by Tiana Cole
“How come?” I asked, trying to be indignant but failing miserably. “I could be allergic.”
“That’s right, you could be allergic. That doesn’t mean you are.”
I opened my mouth to speak without a clear plan as to what my rebuttal should be, but right at that moment the front bell rang loudly. Kayla laughed again as she stood both her and Sophie up.
“I guess you got saved by the bell this time, didn’t you, mister?”
“I guess I did. Now how about we eat some pizza?”
***
“So tell me the truth, David. Are you really allergic to dogs?”
The pizza had been eaten and Sophie had been put to bed hours ago. This was the part of my day I had come to like best, the quiet part where Kayla and I had some time to ourselves. Now we sat on the large sofa in front of the fireplace, Sinatra playing over the stereo and the bottle of red on the table in front of us. Kayla looked beautiful, also the way I liked best. No makeup and in her pajamas, her feet curled under her and her head swaying slightly to the music. Yes, I loved her. Whether or not it made any sense I loved her very much.
“David? Earth to David. Dogs? Allergic, yes or no?”
“Nope, not allergic. At least I wasn’t the last time I checked.”
“Well, then why don’t you want her to have a puppy?”
“I don’t know, she’s just so young. You know she won’t be able to take care of it, so who is it that’s going to take care of it?”
“Honestly?” she asked with a little smirk. “Probably me. But I don’t mind that. It’s actually a really good way to teach her about responsibility and how to take care of another living thing.”
“Well, now that you pull in the teachable moment thing.”
“I’m serious! It could be really good and she seems to want it so much. Come on, David, it’s her birthday.”
“We’ll see. I’ll think about it.”
The truth was that if both of them really wanted us to have a puppy we were going to get one, no questions asked. There was no way I was going to say no to both of them, not when I loved them so much. But a man has his dignity and I wanted to at least pretend that I had some pull, had the final say. From the look on her face Kayla wasn’t fooled at all, but she was gracious enough not to say anything. That was another thing I liked about her. She never rubbed it in once she had won something. She almost made it seem like whatever that something was had been your idea to begin with.
“Well, how about we talk about a different part of the whole birthday thing. Are you going to have a party for her?”
“Sure I will. I haven’t done that since she’s been living with me. I never felt like it made sense to with the way things were between us, but things are different now. You made them different, Kayla.”
“Stop,” she said quietly as she looked into her glass, “I didn’t do anything.”
“You did. You did a whole hell of a lot. But going back to your question, I think a party would be great. It would be like a celebration of her birthday and the fact that we’re really like a family now. She really does feel like my little girl now.”
“That’s amazing. It makes me so, so happy to hear that.”
Her eyes were shiny with tears and I put my arm around her, kissing her gently and hugging her close. She was so gentle, so sweet. I didn’t know how to make her understand how much of a difference she had made in our lives in such a short amount of time. My only hope was to try and show her. We were quiet for a while, just sitting together and thinking our separate thoughts, before Kayla spoke again.
“Where are you going to have it?”
“How come?”
“I don’t know, just thought I would ask.”
“Oh no, I don’t think so. You’ve got something up your sleeve, I can tell. What did you have in mind?”
She sat up straight, practically bouncing on the couch cushion and looked at me with excitement that was contagious.
“It’s just this idea I had. You can say no if you want to.”
“Well, you’ll have to tell me what it is before I can even think about saying no. Come on, what’s the idea?”
“I don’t know if you’ll go for it. I don’t even know if it’s possible.”
“Just tell me, babe. Almost everything is possible. You just have to go at it the right way.”
“It’s just that I haven’t been able to stop thinking about the hospital. Your hospital.”
“Okay, what about it exactly?”
“It’s the children’s wing. All of those kids cooped up in a hospital, not getting to actually be children. It just seems so awful.”
I kept quiet, watching her intently. I could see that she was nervous to bring up whatever it was she had thought up but I wanted her to be able to say it without any further prompting from me. I wanted her to know that she could trust me to do that.
“I was just thinking, maybe we could have her party there. She doesn’t know many children her own age and those kids could use the distraction. I feel like it could be good for a lot of people.”
Leave it to her to think of something like that. She was always thinking about how she could make things better for people. Truthfully, it made me feel just a little bit ashamed of myself. It was something that I should have thought of, but since I didn’t I was glad she did.
“You really are amazing, aren’t you?”
“What do you mean? Are you making fun of me?”
“No!” I said with a laugh. “Of course I’m not. I mean it. I think that idea is perfect. I can’t think of anything that would be better.”
“Really? Do you think Sophie will be okay with it?”
