Selfish

by Shantel Tessier

  He shuts the door and turns to face me and lets out a heavy sigh. I lean back in my chair, and he begins his speech. “Son, you know I don’t judge others by how they live their life.” I frown at his words. “Or make their living. But if you bring a hooker to the wedding, your mother will have a cow. Just like she did when you brought one to your Uncle Ben’s birthday party.”

  “I was doing him a favor,” I say, trying not to smile. “His wife had just left him, took his three kids and the dog. He wasn’t gonna get that hot of an ass without paying for it.” It was the best birthday gift he could have gotten. He told me that like ten times.

  “Be that as it may, you could have warned me because your mother didn’t see it that way,” he states.

  “Uncle Ben couldn’t thank me enough. And look, now they’re married,” I say with a smile.

  “They’re getting a divorce,” he corrects me, and I frown.

  “Oh,” I say simply.

  “You know I couldn’t care less how you choose to blow your money. I’m just saying your mother does, and I’m the one who has to live with her.”

  I laugh, like that really matters. He dodges her phone calls just as much as I do. And they live in a mansion. I’m pretty sure they don’t even sleep in the same bedroom. “I promise. She is not a hooker,” I repeat.

  “So you say, but I’m going to ask you again. Does she require some kind of currency?”

  I lean forward and cock an eyebrow. “Well, you of all people should know, Dad, nothing comes for free.”

  He clears his throat and nods his head all of a sudden uneasy with this conversation. “Will you be riding with me, your mother, and sister?”

  I shake my head. “We’ll be taking our own transportation.”

  He turns and opens the door. “Lord help me,” he mumbles and then walks out as I laugh.

  ASHLYN

  Before we knew it, our vacation was over. And during the following week, we finished packing what we needed and sold what we didn’t plan to take with us to New York. The apartment that Becca’s parents bought her is fully furnished. Therefore, the only thing we are taking with us is our clothes. Our furniture wasn’t anything special anyway, and to move what we did have cross-country would cost me a large fortune that I don’t have at the moment, so I’ve sold everything that I didn’t need.

  We were down to our last night in Seattle, and we decided to spend the night at my parents’ house. I didn’t know when I might see them again, and the apartment was now empty.

  My mom, Becca, and I sit on their couch while my father sits in his old brown leather recliner. My mother has been trying to throw it away for years, but he won’t part with it. “Dinner was great. Thanks, Mom,” I say, rubbing my belly. She made my favorite. Homemade lasagna.

  “Yes. Thanks, Margaret,” Becca says.

  She sniffs. “Who am I gonna cook for after you girls leave?” she wonders aloud.

  “I’m not going anywhere,” my father says as if she hurt his feelings.

  She rolls her eyes. “I know that. But your idea of dinner is KFC or a taco truck.”

  She stretches her arms out wide, draping them over mine and Becca’s shoulders since she sits between us and pulls us in for a group hug. “I can’t believe you are leaving tomorrow. This place won’t be the same without you.”

  “You sure you don’t wanna take my car?” my father asks.

  I laugh. “How would I get it there?” Becca and I are flying.

  “Your father and I can drive it to you,” my mother says excitedly.

  “I was joking, Mom.” My father had helped me sell my car that they got me for my high school graduation on Craigslist. It stung a little to get rid of it. I loved that car. It was a BMW X5. They had bought it for me brand new four years ago as my present to go off to college. I got around twenty-five thousand for it. I tried to give them some of it, but they wouldn’t take it. Said that was my money.

  I didn’t think I would need a car in New York. Becca tells me that our apartment, which I haven’t even seen, is in the middle of Manhattan and most people walk or take cabs anyway. “That’s very nice, Dad, but I don’t need your car.”

  He looks reluctant to take my no for an answer, but there’s nothing to argue about. After a few long seconds of silence, he stands. “I’m gonna head to bed.” He comes over to us and kisses me on the forehead. “Night, sugar.” Then he walks over to the other side of the couch and does the same to Becca. “Coming to bed, Momma?” he asks my mom.

