by Tiana Cole
I couldn’t think of anything to do but kiss him. I was too happy, too dizzy with all of these new possibilities he had just unfolded for me. Standing here with him now I had no idea how I could ever have thought such awful things about this man. I was beyond grateful that he had proved me so entirely wrong.
“Ah, David, there you are. I was wondering where you had run off to. This is your daughter’s birthday, after all.”
“I know that, Mother.”
“Yes,” she said, looking me up and down with a disapproving look, “I suppose you do. I had thought to find the nanny to see if she could tell me of your whereabouts but now I see that she’s running around with you. My goodness, if this is how the two of you operate, how do you keep Sophie safe? She must be running around simply wild when you’re at home.”
Man, his mom definitely didn’t hold anything back. The way she looked at me made me feel dirty, like there was something inherently wrong with me just because I was standing there. Just a couple of minutes before I had felt like I was floating through the building I was so happy, and now I was back to feeling afraid and unsure of practically everything. What a nasty talent to have.
Then, to both my shock and the shock of his horrified mother, David took my hand in his own. I tried to pull away but his grip held firm. He wasn’t going to let me go. He wasn’t going to let his mother’s opinion hurt him anymore. I was proud of him, even if I felt a little bit like I might throw up.
“Actually she’s very well looked after. Very well loved. We’re all very happy. Kayla is better with children than anyone I’ve ever met. That’s why I’ve just spoken to her about her starting a preschool here for the children. She’s going to help us change the world.”
“Excuse me?”
“Don’t, okay? Just don’t. You heard what I said, Mother.”
“I don’t know what you’re thinking, David, but just because you decided to make the nanny into some kind of a sordid dalliance doesn’t mean she is qualified to run a preschool in this establishment. Those children in there are ill, or did you forget that with your new distraction? They need to focus on getting well, not on preschool.”
I would have backed down right there but David squeezed my hand and smiled the sweetest smile. He didn’t seem to be even a little bit afraid. It was quite the opposite, really. He seemed completely calm and that helped me to stay reasonably calm as well. If he could stand up to his mother this way then I should definitely be able to stand by his side while he did it.
“I’m sorry you feel that way. But fortunately for us, we don’t need you to think it’s a good idea or to agree with anything I say. I have a feeling that when I come to the board with this proposal they are going to feel quite differently than you do.”
His mother didn’t even answer. She let out a snort of disgust and then turned on her expensive heels and stalked away. This was the second time his mother had interacted with me in the context of her son and both times had ended in her storming out of the room. You had to laugh about it. It was just too cliché for words.
“Well, that’s that. We’ve slain the dragon. It should all be pretty much uphill from here, don’t you think?”
“I hope so. It would honestly be a complete dream come true.”
Even though we were in the middle of the hospital where anyone and everyone could see, David turned me towards him and put his arms around me. I didn’t try to pull away from him this time. I didn’t have the energy to pretend about him anymore, and now that his mother knew it didn’t feel like it mattered so much. I looked up into his amazingly deep eyes and couldn’t help but smile.
“Kayla, it’s corny as all hell, but I have to say it. You feel like my dream come true. I never thought I would have that. I don’t want to frighten you away, but I think I’m falling in love with you.”
Now it was my turn to feel calm. I didn’t have to think twice about what my answer should be. I had already known before he said anything.
“I think I’m falling in love with you, too.”
Chapter Fifteen
Kayla
“So, little lady, are you all partied out?”
“Hmm, I dunno. Maybe. I think so.”
“No room for anymore? You’re ready to move on and be five years old now?”
“Why?”
Sophie looked at David skeptically with one little hand on her hip and I had to cover my mouth to keep myself from laughing. I didn’t want to encourage any less than polite behavior, but she was just so funny! And besides, I was a little bit curious myself about just what David was hinting around at. Sophie’s party had been yesterday and, as far as I knew, she had already been given all of her gifts. So why was David asking her such leading questions? I knew he had something up his sleeve, I just wasn’t sure what it was. But after the massive gift he had laid in my lap, the realization of my deepest dream, I was pretty sure it would be good. It seemed like almost everything was good with him. He had an amazing capacity to give to the people he loved.
“No reason. I just thought I would check.”
He glanced at me, quickly catching my attention, and gave me a conspiratorial little wink. I was right. He definitely had something up his sleeve. Watching him like this made my heart clench in my chest. I did love him, I really did. Against all of my better judgement and practical reasoning I didn’t seem to be able to keep myself from him. We seemed to be just like two magnets.
“Nope, Daddy. Why?”
