The Doctor's Fake Nanny: Contemporary BWWM Romance

by Tiana Cole

  “If this is about the girls giving you shit for having a rich boyfriend, I’ll deal with it. They’re probably just envious over your luck, Cass.”

  Cassidy shook her head.

  It wasn’t just about the girls giving her strange looks and talking behind her back — like it was her fault her boyfriend happened to be a billionaire. No one believed she didn’t know about that. Her explanation that she thought Tristan had rich parents sounded lame in her ears. Even Brian, the nerdy newcomer at the café, was skeptical she didn’t know anything about the man she was sleeping with. He repeated like a mantra that Tristan Jones-Dell, IT expert, and owner of the largest warehouse in Silicon Valley, was a billionaire.

  “You sure you’re not gonna change your mind about leaving?” Ron asked, handing her an envelope with cash inside. “Gossip will go away, Cass. You don’t have to leave, you know.”

  Cassidy knew she had to leave, though. This gossip would definitely not go away. Not with a belly that would eventually announce to the whole world that she was pregnant. No. Things would just get more complicated.

  She took a bus to the Upper East Side and walked the few blocks to the apartment building where Tristan lived. She prayed he hadn’t returned while she was away. The interior of the house was dark but she knew her way around. She entered the bedroom that she shared with him. Her heart felt heavy regret at the thought of what she was leaving behind. She collected her belongings, and as she made her way out, she glanced once again at the prints he had pinned on the wall. Even to her amateur eyes she knew these were amazing photographs.

  Oh, Tristan, why couldn’t you be who I thought you were?

  Everything she knew about him was hinged on a lie.

  Forty-eight hours later, she was on a Greyhound bus bound for Birmingham, Alabama. Cassidy decided to stay for a few days with Aunt Mattie, her father’s sister. Her mom and dad were just an hour’s drive away in Tuscaloosa. She needed time to think. Now that she was here, she didn’t know what to do next. She was afraid of confronting her folks with the news that she was pregnant. Surely they would be thoroughly disappointed. They always thought she was the most sensible girl in the world.

  Aunt Mattie was bent over and suffered from arthritis. She was a placid woman with graying hair and astute eyes that could see through her anguish. She didn’t pry, but knew that Cassidy was weighed down about something.

  “Tell them, honey. Whatever it is that’s buggin’ you, tell your momma and papa. They’ll understand,” Aunt Mattie said.

  Cassidy took Aunt Mattie’s advice and went home the very next day. Her heart was pounding wildly in her chest as she entered the gate leading to the house. Her mom, looking frail and weakened, opened the door even before Cassidy reached the porch. The look of incredulity was immediately replaced by delight at the sight of her. Astonishment took over as Cassidy came rushing straight into her arms. Mom led her to the kitchen where her equally astonished dad was seated at the table drinking coffee.

  “Cassidy, honey, why didn’t you call and let us know you were coming? I could have come and picked you up at the bus stop!”

  Cassidy saw the look that passed between her folks. They had been married so long that sometimes words simply weren’t needed. Dad ushered his distraught daughter into a chair, making certain his wife was comfortably seated too.

  Dad bustled about in the kitchen heating a kettle of water. He had one of those vintage thermos flasks in which he stored boiling water. Cassidy often teased him about getting a modern coffee maker, but her dad refused, saying the flask was what made the coffee taste delicious.

  “Tea, mama?” he asked, and Mom nodded.

  Cassidy knew it was all part of the daily routine that made up their life together. Her mom never drank anything except chamomile tea.

  “For me too, Dad.”

  Dad raised an eyebrow in surprise. His daughter never drank tea. She hated it. Yet he said nothing and produced another cup for her. As the three sat there in comfortable silence, Cassidy knew her mom and dad wouldn’t ask her any questions. Not if she wasn’t ready to talk about whatever was troubling her.

  “How are you doing, mom?” Cassidy asked. “Is the cancer any better than before?”

  The last time she talked to her dad when she was back in New York, he'd said that her mom’s cancer had progressed and she'd needed more chemo.