“I think she’ll be more than okay. I think she’ll be over the moon.”
“Oh good!” she said, clapping her hands excitedly. “I just think it would be the best thing. It’s really important to me, you know? For all of those children to feel just as happy and loved as Sophie will.”
“I know it is, babe. That’s something that I can’t get enough of with you. You have such a good, pure heart.”
She got sort of a strange look on her face when I said that, something I didn’t quite understand. Was she just not used to be complicated like that? Maybe I was going a bit overboard. Or did she still not believe that I really liked her, that I wasn’t some piece of shit guy trying to use her because it was convenient?
Either way, I wanted to make sure she knew that I meant the things I said to her. I pulled her in closer to me and kissed her forehead gently. If I had it my way we would end every one of our nights just like this for a long, long time.
Chapter Fourteen
Kayla
“Are you ready, little lady? All princessed out? This is your day, after all. Unless you’ve changed your mind and don’t want a party after all. We could always just stay here and watch TV.”
“Noooo! No TV! Party. Party time for me!”
Oh man, this girl made me laugh. Seeing her now in her bright purple fairy princess costume and little tiara sitting slightly askew on the top of her head, Sophie reminded me of the first time I saw her with her cut finger and inquisitive nature. She was turning five, but she was still that same little girl with the pair of ruby red slippers. She was just a little more secure, a little more well-adjusted.
Thinking about her on that first day made me think about myself and what I had been doing there when I brazenly opened the front door and entered without ever being invited in. It made me want to curl up into a little ball and disappear just thinking about it now. How presumptuous could a person be to basically break into someone’s home and then ask to be hired for a job? That was just plain rude.
And that didn’t even begin to touch the surface of the matter. There was also the fact that I had come there with the sole intention of pretty much destroying him and the little family he was trying to hang on to. I had been full of vengeance and bitter plans that he still had no idea of. What was I supposed to do? Was I suppo
sed to tell him? Just the other week he had told me that one of the things he liked best about me was how pure my heart was. Did I tell him how wrong he was and just hope that he didn’t give up on me? I didn’t know if I would be able to do that if the tables were turned.
“Kaykay? Where’d you go?”
“Nowhere, Sophie. I’m right here.”
“Nope. Another place than here.”
“I’m sorry, sweet girl, I was just thinking. I guess I got a little lost in my own head. You know what I mean?”
She cocked her head to one side, causing her tiara to become even more lopsided, and gave me a skeptical look. Did she know what I meant? Of course she didn’t know what I was talking about. It wasn’t like I was talking to an adult. She was preschool age, literally five years old for less than a day. If I was going to get some stuff off of my chest I was a lot better off calling Yvonne and getting a big dose of reality. For now, it was time to get this little girl to a party. She was the star of the show, after all.
“Don’t worry about it, Sophie, I’m just talking crazy. But you know what I hear? I’m pretty sure it’s a car coming to a stop, which means our ride is here. You ready to go and do some parting?”
“Yay!”
Sophie started hopping like a bunny rabbit towards the front door and I couldn’t help but shake my head, laughing at the cartoonish picture she painted. There really wasn’t any point in worrying about this stuff right now. It was Sophie’s day, and it wasn’t like anything had actually happened anyway. Who knew? Maybe I was overreacting, just making things far more complicated than they needed to be. It wouldn’t be the first time I did something to that effect and I was willing to bet it wouldn’t be the last, either.
Maybe I should actually listen to some of the advice Yvonne had already given me. Maybe I should just let loose and actually let myself have fun for once. That might be all it took for everything to work out wonderfully. I really hoped so, too, because I was pretty sure I was falling in love with David. It would be beyond a shame to ruin everything before it really got a chance to get off of the ground.
“Well, hello there, Ms. Evans, fancy meeting you here.”
“Hello yourself, doctor. How is everything going so far?”
David’s eyes gleamed at me and his grin made my heart flutter. He was hardly even trying to disguise his admiration for me and I wondered whether or not any of his co-workers could tell that there was something going on between us. With the heat I felt in my face it seemed like the whole world must be able to see it, as if I had a big flashing neon sign on my forehead saying “I’m head over heels for that man.” I shook my head quickly, trying to physically shake the nerves out of my body. I had never been the type of girl to be able to play it cool all that well but it seemed like this would be a really good time to start.
“It’s fantastic. I knew this was a good idea from the moment you said it but this has far exceeded my expectations. These kids are so happy, Kayla. This is the best I’ve seen a lot of them in a while. You really do have an extraordinary instinct with kids and what will help them. It’s a gift. It really is.”
