Give Me Love

by Kate McCarthy

  “They weren’t complete losers, Henry.”

  Henry raised one eyebrow at me as I moved to the fridge.

  “Okay, well maybe Asshole Kellar was, but his car wasn’t. Wild Renny was just misunderstood, you know. I wonder what he’s doing now?”

  Henry handed me a mug of tea along with a warning. “Wild Renny is out of your life, Evie. I don’t want you thinking about him or wondering anything about him. Clear?”

  Henry liked to act like the big bossy brother sometimes, and on this particular subject, I usually allowed it because alongside Coby, he was the one who helped pick up the pieces when my life had spiralled out of control.

  I pulled him in for a soothing hug, knowing the memories made him tense and angry.

  “I’m clear, Henry.”

  He squeezed me tight before pulling away, nodding and moving to the couch indicating he wanted to watch music videos.

  I finished making my slice, popped it in the fridge to set, made a pile of vegemite toast, and joined Henry. I promptly ate the pile of toast and passed out.

  A message from Mac woke me up as I lay drooling all over Henry’s chest with a piece of vegemite toast mashed into my face.

  M: Have you left yet? If you don’t leave now, you’re gonna be late, asshead!

  “Shit, Henry, wake up!”

  Henry was lying on his back, lightly snoring into a cushion. I shoved his shoulder. When he didn’t move, I shoved harder and he accidentally went off the edge of the couch. I winced when his head bounced off the floor with a crack.

  “Evie. What the fuck?”

  I lifted my chin up in challenge. I didn’t mean to crack his head, but I had to roll with it now. “I tried for ages to wake you,” I lied.

  Henry pounced and we wrestled on the floor like ten year olds. Henry knew all my best moves, and because of my aversion to defeat, I retreated, leaping off him and racing for the stairs instead. I needed to wash my face now that I had vegemite smeared up the side of my cheek.

  Henry, realising my intentions, raced passed me on the stairs and shoved into my shoulder so that I stumbled. I should have remembered that move because he surged ahead, flew into the bathroom, and slammed the door.

  “Damn you, Henry,” I shouted.

  I changed into a pair of hot pink capris and a black singlet top, and because it was hot, pulled my hair into a knot of curls at the nape of my neck. Sliding my feet into black flip flops, I was ready to go, and we were only ten minutes late by the time I parked my Hilux in front of Steve and Jenna’s house. Coby had bought me the car for my birthday two years ago. It was a double-cab with turbo diesel in tidal blue and kicked car ass. In addition to kicking car ass, it also helped cart around musical equipment when needed while still making me feel like I owned the road just a little, which was extremely satisfying.

  Steve and Jenna’s house in Balmain was a renovated two storey rendered brick affair with bright green, well-tended shrubbery and a giant wall of jasmine vine currently in bloom along either side of the house. Apparently, the barbecue had just hit full swing if the amount of cars parked in the driveway and street were anything to go by.

  I tilted my head to glare at Frog and Cooper through the rear view mirror.

  “Cooper,” I growled.

  “Sandwich,” he drawled with a grin.

  “Do I look like I need a seeing eye dog?”

  I threw up my hands in defeat when no one was willing to meet my eyes, but half the missing slice and coconut crumbed lips told the story that no one needed to verbalise. The boys were like hoovers when it came to food; nothing was safe.

  I opened the car door, jumped out, and slammed it shut. As the four of us congregated on the lawn, I snatched the plate of slice out of Frog’s pilfering hands and shoved it at Henry.

  “You all better be on your best behaviour,” I hissed and pointed my finger for extra emphasis. “This is Mac’s mum’s place.”

  Frog offered a wink. “You can trust us.”

  “Said the spider to the fly,” I muttered under my breath as we made our way to the front door.

  Cooper and Frog, named simply because his full name was Jason Froggatt, presented a united front behind me. They were close. I liked to joke that if they had a song, Queen’s You’re my Best Friend would be it, and if they didn’t love women so much, they’d try their best to turn gay for each other. They even looked alike: Frog barely an inch taller than Cooper’s five foot eleven, silky black hair that fell into their eyes, and golden tanned skin. Though Cooper's eyes were so dark they appeared black, and Frog’s were a light hazel. They even dressed alike in their skinny jeans and tight faded Silverchair or Wolfmother t-shirts.