David and I both busted out laughing this time. It was just too cute not to. She knew her dad too well to be fooled and she stamped her foot in indignation at his attempt to trick her or lead her on. David walked quickly across the kitchen floor and scooped her up into his arms, kissing her on the cheek and pulling her in towards his heart. I wondered if he could hear mine beating, joyfully, calling out at the warm sight of the two of them together. They were so different now than how they had been when I had first come to this place. All of us were.
“Well, Sophie, I was just wondering if you thought you could handle another gift. Just one more, mind you. One more and then nothing else, I promise.”
“Yes! Where, Daddy? I’m ready now.”
He laughed again and set her down, looking at me and motioning with his head to follow the two of them. I knew I should probably stay and work on our breakfast, but by this point I was curious, too. I got up quickly, knowing that Sophie was probably way ahead of the both of us at this point. She must have just known that David had put whatever surprise he had in the great room, because that was exactly where she had headed. She got there before either one of us could catch up and the next thing I heard was her little shriek of delight. I wasn’t sure what exactly he had done, but apparently she was pretty impressed.
“What is it, David? She sounds like you just told her she’s actually a Disney princess.”
He laughed and slowed down, taking me by the hand and kissing me softly. Just as it always did when he touched me, my stomach filled with little butterflies and I couldn’t help being slightly stunned by my luck. It was hard to believe that a man like him was really, truly falling in love with me.
“You’ll see. Maybe I meant for it to be a surprise for you, too. Did you ever think of that?”
“No,” I laughed, feeling like a giddy kid, “honestly it never did. Not ever, not even once.”
He laughed again and led me into the room where Sophie was already rolling around on the floor, clearly ecstatic about something. It didn’t take me very long to realize what that something was.
“Oh my god, David! You didn’t! I thought that was a no go, totally shut down. What made you change your mind?”
A tiny, rolly polly English bulldog was standing on top of Sophie and licking her enthusiastically on the face. It was white with brown splotches that looked just like she had been in some kind of a splatter paint accident. When David and I entered the room, the puppy looked out and let out what I was sure was supposed to be a ferocious bark. Then it s
truggled down off of Sophie and loped towards us, slipping and sliding on the smooth floor. I bent down to meet it and scooped the precious little thing up into my arms.
“Oh, David, it’s just perfect.”
“She. It’s a she.”
“Well, then she’s perfect. I can’t believe you got her a puppy! And this is my favorite type of dog, too. I can’t believe that. Isn’t that a crazy coincidence?”
“It’s not really a coincidence, Kayla,” David said as he looked at me with a mischievous glimmer in his eyes. “I may or may not have had my little daughter there pump you for puppy information. You know, as a hypothetical, just in case we ever got a dog down the line. So basically Sophie is a double agent, even though she didn’t know it.”
I slapped him playfully in the arm, careful not to jostle the pretty little girl nestling her head into the crook of my arm. This was it for me. It was perfection. Somehow out of all of the pain and anger that had brought me here I had managed to find this little family that took me in and made me feel like I belonged. It was much more than I deserved but I was beyond grateful to have it. I never expected to be graced with something like it, especially after Nikki passed.
“Do you like it? I think I love it.”
“You know what? I can see why, Sophie. She’s adorable. What do you think you’ll name her?”
Sophie thought for a while, scrunching up her entire face with the effort it took her. I glanced at David and tried to hide my smile, knowing that she considered this to be a serious decision. Finally I could see her eyes light up and I knew she had made her decision.
“Moo Moo.”
“Moo Moo? Are you sure?”
David looked at me and shrugged his shoulders. It was obvious that the name made no more sense to him than it did to me, but we both knew that if it was something Sophie had set her heart on, it was going to happen. She was stubborn like that, the way I imagined my own daughter would be if I ever had one of my own.
“Yup. It’s Moo Moo.”
“How come?”
“Cuz she looks like a little cow. A princess cow. Princess Moo Moo!”
“Excellent, Princess Moo Moo it is. Now, why don’t you come take her from me and bring her back into the kitchen with us? I’m just about done with breakfast and I don’t want it to get cold.”
She took the little puppy and kissed her on her nose before following her father and me back to the kitchen. I could already see that this puppy was going to be good for her. It wasn’t just that she had wanted it so badly. It was about more than that. It gave her something to love unconditionally and to take care of. It was the perfect way to help her to focus in on something, to take care of another living thing. I couldn’t think of a more valuable lesson to teach a child.
“My lady.”