“I don’t know what to say. Thank you, David. That means a lot to me. A whole lot. It’s probably the best thing anyone has ever said to me.”
David moved forward like he was going to kiss me and I took a step back, warning him with one look not to take it any further. It didn’t exactly seem like a good plan for him to start making out with the nanny in the middle of the hospital hallway. For one thing, I knew his mother was right around the corner and I had a pretty good idea how she would feel about the two of us being together. Not to mention the rest of the employees. I was doing my best not to even think about them because if I let myself go down that rabbit hole all I would do for the rest of the day was worry that someone was going to recognize me.
“Here, come with me.”
David put a hand on my back and started to lead me away from where all of the action of the party was. I resisted, looking back behind us to see if I could find Sophie anywhere.
“But what about Sophie? Shouldn’t we go hang out with her?”
“We will. She’s having such a blast right now with everyone that she won’t even notice that we’re gone. We won’t be gone for long and besides, we’re with her all of the time. Or at least you are. We can take just a couple of minutes away, can’t we? Or am I being kind of an asshole?”
His serious face and slightly pouty eyes made me laugh and it was impossible not to give in. He was probably right and it would definitely be nice to get out of the eyesight of any nurses or doctors who might recognize me from when my sister was here. I gave him my best devilish grin and nodded.
“Well yes, you are being kind of an asshole, but I think I’m okay with it. Alright, let’s go. But only for a few minutes, okay?”
“You got it.” He grinned, practically tugging me along with him.
“A closet? Really, David? I feel like I’m sixteen and playing seven minutes in heaven.”
“Did they really play that game in high school?”
“I don’t know. If they did I was never invited.”
“Well, then every guy you ever went to school with was a complete dipshit. How could they not want to wind up in a small, confined place with you?”
I laughed lightly, my breath coming out in little gasps as David’s hands moved teasingly over the length of my body. His mouth moved suggestively from my mouth down to my neck. Even here, with what this place represented and all of the stress it caused me, I wanted him. Every place he touched me felt like it was struck by lightning and my arms wrapped around him, pulling him in closer to me. It seemed like he could never get close enough.
“David,” I gasped, trying to keep some kind of a head on my shoulders, “we can’t do this here. We’re in the hospital. You work here. And also it’s icky.”
“Ha! It’s icky?” he said, chuckling and poking me playfully in the side. I jumped back, swatting his hand away and laughing along with him.
“Shh! Don’t be so loud, I don’t want to be found sitting in a closet with you. And yes, it’s icky. There is no better word to describe it.”
“Well, you’re the teacher. You should know. Speaking of you being the teacher, I wanted to talk to you about something. That’s actually part of why I wanted to get you away from the crowd, before I got distracted, that is.”
“Okay, what’s on your mind?”
“You really care about these kids, don’t you?”
“Yes, I really do.”
“And you think about them, want to help them however you can?”
“You know I do, David. Why are you asking me these questions?”
“I know you’ve always wanted to have a school for sick children. I know it’s important to you, after what your sister went through. So I think you should do it. I think you should have your preschool.”
“I’m not sure I understand.”
I was starting to feel just a little bit light headed, even claustrophobic in this closet with him talking about such serious things. Of course I wanted the preschool but it wasn’t as simple as just wanting it. I had to find a way to make it happen. It took a location and some money.
“Here. You should have it here. Seeing how much of a difference you made today with these kids with the attention you showed them opened my eyes as to what they need. Yes, they need the medical attention that we are giving them and the quality of that attention won’t lessen. But they need more than that, too, and that’s what you can give them.”
“You think so?”
“I do. I really do. I think you could give them something nobody else in the whole damned hospital can. It might even be the thing that helps them to get better.”
I couldn’t answer him. It was like I had lost the ability to speak. It was more than I could ever have hoped for. He was opening up his hands and giving me my biggest dream with no mention of getting anything in return. It would have been years before I w
as able to do something like that, if at all. It felt like it wasn’t real. It was too good to be real and all I could do was look at him, my whole body shaking like a leaf.
“So what do you say, Kayla? Did I go too far? Did I scare you off or something?”
I shook my head no, still not trusting my voice to produce actual words.
“So is it something you would like to do?”
“Yes! Oh my god, David, I can’t think of anything better. But what about Sophie? You hired me to be her nanny, which I love, but if I’m here at the hospital there won’t be anybody home to take care of her.”
“Maybe it’s time that she starts going to school. You’ve already taught her so much and I know how patient you are with her. You would never yell at her for how she is. And I can see now that she needs the socialization. It would be good for her. And as an added bonus I’ll have both of the girls I care about the most with me every day. What could be better than that?”