  Cooper grew up in Melbourne and transferred to our uni, joining our band when our previous keyboardist of six months quit due to creative differences. Cooper spoke fluent keyboard like we’d never seen and had moved into Frog and Jake’s apartment across the hall from ours two weeks later.

  Fast friends, they saw each other through a bad break up or two, which included an epic public showdown between Frog and his then girlfriend Rachel. That relationship lasted a whole year before they had a split so publicly volatile it was the talk of uni campus for two weeks, not including the week the breakup dragged on for. Frog remained tight-lipped, but it became public knowledge that she cheated on him. Frog, being wild and crazy and a rule bender, was popular at uni. This made Rachel very unpopular, and three months later, she packed her bags and transferred back home.

  One month after that, Coopers girlfriend Natalie copped a mugging and a black eye, blamed Cooper for it in the twisted way that Natalie managed to blame everyone for everything bad that happened in her life, and dumped him on his ass.

  No one had ever liked Natalie and the feeling was mutual, so seeing the back of her earned Cooper a one week supply of free alcohol at the uni bar. We would have made it longer, but if you knew how much he could put away you would understand.

  At our knock, we heard a voice yell that the door was open. Jenna came out of the kitchen at our arrival, rushing over to envelop me in a sweet smelling hug. I hugged back―hard because I’d missed her. Both she and Steve had visited us in Melbourne every chance they got, and Mac and I would take her shopping on Chapel Street, my favourite place to spend money.

  “Genevieve, honey...” she palmed both of my cheeks in her hands “...how are you?”

  She looked into my eyes, concern filling her gaze because Jenna was always a mother first. She was sharp and capable, kept herself toned with regular yoga, and wore her blonde hair in a neat bob. She was also pushing for grandkids harder than a drill sergeant on a recruitment drive. With all the Valentine offspring currently unattached, it wasn’t looking good for her. Without waiting for my reply, her green eyes gleamed as she leaned in. “Jared is out back, honey. You should go say hello.”

  She winked at me meaningfully, and I knew she’d been apprised of recent events between Jared and me. It appeared Mac had been busily recruiting while I had my eye off the ball. This did not bode well.

  She reached around me to pull Henry into a hug.

  “Hey, honey, how are you?”

  “Uh, good thanks, Mrs Valentine,” Henry managed.

  “Jenna, please, honey.” She took the proffered plate out of Henry’s hands. “Oh, are these for us? You know how much everyone loves this slice, Evie.” She smiled at me kindly, obviously remembering I made it for them in honour of their first visit to our Melbourne apartment.

  “Well, half of it's gone now, thanks to banana one and two there.” I rolled my eyes towards Frog and Cooper.

  She raised one eyebrow in a mock glare. “Well. None for them later then,” she said, putting the slice down on the kitchen counter to grab them both in a hug.

  “Hi, Mrs Valentine,” they both mumbled.

  “Jenna, please,” she addressed them. “Go get your butts outside. Steve is manning the barbecue, and the esky is by the big table,” she called out as we headed outside.

>   The yard was half tiled with thick sandstone, and the other half had a lush green lawn with Jenna's prized vegie patch running along the side of the fence. A rectangle pool sat to the left, surrounded by a clear perspex fence, and was half covered under a big cream coloured shade sail. The water rippled invitingly in the early afternoon sun, and a heated game of water volleyball was going on. A bikini clad Mac was smack bang in the middle of a Hot Guy Volleyball Sandwich and looked as though she was in no hurry to rectify the situation.

  “Genevieve!” Steve called out and made his way over, waving his tongs about through the throng of people as Henry, Frog, and Cooper made for the esky. He grabbed me in a big hug, lifting me off my feet, and I shivered with delight because Steve was the big gruff dad I never had. Once again, I squeezed back hard.

  “You look beautiful, my girl,” he said, indicating my outfit.