  “Later,” she tells him, and he nods. “I’m gonna spend some time with the girls.”

  Two hours later and starting our second Nicholas Sparks movie, me, my mother, and Becca are laughing and talking about the last four years of our lives.

  “I’m surprised Becca liked me enough to be my best friend,” I say with a smile.

  “What? How can you say that?” she asks before taking a sip of her third glass of red wine. “I knew the moment you sat down next to me in class that we would be best friends.”

  I walk into my first class of my first year of college and blow a few loose strands of blond hair out of my face. I’m tired and hungover from a party I had gone to last night. I literally went home long enough to change clothes and here I am.

  I scan the room, looking for an available seat. I find two in the very back, and I continue my search. I may not look reasonable, but I’m here and ready to learn. I finally spot an open seat on the first row. Smiling, I go to sit down in it when a man beats me to it. He plops down and leans over to speak to the brunette who sits next to him. She has an enormous bag of gummy bears on her desk. I can’t hear what he is saying to her over all the chatter, but she seems to be ignoring him.

  He reaches over taking the bag off her desk and proceeds to stick his hands inside to grab some. “Hey,” she says, giving him the evil eye. “Get your dirty hands out of my gummy bears,” she orders.

  He just smirks at her. I walk over to them and come to a stop in front of their seats. He’s too busy to notice me as he stuffs his face with the colorful little bears. I yank the bag out of his hands.

  “Aren’t those the ones that give you the shits?” I ask.

  He looks up at me, half of a red gummy bear hanging out of his mouth. “Huh?” he mumbles.

  “I’ve read the reviews on Amazon, and they are giving people the shits.”

  He opens his mouth and starts spitting them out onto the desk. He stands quickly, spins around, and runs up the stairs to exit out the back.

  I sit down to pick up the bag and look at the pretty brunette beside me. “May I?” I ask.

  She nods with a smile. “Of course.”

  I pop a few in my mouth and say, “Thank you.”

  She leans in and whispers, “Do they really give you the shits?”

  I shrug. “Guess we’ll find out.”

  My mom laughs as Becca tells her the story of how we met for the hundredth time since she’s known her.

  “We’ve been inseparable ever since,” I add, taking a sip of my wine. Harry meows as he jumps on the couch and runs his hairless side against my hand, letting me know he wants me to pet him. I’m about to say something when I hear Becca’s phone ring. She looks down, starring at it for a second and then presses something that silences the call.

  “Who was that?” I ask, taking another sip. She just shakes her head as she stares at the TV, watching the movie silently and her smile gone. “Becca?”

  She looks over at me and I see the tears start to well up in her eyes. “It was Conner,” she whispers.

  I sigh. “I thought he hadn’t contacted you since Florida.”

  “He called me last night and I answered. Now, he won’t stop,” she admits softly.

  “Becca, you can’t …”

  “I hung up on him and haven’t answered any more calls or responded to his texts. But he’s making it hard. He knows tomorrow I’m moving back to New York and wants to try again.”

  I grind my teeth in frustr
ation. “What?” my mother asks surprised “You guys broke up?” She nods. “What happened?”

  Her eyes land on mine for a brief second and then she lets out a deep breath. She still hasn’t told me what happened in Panama City, and I haven’t wanted to bring it up since I thought she was doing better, but it looks like she’s about to tell us. She plays with a ring on her right hand as she speaks softly. “While in Panama City. Our first night there, we went to a club for a foam party. We were dancing, having fun, and he said he was going to get us another round of drinks. I swear it was like twenty minutes later; I was heading to the restroom and saw him coming out. He was adjusting his pants, and I didn’t think anything of it until the woman walked out right behind him.” She takes a deep breath. “She was wiping her lips with the back of her hand.”

  “Well …” my mother says trying to think of what to say. “Did you question him about it?”

  She nods. “He blew up. Said I was overreacting. That I’m a crazy, jealous bitch, and he can’t do anything without me questioning him.”

  “I’m not siding with him but could you have misread it?” she asks gently.

  “They both came out of the men’s bathroom,” she says, shaking her head with disappointment.