  “I’m doin’ well, considering…” her mom replied. “Oh, we haven’t told you the good news yet. Dad managed to sell the property along the river, remember that? He got a good offer for it.”

  "Oh, mom, you and dad loved that cabin. We spent a lot of good times there when I was growing up,” Cassidy protested tearfully. She felt so helpless against the ravages cancer had made to her Mom’s body, and now it was eating up their assets.

  “I know, honey,” her dad replied, reaching out a hand to pat hers. “But it was getting so dang rundown and the four-hour trip wasn’t worth it no more. Besides, the guy who bought it said he would restore the cabin and make it really nice. Even offered to let us stay for free any time we wanted to.”

  “Dad, I’m really sorry I couldn’t send more money to help with the repairs.”

  “Don’t be crazy, honey. You were a big help… always. We knew that we shouldn’t depend so much on your kindness, ’cause you have a big life out there in New York. It wasn’t fair to you at all. New York must be expensive. We’re really sorry we couldn’t come and visit either… your mom bein’ sick and all.”

  “So… how’s work? You doin’ okay?” Mom asked.

  Cassidy remembered the reason she was home and knew that the time to tell them the truth was now. She drew a deep breath and replied, “I resigned from my job at Ron's Good Beans Cafe. I had that other job, and I resigned from there too.”

  Her mom and dad looked at her seriously. Both said nothing. Only looks of patience and understanding were written on both their faces. Those looks opened the floodgates once more as tears began to stream down her face.

  “Whatever, it is, Cass, it can’t be so bad,” her dad consoled her.

  “Oh, dad, I’m so ashamed of myself. I met this man, and… and…”

  Mom and dad reached out and took each of Cassidy’s hands. Dad squeezed her lightly, while Mom caressed her wrist with her thumb.

  Cassidy haltingly began her story. She told them how she’d been incredulous when she told them about that first meeting when Tristan left her a $500.00 tip under the coffee cup. The flowers that arrived the next day were equally surprising, but these gestures started her off on her journey to expectation. She was elated when he came back looking for her and took her out to dinner. She spared nothing about going back to his apartment where they made love for the first time.

  Her parents listened attentively with no reproach and no judgment, even when she divulged she‘d been working at an escort agency. They shared her joy, her pain, and her horror of seeing the video of him with all those women. They, too, were stunned to hear that he was a very rich man pretending to be a photographer.

  “So… you made a mistake. That’s alright, honey. You have very little experience and this Tristan… he sounded like such a swell guy,” mom said.

  “Oh, mom,” Cassidy sobbed, overwhelmed with the sympathy. “I didn’t leave New York just because he broke my heart… I left… I left because… I’m pregnant with his baby.”

  A momentary silence ensued.

  Her dad’s voice sounded different when he asked, “Does he know?”

  Cassidy shook her head, and for the first time was uncertain if she did the right thing by not letting Tristan know. She had debated with herself. He was rich and the money would surely make things easier. Yet, somehow, the thought of his addiction made the idea disgusting. She didn’t want her baby tainted in any way.

  “How far along are you?” mom asked softly, glancing at her belly.

  “Three or four months… I think.” After a short pause, Cassidy added, “I... I almost decided to have an ab
ortion. But I couldn’t go through with it.”

  “Cassidy Johnson, you will do right by that baby. Never, ever, do anything that will harm that sweet bundle of joy. Do you hear me?” Mom admonished, as Cassidy nodded her head meekly.

  Mom demanded that she take a rest in her bedroom, saying all that traveling must not be good for the little one.

  Cassidy went upstairs to her old room. It was exactly as she had left it years ago. The quilted green and yellow patchwork quilt her mom made for her eighteenth birthday still covered the bed. The music box dad bought for her was on the dresser, along with some of her favorite combs and hair ornaments. The trophy she won when she joined the beauty contest stood on a pedestal tucked in one corner of the bedroom. The sash bearing her contestant number was wound against the base of the tall trophy.