  “Thanks, Steve. How's it going?”

  “Good, good, apart from the fact that Jenna invited half of Sydney,” he muttered covertly, though I could see the twinkle in his eye. He loved entertaining since his retirement from the force, living for the weekends when he could crank up the barbecue. We chatted for a moment on recent current events; Steve liked to follow the World News religiously and felt it was his duty to then inform everyone else.

  “Why don't you have a drink yet?” he demanded, looking about. “Where’s Jenna?”

  “She's busy in the kitchen I think. It's okay, I can get my own.”

  “Rubbish. Ah, here's Jared to the rescue.”

  Jared was strolling my way, juice in one hand, glass of wine in the other, eyes glittering hotly as he took me in.

  Henry trailed along behind carrying two beers. No doubt his purpose was to eavesdrop on all verbal (and non-verbal for that matter) exchanges and report back to Mac at the next available opportunity.

  “I better get back before those steaks catch fire. Leave you kids to it,” Steve muttered distractedly as he made his way back from where he came, slapping Jared and Henry heartily on the back along the way and stopping every so often to chatter with the people milling about.

  “Hey, baby,” Jared leaned over and planted a kiss on my cheek.

  The gesture had my skin tingling where his lips touched me, and despite the insistent voice telling me to move away, my legs appeared unwilling to listen.

  “Jared,” I replied.

  He grinned, displaying his dimple. “Wine or juice?”

  “Juice, please.”

  I took it with a grateful sigh as I watched Steve’s retreating back. Jared sat the wine down, and Henry handed him the second beer.

  “Thanks. I love your dad.”

  I took a massive gulp of the nice icy cold drink, and my eyes found Jenna who now stood next to Steve at the barbecue, watching us with delight as she tittered something in Steve’s ear.

  “I love your mum too.”

  Jared put an arm around my shoulders comfortably and tucked me into his side. “You know they love you like a daughter.”

  I did know this. Jenna made sure to inform me on a regular basis, but I appreciated the reassurance of his words.

  I listened quietly as Jared and Henry chatted about his work and how busy they were lately when I heard a voice in my ear and felt a wall at my back.

  “Hey, there’s my dancing partner.” Two well-muscled arms encircled my waist to give a quick squeeze.

  “Travis!” I grinned delightedly as Jared frowned at the both of us.

  Travis was almost a carbon copy of Jared only his green eyes were a little lighter, his hair a little shorter and more blond, and he was maybe an inch taller. Travis was at the White Demon last night for our show and after party. I loved to dance and the fact that Travis wasn’t bad at it, and rarely left the dance floor, meant we’d stuck close to each other for most of the party.

  He came around to stand in our huddle.

  “Jared was just telling us how well the business was going because you all seem so busy.”

  “It is going well,” he said. “Jared and I are lucky enough to have a rare day off while Casey and Coby are stuck working, so let’s not talk shop.”

  “Agreed,” said Jared. “In fact...” he grabbed my hand and yanked me away “...we’re going for a swim.”

  “We are? But I didn’t bring swimmers.”

  He changed direction. “This way then. Mac keeps a heap in her old room.”

  He led me inside the house and up the stairs to Mac’s old room. I started to snoop about with great interest because Jenna had left their rooms intact after they’d all eventually moved out, giving the impression she was keeping them that way for future grandkids. Jared went straight to a drawer, yanked it open, and pulled out a pretty little yellow bikini.

  “Here.” He walked over, interrupting my perusal of Mac’s hoard of historical romance novels. Who knew Mac had such a romantic side?

  I took the bikini he held out and went to step away, but he effectively blocked me in.

  Dammit. He still smelled really good.

  My head tilted back to meet his eyes.

  “Why do I get the feeling you’re keeping things from me?” he asked, his voice low and gentle. His face came close to mine, and my pulse raced. Once again, my gaze was drawn to his lips, unable to forget their heat.

  “I don’t really know what you mean,” I mumbled.

  I put my hands on his chest in a half-hearted shove because he was standing too close and it was making me dizzy.

  He didn’t budge.