  I should have never stayed at the bar. “That fucking piece of—”

  “Ashlyn,” my mother interrupts me.

  “What?” I look at her. “He is. He treated her like shit,” I all but shout.

  My mother sighs and then looks over at Becca. “Ashlyn may have her opinion, and I don’t condone what he did in any way, but you do deserve better. You deserve someone who will treat you how you deserve to be treated, and that is with respect.”

  Her phone starts to ring again, and I reach out snatching it from her hands. I ignore his call and then hold down the button until it shuts it off. “Well, I’m telling you right now, Becca. I have stood by and let him treat you like crap because you loved him. But that made me a bad friend. Now, I’m going to be the best friend that I can be and make sure he doesn’t suck you back in.”

  I expect her to be mad. To tell me it’s her life and she can love who she wants. Instead, she smiles. “Thank you.”

  CHAPTER TEN

  RYDER

  “Have you spoken to Ashlyn?” Jaycent asks as he sits in my office.

  “No,” I say as I look over the papers scattered on my desk. My assistant, Kelly, needed the day off and days like today remind me just how invaluable she is.

  “Why is that?” he asks curiously. I place my elbows on my desk as I look over the paperwork that has my head hurting. It’s all I’ve worked on for the last week. They are asking for how much …? “Are you ignoring me?”

  I look up at him. “No, I’m trying to work. Why aren’t you doing the same?” I ask with a tight smile.

  He shrugs. “Took the day off today,” he says simply.

  I snort. “More like played hooky.”

  He smiles and then nods his head once. “So Ashlyn. She was hot. Are you excited about seeing her tonight?” He wiggles his dark eyebrows.

  I sit back in my seat, pinching the bridge of my nose with a heavy sigh. “I haven’t spoken to her since the day after she returned to Seattle. I’ve been busy with work, and I know she and Becca are busy tying up loose ends,” I admit.

  He frowns. “Well, you’ll see her tonight. Gonna pick up where you left off?” He leans back in his seat with a cocky smile on his face as if he just told me a secret. “She seemed really into you. Think she’ll be at your beck and call?”

  “I doubt that,” I say honestly. She’s been on my mind a lot since Florida. I have never had a woman touch me the way she did. She was exactly what I had needed, something different. Something wild yet also comfortable. Now that I’m back in New York, all the women seem to be incomparable to her. The way she woke me up, the way she moaned when I placed my hands on her—everything about her arouses me.

  I readjust my hardening cock in my slacks, and I clear my throat as thoughts of her and me that first night come to mind.

  Her hand tightens in mine as I pull her away from the little bar on the beach. We stay silent as we make our way to the hotel, and my feet pick up the pace as we walk through the lobby to an open elevator. The moment the doors close, she turns to me and pushes my back up against the wall.

  My hands go to her hair, and I lower my lips to hers, kissing her deeply as her hands go to my shorts. I moan into her mouth as she slides her hand down my shorts and wraps it around my long and hard cock. She starts to stroke it, and I spin us around and pin her back to the wall.

  “Wait …” I say, pulling away from her lips. I yank her hands from my shorts and pin both of her hands above her head.

  “I can’t wait,” she breathes, pressing her chest into mine.

  A growl escapes my parted lips at how turned on she is. “Are you wet, baby?” I ask lowering my head to where my lips are almost touching hers.

  Her eyes close, and she whimpers. “Yes.” She presses her hips into mine, and she looks up at me through her long dark lashes. “God, I want you to fuck me. Please,” she begs, and I tighten my hands around her wrists.

  “I’m going to,” I tell her. “But I wanna play with you first,” I say with a smile. A woman like her, one who is already panting and begging, is the kind of woman you take your time with. You kiss them, lick them. You consume them to the point of bursting into flames with need. Then you give them exactly what they want...

  “Ryder?”

  I snap out of my memory as I look up at my father now standing in my office. “Yes, sir?” I ask, clearing my throat.

  He looks down at his watch and then fixes his already straight black tie. “I’m flying out in five hours,” he reminds me. “I need you to take care of the Mason contract by the end of the day.”