Sophie giggled as David pulled out a dining room chair for her. He was treating her like a little lady, her and Moo Moo both, and she couldn’t seem to get enough of it. Every time I thought things couldn’t possibly get better between the two of them, something new happened and I watched them become even more connected. I watched them with tears in my eyes that I hoped neither of them noticed, then scooped the eggs and potatoes out of their respective pans and onto the plates. After setting them down I sat down myself. Just like Sophie had, I laughed when David stood and pulled out my chair. I knew he was only being silly, but it still made me feel special. I had never had a man pull out a chair for me before. It was something I would never demand, but it was definitely a nice touch. He reached out and smoothed the hair away from my face, letting his hand linger in a way that made me feel hot and my skin tingle. Then he sat down beside me, picking up his fork with the eagerness of a man who was half starved.
“Daddy?”
“What’s up, baby girl?”
“Am I going to have a new mommy?”
David and I put our forks down at the exact same time. It should have occurred to me that this was a question we might get. The more careless we got with the amount of affection we showed the higher the chance of Sophie questioning us about it became. But somehow I hadn’t really thought about the mommy question. Maybe a question about whether or not we were a couple, but never about whether or not she was going to have a new mommy. Because she must have been talking about me, right? Or was she insinuating that she wanted not me but someone else? Very suddenly I felt flustered and totally unsure. I looked to David and waited, afraid of what he might say. Or maybe afraid of what he might not say.
“Why do you ask that, Sophie?”
He didn’t look at me once. All of his attention and focus was on Sophie, which I knew was exactly as it should be. It didn’t help me to feel any less uncertain, however. Only a little while earlier I had felt like the three of us made a little family unit of our own and now I was right back to feeling like an outsider. I didn’t even know if I should stay here for the rest of this but I also couldn’t see how to best make my exit. So instead of leaving I sat as still as I possibly could, hoping the two of them would forget I was there. The really hard thing was that I was also hoping they didn’t forget I was there. That would mean that all of my daydreams about David and our possible future would be over.
“Well, it’s been a long time since I had one. I want to have one.”
“Do you?”
“Mhm. I want Kayla to be my mommy. Will she?”
“I don’t know, baby. But you know what? I want her to be, too. I hope that someday pretty soon she will be.”
David’s voice was thick and I could actually see the tension in his body. My heart was beating so quickly that I thought for a moment I could very possibly have a panic attack. It wouldn’t be the worst place in the world for that to happen, seeing as I was with a doctor, but it would still be pretty damned embarrassing. I didn’t know what to say. Was I even supposed to say anything? Or did he just say that because the comment threw him off guard and he wasn’t sure how else to respond? I felt like a teenager desperately trying to interpret the baffling things the cool boy had said. This was never something I was good at and it appeared that I hadn’t gotten any better.
“Yay! Kayla, you’re going to be my mommy, right? Soon, soon, soon. Then there can be a new baby to play with!”
She must have gotten the answer she was looking for because she didn’t even finish her breakfast. She hopped down out of her chair and scooped Moo Moo up into her arms, singing to herself and scurrying across the floor and out of the room while singing Happy Birthday under her breath. That left just David and me sitting at the table with the massive thing he had just said hanging in the air between us.
“Are you okay?”
He seemed so nervous that I couldn’t help but laugh. He was the one who had been made to field such a dicey question, after all. Even so, he was worrying about me. Maybe he hadn’t been completely full of shit when he said those things to Sophie. Was that possible, that he actually meant it?
“Sure, I’m fine. Kids ask that kind of thing, don’t they? They have this super strong need to know the way things will work out. You handled it well, though. You didn’t panic, didn’t upset her. You did good.”
“How would I have upset her?”
“I don’t know. If she tells you she wants a mommy and you say it’s not going to happen. You made her happy without completely committing to anything.”
David’s eyes darkened and he pulled his chair closer to mine so quickly that it made me jump. He took both of my hands into his and looked at me with such a high level of intensity that it was almost frightening. I had to fight not to look away.
“Kayla, what exactly do you think I was doing there?”
“What do you mean? You were answering Sophie’s question. I know that, David.”
“Right, but do you think it was a lie? Do you think I was lying to her?”
“I, well, I don’t know. Not lying to her. I’m not trying to accuse you of anything like that. Maybe just embellishing a little bit for her sake. You know she’ll
probably forget all about it in a day or two.”
“No, I don’t think she will, but it honestly wouldn’t matter. Nothing I said was anything but the truth. I know we haven’t known each other for all that long, but I meant what I said. I do hope you’re her mother one day. I hope you don’t ever leave this place.”
“I already live here,” I said, laughing nervously and trying to diffuse the tension, “and it’s part of my job. It doesn’t look like I’m going anywhere, does it?”
“No, but I don’t want you to be here because it’s your job. I want you to be here because you want to be here, and not in the garage apartment, either.”