  Approaching her bed, she glanced up and saw the poster of Brad Pitt as Tristan Ludlow from the movie ‘Legends of the Fall.’ Somehow the poster stirred up memories of a rainy night in New York City. Cassidy stood on the bed, ripped the poster off, tore it to shreds, and tossed it away.

  That purging act made her feel so much better, like she was expunging some ghost that had hovered over her. She realized her mom was right. She was exhausted from the long journey from New York to Birmingham, and then on to home. However, she didn’t feel as burdened anymore. She actually felt relieved, lighter; like a great load was taken from her shoulders.

  Cassidy stifled a yawn as she stretched out on her old bed. Everything felt familiar, welcoming, and secure. She closed her eyes, intent on getting some sleep, when a strange fluttering inside her tummy made her eyes open widely in surprise.

  There it was again. An odd feeling like there was a butterfly inside her stomach. Cassidy gasped as the realization hit her. Her baby was moving for the very first time.

  Chapter Ten

  Cassidy spent the next few months reading books. She went to the public library and came home with tons of paperbacks about how to care for newborn babies. Her mom laughed at her worries and apprehensions.

  “Of course you’ll learn how to change a diaper. It’s not rocket science, silly.”

  “How about formulas, mom? How often do I feed the baby? And vitamins? Which one should I choose? There are so many options. How do I know which one is the best?”

  “You’re working yourself up for no reason,” her mom tried to calm her. “Babies are born almost every day, and I’m sure the doctor will tell you what to do. Now calm down and eat. You need to keep healthy for the little one.”

  “Mom,” Cassidy wailed, "I’ll never be ready for this.”

  “No one is ever ready to be a mom, Cass. But your instincts will tell you what is best for you and the baby. Just relax and enjoy the experience. That’s the best you can do.”

  Cassidy devoured all the books she could get her hands on. She took down notes, indicating the schedule for vaccination shots and doctor’s visits. She never realized there were so many things to do for such little creatures.

  As her understanding increased every day, she realized just how much her mom and dad must have gone through to raise her. She felt such gratitude for everything they’d done. At least they had each other to depend on. But she had no one. It was a depressing thought that she struggled to shake off. Would Tristan make a good father? She couldn’t keep the thought away.

  Against her will, her thoughts would wander to Tristan and how he was doing. Was he surprised to find her gone? Did he even try to look for her at the coffee shop? Did he know that she had gone back home? No, how would he know that? He had sent her a couple of text messages but she hadn’t replied.

  Stop it… stop it, Cassidy, she admonished herself. That part of your life is gone. You’ll never see him again. Just thank your lucky stars you managed to escape when you did.

  The memories would often bring a sharp pain, but as time went by, she thought less and less about the man she had learned to love but lost. A liar is not to be trusted. First he’d kept the secret of his money. That was bewildering and if she had asked he might have had a reason. Should she have asked? It didn’t matter now.

  The real betrayal was the girls. It was bad enough that he lied by keeping his addiction from her. But, despite the rational part of her head, she felt a deep hurt. He had pretended that he cared about her. Their time together had seemed so easy.

  The biggest adjust for Cassidy had been getting used to his lifestyle. Well, now she didn’t have to worry about being scrutinized at polo matches or anywhere else. She was Cassidy Johnson, take it or leave it.

  In the weeks that followed, Cassidy hardly ventured out of the house except to see her doctor who would monitor the baby’s progress. Mom kept insisting that exercise was good for her and good for the baby. Dad found an old ski track exercise machine in the attic. He brought the monster down and set it up in her room.

  “If you don’t go out, at least you can keep your heart in shape,” he had said, and Cassidy nearly burst into tears. Mom and dad cared about her so much. She didn’t know what she would do without them and their unwavering support. The heart that still hurt from Tristan’s betrayal would heal in time. Now her first priority was to be as healthy as she could for her baby. She added 30 minutes of skiing to her pre-natal care.

  The ultrasound the doctor administered indicated that she was having a girl. For Cassidy, it was a bittersweet moment when she first held the 3D image of the growing baby inside her.

