know that?” She asked.

  “I don’t know. I think so, but I haven’t come out and said the words to him.” I felt my cheeks turn a deep shade of red.

  She didn’t say anything in response for some time she simply just stared into the stall of a beautiful bay stallion. “I wasn’t completely honest with you earlier Jenna. I lead you to believe I didn’t know you had a sister, but the truth is I did know. I also am very aware that she had a relationship with Ethan some time ago.”

  “Oh,” is all I could muster in response.

  “My sons are complicated creatures, Jenna. Their daddy was a complex man and I’m sure you can tell his brother, Phillip is also that way. My husband once described himself and his brother as an intense mixture of light and darkness. Unfortunately, my sons have also inherited these traits. Jamieson has always been much lighter than Ethan. Ethan has always struggled in the darkness much more than his brother. Had I had the chance to meet your sister Jenna I would have told her this very same thing I am about to tell you, loving such a man is a hard life. One can easily lose themselves in the process, so if you’re not willing to risk that it is best to end things now.”

  I let her words sink in for a moment. At first I felt a bit defensive at her directness but as I let the conversation fully wash over me I understood more what she was saying. I respect her for her candor but my response was almost instant. “That is a risk I am willing to take.”

  “I thought you would say that, dear. I said the very same thing to my mother-in-law over forty years ago.” She smiled at me and guided me out the side door of the stable.

  After my unusual visit with Adeline in the barn I retreated to my bedroom. Jamieson was playing poker with Lars and Uncle Phillip still but it was late. I started to get curious about his extended absence so I decided to go investigate. I made my way down the large hallway until I came to the open foyer that overlooked the grand living room. I could hear voices down below so I peered over the edge to find Jamieson talking with his uncle. I could tell even from far away that it was a strained conversation. Jamieson’s body language was rigid and cold. Phillip was leaning forward and seemed animated. I moved closer to the railing trying to listen to their conversation.

  “That was not the plan James! She is not the plan!” Phillip scolded.

  “I don’t care, Uncle!”

  “Fine, I guess the company will just go bankrupt and we will lose everything.”

  “There has to be another way.”

  “There is no other way! The banks won’t loan us any more money. Our only hope is Lars and the nightclubs.”

  “I won’t do this to her.”

  “You don’t have a choice, James, not unless you want to give up everything you have worked so hard for, everything your father worked so hard for.”

  “I won’t give her up.”

  “I know you don’t think you can, but you will. You are just distracted. You have always struggled with staying focused. You need to keep your eye on the prize, James. Your family needs you. Are you going to turn your back on us?” Uncle Phillip spat, then stood and stormed off.

  I quickly stepped back from the balcony not wanting to be discovered and landed smack into something hard.

  “Careful. Eavesdropping in this house can lead to the discovery of some truly ugly things.” Ethan drawled in my ear still holding me tight.

  “I was just… just looking for Jamieson.” I stuttered trying to wiggle loose from his grasp.

  “I’m sure he will be up soon. I can’t imagine he would leave you for very long. He seems quite captivated by you.”

  I didn’t know what to say to that so I stepped away and made my way back to the bedroom Jamieson and I were sharing.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  The next morning I woke to Jamieson’s large arm draped over top of me. I don’t remember falling asleep or him moving close to me. I’m torn. Part of me wants to recoil and swat his arm away, but the other side of me wants to snuggle deep against him. I opt for neither of those things and just quietly lay there relishing in his gentle touch and enjoying the intoxicating smell of his cologne. There was a time in my life that I thought I couldn’t live without that touch or that smell, but now I knew the truth. I could live without him and I had to.

  I attempted to squeeze my shoulders out from underneath him without waking him but with no success.

  “I see you’re finally awake.” Wait, was he pretending to sleep?

  I pulled myself out from underneath him. “I uh, I need to get home.”

  “I’ll drive you, just let me go put on some clothes.” Jamieson rose out of the bed and he was only wearing his boxers. I shouldn’t have been surprised. He loved to sleep naked. I was more shocked he even kept the boxers on.

  I followed him into his bedroom to gather my clothes from last night and my purse. Jamieson quickly put on a pair of dark wash jeans and a white t-shirt. His outfit may have been simple but there was something about it that was sexy as hell. I felt myself staring so I immediately headed downstairs. That’s when I remembered that Olivia would probably still be there. She didn’t think I knew but she had been shacking up with Julian lately.

  When I got to the first floor I searched around but it seemed pretty quiet. I checked the front of the house and of course her car was gone.

  “They left early this morning. I told them I would bring you home.”

  Jamieson sta
rtled me. I didn’t hear him come down the stairs.

  “Alright.” I conceded.

  I followed him to his massive garage. The stupid thing can fit six cars or more. I headed toward the truck; it is the closet vehicle to the door and the one I knew he drove the most. Jamieson however didn’t stop at the truck he had continued down the row of vehicles until he came to the sporty black Aston Martin.

  “Get in, Jenna.” He commanded.

  He was doing this on purpose, I knew him. He was well aware the memories this vehicle held. The last time he and I had sex was in that ridiculous car. It was the hottest sex I had ever had, hands down. I have relived that memory a thousand times in my mind. I knew I could protest but that would just prove to him how much I remembered. Instead, I opted to ignore it and climbed in like it meant nothing to me.

  As I fastened my seatbelt I caught Jamieson staring at me and for a brief second I saw the flash of memories in his eyes. He too remembered that night.

  He pushed a button and the car roared to life. Music flooded around us through the sound system. I thought about reaching forward to turn it down but I didn't do it. It took me a minute to realize the song but then it came to me. It was Desire by Meg Myers it sent unwanted butterflies loose in my belly. The song blared as he sped down the private drive. The haunting melody overtook me and I felt myself get lost in the backdrop of scenery as it whizzed past us.

  When we got to my apartment, Jamieson parked the car and turned it off. “Thanks for the ride.” I told him.

  “When are you telling your parents?” His question only slightly surprised me.

  “Today.” I decided not to look at him; I didn’t want him to see the fear in my eyes.

  “I want to go with you,” he declared.

  “No. That is nice of you to offer but I don’t think it’s the best idea,” I replied.

  “Jenna, I am to blame for this and I would like to be there for you when you have to tell your parents.”