  I nod my head and point down at the papers on my desk. “That’s what I’m doing.” If people would just leave me alone and let me work.

  He looks from me to Jaycent. “It looked like you were daydreaming about something,” he says as a matter-of-fact. “Get it done.” He takes a quick look around my office. “And clean this place up. It looks like a men’s locker room.” Then he exits, shutting the door behind him.

  I sigh, and Jaycent chuckles. I’ve pretty much been living in my office for the last few days. I have suits strung over the back of my couch, and three different pairs of shoes over in the far corner. The door to my bathroom is open, and you can see my pajama pants from last night on the floor. That’s what happens when you live your job. “It looked to me, like you were thinking about a very hot blonde.”

  I growl as I readjust my tight slacks again. I can’t help but remember her and what she made me feel. She is exactly what I’ve wanted in a town full of the same ol’ shit. I’m just not sure how well I will compete with New York. The men here will be begging for her company. And I’ll just be some guy she once had a piece of.

  ASHLYN

  I stand smashed between my mother and father; my cheeks hurt because I’ve been smiling so much the last ten minutes.

  “Just one more,” my mother says as she brushes her blond hair off her shoulder while sniffing.

  “Margaret, you have to quit crying or you’ll have red eyes in all the photos,” my father tells her as he straightens his back.

  “I can’t help it,” she all but sobs. “I don’t want you to leave me.” She turns to face me and yanks me out of my dad’s arms.

  I hug her tightly as I chuckle. “I’ll be back to visit soon, Mom,” I say, rubbing her back as we stand outside the airport.

  “Visiting isn’t the same,” she cries. She pulls away from me quickly and looks over at Becca, who is standing in front of us with my mother’s phone, taking pictures. “You come here too.” She motions for her. Becca smiles as she walks over to us, and we do a group hug. “I’m gonna miss you. I feel like I’m losing two girls.”

  “Thank you for being so kind, Margaret,” Becca says as her e
yes start to fill with tears. “I’m gonna miss you guys too.”

  “Promise me you’ll come back to visit with Ashlyn?” She sniffs again.

  “Of course.” A single tear rolls down her face.

  My father walks over to us, takes my mother’s phone from Becca’s hand, and stops an older man as he walks by. “Excuse me, sir, but could you take a picture of us?”

  “Absolutely,” he answers with a kind smile.

  We all adjust ourselves and put our best smiles on for the camera, but I feel a pain in my chest because I’m about to jump on a plane and leave my parents. But this has always been my dream, and dreams won’t come true unless you follow them. And mine are taking me to New York.

  The plane ride to New York was just as exhausting as the last couple of weeks have been. We spent most of our day either sitting on a plane or in an airport during layovers. By the time we exited our last plane in New York, I had a pounding headache and was ready to pass out in a bed.

  “This airport is massive,” I say, dragging my carry-on bag behind me while I look around the very busy JFK. If not for Becca, I’m sure I would get lost. A few times.

  “Yeah. You get used to it,” Becca says with a bright smile on her face. She’s gotten more and more chipper the closer we got to New York. Conner calling her last night is only a distant memory.

  I blow the loose blond hairs that hang in my face and readjust the heavy purse over my shoulder, tilting my head from side to side, trying to stretch my stiff neck. My back is killing me from sitting on the multiple planes it took us to get here. I’m pretty sure staying up late last night and waking up early is taking a toll on me as well.

  We walk what seems like forever and then we take a tram. Finally, we make it to the baggage claim, and I drop my purse on the floor and plop down on a bench. “I’m so tired,” I say, running my hands over my face. It’s got to be close to eleven at night.

  She giggles. “You can get some rest as soon as we get home.”

  I smile at how she calls our new place home and pull my phone out of my pocket. I see that I have three missed calls and ten text messages, all of them from my mother. I see that I have two hundred messages in our family FB chat that my aunt has named my bitches. My mother has threatened her for months to change that. If she knew how, she would do it herself, but she is technologically challenged. She still has issues trying to take a selfie.