  Her mom and dad were ecstatic to know the baby’s gender. Upon her mom’s prodding, dad lugged down from the attic an old trunk which contained some of Cassidy’s baby clothes. Together they had fun going through some of her baby stuff. It was like a trip down memory lane for the three of them.

  Dad came home one day with shopping bags overflowing with baby dresses. He held up the tiny clothes one by one, so proud of the choices he'd made.

  “Dad, you shouldn’t have!” Cassidy cried.

  “Nonsense! No granddaughter of mine will look anything less than a princess.”

  Cassidy didn’t have the heart to tell him that a monkey suit wasn’t exactly her idea of what a baby princess should be wearing. Mom had taken to knitting little booties and mittens. Cassidy marveled how her fingers worked the knitting needles so easily. She’d never learn that skill; she was sure of that.

  Mom also had a passion for gardening, one which she put aside when she was diagnosed with cancer. From the time that Cassidy arrived, she had taken it up again, transforming the once neglected backyard with lush foliage and myriads of flowering shrubs. Cassidy found her there one morning, with a straw hat on her head and a pair of cutting shears in her hand.

  “Those are beautiful,” she remarked as mom moved from one shrub to the next, inspecting the blooms carefully before cutting the stem off and gathering the flowers in a basket.

  “Beautiful just like you…” mom replied.

  “Don’t know about that… I feel like such a cow. And I eat like one too,” Cassidy disagreed.

  “Don’t be silly. You've hardly gained weight and should be eating more. That baby is depending on you for nourishment, you know.”

  Cassidy reached for the basket of flowers and pressed her nose against them.

  “He sent me a bouquet just like this the day after we met.”

  "Tristan, you mean? That was nice of him,” Mom remarked calmly.

  Cassidy immediately regretted saying the words. Lately, he would creep into her mind uninvited and when she least expected it. She wasn’t having much success trying to forget him. She knew it was her burgeoning tummy that was the cause. She also felt ugly and ungainly, and she waddled like a duck. At thirty-nine weeks, the baby's arrival was becoming more and more of a reality every day. The thought of raising her alone frightened Cassidy. Tristan had given up calling and texting her months earlier.

  “Have you changed your mind about letting him know?”

  “No!”

  “Alright,” mom answered softly, not wanting to ril
e her. “I just want you to know that dad and I will understand if you did.”

  “Should I, Mom? I mean… after everything that I found out about him, should he even know about this?”

  Her mother thought long and hard before answering, “Someday that baby will want to know. You can’t keep it a secret forever.”

  “Yeah, I’ve thought about that, too. But knowing what he is makes me sick to my stomach.”

  "You know, Cass… one thing I’ve learned about life is… things are not always what they seem. You may be wrong about him.”

  Cassidy looked at her mom, aghast. She couldn’t believe she was defending Tristan.

  “Mom, I saw videos of him coming to the agency.”

  “Yeah, I know… I’m just saying… that’s all you saw.”

  Mom was right, of course. Cassidy did make that conclusion. But what other possible explanation could there be?

  “Besides, Mom… he is so fucking — sorry — rich. I wouldn’t know how to find my way around his world. I’d always feel like I didn't belong somehow.”

  “You make money sound like such a nuisance,” Mom laughed. “He probably worked hard to get to where he is.”

  “We are worlds apart. Maybe that’s the reason why I prefer to think he’s sick in some way. It makes it easier for me to accept things the way they turned out for me.”

  Mom sighed and said, “Then you’re not being fair to yourself or to that man either.”

  Later that night while laying in bed, Cassidy thought back to what her mother had said. It bothered her to now think that she may have acted hastily leaving New York, resigning her jobs and the life she had made for herself. She could have waited for Tristan to come back and confronted him about what she’d seen in the tapes. She could have given him a chance to explain, but the succession of events hardly gave her time to think clearly all those months ago.

  To find out all in one day that you were pregnant and that your boyfriend had a secret life you didn’t know about, aside from him being filthy rich, was just too much for any girl to take. Her reaction to flee was instinct to protect herself from whatever else she would discover about him.