  “We’re supposed to be friends, but there are pieces of yourself you’re keeping locked away. What is it? It’s got something to do with this geek parade that Mac keeps yabbering on about doesn’t it? What’s that about?”

  “Nothing,” I lied. “Smart guys are cool, you know.”

  “I didn’t say they weren’t. Is it me? Have I offended you in some way? I might have thought it was because I kissed you, but it’s like you’ve had your guard up since the moment I met you.”

  His words threw me off balance, and I wasn’t sure how to respond.

  “I think that―”

  “No. Don’t think. You’ve been doing too much of that. Just tell me what’s going on.”

  “It’s not any of your business, Jared.”

  He leaned in close, too close, and I thought he might actually kiss me again.

  “Evie.” He breathed against my mouth, his lips hovering over mine. “That hurts. You’re my friend and that makes you my business.”

  If I was just your friend, why did you kiss me the way you did back at Zen that night, and if that was all I wanted you to be, why did I let you?

  Jared’s phone saved me from verbalising my inner confusion.

  He stepped away, pulling it out of his back pocket, and looked at the screen before answering.

  I dragged in a few deep breaths, both grateful for the reprieve and disappointed in a way I wasn’t prepared to acknowledge.

  “Coby.” Pause. “Where?” Longer pause. “Fifteen minutes.”

  He ended the call, tucking the phone away, and locked his eyes on mine. “I have to go.”

  The best I could manage was a mute nod because he was leaving, and even before he was gone, I felt bereft.

  “I have to go away for a couple of weeks for work tomorrow. I wanna hear from you.”

  I nodded again and his eyes went warm as he tapped his finger gently on my nose.

  “See you, Evie.”

  “Bye, Jared,” I whispered.

  He turned and left so I changed into the yellow bikini and sat quietly on the bed for moment, wondering how on earth I was going to manage denying myself what I wanted. Seriously. It was like waving a bag of lollies in front of a starving child.

  “There you are!”

  Mac rounded the doorway and her gaze swept the room for Jared. Remembering Mac’s recruitment drive, I thought I’d try catching her off guard. “I saw your books, Mac.”

  It worked when she paused in confusion.
“My books?”

  “Do you think Jared is going to come in, rescue me, sweep me over his shoulder, carry me to his giant steed, and we’ll ride to his moat-surrounded castle and live happily ever after?”

  With guilt filling her eyes, her gaze slid to the books on her shelves.

  “No,” she lied.

  “Mactard,” I said in warning.

  She sighed dramatically and flopped down on the bed. “Jared is a good guy, Evie.”

  “Good guys still break hearts,” I snapped.

  “Where is he anyway?”

  “He had to leave.”

  “Pity.”

  “Oh yeah? Why’s that?”

  She gave my boobs, currently busting out of her yellow bikini because I had a way bigger handful than she did, a pointed glance.

  “Jared is a boob man,” she said knowingly.

  I smacked her in the head with the pillow that was on the bed and flounced out of the room and down to the pool, proceeding to cannonball the five current occupants, dunk Henry three times, and eat a late lunch before we said our goodbyes.

  Chapter Four

  The next two weeks flew by like a supersonic jet, hurtling me towards certain doom because Jared would be home any day now, and I still had no idea what to do about him.

  Mac, bless her managerial bossy soul, had gotten us another booking at the White Demon in a week, assuring us the feedback was high enough to go through the ceiling. If that didn’t say potential scout, then I really did have a Great Aunt Dottie.

  Jared and I seemed to have moved passed the kissing incident and were back to our daily texting as friends.

  E: What are you doing?

  He messaged a photo of a huge dull conference room full of people.

  J: Stuck inside a conference room in Brisbane.

  I snapped a photo of the brilliant sunshine and blue surf.

  E: I am at the beach :-P

  Later that night, I snapped a photo of my sunburnt face. Even my olive skin wasn’t used to the harsher sunshine.

  E: Thinking of changing my name to Hellgirl: Beast of the Apocalypse.

  J: Get some aloe on that beautiful face of yours, Hellgirl.